...and I have half a caldron of candy left. Sure...I prolly bought waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more candy than I needed...but I thought I'd at least go through ONE CALDRON. *sigh*
I love Halloween soooooooo much! Why? Cuz my neighbors and I stand outside and laugh and have a GREAT time and the kids are soooooooooooo cute! I take pics of the cutest kids with their parents permission of course. Yall...those kids are sooooooooooooooo adorable!
From Tanyetta: DJ
From Shelly: She went to three Halloween parties this past weekend dressed as the Voodoo Priestess from "Pirates of the Carribbean." One dude told her, "Next year...just dress sexy." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Nothing makes me go ape ish quicker than folks down on love and marriage. Why? Because it's a natural progression of life and some folks are being UN-natural in their thoughts on it.
I was talking to someone recently about love. It was a guy and he's note too keen on marriage. He's young...fresh outta grad school, handsome and has a good head on his shoulders. He comes from a great family but was raised by his single mother who divorced his father when he was a baby.
AND HE WAS TREATED LIKE A KING WHO COULD DO NO WRONG.
Now I'm not saying, of course, that parent's shouldn't love the HELL outta their sons...but parent's really need to listen to what they are putting into their children's head.
See...this guy's father never remarried but always had a woman. The son saw this all the time and he saw his mother solo ALL.THE.TIME. She didn't date...never even considered it. She put all of her energy into raising her son.
And he's screwed up in the head.
So we were talking about the young ladies he's been seeing and he has reasons why none of them are what he's looking for. And I saw the truth. He's looking for a woman like his mother...who will put him above and beyond EVERYTHING and the women he's meeting actually have A LIFE.
So basically...his expectations probably won't be met and he's probably going to end up either lonely or settling and the person he ends up being with will probably have to pretend to be something she's not to get him to show interest. Or something like that. Hell I confused my own dang self.
This kid has already broken a lot of hearts...and I'm very worried that he's going to keep on damaging women in his wake. *sigh*
Single mother's...I hope you're not doing this to your children. Children need to see you with a LIFE. They need to see you LIVING. Cuz if they don't...their expectations are going to RUIN it for them.
I said what I was drawn to say to him and left it alone. He's young and dumb and hopefully will wisen up with age. With his father as a role model however...I doubt it.
Yall know anybody with the wrong expectation of LOVE?
She has RUINED Halloween for me! RUINED IT I TELL YA! I have been waiting with anticipation to see the kid on the duck and she RUINS it for me! HUMPH!
Imma stab her.
Ok, here's the deal. I'm at this trunk or treat event last night.
Everything's going great, I'm walking DJ trunk to trunk to get treats and then..............
I saw this!
You know I had to get this photo.
I asked the kid the name of his costume and he said:
I'm a little person on a duck<<<<<<<<<<<<yes, he said little person on a duck!
I snapped the photo (check out DJ's face like he didn't even want to be seen with the kid) LOL
After I snapped the photo, I said--"no, you're a midget on a duck" then I ran!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please! check out my latest blog entry:
Dang, that's messed up. Come on, now. I am a Black American Muslim convert and I wear the niqab. Nobody forced me to but my religion is my heart and soul. Y'all should know that making fun of stuff like this will hit somebody's sore spot. Even if you don't know me I'm out here and I read your blogs because I think you carry yourselves well. Take care.
Posted by: Nakia C | October 31, 2007 at 02:17 AM
Hola Chica, how are you? Lemme introduce myself. Wait...might not be necessary since you had to type in my NAME to get to the site huh?
Sweetie...it was funny. It was. Seriously. To quote Sissy..."Two drops of pee" funny. Now...one thing I have learned about life is that it's much easier when you can laugh at yourself and I do this CONSTANTLY. Another thing I've learned is that folks can find some way to take offense to damn near ANYTHING. Hell...when the kid comes by tonight to Trick or Treat and is wearing the costume of a midget riding a duck...oh..BE CERTAIN that I'm posting that and if any little people read the site...well...according to how comfortable and confident they are with their own skin...they just might be offended. Am I still gonna post it knowing this? HELL.YEAH! (Do yall believe in Hell? Hmmmmm...don't know.)
