If you're going to this...let me know. I'm going to the Sunday Jazz Brunch cooking thing cuz I'm volunteering at the Kennedy Center's Multicultural Book Fair on Saturday after my guitar lesson. It looks like it's going to be nice!
All yall might not know it...but I'm a maaaaaaaaaaaaaaad Whitney fan. I LOVE her. Truly. And Imma stick by my girl as I always have. I'm so glad she's back. So very, very glad. Go head girl. I been praying for you to return!
This is my FAVORITE Whitney performance. Yall can act like yall don't know Whitney is THE VOICE if ya wanna. I KNOW the truf!
Well...it's after 8:00pm and all the trick-or-treaters have come and gone. I tell ya...there were some FABULOUS costumes! I think this was the best Halloween we've had here. We had cobwebs and spiders and a small bale of hay as well as lit the steps up to our door.
I can't tell you how much I enjoyed the costumes of not only our neighborhood kids...but their parents as well! Everyone really had a great time.
I wish it was like it was when we were kids and I could have taken some pics of the better costumes...but ya can't really do that in this day and age. My girlfriend brought her son over and I was grinning ear to ear to see him in his Samari Ninja costume. He was looking better than me! Go head E...go head git down!
Well...I'm officially ready for the holiday season to jump off. I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE THE HOLIDAYS! WHOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!
My Robinator hovered around me the entire time and I know he enjoyed checking the kids out too. He told me how glad he was to see I had such an awesome time. I know he worries when he sees me around lots of kids thinking I could possibly get sad and I know it did his heart good to see me smiling. Thanks my love. Thank you so very much for taking such great care of me.
Yall..I had a GREAT time! Life is good! I'm gonna hafta outdo myself next year! Whooooooohooooo!
Did you guys enjoy Halloween? How about your kids? If ya have pics of them send em to me and I'll put em up! HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I HOPE YOU HAD OOOOOOOOOOODLES OF FUN!
I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE Halloween! Love it, love it, love it! I'm probably the only adult without kids I know that gets all giddy (cept for the drunkards in Georgetown) and dresses up so I can "scare" the kids and ooooooooohs and ahhhhhhhhhhhs over the costumes of the kids trick-or-treating. LOVE IT!
Did you REALLY guess what I'd be this year? NINJAS ARE THE REAL ULTIMATE POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here goes! Ninja CreoleInDC!
Ninja CreoleInDC: Jaru...you must OBEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jaru: Bruh...you betta git dat stick out my face.
Even Ninjas need love too!
Not in my opinion. In my opinion it's good communication.
When Robby and I first started dating I was living in a cute (in D.C. cute means expensive as hell and tiny) apartment with lots of windows and beautiful exposure. I love my surroundings to be nice so I had it pretty nicely fixed up. I ate when I wanted to or if I wanted to and I never had to worry about anyone else but myself.
Similarly, Robby was living in a great apartment in Houston decorated in Early American Bachelor complete with bed-in-a-bags and no-iron percale sheets.
I loved it when he visited and when he left...I missed him like CRAZY!
After a year of long distance dating Robby applied for and found a job in D.C. and before you could blink twice he and a U-Haul were parked outside my apartment and I was directing him to the dumpster where a very nice man helped us get rid of all things UN-MONNIE-LIKE. (Pretty much all of it. :))
We lived in my now amazingly tiny apartment for three weeks until our MUCH larger two bedroom two bath was ready. Three weeks of the televisions ALWAYS being on Channel 42, ESPN. Three weeks of Robby laying on my celery colored dupioni silk sofa without putting the afghan thrown across the back between him and the sofa. Three weeks of Robby putting his wet towel over the fabric shower curtain. Three weeks of Monnie nagging at Robby to move this or that. Three weeks in too little space. Someone always THERE.
Prior to Robby I had gotten out of a VERY bad relationship with one of the two guys in the world who would see me coming now and RUN the other direction. LOL! Robby had been single for five years and he'd been having a VERY good time being a carefree bachelor.
Because of my bad breakup I wasn't trying to hear NOTHING I didn't want to hear and because Robby had been being the consummate bachelor for so long anyone asking him anything was considered nagging. Needless to say things were kinda off to a rough start.
When we moved...it was still rough because we were both grown 32 year old people who were pretty set in their ways and used to living alone. Everything I did grated his nerves...everything he did grated mine.
Insert Communication Training Here
I knew I loved Robby and that he loved me. I felt in my heart he was the one and he felt the same. Neither of us were going anywhere so if we wanted to have a good, happy life...we were going to hafta figure it out and, thank God, eventually we did.
Communicating with your mate is like a finely choreographed perfectly executed dance. He steps left, you step right. You smile, smile, glide, glide. You dip, he catches you and you never ONCE thought he'd drop you. Once you got it...YOU GOT IT. We be waltzin!
Don't have your mate wondering what's what. TELL HIM/HER. Get it out in the open. Keep the air clear. Don't be all stuffy and private with the person you hope to be intimate with for life. If you have a problem tell him/her. If you're hurting, share why.
No it's not easy. It's hard as hell. Dancing is an athletic sport. You have to be in shape and practice makes perfect. It's not that easy booty shaking hoochie dancing...it's graceful and smooth. One, two, step. One, two, step.
Now...how do you dance with YOUR star? Do you communicate well with each other? How long did it take you to learn? When did you GET IT?
If I EVER see ANY of yall in these...I'm calling ya mama AND ya pastor! Seriously!
P.S. I'm through watching "Girlfriend's." Tonight's episode was just too stoopit for words.
Let me just say this...
I love theatre and I have been blessed to be able to enjoy some of the most FABULOUS shows on Broadway and in other theatre "districts" around the world. I have even had the pleasure of seeing "The Phantom of the Opera" at Her Majesty's Theatre in London which was RENOVATED for that performance complete with the best special effects money could buy.
When I took my seat at the H Street Playhouse, I wasn't anticipating much because there was no stage per se...just the floor and on either side...rows of chairs...not many...just enough. On both ends of the "stage" area were floor to ceiling black and white murals. Very, very simple. In fact, the simplest I have EVER seen.
