CreoleInDC PSA

Hi...I'm Monica Mingo.

1. I was raised in an abusive household.
2. My father killed my mother and then himself. He suffered from manic depression.
3. I am a cancer survivor.
4. My husband is white and I am black.
5. I have germ issues.
6. I suffer from infertility.
7. I am EXTREMELY loyal to my friends.
8. I don't like people talking ish to me.
9. I hate it when people talk about ish they know NOTHING ABOUT.
10. I hate ANYTHING unfair.
11. My life is made up of a WHOLE lot of good and a WHOLE lot of bad.
12. I don't like ghetto ish.
13. My father beat my mother.
14. I think I'm the SHIT.
15. I KNOW I'm FABULOUS.

Those are my IMMEDIATE definitions. The difference between me and a lot of folks is that yall know my issues so yall pretty much know why I'm coming from somewhere else when I just pop off. A lot of other folks...we have nooooooooooo idea what's going on.

From now on...I think Imma ask folks to lay out their dang issues before they snap crazy trying to get all passionate and whatnot. That way...folks will UNDERSTAND why are that way. If you have a problem with women...Imma need you to point that out. If you have a problem with men...Imma need you to point that out. If you have a suck azz job and get bossed around a lot so by the time you visit innernet land you're in a foul azz mood...yeah...Imma need to know that too. If your mommy slapped you around and left you alone or your daddy cracked out on the regular. Imma need to know that too.

OR...you need to realize that your ish is stinking up the room and that you might need some couch time. PAID couch time. With someone who has diplomas framed and on the wall and whatnot.

Say bruh...therapy works.

*DING* You are free to move about the country.

Comments

[ms jenn]

1. I'm cute - but I don't really believe that.
2. I am married to a wonderful father and person, but a wack azz husband.
3. I do too much for everyone and I never get anything in return.
4. I miss my daddy - he died way too soon!
5. I feel like I don't really fit into my family, so to compensate I act way out of character.
6. I have three beautiful kids.
7. I wish that I would have waited until I was older to have them.
8. I am extremely smart, but I don't use my smarts to get to where I want to go.
9. I work at a place where I just sit and watch things happen around me.
10. I hate my job.
11. I have education to do what I want to do, but I don't have the confidence to get out there and do it.
12. I want to learn to be a little selfish.
13. I love my family, but I don't think that they love me the same.
14. I am sensitive and fragile, but I pretend that I am the exact opposite.
15. I want to learn to embrace my differences and just be me.
16. I think that this blog is the hotness and I come here everyday since I have found it.
17. I think that I am done.
18. I love the LORD, but my church has turned me off from going to church and it has effected my relationship with GOD.
19. I know better!
20. I think that I need therapy!
21. Now I think that I am done.

[Tiff]

1. I'm a new lurker...I love, love this blog.
2. This is a deep a$$ post.
3. I love my husband deeply, more than he knows; because I hold back trying to be all mysterious and ish...
4. I love my heritage.
5. I miss my grandmother deeply, she is one of the few people that I can't wait to see in heaven...if God will have me.
6. My trifling step father tried to molest me when I was 12, luckily someone schooled me, I fought him away and he hated me ever since, and treated my mom like crap until they finally divorced....and pretty much made my teenage years hell...he's was an abusive ass.
7. I have OCD, I check my stove settings like 2 times before i leave the house to make sure it's off, like perhaps i might have accidently past by it and hit a button.
8. I love, LOVE the beach, I love looking at the ocean it's soothing to my soul.
9. My idea of fun is eating crawfish and drinking corona's on a beach.
10. My family is orginally from New Orleans by way of many other countries.
11. I have a serious addiction to researching my family's past.
12. I'm related to a famous African Queen.
13. I hate hair weave, I can't lie, sorry divas.
14. I love history, discovery channel.
15. I love my dog, I would shoot and kill if someone ever harmed her.
16....i've said enough...and if you haven't guessed..I got a lot to say...

[marbles]

im a lurker. but i lub me some monica mingo.
whenever i am in a pissy mood i know that there will be a post somewhere up in here to make me do one of those blurt-spit-laughs at my monitor.

1. i am in a verbally/emotionally abusive relationship
1.1 he deceived me about alot, until i got pregnant and then let it all hang out
1.2 he's a great father to my son
2. my younger brother is locked up
3. my father is a functional alcoholic
4. i didn't start to have sex until i was 19 and in college
5. i contracted a life threatening std (yes, that one)
6. i am fabulous, and very intelligent, and tend to be way too nonchalant at times
7. i want to gain more weight
8. every job i have, there is always a hater
9. i hate haters
9.1 i wish i knew how not to get haters
10. i am not filthy rich but i hope to need a bath soon enough :)
11. i am not superficial
12. i love black people
13. i am a little brown girl muhself
14. i want to leave my relationship and don't know how
15. i have a great education, great job, great figure, decent hair, great style
16. i cannot stand people who feel the need to be validated by 'the majority'
17. i have had anxiety attacks
18. i think i am depressed
19. i need to talk to a therapist, any recommendations?
20. lots of folks navigate to me, i am approachable but not very good at showing that i care that they like me
21. i get nervous when i know that a man is interested in me and try to avoid situations where i am approached by the opposite sex.
22. i've lived in shelters (with my mom and brother)
23. my mom was abused when i was a child
24. i put myself thru a prestigious private university
25. i am a first generation college graduate
26. i have a killer sense of smell
27. i love natural beauty
28. i was abandoned by my dad and then my mom, i was taken in by my school teacher
29. i think my mom might have been on drugs and maybe even a prostitute (she's doing well now, i do not think that i'll ever know the truth)
30. i am a fun loving loyal friend
31. im silly
32. ditto on ms. p's #2
33. i don't like telling people that i don't know what to do (at work)
34. i don't tend to listen to other people talking within earshot (even when they may be talking about me, or dropping ques to me) i much prefer that they talk directly to me (i have no clue why i am like that)

[TeasinCaramel]

I feel that most people are jealous of me because they think I have had the perfect life.... If they only knew the truth...

1. I was leaving a H.S. party one night when I saw my fathers car parked outside the house of a lady that attended our church. My friend asked, "Why would your dads car be outside of Sister McAnn's house at this time of night."
2. I told my mom and asked her not to tell my dad that I one the one that caught him cheating. She told him anyway!!!... My dad has not shown me love since.
3. I've had two abortions.
4. My oldest brother and his wife threatened to kill me because of a lie.
5. My youngest brother stole my $7000 tennis bracelet and my class ring.
6. Both of my brothers are drug addicts.
7. My youngest brother is in jail and everyone time someone ask where he is, I lie.
8. My mother has made me a nervous wreck. Her insecurites in life have made her extremely negative.
9. I do the most for my parents and get treated the worst.
10. I've heard my dad talk negative about me on numerous occasions.
11. I masturbate because I haven't had sex in three years.
12. I haven't had a boyfriend in three years and I'm afraid that I'll never have anyone.
13. My last boyfriend was verbally abusive.
14. I saw my last boyfriend holding hands with another woman last week. (To think he told me that holding hands was high schoolish.)
15. The last time I cried to my mother because I was hurting because of all the ish in my life, she told me to grow up and stop acting like a child.
16. My father is a functional alcoholic.
17. I have skin, body, teeth and hair issues. (and every one thinks i have the perfect body, the prettiest smile and beautiful hair...)
18. I had foot surgery because of a deformity from birth.
19. I faked depression to stay off work but now that I think about it, maybe I wasn't faking.
20. I feel like I've been hugged just by releasing what's bottled up inside of me.