Remember the Dave Chapelle show. That ish was OFFENSIVE! Was it funny? HELL YEAH! Lemme holla, holla, holla, holla!
N E Way. Basically what I'm saying is...lighten up. It ain't bout you. We have a very good "friend" who is a Black American Muslim, foreverloyal, you should touch bases with her. I'm sure she'll tell you Weezy wasn't attacking your faith. Why? She's comfortable in her skin, burka, niqab.
Be confident with your ish and it doesn't matter WHAT anyone says or does. TRUST.
Oh...and for the record...I carry myself SO well...that I make a TOUCHDOWN everytime I enter a room. Watch...walk, walk, walk....TOUCHDOWN! :)
Stay out my inbox. Seriously. Humph. I clicked on that dang link you sent me of the sale bags and none of them made me go...hmmmmmm...so OF COURSE...I poked around a bit and ran into this bag that I've been hiding from for a month now. *sigh*
Why is she sharing her password? I quickly learned to password protect my email account when my 10 year old got in and deleted messages from his teacher.
Your kids ever do anything like that? Did YOU?
I remember forging my mother's signature on a letter telling her I was punished two days in a row for excessive talking. WHEW! She.beat.my.butt! Then I heard her on the phone laughing about it. ROFL! Talking bout my lil 6 year old scribble looked NOTHING like her signature. A mess!
When I'm traveling with the Robinator (or the two times a year we are shopping together) he always tells me "Do NOT make eye contact!" LOL! Why? Because, as yall know, people like to talk to me and just go to town with it. Me...I don't mind...the Robinator...he's always amazed at how much of their business strangers will share with me and gets annoyed. LOL!
Since I know this about myself...when I'm in a hurry...I don't make eye contact with anyone. (Also works with people passing out flyers I've found...don't look up and you didn't "see" them...get it?????"
Saturday, I was out shopping with Lola Granola and my Mother in law. (She needs a name doesn't she? Hmmmmmmmmm....Lemme think...doody...doody...do...We'll call her Ms. Pie, as in...sweet as...)
Okay...lemme repeat that...
Saturday, I was out shopping with Lola Granola and Ms. Pie and we were under time restrictions because we had rezzies for 6:00 because we wanted to watch the sunset from the restaurant (yall gotta go to the Comus Inn if you live in the area...FABULOUS!) so that meant we needed to head back to the crib by 4:00 so we could get ready.
Lola Granola and I were looking at bags and wraps (of which she DEF bought a bag and I DEF bought a wrap) and Ms. Pie roamed off to look at shoes.
When we got to shoes she was in FULL convo with this lady.
Ms. Pie (to me): THERE she is! I told her you'd help her find some shoes!
oneblackman (edited by Monnie): You know, just when you think people can’t get any dumber, some bozo goes for the world record. My boy Leon sent me this picture of some dude having a jolly time making fun of the Virginia Tech Tragedy. (OK, John Gibson, O'Reilly and your pitbull women sidekicks - all together now - lets raise some hell!)
Monnie: It never fails to amaze me when folks think stuff like this is funny. I mean...it's like...you have to be HEARTLESS to think this is amusing right? This hurts my heart. Sheesh.
How does this make YOU feel?
Nothing says Fall is here like cord skirts, tall boots and a turtleneck! Hee-hee! Guess what I'M wearing today? (Just gotta decide on which color boots and then I can pick a fit!)
Have you rocked a Fall fit yet? What was it?
Personalized note cards are the HotNESS! These are the ones I use and I always buy them on sale as they are now. Order you some and make it a practice to drop a handwritten note off to someone for no reason other than to make them smile!
The day after Halloween on my household calendar is always chock full of stuff to do.