Yall...I WAS BLOWN AWAY! The performances were exactly as they should have been. Respectful of the craft and of the intelligence level of the audience.
If you've read Madame Morrison's book...you know the subject is very disturbing and quiet heavy. It was so heavy I was prepared to be in gloom and doom for two hours. Instead, it started light, fun and carefree. There was just enough humor to make us comfortable before the heaviness was heaved at us.
The way this book was adapted into a play was sheer genius. Lydia Diamond (adaptor) and David Muse (Director)...wow. Just...wow.
If you have a love for theatre as I do...put this one on your list. It was beautiful in a dark, deep, way. I have NEVER enjoyed another play more. Seriously. I even enjoyed it more than "The Color Purple."
After the play we had dinner at D.C. Coast and then hung out briefly at Lima Lounge. I say briefly cuz we too old to be staying out all late tryna hang. LOL! We all yawnin and ish wondering when someone was gonna say they were ready to go. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Shelly and I
Me and Queeny (OPEN YOUR EYES QUEENY!!!!!)
...when you get unsolicited advice from someone WHO DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU???????
Seriously this burns me up. And then...when they act like your reaction to them is just off the wall and you're crazy like I shoulda been grateful they stepped down off their pedestal long enough to knight me with their royal highness. As if I should have said...OH MY G! YOU ARE SO RIGHT! I'M GLAD I FINALLY MET YOU SO I CAN FINALLY GET THIS LIFE THING CORRECT! WHOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!
I seek advice from the readers who come here because they are smart and fly as hell. If I don't post your comment it's because I think you're stoopit. And over here the only people that matter are the people I trust to comment and little old obvious me.
Hell I know I'm flawed and everyone else knows it too. That said...stay your perfect self away from me. Perfect people and perfectly FLAWED people don't mix.
Stoopit imaginary person: (with a napkin under his chin eating breakfast) I thought you weren't going to say anything else after you sent the rules.
Me: I said I wasn't going to say anything to the person.
Stoopit imaginary person: But isn't that still saying something even if you didn't say it to them?
Me: *sigh* Well...erra...
Stoopit imaginary person: Don't answer that. You're in a good mood...I'm in a good mood. You got anymore of that raisin bread left? I'm still hungry.
Me: Pie's in da pantry.
I just want yall to know that this is NOT how you dress at a crawfish boil. Nobody wears their cute stuff. Jeans and t-shirts folks. Why? CUZ IT'S A CRAWFISH BOIL! And crawfish are juicy and stinky! LOL!
Well...it didn't happen.
We're still child-free.
This month I haven't been on any drugs and have been waiting for a normal cycle. I'm usually 28 days like clockwork. Day 35 I called the doctor's office worried and was told if I didn't start having symptoms in a couple of days to call and they would prescribe something for me to bring it on. *sigh* More drugs. I was also told to stock up on the tylenol because I would need it. They JUST told me this a couple of days ago.
I asked on a fertility forum how long it took for the natural cycle to start for them once they stopped taking drugs. All the times varied but they all had one thing in common to say...IT'S THE WORST CYCLE OF YOUR LIFE.
On Wednesday night, my back started feeling uncomfortable and I was very tired. I went to sleep early and woke up late. My stomach was bloated reminiscent of Lupron days. I had painful ROLLING gas cramps and when I walked I FELT my damn ovaries hurting with each step so I started walking gingerly.
Yesterday I tried to relax. Tried those deep breathing meditative things the yoga instructor and acupuncturist taught me. Nothing worked. I was in so much pain and tried to grin and bear it. I kept taking tylenol but I knew tylenol wasn't gonna be able to fix it.
I have this weird thing about people I see in real life knowing just how bad I'm in pain. Why? Cuz I hate the fuggin pity looks they give me and I HATE being touched and coo-cooed and tisked behind. I don't like being pitied or felt sorry for. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! Sure...I'm prolly lying if I'm saying I'm fine...but dammit...LET ME LIE AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!
Yesterday afternoon a migraine started. Last night the diarrhea joined it right on up till this morning still with bubbling gas cramps which add just a little SOMETHING extra to it. My back feels like I was beat with a baseball bat and I'm in a foul azz mood. THE FOULEST!
Robby keeps saying stuff like...(in sweet placating voice) "You knew it was going to be bad didn't you?" KNOWING IT'S GOING TO BE BAD AND IT ACTUALLY BEING BAD ARE TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT DAMN THINGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Picture your WORST painful cycle. Multiply that by 1,000 and you'll understand why I'm in bed in the fetal position wishing to feel no pain again EVEN IF IT MEANT DEATH.
The worst thing about this shit is that it brings back all the pain of not being able to have a baby. My mind has shifted from what it was not even 36 hours ago. I'm back to brooding, painful thoughts and the deep wrenching earth shattering rip into my heart. THIS SHIT SUCKS.
Even my Robinator...who usually gets me irregardless just doesn't get me this time. I know he just wants me to be better. But for a few days...I just might not be.
Tylenol doesn't work. The doc's office would gladly prescribe something stronger for me if only I get my IN PAIN butt up out of the bed and trek to Georgetown to be seen first. They have no idea that if I showed up...I would be in EXTRA rare form and I'm already their "special-est" patient.
I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT.
I remember sitting in front of the television with my brothers in 1983 watching this like it was yesterday. It was HIGHLY anticipated and we had BEGGED to be able to stay up and watch it.
When ya boy came on and did this performance...WE ABOUT DIED! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO INDEEEEEEEEEEED! The first MOONWALK! Man! This is classic. Absolutely classic.
I asked this question to three of my girlfriends yesterday and I got some very interesting answers so Imma ask yall what you think too.
What do YOU think happened to black people as a whole? How did we come from freedom marches and the civil rights ERA to having "The Flava of Love" being the number one television show in black households?