[AR Gal]

1. I never met my dad
2. He died down the street from our house 5 months before I was born in a car wreck.
3. My mom almost lost me.
4. I didn't find out #3 until I was 16.
4. I often get sad at just the thought of this and cry because people always tell me what a great man he was.
5. As awesome (and nutty) as my mom is, I believe not having that male influence has fugged me up to this day.
6. I could not stand one of my older sisters growing up.
7. She was mean to me...I got older and got mean back.
8. I like her better now.
9. My dog just pooted and it smells like garbage...peeeee-u!
10. I still have insecurity issues.
11. I don't like my job but I'm grateful to have it.
12. I have yet to get to the place where I feel like I know what my lifes work is supposed to be.

[thoughtsofsoutherngal]

1. I just found out yesterday my father has 15 yr old son by the same woman he has a 19 yr old son by. My mother knows nothing about the 15 yr old. My parents are still married. I'm telling my mother even though I know it's goin to hurt her but she has a right to know. I hope she finally leaves him.

2. I'm thisclose to hating my father. And I hate no one.

3. My father is semi-physical and verbal abusive to my mother.

4. Sometimes I feel as life is flying by me b/c I'm no where near where I think I should be.

[Melonie]

1. I am in serious denial about my grandmother. I pretend that she's still here and we just haven't spoken in a long time so I'll call her tomorrow.

a. I do this every day.

2. I love my sister but she disappoints me and her low self-esteem exhausts me. I don't think she views me as her little sister. I'm more of her therapist.

3. I don't believe she's raising my nephew right and I worry about him.

4. I'm scared if people call me more than three times in a row because I think another family member has died.

5. I am a serial procrastinator, even when I know better.

6. My ex used to make me cry every weekend. I am still deeply resentful of him and I truly believe if he died, I wouldn't cry or attend his funeral. If he was shipped to Iraq, I'd shrug and be like, "Good luck with that."

a. This scares me because I don't hold grudges.

7. I have a man that I love and who I can tell loves me...but I'm scared to tell him.

8. I resent my mom because she thinks only of herself, from the time she was an addict until now. But I love her too because she's a phenomenal woman and I'm amazed by her strength. Hey mama!

9. I feel I carry the burden of my mom and sister's insecurity as women.

10. I know I'm better than some people but it still makes me feel guilty saying or thinking it.

11. I have issues with my weight. I like my body, but I was always told I needed to gain weight.

12. I don't know why anyone would be jealous of me so I always think it's something that I'm doing wrong when I get weird vibes.

13. I'm never jealous or envious. I love being around fabulous things so if someone is doing well, I'm happy for them because I get to bask in their glow!

14. I am an excellent friend.

15. I am very motherly. This makes me feel guilty because I made an extremely painful decision back in September.

16. I am creative and good at planning events.

17. There are several things I know I'd be great at, i.e. photography, editing a magazine, directing, writing, running a boutique. I used to think I had an overflated sense of ego but now I recognize my talents as the gifts God gave me.

a. I've since stopped doubting myself.

18. I love my grandmother but she gave me a major issue, normally the belief that I'm selfish so I find myself always compensating and wondering if I'm being my true self.

19. I'm not financially responsible.

20. I feel guilty when I'm mean, even when it's warranted.

a. I just want people to play nice. *sigh*

21. I love the Lord and believe in Him. But of all the things to take...why did it have to be my grandmother? *sigh*

22. I don't need no hook for this...!! lol

[miss_eddy]

1. I often feel stressed and unable to cope with life. I don't forget and barely really forgive.
2. I am the purse strings for my mother and my sister.
3. I wish they could be independent although I consider it a great thing to help my mother.
4. I could have been married by now twice if I trusted men more.
5. Sometimes I feel like I self sabotage relationships with men.
6. I have no contact with my father although I know where he lives and his phone number, but when he stopped sending support for my college and almost caused me to drop out and I lost my car, I realized that he has no intentions of bringing anything good to me in his life.
7. There would be a huge inheritance from him if something were to happen, but I don't even want it.
8. I was molested at 8 by an uncle who was 18 at the time, about 15 years later I heard while living a sexually reckless (many partners) homosexual life he died of AIDS. I wanted to confront him and never did.
9. #8 and #6 are the reasons I think I don't give men a chance.
10. I had a myomectomy 2 years ago yesterday and still suffer from issues every month to the point that I am an emotional time bomb, I am afraid of being at work and having menstrual issues so I take off work every month and considered a hysterectomy.
11. I want a son and a husband.
12. I want to feel loved
13. I am disgusted by germs and have some OCD
14. I must lose some weight.
15. I need to stop crying...

[Shanda]

Looking over other folks's entries, I realize there are things I could have included...but the omitted things are'nt necessary at the forefront of who I am.
Hmmmm...
Just a thought.

[Shanda]

1. I'm a longtime lurker and occasional poster. I enjoy this blog because you speak good sense, and if I lived closer to DC (I live in Virginia Beach), I'd like to apply (odd word choice?) to be one of the Usual Suspects.

Now that that's out of the way...
2. I was raised in a quietly abusive household...sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will definitely hurt me. Oh, trust, if anyone attempts physical violence towards me, there will be self-defense measures in return. But emotional and verbal tactics really get to me and take me to a very dark place.
3. I loooove my daddy, and used to say that I loved my mother, but didn't like her. As time goes by, I feel differently. All of the verbal and emotional abuse came from her, and now that I realize I'm grown, live faaar away, and won't be moving back, things have changed between us.
4. I'm black and my husband is white.
5. I've had 2 ectopic pregnancies and both of my fallopian tubes are gone. I'll need IVF if/when I/we decide to have a child.
6. I'm adopted. I think adoption is a wonderful thing, and regardless of whether I ever give birth to a child, I really want to adopt one day.
7. I am very loyal to my friends. I'd do (and have done) anything for them.
8. My circle of friends is very small and very tight.
9. I'm a borderline misanthrope. I have a hard time trusting any-old-body, opening my door to folks I don't expect or recognize, helping folks, etc.
10. I'm very shy, which has led to my being seen as arrogant. It's a shield I put up to avoid getting hurt.
11. I'm often misunderstood as a pushover. I have a dominant personality, but I don't steamroll people. I'm soft spoken. I always get my point across, though. Don't try me. I walk softly and carry a big stick:)
12. I love music. Many types. New wave, electronic, alternative, R & B, neo-soul. I don't put other people's music down, because I think music is very powerful. Whatever moves you...good for you.
13. I hate ghetto ish,too.
13. I'm a walking contradiction.

