This chick asked me once if she was ugly. I paused cuz that just ain't the kind of question you ask someone. I mean...that's putting someone in a VERY uncomfortable position. Would you REALLY tell someone you thought they were ugly even if you did? I hope the answer to that is no. Cuz that would be some mean ish to do. If you can't say anything nice...change the subject.
AND...what is ugly anyway? I mean...beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that ish right? But...I think beauty is comprised of so many other things as well to include your style, your swagger, your maintenance, your INSIDE.
So much of what we think we consider beautiful has been contrived by the media and shoved down our throats as yall well know. Big girls are always spoken of in exceptions if being talked about by people who aren't big people, "She's big but she has a pretty face. She'd be beautiful if she lost that weight." I have an Aunt like this...folks have always said she'd look so much better if she lost weight and sometimes even to her face. Consequently she hugged food closer to her and ballooned. Do I think she's beautiful? I've always have. Always.
Skinny women with horse faces have been lauded as being beautiful and a lot of folks swallow that ish. No curves, no butt...rib cage and collar bones showing. That ish is NOT cute and is...quite honestly...UGLY.
I always compliment people on their skin. I think good, healthy skin makes a person just GLOW and is why I don't mess around with mine and take extra special care of it. And their smile. I love seeing a person with a big, beautiful smile...or a great laugh. You know...the person who throws their head back and laughs with all of them like my daddy used to do. That infectious laugh that makes everything funnier. LOL!
The most important factor, I think, is what you're like inside. If you're ugly inside, you're going to be ugly outside no matter what you actually LOOK like and that's the honest truth.
Back to the chick who flat out asked me. Did I think she was ugly? I told her no and moved on. Was it a white lie? That's not important.
I could have said something else. I could have pointed out that she has ugly WAYS...and I could have pointed out that when folks go on and on talking about how they look...it's usually a sign that they are insecure about their looks...but I didn't. My mother taught me better.
I know I pick and choose which of my mother's lessons I will Invoke at any given time but I don't think I will ever pass on the one that says you should never hurt someone's feelings intentionally that you claim you care about.
Would you answer this question from someone? Has anyone ever put you in this position? What do YOU think makes a person ugly? What makes a person beautiful? IN YOUR OPINION.