To quote Diva's grandmother....it's a damn shame that we've come from leaders such as Martin Luther King and Malcolm X to self professed leaders the likes of Al Sharpton and Tom Joyner.
So...tell me. What do YOU think happened to black people?
I had a painful flashback today at Walmart. I was walking down an aisle when I heard a woman say, "Why you gotta be so damn silly all the damn time!" I looked up and saw a mother and daughter. The daughter, previously smiling now crestfallen and the mother absolutely furious.
"Why you gotta be so damn silly all the damn time!"
My mother and I had a good relationship right up until I turned 14. Then it took a turn for the worse and didn't get back on track until I was 18 or so. I know she loved me but I also know she didn't like me that much. I was too skinny, my nose too big, my hair too nappy to be the daughter of a beautiful woman with curves in all the right places and long flowing "Indian" hair. I was too smart at a time when girls were supposed to be pretty. And I was a girl...but the darkest of her children in a place where the color of your skin mattered ESPECIALLY if you were a woman. And my mother was mad.
She was mad that I wasn't the most popular or the prettiest and she tried her best to dress me up and make me be what SHE wanted me to be. She didn't understand my ability to lose time reading and she HATED my lack of care regarding all things a Princess should know.
"Why you gotta be so damn silly all the damn time!"
My mother didn't get me and like most folks...when they don't understand something...they decide it's all wrong. *sigh*
I did everything I could to be better for her. I became a cheerleader when I wasn't a cheerleader type. Fortunately for me...at my high school it was a popularity contest and I always did know how to work a floor. So yes...I would get a spot every year so my mother could tell everyone that her daughter was a cheerleader. Forget that I scored a 26 on my ACT's...I was a cheerleader. Forget the fact that I was offered three full scholarships upon graduating from high school...I WAS A CHEERLEADER!
"Why you gotta be so damn silly all the damn time!"
My mother made me participate in beauty pageants. My father bribed me to do it with a smile. Yes...I won a bunch of them. But only because I was smart enough to figure out the politics.
I have a half sister. My father's daughter. She was ALWAYS pretty and always the most popular girl. She was FINE. Had what the natives called "milk legs," was high yella and talented in everything she touched. I know my mother wished she was her daughter instead of me. How could she not? My mother was perfect and deserved a perfect daughter.
When I was younger she used to comb my hair and tell me how much she always wanted a daughter. She dreamed of a perfect girl in lace and long flowing locks. She got stuck with me. A tomboy with a preference for jeans and a baseball cap.
My father knew this and overcompensated for it. He celebrated my smarts and saw his life glorified through my accomplishments and being the azz he often was...he'd pit my mother and I against each other as often as he could. Not that I knew it at the time...but eventually...I figured it all out.
"Why you gotta be so damn silly all the damn time!"
To everyone else...my mother was beautiful, warm and gracious. To me...she was everything no one else saw and it wasn't all that great sometimes. *sigh*
I just wish she could see that all her work and "lessons" worked on me. I'd love for her to see that I grew into my legs and nose and that although still on the slim side...I've filled out quite nicely. I'd just love to know that, eventually, I got it and she could be proud of the woman I've become...to see the lessons she taught me gel so well with who I am. I'd love her to know I was paying attention instead of being so silly ALL the dang time.
Mothers and daughters seem to have an interesting dichotomy. I know of lots of women with stories like mine. I have always wanted a daughter so I could be different. So I could accept my daughter for who she is and not try to change her into being what I WANT her to be. Who knows...maybe that will happen one day and if it does...I promise to be the loudest champion my daughter has as you...if you are a mother...should be as well.
I looked at that young lady in Walmart today and I smiled at her and winked. She smiled back....small and timidly. We misfits in the eyes of our mother's gotta stick together.
What is YOUR relationship with YOUR mother like? Is it good? Has it always been good? What happened to turn the tide if it wasn't?
I watch this show now purely out of loyalty.
The two hours worth of shows on network tv that depicts black people and black families used to be worth suffering through for "Girlfriends." Now...even with "Everybody Hates Chris" leading the block of time...it's just a mess. The only thing entertaining is "The Game" and only because of Tasha Mack.
"The Game" is promising. It's a story we've heard about but have never really seen up close and personal. I find it interesting to see all the ins and outs behind a football game. Very intriguing. Very. Who knew?
"Girlfriends" has gone downhill so fast and I just can't see how they can pull it off for the rest of the season. I mean...I'm just not that into it. *sigh* I hate that because it started off so well. A good mix of personalities...not much ghetto drama (just Maya) and very good story lines. Ya know...deep...well rounded characters with real issues and depths of character...now...it's just a bunch of hoochie's pretending to have some close "bond" when all they do is fight about crazy stuff and hurt each other.
And they disgusted me with the fake azz Toni moved to New York bit. They INSULTED me. I mean dang. We're not stoopit and yall coulda tried harder. Humph. The only highlight of this show to me is William. That guys delivery is just PERFECT! His character is dead on funny! Well...erra...at least when I'm not thinking of him engaged but not really into being engaged..*sigh*
If I were in friendships with women like the women in THIS SEASON'S "Girlfriends" I would have cussed all of them out by now and moved the heck on. Kinda like Jill Marie Jones did huh? (Even if she is doing alchohol commercials now...I mean hey...it was the principle of the thing...right? RIGHT? I understand Jill...I really, really do.)
SOMEBODY PLEASE SEND ME KELSEY GRAMMER'S EMAIL ADDY! PUHLEEZE!
P.S. By the way...all is well in my world again...the Robinator's back home. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! And me got new FUN earrings! Whoooooohooooooooo!
Note: I hope YOU read this. I didn't respond to your email because I was busy. I also want you to know that I felt your pain and hope that you get some answers soon so you can stop second guessing yourself.
That said, the people who come here are pretty smart and will probably have some good advice for you. Good Luck Chica!
Okay...I'm going to summarize her query because it was kinda long:
Question: What would you do if you suspected your VERY attentive and loving husband was having an affair with a co-worker (I'm confused as to if she works for HIS company or the company he's consulting for) when out of town to the city where he is working on a project? Would you feel like you were invading his privacy if you were to start snooping into his cellphone bills, etc. or would you think it's your right as a wife to do what you gotta do?