[Sister P]

1. I am grateful for this blog.
2. I come here because I am not close to many women right now because we are all "too busy".
3. I have always been popular but my self esteem has been to low to know it so I was/am still lonely A LOT.
4. I LOVE my daughter.
5. I am re-learning to love my husband. I thought I did before. But now that I REALLY know him I have to love this new (real) guy.
6. I am only ashamed of my weight around my parents.
7. I never feel good enough so I am unnecessarily competitive.
8. I am unfocused and a day dreamer and it causes me to not be as productive as I need to be as a boss.
9. I love having my own business but it's so damn hard that I want to quit sometimes.
10. This time of year is very hard for us financially (it's the industry) but my husband spent $700 to go see his family that doesn't like me and now my 1.5 carat wedding ring is in the pawn shop because we couldn't afford the trip and keep a roof over our head.
11. I am disappointed that my husband won't go get an extra job to make things easier.
12. I was just going to read everyone else's posts and not do this.
13. I am so damn talented, I just need to believe it.
14. I am an excellent writer and public speaker.
15. I have a great company with three major money making ventures but I haven't made the big bucks yet because I feel like I have to do it all because I have trust issues.
16. I am in the midst of doing some serious work on me and all my relationships.
17. I plan to fix myself, with the help of Allah (God) by December 2008.

@Nikita-Glad you got what you needed today!

[Nikita]

Sometimes when you write things out, especially when you KNOW that other folks are understanding you and pro'lly praying for you (thanks!) wonderful things happen. Today, out of the blue, while talking on the phone with my dad he told me how really proud of me he is... NO, I am no longer a child, but that made me feel so good today. After that I had to pull over and have a good cry and smile. I did not know how badly I needed that. I am glad that I got that gift today. Just wanted to share that with everyone.

[CreoleInDC]

Check your email.

[NinaMM]

I'm not spammin' your comments either, but why am I the only foul-mouthed carp that got edited? (It's a rhetorical question though.) LOL

The reality of my "issues" dictates rawness though. I'on know no other way to write 'em. Oh well. *shrugs*

[NinaMM]

Ewl. Censorship.

You ain't have to put raped in all caps like that though, did ya? LOL

[Mel]

1. My parents divorced when I was two.
2. I was raised in a single parent home.
3. I have issues with men b/c I didn't grow up with a stable male figure in my home.
4. I don't like grad school.
5. #4 is b/c I feel like I am being pressured by everyone around me to go.
6. Some days I feel like an underachiever..
7. I have frequent emotional meltdowns b/c I feel like there is no one I can talk to about what is going on in my head.
8. Even though I have a degree and a teaching certificate, I dread having my own class.
9. I have severe stage fright.
10. I can't stand the fact that my dad still treats me like a child, regardless of how many times I tell him that I am not the two year old he walked out on 21 years ago.
11. I think I was molested as a child, but NO ONE wants to talk about it and tell me what happened.
12. My friends who know about the night I was almost raped think I am over it, but some days it really gets to me.
13. Though I love my friends, I'm not really a people person.
14. Sometimes I feel like I will grow up and have anxiety attacks like my mother does.
15. I am happiest when I am taking pictures or driving down the road blasting my radio.

[Exhausted]

1. I'm in the Army Reserve and I can't stand it
2. I will probably retire in the Reserves because I need the money
3. I flunked out of medical school after repeating first year.
4. I went back and graduated from medical school this year and I still feel inadequate sometimes
5. I was molested and I can tell everyone but my mother
6. Divorce made me feel like a failure
7. My father is a 62 year old homeless man and I'm ashamed of that.
8. I worry that sometimes I want to marry again and sometimes I don't
9. I find a way to sabotage all of my romantic relationships
10. I love to blog but I'm too lazy to write most of the time.

[NinaMM]

1. I suffer from anxiety attacks. Like, really bad, paralyzing anxiety attacks.
2. I refuse to go on medication because I don't want it to be "documented" that I have anxiety attacks. (So stupid, but so true.)
3. Most people think that they are superior to others, but I really am.
4. My mother has been dead for 26 years. My grandmother for 11. I miss my grandmother more.
5. If my mother were alive, she and I prolly would have a misunderstanding. Several of them, actually.
6. My conversational English is D.C. *EESE*. And I'm still brilliant.
7. I was raped at the age of 19, and didn't call the police because I didn't want the world to know that I had been *RAPED against my will, and have to suffer the rest of my life under that stigma.
8. In the spirit of such denial, I dated my rapist for a month. Yanno. To justify in my mind that I had really "wanted" it.
9. My rapist was murdered years later, and if I had a gun, I'd shoot down in his grave because he didn't die hard enough. Even though he did manage to die like a dog. Still not hard enough.
10. I want to see what my best friend's *PRIVATE PART* looks like. I'on wanna touch it though!
~
*EDITED BY CreoleInDC

[IJ]

1. I'm so close to the job I want I can taste it. And I will drop everything to move even though it will be a loss of at least $15K a year and a 1600 mile move.

2. The man that loves me - makes my teeth itch. I have continued our r-ship as his friend in the desperate hope that MY feelings will change.

3. The man that I love couldn't keep his soldier in his pants with a chastity belt and the national guard. Make that ANY man that I've loved. So I pray HARD that my heart will change and I can love a man who excites me at the same level of unsugared undercooked oatmeal.

4. I think all people are hypocrites in some way so I take almost everything folks say with a grain of salt.

5. I come to Monnie's site every day because I love an active mind... so many people are stuck on stupid or repetition, I love that there's something different every 5 minutes. And I love to hear her affirmations of love to her husband - I'm so tired of hearing about folks who don't NEED a SO. BS!

6. I worry about my ambition because I see so many black women that are successful superwomen that are lonely and/or cold hearted or otherwise dysfunctional.

7. My mother is amazing. So amazing sometimes I sit in awe of her beauty, her acumen, and her talents. On the other hand, sometimes I am jealous of that too.