1. It's the Robinator's birthday.
2. It's the day I start planning my Thanksgiving menu.
3. It's the day I start going through my addresses to make sure I have what I need for HOLIDAY CARDS! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(P.S. If I don't have your addy or you've moved since last year...PLEASE send me addy! Oh...and PLEASE put ADDRESS in the subject of your email!)
Oh yeah...that skipping Christmas idea? Not gonna happen. I damn near got death threats from family members. Sheesh...who knew? ROFL!
Oh yeah...I'm getting a P.O. Box this December so I can get cards from yall! Why? Cuz I LOOOOOOOOOVE a beautiful card and I know yall got some MAD CARD PICKING FLAVA! Get your address lists together and start looking for FAB-U-LOUS cards! Our card this year is going to be AWESOME!
And yup...I'm posted the cards me get so PLEASE...when you send them to me...INCLUDE YOUR SCREEN NAME! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
But this is funny!
I got an email from a chica asking me to post for yall to advise her. I hadn't read the email yet but I got an email on the stoopit phone FROM THE DUDE SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT!
So, of COURSE, when I got back to the puter I looked for her email and yup...the way she'd posed the question to yall made it seem like old boy was a skrait butt wipe...and his email was like...DON'T BELIEVE NOTHING SHE SAY...SHE'S THIS...SHE'S THAT...SHE'S THIS...SHE'S THAT....AND I BET SHE DIDN'T TELL YOU THIS!
Now...I was initially shocked...but then I started cracking the hell up laughing thinking about how he found out she'd sent the email and how he was pissed enough to reply to defend himself.
Aiight folks...when you're going through some thangs...re-set your passwords please...ROFL! AND...don't misrepresent yourself when asking for advice cuz the advice you're going to get won't be anything you can use. Why? Cuz the "problem" you claimed to have AIN'T THE PROBLEM YOU REALLY GOT! LOLOLOLOL!
Sorry...that was funny as hell to me.
Oh...and nope...I'm not posting EITHER of your stuff cuz yall crazy and I ain't getting us involved in all that. BOTH of yall need to get SERIOUS therapy or ONE of yall need to get a moving van. That's my humble, HUMBLE opinion.
Me driving: (doody doody do)
Phone: Ring, ring!
1969: Hey...you got one of them things?
Me: Aaaaarrruuuuuu? What things?
1969: One of them blog feed things?
Me: Um....I THINK so...don't really know.
1969: Where would it be?
Me: Like down the side.
1969: What side heffa?
Me: I don't know hell...the right side! Why you yelling at me?
1969: I don't see it!
Me: *sigh* I'm driving...I don't see it either.
1969: (Snarky) BYE!
Me need new friends.
Oh...and Shelly...your friendship status is under review after what you told me last night. Just...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! ROFL!
So the other day some of the kids in my neighborhood stopped me. The conversation went like this:
Kid: Ms. Monica (I have taught most of them this...I'm old school...kids will NOT be calling me Monica like we peers...humph!)...what are you dressing as this year for Halloween?
Me: A pirate.
Kids (crestfallen face): Awwwwwwwwww. (in unisome)
Kids: Cuz we thought you were gonna be a Ninja again. Your Ninja costume is COOL!
Me: (thinking....awwwwww..they remembered!)
Kid (the little one in the back) Yeah...cuz you gave out two big handfuls of the good candy!
Me: (thinking...well now...this is mighty dang cheeky) So Ninja huh and don't forget the good candy.
Kids: (the big one turning his bike around disgusted at the little kid) Bye Ms.. Monica.
Me: What are you coming as?
Kid: (the big one on the bike I'm always telling to get out the street) A midget riding a duck.
Me: (Aaaaaarrrruuuuuu??????) Your mother make that?
Kid: Nah...she bought it on eBay.
(Now yall KNOW I'm taking a pic of that kid right? THIS I gotta see. Wait...is that offensive to little people? Hmmmmmmmmmm.....um...little people...please don't be mad when I post the pic...I'm only going to do so cuz that seems like an odd costume choice and one I've DEF never seent!)
Say bruh...I might be giving out mulch as treats. Lil punks. Lemme find out they canvassing the neighborhood for the "good candy." Humph.