It's difficult being me here. Seriously. Significant differences between Northerners and Southerners exist whether it's a popular viewpoint or not and I will argue anyone down who says different. I don't CARE if your parents were from the South...or your grandparents...YOU'RE NOT. And that makes all the difference because you weren't raised in the slow moving heat. You were raised where life moved quicklier.
I'm the kind of person who will open my home to anyone who hasn't done me wrong. Also...I don't have a problem talking about my ish with folks, etc. Why? It's just really not that big of a deal to me. I don't think too much about it. If someone is here...cool. Pie's in da pantry.
I share my life's story for two reasons. One...it helps me. Two...it might help someone else. That's me. No big deal.
I can pretty much talk to anyone and don't turn my nose up at folks. Why? It's not polite and my mother taught me better. Now I might get a few giggles later...cuz hey...I'm stoopit. But the FUNDAMENTAL reason is because I don't think I'm "better" than anyone. Yeah...I've made a few better choices than some folks...but had the wind blown a different direction...I coulda been that person folks turn their noses up at. Because of this...I try my damnedest to respect EVERYONE until they show me they don't deserve my respect.
Being from the South...I never meet a stranger and enjoy chatting with folks from all walks of life. Homeless or mansion owners. Doesn't matter. Why? Cuz it won't affect my going home to my house and it won't interfere with my life at all to be pleasant to folks out and about. I just don't think too much about it. I like to talk to people. Seriously. I learn a lot from people and I find hysterical unintentional humor in lots of situations and yall know ya girl loves to laugh.
Life is too short to think so hard about what someone meant vs. what they said and/or the spirit what was said was given in. Me...I'm a DOER. I DO for people I care for. If I didn't care for you...I wouldn't DO a damn thing for you. Seriously. It's a Southern thing...I know.
(Lauryn Hill looks like a homeless old man in Dave Chappelle's "Block Party" geez. Thanks Monica C for the recommendation! I'm loving the music and LOVED Common leading the prayer circle.)
We Southerner's wear our heart on our sleeves be it for friend or for family...and we don't hold back when we're pissed. You pretty much never have to wonder where you stand with us. Oh...you'll KNOW. Seriously...you'll know. But...unless you went too far...you never need to worry about someone like me cutting you off for good. We can beef respectfully, air out, and move on. If you cross the line that I draw in the sand however...you should stay away from me. It's for the best for everyone involved. Cuz someone is gonna say sumptin someday and the fallout will begin. Left or right. Southern wind or Northern wind.
I don't apologize for being the way I am. I like to sit on my sofa with my computer. I love my friends. I like my music. I love my husband and I live for laughin. To be honest...laughin is what keeps me young looking in my opinion. (Lemme laugh right quick!) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Now I know some Northerners who can deal with this...but not many. I think it's because their lives have always been more "active" than ours. They are movers and shakers...and we take it light. And me...I take it even lighter than most. I CHILL...bring it waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down. And this is me...all or nothing at all.
The differences between Northerners and Southerners I KNOW doesn't mean one way of life is better than the other. It's just DIFFERENT. The differences make it fun. If you're a Northerner and find this in anyway offensive...don't think so much about it and you'll see it for what it is cuz when you start popping off at the fuggin mouf...the fun stops.
To quote Lil Wayne in "Shooter": "But this is Southern face it...if we too simple then yall don't get the basics."
CreoleInDC...as simple as simple can get.
Music that's in my head: Randy Crawford "Cajun Moon"
I'm sitting in traffic today...bored as hell listening to Robin Thicke and Lil' Wayne's "Oh Shooter" not really paying much attention until this truck pulls up in front of me:
Now, of course, I'm like...WHADAHELZ? So I GOTTA get on side of this truck so I can see if they have anything else on the truck. They did:
Now you KNOW I'm dying laughing right. And I can't wait to get home so I can go to the website. Well...the website doesn't work so it probably means RJT Industries knows about the truck and site and threw some money at the problem. And now I'm mad but laughing mad cuz I can't find out what RJT did to piss off this guy to the point of turning his truck into a moving billboard about them. A hot rickety raw mess. Just a mess! ROFL!
Had there been a phone number I would have called just to see what the beef was. Dang! Humph!
First off to get there it was either drive or take the Green line...which I don't do. So drive I did...and get lost I did. How do people drive in the city? I have no idea. Humph.
So I finally get to where my mail says I'm sposed to be. Ding, dong. No answer. Hmmmmmm. Ding, dong. No answer.
Whip out the cell:
Lesley: Monica...where are you?
Me: In front of the building...but this look like somebody's house and I'm ringing the doorbell and ish.
Lesley: I'm on the 1200 block right up the street. Lemme call the lady.
So...basically I was bout to get shot knocking on somebody's door like the police...all to fight poverty.
When we finally get in front of the building we're sposed to be in front of (email had typo)...nobody there. The chick on the phone said "Michael should be there." Ummmmmm...Michael wasn't there.
So we wait.
I pick fun at Lesley for wearing jazzy boots to volunteer.
Lesley tells me how much she hates me.
A taxi pulls up and two dudes get out. They looked like fashion dudes. :) I crack a few jokes and we get in and do what we do.
Now, of course, we laughed our azzes off cuz...well...yall know I'm stoopit. The only thing I wasn't joking about was when I asked could I get two tickets for me and Shelly since I can't volunteer the night of the show since Shelly's gonna be here and I can't very well ask her to volunteer with me so I can go nor can I ask her to buy a dang ticket either. (Tickets cost about a hunnert and eighty dollas). Nobody gave me no tickets. Punks. LOL!
But N E Way! Voluteering was a good thing to do besides spending my day shopping so I felt good. If yall got an extra hunnert and eight dollas hanging around yall should go...it's a big deal. Next year I hope to actually go to the show.