[Tonya]

• My mother passed away 4 months ago.
• I miss her to the point sometimes I wish I did not have to continue to live through this level of pain.
• I am overweight
• I was exposed to too much of my mother’s problems in my youth . I am a chronic worrier.
• I always want people to like me.
• My brother was physically and verbally abusive to my mother.
• My stepfather was verbally abusive to my mother.
• I am nervous when someone confronts me.
• I want to go to therapy but I never make time for myself.
• I have a hard time getting over my past.
• I am angry with God because he let my mother live in misery and he seems to only answer my easy prayers.
• I still love God anyway.
• My brother is a recreational addict, user and lazy.
• I love him dearly and want the best for him, sometimes by babying him.
• I secretly resent my brother for how he treated my mother.
• My sister and I have never been close, yet we live together right now. The harder I try the more she emotionally moves away.
• I have a hard time trusting people.
• I regret not marrying and having children earlier in life
• I have a graduate degree, but I am working in a job that I do not care for and that is not related to my desired field.
• I am extremely indecisive and procrastinate a lot.
• I compare myself to others (in a bad way) all the time.
• I never feel like I am good enough, smart enough or pretty enough.
• My mother never told me she was proud of me.
• I want children(at least one) so I can love them and give them all the things I missed growing up emotionally.
• I have a really big heart and love to see other people happy.
• I love my creative spirit.
• I love my family in spite of all their hateful ways.
• I love that I easily draw people to me.

[Karyn]

1. I walked away from a job as an attorney, because I hated it, and took a $50K paycut to be a teacher. Now I work for the government. I hate that too. I really want to own a boutique and a marketing firm.

2. I suffered from depression so badly, that up until a couple of months ago, I would go into paralysis on the right side of my body. But I couldn't go to the doctor because I did not have insurance.

3. I feel like a failure because I had to move back home with my parents. I don't make enough to move out on my own yet.

4. I am afraid that I'll never get married. I want to find someone to love and be loved. My parents have an amazing relationship (almost 35 of marriage). I really want the same thing.

5. I don't think that I want kids. I'm afraid I won't get married because of that.

6. I compare myself to people too much.

7. I am spoiled, and tend not to be thankful for what I do have, and look to what I wish I had.

8. I think I let the love of my life go a few years ago because I was so depressed that I couldn't see how great of a friend he was. He got married this year - on my parent's anniversary.

9. I am scared that I am never going to live my ultimate dreams. I was such an achiever in high school and college. I'm afraid that I "peaked" early, and everything else is downhill.

10. I used to starve myself in high school. I lived on an apple and 1/2 a sandwich a day, and then lied to my parents about eating dinner early before I worked out at cheerleading practice.

11. I put on more weight than I ever thought, even though I'm a size 12. I'm too embarrassed to go out and socialize. I stay at home most times because I'm embarrassed to see someone that I grew up with, and they will think "Damn, what happened to her?!!"

[ninamarree]

1. I have deeply rooted issues surrounding my parents divorce 10+ years ago including but not limited to talking about feelings and emotions.

2. Because of #1 I've decided to start therapy (again) in January and this time go until I'm "better".

3. I dream BIG. So big sometimes I have to remind myself I'm only 23 and I have plenty of time to reach these humongous goals.

4. I have wanted to work in the medical field since I can remember being alive.

5. Although I feel like going into the medical field is one of the reasons God has placed me here, I don't know if it is what I want any more.

6. I feel like if I don't do #4, God will be very disappointed.

7. I HATE that I am STILL single.

8. I have stopped talking to God about #7...I feel like he's not listening anyway.

9. I am an over achiever and have a very hard time sitting still. I constantly have a ton a goals I'm working towards. See #3

10. I am fiercely protective of those that are close to me.

11. I am very, very grateful for finding this site.

12. I am so very proud of my younger brother.

13. I have communicating issues. I'm hoping to address these issues in therapy as well.

14. My greatest fear in life is that I will end up divorced probably because of #1.

15. There are things that took place in my mother’s first 2 marriages and divorces that I will NEVER forgive her for.

[mellow]

1. I'm single and loving it.
2. I love the company of my friends but also very much enjoy my own company
3. I'm overweight but losing every month (40 lbs. and counting)
4. I'm quiet but not really shy
5. Growing up my father's personality had us (me, mom and sister) walking on eggshells everyday (I hesitate to say emotionally abusive, but who knows)
6. This has affected my relationship with him.
7. I only have one male friend that I haven't had relations with.
8. Our immediate family is close, but we're a "mind your own business" family. In other words, we don't talk often.
9. I have the greatest friends.
10. If I was in jail and could only call one person, I'd still have ALL the "usual suspects" all up and through, no questions asked.
11. I am a Christian and I love God
12. I am not where I need to financially, but I'm working on it.
13. I like my job, but I believe I should be doing something else.
14. re: #12 It's very left-brain work. My right-brain feels neglected.
15. I need to do some volunteer work
16. I am a procrastinator
17. I'm going for a consultation next month for breast reduction. It's always (well, since high school) been at the back of my mind. Feels different now that my doctor has suggested it.

[Clu]

1. I haven't spoken to my father in 6 months. I am ignoring his phonecalls on purpose.
2. The last time I visited my father I cried so much that my eyes were swollen (why I am not picking up phone)
3. I know my father loves me the best way he can
4. My mother didn't get married until she was 45...so I am not too pressed about being married
5. My height made me feel so uncomfortable up until maybe 2 years ago
6. I don't have any positive male role models
7. I wish I hadn't gotten a "practical" degree and done what I loved...because now working sucks and I feel like I am wasting my life away
8. I am addicted to food
9. I am very good at managing my manager
10. I need music to survive
11. I am paranoid
12. Ideally I would work for a non-profit but I have gotten so used to my current salary in a job I hate I won't take the salary cut
13. Yet I live paycheck to paycheck

and that is all...for now

[KRH]

1. It's hard for me to admit my issues--sometimes even to myself.
2. I was raised in a two-parent household & they are still married today.
3. My father was distant father, and not a good husband.
4. My mother is a bitter woman because of it.
5. I forgave my father for being distant, but cannot forgive my mother for being bitter.
6. I have four kids who are the LIGHT of my life.
7. I had all four of them before I married their father and I didn't want to when I did.
8. I divorced him after 2 years of marriage, but after being with him for a total of 11.
9. Even though I didn't love him, I would still be married to him if he hadn't been an alcoholic--or even just less of one.
10. My siblings and I did NOT see good relationships modeled, but they were LONG relationships.
11. This taught us to hang in there even when it absolute crap.
12. I used to prefer casual sexual relationships so as to not form an attachment--no expectations, no disappointments.
13. I used to think I was strong
14. I waited for months after my daughter's birth for her to "darken up" and our bonding was delayed.
15. When my kids are out alone with their dad, you'd not know that there mother is black.
16. I had to make a concious effort to get over that--and I still have to every now & then.
17. I'm 35 and sooo not doing what I want to professionally.
18. I'm in a long distance relationship.
19. It makes me really, really unhappy to be away from him.
20. I don't have very many friends outside of my family.
21. I love hard and am passionate
22. I cannot stand to see human suffering of any kind.
23. I give to panhandlers, addicts in the barber shop pkg. lot, etc.
24. I HATE for people to tell me that I don't "look like I have 4 kids"--what does that mean? But it happens all the time
25. I struggle mightily with my spiritual relationship with God.
26. I wonder if I'm good enough--not sure for what.
27. I would go to therapy, but don't want to actually deal with anything.