I STILL don't know if Imma be a pirate or a Ninja. My boy E is going to be a Ninja again this year (he and I did the same costume last year) so I just might stick to Ninja even though I have slowly been constructing the pirate gear. Humph. Kids got me all confuscious.
What are YOU dressing as? Your kids? Are you participating in Halloween? Do you let your kids? I know I ask this every year and yup...I already answered this over at Babs' spot a couple of weeks ago.
Oh yeah...and, as I request EVERY year...I WANNA SEE PICS PLEASE! Specially of the kids! Cole's costume is gonna be sooooooooooo cute and I can't WAIT to show yall Myles! LOLOLOLOL! MONNIE LUB DA KIDS!
When I was in second grade I got into my only school yard fight. See...when I was in school I knew my parents would kill me if I got suspended for acting a donkey's butt so I'd wait till AFTER school before I jumped somebody. Seemed logical to me. They got jumped. Me no get in trouble. Worked for me.
The fight was about something stoopit and my mother made me feel really, REALLY bad about it later.
Remember I learned HOW to fight from my father...but I learned how to PICK my fights from my mother.
Because of this...I'm very careful of whom I tag...yall see me tagging folks left and right I know...but yall have NO IDEA what it takes to get me there. Now sure...there are certain topics I don't have to wait around regarding (infertility...interracial marriage) but for the most part I study long.
One of the best things about doing this is that I get to meet some pretty FABULOUS people. People I wouldn't have met had it not been for the net because I prolly wouldn't "run across" them in real life. And yall know I bare my soul and...thank God...yall let me.
One of the greatest blessings I have from yall is your support. Me gusto mucho.
Today, however, someone in their overzealousness of protecting their "internet big sister" hurt a couple of people's feelings. I knew it was coming as I'd seen the writing on the wall for quite some time. See...
...The cooler the color the hotter the temperature. I just learned that today. It's from the Kelvin scale. Just wanted to say that cuz it's cool. :)
Wait...getting mixed up here. Lemme get back on track.
I got 258 emails today. Not really a big deal I guess...cept for the fact that I set up the email on this stoopit phone that I can barely answer and it gets to beeping and won't stop. Hell...I can't even read one for the other and lawd knows I can't answer. I sent two people four word emails today and baaaaaaaaaaaaby...that was a BIG thing to me! LOL!
Back to the schoolyard fight....
I had to talk to three people today on the phone when yall know I ain't no phone person because I felt so bad about something that was happening to them indirectly because of me.
Two of the peope have been topic of conversation in my inbox for a while because of similarities that exist. One person just got in the crosshairs of a really mean person. All three of the people were folks I consider FABULOUS.
TRUST....If you're on my blogroll...it's for a reason. A GOOD reason. It means I have noticed we have an awful lot in common and that in real life we'd prolly be good friends because we DO have so much in common.
Seems folks have been going down my blogroll trying to find out who my mini-me is and in doing so...tripped up and found some FABULOUSNESS akin to mine.
Question...what DIVA doesn't like shoes?
Question...what DIVA doesn't like bags?
Question...what DIVA doesn't like doing FABULOUS THINGS?
Question...what DIVA doesn't like living right?
ALL THE DIVA'S I KNOW.
When I share something with yall I'm truly hoping yall are gonna try it too. Flying trapeze? Man...yall should try that and SOON! Why? CUZ IT WAS FIYA! Super dooper fun. And hell...yall should take it a step further and do like we do and start your own chapter of The Usual Suspects. We are in SOLID competition with Atlanta now. Fergie and Babs bout to BRING IT and yall know we gonna answer! ROFL!