I have a weakness for Nicole Miller dresses. They really and truly fit me super well and make me feel totally glamourous! I always check out what she's putting out there and I almost DIED when I saw this one! Whoooooooohoooooooooo!
I need to be rich. *sigh*
Dear Nicole Miller:
If you need someone to wear your clothes for free..I'd wear em with a tag on em to the Wal-Mart...holla atcha girl!
I told yall I'm taking guitar lessons right? Well, they almost came to a halt today after my instructor, Matt, informed me that I needed to cut the nails on my left hand fingers. RRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUU? SAY IT AIN'T SO! Nobody said nuttin about cutting my nails! HUMPH!
I got my guitar today. It's a Yamaha...whatever that means.
I learned how to tune it today (with a tuner) and how to position my fingers so I could play the basic notes. This is gonna be special. LOL!
My instructor is this guy named Matt. Whereas Matt is acoustically gifted...he's technically challenged obviously because the two pics he took of me "playing" weren't on my camera when I got home..but the video I took of hi worked just fine.
I hate it when Robby's not home. I find myself pulling into myself.
He's gone to play golf with his father. He won't be home until Monday. I hate it when it's too quiet and it's always too quiet without him.
I hate sleeping without him. I can't get comfortable...so I don't sleep well.
I hate cooking when he's not home...no one else to appreciate it...so I don't. I eat fruit salad.
I guess I just don't like it when we're not together. I always feel like I'm slipping.
I miss my husband and I hate being alone in our home without him.
Gallaudet University's students have been protesting for a couple of weeks now calling for the resignation of the incoming school president. Gallaudet is a university for the deaf and hearing impared.
Stoopit Imaginary Person: That's the quietest protest I've ever seen.
Stoopit Imaginary Person: What? I'm just saying!
Me: You ain't right.
...is that you can watch the whole show for a whole hour...and yet...feel like only ten minutes went by cuz you're just so wrapped up in it.
They just keep messin with us man. How is it this show can continue having me yelling at the screen? WHAT'S WITH THE DANG TONKA TRUCK? Geez!
I'm not good at letting certain kinds of people be a good friend to me. Does that sound weird? I know it does. Lemme give you a for instance.
When I'm dealing with something particularly difficult (say a failed IUI/IVF attempt) I write about it and then I kinda pull in to myself. I don't answer the phone and I don't do a lot of communicating about it. My friends who REALLY know and REALLY love me know this has nothing to do with them and they know that when I finally do start talking again...if I want to talk about it cool...but most likely I won't. Now that's not to say I'm not there for my friends when they are hurting...I respect whatever way they grieve...be it with me being around or with me staying away. Whatever way they need me...that's what they get from me.
Now I know this is probaby kinda selfish but you have to know where this comes from. Ya see...I'm a dude chick.
What's a dude chick you ask?
Well...a dude chick is a chick who isn't all mushy and, for the most part, shows emotions like a guy. Which is why all of my friends for a long time were only guys. Guys are loyal. They don't do any of that backstabbing two faced crap with each other. They will be friends forever.
Have you ever watched guys hang with each other having a good time without any women around? It's pretty rough. They tease the HELL outta each other. If you're a girly chick...you might sit on the edge of your seat waiting for the blows to start cuz Ray-Ray just talked about Junebug's mama. Or Chuck just told Chip he was whipped and teased him about a specific "whipped" incident. But then...nothing. Why? Cuz they were joking around and everyone knows they are just teasing each other. No gets all bent outta shape. Why? Cuz they know if Ray-Ray needed something tomorrow...Junebug would be the FIRST person to be there...and vice versa. It's about loyalty. You know...actions speak louder than words. What you DO versus what you SAY. Hmmmmmmm. Interesting huh?
My girl Shelly is the only TRUE dude chick I know(how I met her is a whole nutter story by the way..lol) and we clicked straight away. If we don't agree on something...fine. We don't agree. We don't bite our tongue with each other. The one time we did fall out...I called her mama. LOL! Needless to say...we're friends for the long haul (can't wait to see you next weekend! Whoooooohoooooooo!) and if ANYTHING ever happened to her...I'd be on the quickest flight out to New Orleans with a bat and a flashlight if need be. Seriously.
Since Shelly...I've met one other dude chick and that's Lesley. I met her through her cousin, another friend of mine. Lesley regularly tells me she hates me and that I'm an azz. Awwwwwwwww...dude chick love. Dontcha love it?
I've had/have some girly chicks in my life that I love so I'm pretty well balanced but I can never truly be myself with them for fear they will take it the wrong way and think my being me was a personal attack on them. It goes back to the differences between male relationships vs. female relationships. Dudes just don't have time to think and re-think every single thing someone said to them. Dudes also know that their boy has their back. 24/7. That's a good thing. Would you rather someone who had your back 24/7 and who genuinely cared about you or someone who never teased you? Pickle in a podcast.
If I don't like you...you pretty much know it. How? I don't say shit to you. I stay away from you. Why? I consider you beneath me. I do NOT, under ANY circumstances allow people I don't care for anywhere in my personal space. I feel uncomfortable around people I don't care for and it shows all across my face and in my body language. I'm taunt and aware. I'm focused and it's really hard for me to lie about my feelings even though sometimes I do just to get outta there. Which is why I usually drive everywhere I go...so I can leave when I want to...just in case.
Stoopit Imaginary Person: Damn...you lie...your rich Uncle steals nail clippers from Circle K... Man...you people are screwed up.
Me: What the hell I told you bout telling folks bout my Uncle?
Stoopit Imaginary Person: Ummm...that if I said something else about him you'd bathe me in gas and put me in your burnt up oven?
Me: So you remember. AND WHY YOU GOTTA BRING UP THE DAMN OVEN EVERY FIVE DANG MINUTES?
Stoopit Imaginary Person: We should sign a contract of love and gentleness.
Stoopit Imaginary Person: Monnie and SIP sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g....
Me: Who the hell is SIP?
Stoopit Imaginary Person: Me! Stoopit Imaginary Person. S-I-P!