[Steph]

1. I'm not happy when I look in the mirror (overweight)
2. I get tired of people telling me "You have such a Pretty face"
3. My mom mentally abused me
4. I need to go back to Therapy (re: My mom, Men & Baby issues)
5. I have trust issues not only men but with woman too.
6. I wear a wig b/c of a big bald spot in the crown of my head
7. I want to have children as well, but due to an etopic pregnancy, fibroid surgery and reoccuring fibroids not sure I will ever have children
8. I feel like a failure
9. I LOVE Sweets
10. I cannot stand public bathrooms
11. I can sure can hide depression when I'm around folks
12. I truly believe I will be alone for the rest of my life

[Roycee]

1) Uh I have no issues!

*Love ya big Sis*

[Ang]

1. Grew up in an abusive household. Everyone thought I had the best life because I had things and I was very popular.
2. Father issues. He suffers from some mental disorder, so does many of his family members. It's always been a taboo topic.
3. Bad relationships because of my Father issues.
4. I'm shy, but people think that I'm stuck up.
5. I want to perform well in my career.
6. I am afraid of failure.
7. I am a binge eater.
8. I suffered from low self esteem.
9. Then, I thought my life was together: spiritually, mentally, socially and financially.
10. Due to #8, I met my ex-husband. Low self-esteem will make you settle for less.
11. Divorced.
12. Love God will all of my heart.
13. Each day, I'm making steps into picking up the pieces. Not looking back at the past, but looking forward to the future. My future will be better than my past. Trust.

*This was therapeutic. Thanks for saving me a few dollars.

[Honest]

1. I hold grudges
2. Sometimes I still hate my father for my parents divorce and how much my mom had to struggle financially because of it.
3. My dad is one of the most selfish people I've ever met.
4. I too can be selfish but have to fight the feeling often.
5. My mom is selfless and sometimes that bothers me.
6. I harbour a lot of secrets that no one I mean not a living soul knows.
7. I'm lazy
8. I'm a procrastinator
9. I often procrastinate because I'm afraid of failure.
10. Sometimes my weight battle troubles me sometimes it doesn't.
11. The sky's the limit for me if only I'd apply myself.
12. I'm very impatient
13. 90% of the time I actually don't want to talk to people.
14. I need a lot of alone time and don't get enough of it.

[Dianika]

1. As a child I thought I was extremely ugly because I was dark skinned. I hated it. People constantly made fun of me.
1a. While I love my skin color, I hate when people tell me I'm very beautiful CHOCOLATE girl. Why can't I just be beautiful.
2.I have major daddy issues.
3. I push people away out of fear of being hurt.
4. I have a man who loves me to pieces and while I love him so much, I'm afraid if I love him to hard, he'll leave like my father.
5. People think I'm incredibly stuck up, but the truth of the matter is I'm a tab bit shy until I get to know the person.
6. I suffer from extreme mood swings.
7. I think I may have OCD.
8. I'm incredibly hard on myself.
9. My biggest fear is failure.
10. I'm totally unsure if I want I really want to do career wise. I think journalism is for the birds.
11. I'm incredibly nice to a fault, but when you cross me, I sometimes go out of my way to be mean.
12. I love my family with all my heart.
13. I'm secretly ashamed of my oldest sister... I'm not sure what happened with her.
14. My nephew is my heart.
15. I have an extreme problem with telling on myself. I'm the worst liar in the world, which results in me constantly outing myself.

[SunnyJ]

1. my parents divored when I was 6 or 7
2. my father was an alcoholic
3. I watched him morph into a mean thoughtless person because of #2
4. i have never had the benefit of seeing a successful marriage up close
5. I am a single mother
6. I have never been married.
7. I feel guilty and ashamed about #5
8. I am proud of achieving advanced degrees inspite of obstacles
9. I feel as if I am wasting #8 with my current career
10. I always feel as if I'm not doing enough
11. At 35 I am just learning how important it is to love myself
12. I hate to be wrong
13. because of #11 and 12 I spent almost 10 years in a relationship that was doomed by year 4
14. i am severly sleep deprived
15. my stress level is so high at times I have started having panic attacks
16. I feel guilty when I do or buy something for myself
17. It took being financially ruined for me to admit that the person I had been with for years was selfish and lacked integrity
18. i am afraid that if i don't do something about #15 I will do irreparable damage to my health
19. i have yet to forgive myself for my poor decisions

[chocomom]

Okay...I thought of some more

11. I am the black sheep of my family.
12. I never really had a childhood.
13. I have been date-raped.
14. My mother is very cruel. I am afraid of becoming like her.
15. I worship my grandparents and am blessed to have ALL of them still with me.
16. I am afraid my world will fall apart if one of my grandparents pass away. Even typing that makes me tear up.
17. I am determined to get our family in a better position financially. 2008 WILL. BE. NO. JOKE.
18. I am fiercely loyal to those I love.
19. I am thinking of becoming a surrogate mom.
20. I want another child but am scared as hell of starting over again with a baby.
21. I think I want to adopt.
22. I am extremely respectful of my elders. But I want to cuss my MIL the hell out.

[Barrister]

My mother was 15 y.o. when I was born.
She was ridiculed & caught HELL because of me.
I feel guilty about that.
I am glad she let me live.
Sometimes I don't believe that she loves me as much as she loves my sisters.
I know that she loves me just as much as she loves my sisters.
My dad is sweet but he is one silly mutherfugger. LOL.
I know my life is better because he wasn't a big part of my life.
My grandmother was my savior. My respite. My world.
She has changed. Bitter. Mean. Resentful.
Maybe she has some organic brain issues.
She's 89. She hurts my mother.
My grandmother taught school for "37 and a half years." LOL. We all know that.
She still be tryin' to teach anglish to her chirrin.
I keep my guard up.
I used think that I knew everything.
I know much more now and I feel like I'm coming up short.
I am really smart. I will use that against you.
I was raped when I was . . .I don't know how old - maybe 6 or 7.
No one will talk to me about it.
I work in the same town when it happened.
I remembered on Monday that the courtroom that I frequent is the same one I testified in as a child.
When the judge asked me to raise my right hand I was terrified that I would raise the wrong one.
They made me say "pussy" in front of everyone. I hate that word so much.
I can only cry for that little girl. I can never cry for me.
I wish that I knew "innocence." Instead, I know "shame."
I don't know the man's name or what he looks like.
I know he knows who I am.
He said he would kill me. I believed him.
I don't know how I am still functioning.
I have nightmares.
I used to demand perfection. I stopped frustrating myself.
I love to laugh. I wish that I could cry.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and cringe.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and wink.
Everybody thinks that I am the ish.
I am damaged but not beyond repair.
I am a good friend.
I am love.
I am afraid that everyone who reads this will remember this everytime I post. . . .