SEE...that's the kinda friendly, FABULOUS competition I SKRAIT JOCK! Good shit folks. GOOD.SHIT. I can't WAIT to see what they come up with cuz baaaaaaaaaaby...onefromphilly got us scared about our November event. (I'm trying to figure out how I can fake a sick.:))
N E Way...I said that to say...thanks for watching my back...but please know I can handle it. Know this...Gladys ALWAYS brings out the good in me. Lots of folks should be grateful for that. AND...I'm a VERY good judge of character and hardly ever mistep. Especially since I've got "The Counsel." I appreciate the love...but please trust me enough to know when I should make a move. This is why I am so grateful for being a member of a counsel of FABULOUS women that includes "The Single White Female" called Jen (private joke folks)...cuz I pretty much always second guess myself and I never, ever want to hurt someone if I got it wrong.
Oh yeah...a lot of the posts I'd had scheduled to post today didn't post because of user error...so tomorrow is gonna be a big day. ROFL! Me dumb!
To the young lady I spoke to via email this evening...I sure hope you make good on what you said you'd do cuz I almost ran off the road reading what you wrote. Robby's outta town so Idda had to call one of yall to come get me. And since I haven't figured out how to program the stoopit phone...the only numbers I know by heart are Robby's, my Grandmother's and my sister...and hell...all three of them woulda cussed me out. Humph.
...as a PARENT...you need to know this even though as a 38 year old woman...I wish I hadn't just learned it...SHEESH!: http://nextbigthing.blogsome.com/2007/10/29/picking-at-the-scab/
There comes a time in every Black woman's (with hair like mine) life where she has to do the unthinkable.
She has to blow dry her hair. I'm not talking about blow drying the ROOTS...but all of your hair from sopping wet status.
Now...as you should WELL know...this isn't something you should do regularly as it's direct heat of some of the worst kind...but hey...sometimes our schedule gets tossed.
It takes me two hours from start to finish to do my hair if I'm flat ironing it and the majority of that time is sitting under the dryer. Twice. Once for deep conditioning and once for drying. See...if I know I'm about to flat iron it I give it some extra love. Why? Makes sense.
The one or two times a year I run behind schedule (I'm VERY organized when it comes to doing my hair because I know that rushing your maintenance is the NUMBER ONE THING to lead to severe hair breakage and I'm not trying to look crazy by the head for nobody) I have a pretty good system for blow drying my hair for the least amount of damage possible.
Always remember that your hair is at it's MOST delicate when wet because it will just keep stretching and stretching if you're combing and brushing through and weaken to the point where it can snap quickly. Adding heat to that mix should be done using your brain power.
1. Wash and condition your hair, rinse and put in moisturizer (and leave-in conditioner if you use one).
2. Comb through with wide tooth comb in the shape your are going to wear your hair.
3. VERY gently...comb through with a smaller tooth comb (not cheap rat tail width).
4. Use blow dryer with diffuser on medium heat and high power and blow dry hair from top to bottom (always follow the direction your hair falls) using your fingers ONLY. (DO. NOT. USE. COMB. OR PADDLE BRUSH. UNTIL.COMPLETELY. DRY!!!!!)
5. When dry, add more moisturizer to your ends.
6. Now you may use paddle blush with blow dryer to separate hair to give it body. Continue to use blow dryer and paddle brush in the shape you're going to wear your hair.
7. Using hair clips to separate hair...flat iron.
8. After you've finished flat ironing...add a good oil lightly to hair for sheen.
VOILA! This should only take you about 35 minutes. Please note that I would never, EVER do this to my hair under any circumstances other than I'm in emergency HotNESS mode. Also please note that this is for hair like mine which is 4A/B. I don't have GOOD hair. BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! (Private joke folks. :))
Gone girl...KEEP YA STRIDE STANK!
I know there can be nothing more frustrating to Ms. Winfrey than doing all that she did with the best of everything money can buy and find that things out of her control ended up harming some of those girls.
I know she is soooooooo hurt and angry and I feel so very sorry for her.
See...nothing is worse than trying to...no...WANTING with all your heart and soul to do something good and right and having your best laid plans shot to hell by an extraneous circumstance.
Sheesh...I'm pissed FOR HER. When you know how much she fights against child abuse and to have this happen...man...I know she wants to cut somebody.
What say you?
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