Me: That's it. OUT! NOW DAMMIT! OUT!
There are only four people in this entire world I have let see me weak in real life. My surrogate parents, Cojoe...and the Robinator. They are the only people that have seen Monnie at her absolute most broke downest. My "mom and dad" TRIED to comfort me. The Robinator COMFORTED me and kept me safe. He's the only person I TRULY trust to keep me safe. From what? Anything.
Cojoe? Well...his azz is always with me during the bad times rather I choose to have him close or at arms length...and then...just when I am feeling like myself again...he throws the mess in my face and laughs at me about it. LOL! Punk azz punk. What do I do? I laugh with him and talk about his mama. Ahhhhhhhh...dude /dude chick love.
Gotta love it.
...why don't you have it?
I'm serious...why don't you? Where is your motivation for getting what you really want?
I've always been told that I could have anything I want if I worked hard for it so does that mean I don't really want what I really want? I'm not afraid of hard work ya know.
What do YOU want? And if you don't have it already...what's holding you back?
Is it fear of failure?
Are you comfortable and don't want to take chances?
Do you think you don't have the resources necessary?
Or...do you not want it bad enough?
It takes patience to realize a dream. Patience is something I have never had enough of.
Stoopit imaginary person: You gonna tell them about the movie?
Me: I don't feel like being laughed at tonight can't you tell?
Stoopit imaginary person: Well I'm sorry...but I'm still chuckling on the inside even though you bound me to the sofa with duct tape after you picked me up off the floor when I fell out laughing.
Me: Your mouth is next dude.
Stoopit imaginary person: Good times man...good times.
My husband has patience. He's a goal setter and writes down short term as well as long term goals. Then...he thinks on it..comes up with a plan and he executes the plan. I admire and ENVY his ability to focus, be patient and follow his plan. To realize his dreams. He's a success now and I have no doubt that one day he's going to be VERY successful.
Will I always just be Robby's wife? Is there anything I want more? Will I always walk around feeling as if I'm not living the life I should and could be living? I feel like an alien sometimes. Like I'm having an out of body experience. Like all I'm doing is waking up, being robotic and then going to bed to sleep and do it all again tomorrow.
Maybe I don't want it bad enough. Maybe I'm too scared to try. Maybe my life is just as it is. A woman...too scared to go too far...too comfortable...not hungry enough to have what I think I want.
So I have an online friend I was speaking to and she is miserable in her current position. She says that she's tried applying for other positions in her company to no avail and it's because of her weight that she hasn't been promoted even though she's a very good employee and very good at her job.
Well...she wasn't hearing it and we went back and forth for a while and to be honest...I just dismissed her problem as all in her head.
Well...late last night I started looking up obesity discrimination cases and I was SHOCKED at what I found and, it seems as if my online friend does have a very real issue. Now I don't know what size she is but I'm assuming she considers herself to be obese for this form of discrimination to affect her.
Then I started thinking about all of the things that are "issues" with people that we don't even think about just because we are not affected by the same issues. It was so easy for me to dismiss this as something all in her head because it's something I, myself, never dealt with. Hmmmmmm. It just proves to me that even if we consider ourselves compassionate "thinkers," really and truly...we live in our own damn bubbles.
My issues, although VERY real to me, can be brushed off by someone else and vice versa. How, in fact, does one rise to the level of tolerance necessary when we can't empathize because we've never been in each others shoes?
It's like white people who think racism doesn't exist. I've always wondered how it is they could so vehemently deny that which is seen everyday by others...it's because of this. They have never been in the shoes of someone discriminated against so it's hard for them to empathize. Hmmmmmmmmm. Interesting. So basically...they dismiss racism just as I initially dismissed this as an issue for my friend.
Whew. Well...I said that to say to my friend I'm sorry. I apologize for not understanding what you were feeling and I promise I won't make light of your issue again.
For those of you not in the know about this issue as I was...this is a VERY informative article: "Sizing Up Weight Based Discrimination"
Chica...you need to get a lawyer!
It wasn't until that exact moment that I realized just how AWFUL I felt being on constant drugs for six whole months. Wow. I had absolutely no pain anywhere on/in my body and I can not even BEGIN to tell you just how amazing that felt. And then I started thinking how we never really just celebrate feeling good and we only really focus on our body when something is outta whack and we are hurting.
That said, God, thank You so very much for waking me this morning with a smile on my face. Thank You for the ability to take a deep, cleansing breath without flinching and thank You so very much for helping me realize that blessing this morning.
I'm on the verge of something big. My life is about to take on a new dimension. I can feel it and I can't wait. I don't know what it is just yet (well...I kinda do but nothing is solidified yet) and I don't know the exact direction...but I'm going to have fun going along for the ride. Expect BIG, FABULOUS news from me soon. :)
To all of yall who actually answer me when I'm questioning myself...thank you so much. It means so much to me that when I ask for advice I have so many different positive perspectives to look at it from. I mean yeah...I know...I have good sense and prolly coulda figured it out on my own...but it cuts out the second guessing when other FABULOUS people chime in. That's some powerful ish. With yall...I know the moves I'm making will be for the best. Yesssssssssssir!
Question for the day. Are you the type of person that asks for advice when dealing with issues or do you hold your own counsel? Why or why not?
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
IT'S AN EPIDEMIC! FEAR THE BLACK MAN! NO GOOD BLACK MEN ARE EVERYWHERE! THEY ARE THE REASON BLACK WOMEN ARE MISERABLY SINGLE AND ANGRY! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!
That's how I feel about this mess. Humph.
Just finished having this convo with Shelly, Lesley and Diva and I KNOW we are not alone:
Muse: somebody just sent me a liNK TO A DOCUMENTARY about single black women....i'm getting tired of all this
of course it goes into the dl thing
CreoleInDC: people making this ish out to be too serious bruh
and i know that's easy for me to say cuz of robby
Muse: is it just all propoganda to discourage people?