[adrienne]

Wow, how did I miss this yesterday!?!?

I used to have a hard time loving myself.
I used to not have any self esteem.
I am terrified of starting my radiation treatment.
I can NOT spell. AT ALL. I love spell check.
I sometimes worry too much.
I give of myself freely, never expecting anything in return.
I am very nice, but I have a, ummm, VERY mean side. Don't go there....
I loooooooooooove sweets.
I loooooooooooooooooooove myself even more than sweets...THAT IS A LOT!
I love my husband most days, and I love my kids.
I love cats.
I am a big geek.
I love gadgets.
I love my MAC!

[Sylvia]

I was raised in an abusive home. My dad beat the shit out of my mom

I was an alcoholic

I was a slut cause I was an alcoholic

I was sexually molested..All except one was/is a family member

Im a rape survivor. Charges against my ex husband were reduced from rape to sexual assault. The other person that raped me was a friend

Im a domestic abuse survivor. Ex husband was the abuser

Ive been married 3 times

I suffer from infertility

I have trust issues. I lie to my husband ALOT, especially about finances

Ive been in and out of mental hospitals. Im a survivor of several failed suicide attempts. God must really have something big planned for me to which I have yet to figure out

Im a volunteer advocate for the YWCA

I suffer from Bulimia which is starting to ruin my teeth

Huge hugs to you all..It takes a lot to post about ones problems/issues

[cbean]

1. I grew up the middle child
2. I was the only "good" child.
3. Because of #2, I am an approval addict.
4. My sister was pretty and slim and got all the cute boys.
5. Because I wasn't fast like my sister, the boys didn't want to be my boyfriend.
6. Because of #5, I have gone through life thinking I have to have sex before a guy will like me.
7. I have always made good money, and spent it on other folks.
8. I am not as financially sound as I should be for a single person with no dependents.
9. I have only had one relationship that still makes me smile when I think about it. Unfortunately it was not with my husband.
10. I was only married 10 months. I was too afraid of calling off the wedding.
11. I have always had low self esteem.
12. I am 37 years old and tell people I am an old woman reincarnated.
13. I dress up to make a man pant, but stay frumpy in jeans and a t-shirt afraid that if I try guys still won't find me attractive.
14. I love my mommma.
15. My dad had a heart attack and it scared me.
16. My sister is a convicted felon that goes from hetero to homo sexual to satisfy her immediated needs. She uses people.
17. She makes my mom cry. I hate her for that.
18. I love my brother. He gives good hugs.
19. My sister ruined the news about me buying my first home. She was carted off to jail the same week.
20. I have a secret that I have never told my mom. I have never kept anything from my mom.
21. I only have two real friends. I have no friends in Houston.
22. I want to be married.
23. I don't want to have children. I am scared I won't be a good mother.
24. I love my dog.
25. I felt like a failure when I gave my first dog to the pound.
26. I am overweight. Even though I have lost weight, I still feel fat.
27. I want to know how to really cook.
28. I am afraid of failure.
29. I hate my feet, I can never find comfortable shoes.
30. I am the only child that calls and talks to my real dad.
31. I had a 15 year grudge with my aunt. We finally got over it.
32. My uncle molested his step-daughter. I hate him.
33. I hate his wife for forgiving him. I am not there yet. It's easier to hate him.
34. My grandmother died. I was the only one not there.
35. My aunt Gladys died. Now she is with my Grandma.
36. My aunt and I were the same age until she died of breast cancer four years ago.
37. I don't want to get a mammogram because I never want to know.

That's 37 since I am 37.

[Gladys]

Ok, I'm sitting here reading everyone's list and crying. I know that we can each overcome EVERYTHING that has happened to us and EVERYTHING that will continue to happen to us. With that said, here's my list...DEEP BREATH...

1) I'm VERY emotional
2) I FLUNKED out of medical school during my second year
3) Because of #2, I fear doing things that I think I may fail at
3) Surprisingly, I'm happily single even though I really want to get married one day, but I want it to be to the person that God has for me. Therefore, I'm content with being patient in this department. I know it's me I need to work on.
4) I lead a very full life
5) I feel that I would be prettier if I lost a lot of weight. :-( When I look in the mirror, I see a pretty face, but I honestly believe that I would be much PRETTIER if I had the body AND face. Also, more men would want to date me. A lot of times, I think my dating life sucks rotten eggs because of my weight.
6) Each of my siblings has a different relationship with my mom, especially my youngest sister.
7) My father was killed when I was 6 mos old.
8) That's another reason why I don't date much. I get attached too quickly to a guy and feel abandoned when he leaves me. It's easier to not date sometimes.
9) I feel that things happen later in life for me than other people. I got my very first car at age 30 and bought my condo at age 33. I'm excited and jealous at the same time of people in their 20s accomplishing these things much earlier than I did.
10) My first real job out of graduate school only paid me $26,5000/year. GOD has truly been good to me since then, but I just need to manage his resources better.
11) I need to not fear speaking up for what I want in life...in all aspects of my life. Don't just say what people want to hear.

[Nikita]

1. I assisted raising my sister 4 kids since I was 16 and was very resentful towards her and my parents about that.
2. I was sexually molested.
3. I was blocked from going away to college by my dad to help out with raising my sis kids.
4. I am overweight and though I KNOW I am fabulous where I am right now is not healthy at all. Starting to move and eat right again. Progress :)
5. I am the "good girl" perfectionist who rarely got praise or thanks from her parents.
6. I am VERY hard on me at times.
7. I got issues and ish. I have to fight depression at times.
8. My sis and I are NOT close and she is forever doing some illegal or backstabbing ish.
9. I hold my emotions in, unless of course you hit my nerve then it is ON. Lately I am saying what I mean and crying when I need to. Progress :)
10. I lovey the kids and volunteer with and for them.
11. My drive for school, to get my associates, bachelor's and eventually my MLS is because I won't let my dreams die and they won't leave me anyway ;)
12. My friends are like my fam and are very important to me.
13. I sometimes get so concerned about the other persons feelings I don't express my own.
14. I am dependable and reliable. A loyal person.
15. I hate being vulnerable (#5)
16. I am a caregiver who is finally getting she must take care of herself first.
17. It has been God that has been there for me all the time and I pray and build a relationship with him on the daily.

This was kind of hard to write, and the list is definitely incomplete, but it was needed. Thanks for reading.

[chocomom]

1. I hate to work and wish I could be a SAHM.
2. I love my kids to death.
3. I resent my DH for not making a better choice career-wise.
4. I am the breadwinner and depise it.
5. I love GOD but realize how much of a work in progress I am.
6. I love anything sweet. That is why I am 30lbs overweight.
7. I am afraid if I lose weight I might leave my husband.
8. I think my husband needs some hobbies.
9. I have no real relationship with my parents. But I love the both of them to death.
10. I have no real career goals. See # 1.

[mon]

1. I grew up in a single parent, but very loving home with just me and my mom
2. I haven't seen my dad since I was 3
3. I come from a very warm and loving family
4. My uncle scared the shyt out of us kids when he got drunk, which is why to this day, at age 31, I've never had any alcohol
5. I went to Catholic school from Kindergarten to 8th grade
6. I have control issues
7. I got pregnant with my son 2 days before I left for college
8. Despite # 7, I still graduated, even though it took me 10 years to do it.
9. I've been married for almost 5 years, and we're just getting to the point where things are smoothing out.
10. I have a 2-year old who is a huge Daddy's girl
11. I'm overweight, but I'm 20 pounds down, 28 more to go
12. I can be very moody
13. I worry too much
14. I sometimes let fear cripple me
15. I am an awesome, very true friend
16. I am very intelligent
17. I'm still working on getting out of debt
18. I am very quiet and shy at times
19. Without my relationship with God, I'd be lost
20. I do random acts of kindness on a daily basis

[InnerDiva]

This really is theraputic...everyone is so honest about themselves.

1. I just turned 25 and everything I thought I knew, I don't.
2. Sometimes I feel really dumb.
3. My parents wasted a lot of money sending me to college and I didn't work up to my full potential.
4. I am constantly in fear of getting diabetes and high blood pressure.
5. My grandmother may have her foot amputated due to diabetes, and I'm scared I may lose her.
6. Every day I try to become a better person...because I'm not that happy with the person I currently am.
7. I think something happened to me when I was little...but I've blocked it out and even therapy hasn't revealed it to me.
8. I've always been skinny and always been made fun of because of it.
9. My father is too hard on my little brother, and it breaks my heart.
10. I am "culturally retarded" and trying to change.

[lynn]

I'm an only child
My mom had me at a young age
My father was married when I was conceived (my mom was not aware, she was young and in love)
My father was killed when I was four
I have never met my father's mother and was informed she was not interested in meeting me (that hurts)
My grandmother helped my mom raise me and she passed 6 yrs ago...I miss her
I was blessed to have a beautiful daughter (I love her to pieces) and I am a single mother/parent, her father is really not involved in her life (his choice)
I've only dated one man in my life and that is the father of my child
My feelings are easy to be hurt (I'm working on this)
I LOVE HARD (that's just me)
In my heart I know I'm loved, but I still feel alone at times
I'm not where I need to be in life and I'm well aware of this (working on it)
There are days when I feel like I have failed my daughter
I often wonder why my child's father left (I gave the relationship everything I had and then some)
I'm fat (can't seem to loose a pound)
My mom's male companion (now deceased), tried to hit on me (she didn't believe me)
My grandmother didn't want me to tell anyone about my mom's mc hitting on me.....she said my mom needed some happiness (hurtful)
When I get really stressed my face has "fits"
I don't live in the best of neighborhoods
When I see a person in pain, I want to help in whatever way I can
My cousin did a horrible thing to me this year and I'm still bitter
Hopefully next year I will be back in school.....I only have like 6 hrs. left
Sometimes I feel like I'm beneath others
My job is so-so
Believe it or not...I'm still a praying and thankful women
I can talk to strangers, sometimes better than my family/friends

Thanks, for this venting session....it could have been longer...but I'll spare you...smile

[1969]

1. I grew up without my father and reconnected with him in my 30's. I had to work hard to forgive him but I have and it has created so much calm in my life.

2. I am the first person in my family to graduate from college. I am the only female, black executive at my job and I am a born leader....type A, go-getter and all around Superwoman.

3. I am the oldest child and I am fiercly loyal to my family and my baby brother.

4. The love of my life died of a heart attack at the age of 30.

5. I still miss him, every single day.

6. My husband is wonderful and I am blessed to have that man in my life. Our marriage is never perfect but it works for us.

7. As much as I love him.....I love my two sons more :)

8. I am armed with an opinion and not afraid to use it.

9. I don't have patience for folks that just like to stir the pot. If you really like to debate and have an opinion? I can debate with you all day and still show you MAD LOVE. If you are just trying to get a rise out of me? Kick rocks.

10. I love people to death, but equally like to be by myself.

[Eric Brown]

1. I'm a black male
2. People used to think I was stuck up because I did not talk much, the reason I did not talk was because I was shy.
3. I have depression
4. I can be a very sweet person but if you cross me I can be very very evil.
5. Boxing, bodybuilding and powerlifting are passions of mine
6. I love to write poetry.
7. I can be ascoial and a loner at times.
8. I have a lot of passion

[sPRING]

1. i HAVE THREE SONS
2. i TAKE THINGS TO HEART
3. Overweight
4. My middle son high-jacked a car when he was 17
5. I want to beat the crap out of him for being so stupid
6. raped by a cousin when I was 7
7. married a man I didn't love
8. picked a lousy father for my children
9. I like my children
10. Divorced
11. Love myself some God
12. Love to read, would rather read than talk sometimes
13.I like my job
14. Scared to try new things by-myself, but am focing my-self to do so anyway
15. My mother and I had issues
16. sometimes to dammn loyal
17 ask questions I don't know the answer too, then get upset at the answer.
18. I have alopecia
19. only people I trust could tell you my real hair color.

[Stacey_CrimsonPurl]

Gurl yes, I keep forgetting we all have issues to and we react based on those unresolved!
Lets just say I have issues with bringing things to and end (NOT abandonment issues). Yep my mother was murdered when I was 5, by my father who was a having an affair with my mother...did I mention he was a preacher too and still is? Got off scott free?
Oh yeah and then I was brought up by my aunt who physically and mentally abused me...but hey I could of had it much worse...not to mention the sexual abuse by a family member and then losing all of my self esteem while in college when I got alopecia. But when it is all said and done GOD is so GOOD! Yep I just put all my ish out there and I never do that. But now at this point you making me realize who cares, we truly do all have issues and just put it out there!!

[nikki]

1. I work full time and I am in grad school, the stress is really really getting to me.
2. I have not accomplished what I would have like to in my career and financial situation because of #3.
3. I became pregnant, got married then divorced way to young.
4. I am still paying for #3 and I hate myself for it.
5. I like a really clean and organized home.
6. I am not close to my siblings, they have issues.
7. I have suffered from depression and have been to therapy. I don't think it helped me much.
8. I am so very disappointed with my life right now.
9. I broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago. I miss him but I know he is not the man for me.
10. I have a hard time meeting the kind of man I want to marry.
11. The older I get, the more I believe I'll never find a good man.
12. My parents divorced when I was 10 and my mom took out all of her anger on me.
13. My dad was not in my life after my parents divorced, until I was in my mid 20's. So I have daddy issues.
14. I fear abandonment.
15. I am a loner.
16. I am in love with a man that is hundreds of miles away and I not sure if he loves me back.
17. I absolutely hated being a single mother.
18. I wish my life was different.
19. I really really wish I was married.
20. I'm short

Wow that's alot, I have more but I'll stop.