CreoleInDC: but i truly feel like it
CreoleInDC: i don't know
Muse: it's too much
CreoleInDC: but it's like....being BOMBARDED with it
Muse: i know lots of good black men
CreoleInDC: THANK YOU
Muse: just not one for me YET!
the word is yet!
it's called soulmate
CreoleInDC: THANK YOU! gotdammit you bout to make me SHOUT up in here
I'm just sick of it
black women feeling sorry for themselves
black men are STILL THE DEMONS AS ALWAYS!
katt williams said it all "if you dating losers....maybe it's not them!"
M and C are both good dudes, just not for me at this point and time
simplydiva: oh lord
folks are killing me with the "black men ain't ish" movement
i'm soooooooooooooooooooo sick of it
simplydiva: i could feel the article that talked about women outnumbering men
what's the purpose?
to create some sort of mass man hunt?
we know we're single
we don't need the ny times feeding into the hype
CreoleInDC: too late
simplydiva: now granted....i don't know any men personally that i'd fix a woman up with....that does't mean that all black men suck
and you know what else i'm sick of
these trifling women running around spouting that off
CreoleInDC: THANK YOU
simplydiva: how many of them even have something to offer a man
CreoleInDC: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
simplydiva: all that damn complaining
don't nobody wanna hear that
Muse: sigh sigh sigh...
CreoleInDC: so why is it that everybody I know is sick of this
but we still keep hearing it
Muse: cause we intelligent, but the less informed people feed into it
simplydiva: and i've seen the women they interview and i don't know if they're just getting off of work or what, but they could have fixed themselves up a little better
and even then a person still has to be open minded
instead of closing one eye until the "perfect" man comes along
cause the term "good man" is subjective
it's different for everybody
Muse: this is what i got sent: you can read the site http://www.soulmatefilm.com/thetrailer.htm
simplydiva: your boy eclectik did a post today about women being more picky than men
i was all fired up and ready to argue his point but hell he described some of my frieds
i have a homegirl that won't even comb her damn hair on a daily basis and always talking about what a man HAS to do to be with her
trick..............you got some nerve. you won't even fix yourself up so he can take you for a nice evening and you want him jumping through hoops
then complaining about can't get a man
and wanna call me talking about "i read this article that says only 43% of black women blah blah blah"
give em a damn break
i try not to get into the argument with folks
cuz the next thing you know someone is gonna call me a hypocrite because of robby
and imma start throwing bows
simplydiva: ok.....you just opened a door
CreoleInDC: i wrote something on this a couple of months ago
when the washington post thing hit
but i ain't say nuttin
simplydiva: if i hear one more woman tell me how she wants to marry a black man followed by some lame ass excuse i swear i'mma choke the shyt outta her
CreoleInDC: cuz i ain't wanna beat the hell outta nobody
people just dumb...plain and simple
Lesley: i wouldn't blame u if you beat somebody
CreoleInDC: cuz i'm serious
these heffas be trifling
AND THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO TREAT A DAMN MAN
so why in the HELL would a GOOD man who could get a woman to treat him right
deal with your crazy azz
but it's HIS fault
Now...pontificate shall we?
Diva and I have started a tradition. We watch "Desperate Housewives" and "Grey's Anatomy" while on instant messenger together and we commentate. It's usually pretty hilarious but you won't get it unless you watched the show.
If you did watch DH tonight...here's our take on it:
simplydiva: i'm here
Monica: bout time woman
simplydiva: shut up
i have a life
Monica: well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me
simplydiva: that ho is selling his stuff
i want them to get back together
Monica: Humph...think i woudn't?
carlos is the finest thing on this show
Monica: why is the doc telling her all his business?
simplydiva: this is so true
why is she so damn scandalous
she irks me
Monica: me too hell
simplydiva: this heffa is about to bribe this little boy
simplydiva: this lil boy can't hit a ball to save his life
Monica: oh crap
this ho said drama camp
HOW ARE THEY HAVING THIS DISCUSSION SO CALMLY
i am dying
Monica: A COCOA
Monica: TOO MUCH!
THIS DUDE IS FUNNY
simplydiva: "it's clearly not the only team he plays for"
Monica: those are some bad azz chairs
PEED IN THE SHAMPOO!
Monica: LOVING THAT DAMN TOP!
this hooka here
she is SUCH a hobag
simplydiva: i'm sick of her azz too
Monica: her hair is awful
all stringy and ish
she needs extensions
simplydiva: and it's like that all the time
i'm going to get tired of this story line real soon
i can see it now
Monica: LOVE her
Monica: she's going to jail
i love me some gabby
simplydiva: this ho wanna get cut
always trying to do "the right thing"
Monica: this heffa pouring more tea
simplydiva: awwww ish
Monica: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ISH
simplydiva: I shoulda brought some biscuits with that!
Monica: I'M ABOUT TO CATCH A FIT OVA HERE
Monica: girl...15 minutes left
i hope they just focus on gabby and bri
i'm tied of the other two story lines
simplydiva: cause susan is working my DAMN NERVES
Monica: ya girl needs to put her non working azz husband out
and that scheming heffa needs to get shot by someone trying to kill mike
he's a quitter
his azz woulda got out when he showed up with a damn 12 year old
Monica: RUN BOY RUN!
WHY HE AIN'T RUNNIN!
HE HIT THE DANG BALL!
that's a shame
i love it
Monica: they need to make up hell
simplydiva: girl i would take carlos any time of day
Monica: they are a gorgeous family
they have GOT to work it out
Monica: oh crap
he's gonna kill her and bury her azz
simplydiva: why does she have to be such a triflin ho
Monica: on side of the road
idda put her azz out too
Monica: if looks could kill
simplydiva: it's over
Monica: she'd be dead
call the police
simplydiva: her daughter is such a ho
he's being so much nicer to her
simplydiva: cause his azz was on the damn street
homelessness will soften your azz up
Monica: that'll change your attitude with a swiftness huh?
that's a bad azz bag that hooka has
simplydiva: azz whooping
another azz whooping
simplydiva: and a third azz whooping
Monica: DID YOU SEE THAT?
CARLOS HAD A WOMAN IN THE TUB
just when i say i'm gonna stop watching...they do something else fiya with gabby and carlos
simplydiva: and why does carlos act like gabby's not hood
she will beat that ho down
if she'll beat down a nun.....she'll beat down a ho
Monica: ain't that the truf
she threatened to deport the damn surrogate
now THAT was cold
Do you know what this dish is?
Well, Shelly's mama called her this morning and told her to come for dinner because she'd made smothered okra and the SECOND Shelly said it...my mouf started watering for some as I haven't had it in a long time. Smothered okra is actually my favorite meal my grandmother makes for me and whenever I'm going home, if I know I'm going to have time...I ask her to make me some.
Okra is one of the most hated veggies I find. People will cut the fool telling you how much they hate slimy okra. People from the South know that they weren't eating okra prepared properly if it was "slimy."
"Ya gotta cook the slime out." As my grandmother would say and yes..that is an actual term we use for preparing okra. Ask anyone down South if they know what cooking the slime out means and they will say yup.
Because of this...ya can't just eat anyoldbodies okra. LOL!
Like most of my dishes from home...I don't have a recipe per se...so I just cook it from memory and taste. Since I know at least ONE hooka that's gonna hound me for the recipe...
SMOTHERED OKRA AND TOMATOES
SEASON AND Brown chicken wings and sausage in large bottom pot. in ANOTHER skillet, saute onions, bell pepper, garlic, bay leaves, thyme and celery in olive oil until soft. Add to pot with tomatoes and chicken broth. Season to taste. In same skillet, put in olive oil (my grandmother only uses veggie oil for this step) and add rinsed okra (rinse them ESPECIALLY if they are frozen). Start stirring constantly. Add about a teaspoon of vinegar to help cook out the slime. You can also use tomatoes (the acid cuts the slime). When all the slime is cooked out...add to pot. Cover and cook on low heat for 1.5 hours. Serve over brown rice. Enjoy!
Oops...forgot about the skrimps. Add them when there is only twenty minutes left in the cooking time.
I've noticed most bloggers don't blog on the weekends. I asked Diva why not and she said people have lives on the weekends. LOL! O...kay. So...do I not have a life? Pontificate shall we?
Isha has a funny going on over at her blog: Anatomy of the Black Funeral. I've been cracking up. Start with part one. I think you'll find it amusing in a bittersweet kinda way as I did.
I have a girlfriend whose hair broke off where she ties her scarf knot at night. I tie mine in the front middle and have noticed some breakage too. Well I was on a hair board today and was intrigued by this chick who said she wrapped her hair tightly with her scarf but instead of tying it...she covers it with a stocking cap. So...no knot needed. Hmmmmmmm. That might be the best damn hair tip I've ever received right up there with sealing in moisture on my ends with sweet almond oil.
P.S. Am I the only person I know addicted to Biore nose strips?
When I went fishing on Thursday, I saw some pretty FABULOUS boats and it started me to thinking how much boats cost cuz I honestly had no idea. Well...boats cost A LOT!
Check this one out:
Guess how much it costs. I'll wait. Doody doody do.
Okay...so no one needs 94' right? Let's look at something smaller:
So how's about much smaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaller!
The moral of this story is if you ever meet someone who owns a yacht...no matter what size...just call his azz BOSSMAN! ROFL!
Get my eyebrows threaded instead of waxed or plucked. Well...a couple of reasons. First it's because I'm allergic to the wax and always end up looking like I have puffy lips on top and bottom of my eyebrows looking a hot dang mess.
Second...I don't like my eyebrows to be thin. I like them to look as natural as possible. Like they could have grown that way.
Third...plucking hurts. LOL!
Now yes...threadin hurts too but the end result is far better to me than plucking.
Where I go costs $15 and usually takes about 15 minutes. If you're in the area and want her info...holla atcha girl.
I'm not a big drinker of liquor. Yes I drink wine...but liquor is kinda outta my league.
When I was home this past July, my sister took me to this place called Champs and introduced me to the Caramel Apple Martini. I'd never heard of such a thing and I was skeptical (cuz she doesn't drink either so what does she know).
Well baaaaaaaaaaaaaaby...IT. WAS. GOOD! So good that when I returned home, I bought some caramel, green apple martini mix and vodka. But...since I was on IVF meds...I wasn't able to try one. But now. Yessssssssssssssir! Me DOING-T IT!
Step 1: Assemble "tools." LOL!
Step 2: Put caramel inside of the bottom of the glass.
Step 3: "Decorate" inside of glass with caramel. (Go nuts! It's CARAMEL!)
Step 4: Mix martini according to directions on mix into a martini shaker.
Step 5: Shake. LOL!
Step 6: Pour into glass (I prolly shoulda put the glass in he fridge so the caramel could have hardened up...but hey...I can't be doing all that when I'm about to post up and enjoy...lol!).
Step 7: ENJOY!!!!!
The only four people in the DC Metro area to NOT attend Howard's Homecoming (do I know how to pick a date or what??? LOL!) got together today for lunch at P.F. Chang's.
We laughed and passed out lipstick and FABU nail polish tips (Check out MAC's the MAC lip glosses: Beaux, Factory Made and Desire and Revlon's nail polish in Violet Surge...FABULOUS!).
Food was good and everything was pretty cool cept when I tried to charge Lesley $10 extra dollars (I carried the one...ROFL!) for her meal. Since she was still laughin at me regarding the damn kitchen fire...I shoulda been due extra dollars. LOL!. And why her short behind was DOING-IT in super fiya boots! Aiight now!
I can't tell yall how much I love kicking it with cool, down-to-earth people. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT! We have a good idea in the works regarding something you guys might be interested in doing. I'll let you know once we work it all out.
Toni Morrison's "The Bluest Eye" has been adapted into a play that is showing in at the H Street Theatre here in DC. I just bought tickets to go...looks like it's going to be a good show. If you're looking for something cool to do in the city...maybe you should check it out too as the ticket costs are VERY reasonable.