[Lord Hannibal]

1. My parents passed away in January of this year. I miss them both, especially my Mother.

2. I uncomfortable sharing much about myself because I believe people want to have "the goods" on me rather than understand what makes me tick.

3. I'm bi-racial, which has coloured my view of people and society, especially given that I don't look like what I am. There've been times when I didn't like white people, black people or either at once.

4. I've never gotten over the death of my ex-girlfriend.

5. My parents were distant, cruel and emotionally abusive people. This is the main reason I'm nervous about having children.

6. I don't believe that love comes with terms and conditions, nor do I believe that love is blind, or constant. People aren't blind or constant, so how could it be?

7. I perceive sound in colour, which is to say that noises "sound" green, yellow, red, blue, etc., to me.

8. I believe that some groups of people are inherently more intelligent than others. Nonetheless, I have serious problems with stupid people.

9. Many of the things I most enjoy now are things I was denied as a child.

10. I believe that by nature, most women are control freaks who have to be right.

11. I'm an only child.

12. I'm dubious of people who are quick to suggest that others should seek therapy. ESPECIALLY PEOPLE THEY DON'T KNOW.

13. I take serious issue with anyone who attacks me instead of what I'm saying. And I don't let it go.

14. I think about Marcella every day.

15. I've been diagnosed with having OCD ... but I enjoy every minute of it.

16. I'm both emotionally indecisive and an emotional absolutist. I can like and dislike the same person within 10 minutes but I like hard and dislike even harder.

17. I hold grudges.

18. I think passive aggressive people are cowards.

19. I hate it when people appoint themselves as experts on topics because of their experience, but are the first to discount opinions they disagree with that are also based on ... personal experience. That doesn't make any sense.

[Christen]

I grew up in a big happy family with 6 of us in the house
then my granny died
a few years later my dad died
my brother got killed in an accident when I was 17
and my sister died last year after she got a bloodclot after a minor surgery
now it's just my mom and I
I worry about something happening to her on a daily basis
I'm 26 playing mommy to a 13yr old, 11 yr old and 5 yr old
sometimes I feel selfish for not helping my brother in law as much as I could
But I have no major wants
I have great extended family
I have fantastic friends but I want closer friends
I'm the one everyone depends on
but I'm not sure who I'd really call when I have an issue
In spite of all of that I feel like I have a REALLY blessed life

[Meek]

I love the randomness of this post.
I'm sad right now.
I have a loving and supportive boyfriend.
I can be simple and profound at the same time.
I despise ignorance.
I'm lazy.
I know I am more aware than anyone else around me and that scares me because I don't think I am that 'aware'.
I only know two happily married couples and that bothers me.
I am a serial lurker.
I am confident but it is often confused with conceit.
My mom is sick and she won't tell.
I am VERY observant.
I think too much.
I want to tell my dad that he is a loser.
I had surgery yesterday.
I think I am strong and weak at the same time.
I don't challenge myself enough.
I know that I am a work in progress.
I don't relate to women my age.
My parents divorced when I was three.

Saying I that many times made me feel better and I feel bad about that.

[LT]

1. I am often crippled by my desire for perfection
2. My family drama could be on Jerry Springer any day
3. My immediate family consisted of four other people
4. My grandma died
5. My mother died
6. My dad left the continent and can't come back (see #2)
7. My brother has been here since age three came here legally got A's in school, started and thrived in college but can't finished cuz of these doggone immigration laws
8. My dad neglects me
9. Growing up I never felt like I was good enough for my mom. Excellence was expected not praised, anything less was punished.
9. I had therapy and lots of prayer for my issues
10. My cousin died of AIDS
11. My aunt died of AIDS
12. 1/3 of the country where I grew up has AIDS
13. Neither of my parents have ever been a healthy long term relationship (see #2)
14. I believe in blessing and praying for those who persecute you
15. i have some fantastic friends
16. i am smart
17. i am pretty
18. i am resourceful
19. i have a big heart
20. i give people too many chances
21. i am an eternal optimist

[Roslyn Holcomb]

Hostess, I never know what goes down either, and I'm here at least a dozen times a day. I guess I'm oblivious.

"3. My siblings and I share different values. There is no family loyalty. We are not close."

Jazzy I've got this one too. I've tried to fix it, but I think it's beyond repair. It hurts a lot.

[heartdrops]

This is therapeutic!
1.I have a serious problem with dirty bathrooms.
2.I have serious requirements for eating eggs outside of my frying pan.
3.I am obsessive compulsive - so much that it gives me a migraine.
4.I can be mean and vindictive when I want to be.
5.When I love, I love hard.
6.I have been called conceited. It might be true.
7.I am somewhat self conscious about the fact that I am skinny...excuse me, slim.
8.I think I know it all sometimes.
9.I take corrections and I am open to most opinions.
10.Provided the delivery, I am open to criticism
11.I can't STAND people who are followers.
12.I have an issue with people who brag.
13.I suffer from migraine headaches.
14.The above worries me, because I have an aunt who had them. She is no longer with us. I am so much like her, and my fear is that...God forbid.
15.I question everything.
16.I love God and Jesus.I am struggling to perfect my relationship with those two men.
17.I can be envious.
18.I love to give advice when asked.
19.I don't have one personality. It all depends on the type of day I am having.
20.I know I am blessed, but boy am I selfish.

[cathy]

1. My mom is a paranoid schizophrenic.
2. My baby sis is a schizophrenic.
3. My middle sis is clinically depressed and now diagnosis with schizophrenia.
4. My father is selfish and simple.
5. I raised myself and my sisters and feel guilty that they are sick and I am *well* per se. I feel like I didn't do a good enough job.
6. I love hard and hurt harder. I "do too much" in relationships.
7. I have a strong relationship with God.
8. I am a great listener.
9. I mourn for my family on a daily.
10. My thyroid is the devil.
11. I am a great friend to a fault.
12. I am a serial loner.
13. I am smart as hell in both books and in the street. I wish my paycheck reflected it.
14. I have a lot of common sense.
15. Some days I think I may be schizo and my family is well and if I take a pill it will all make sense again.

[nik]

ooh we're doing lists?

1. I'm in my late 20's but there's a 68 year old woman living inside my mind.

2. My father also killed my mother, then himself.

3. I'm a hairline away from bipolar disorder. I flip on & off like a light switch.

4. #3 happened in front of my eyes, before I was old enough for a training bra.

5. I'm still a daddy's girl.

6. I used to look like a model, then my mental issues began to affect my eating habits, so I now look more like Queen Latifah.

7. I start my diet over every week.

8. I'm married to a wonderful, loving, caring, attractive, doting, man who puts up with my issues.

9. I'm studying a not-so-popular-with-the-people religion. That doesn't make me any less "me"

10. I'm Southern to the bone.

11. I love my dog like she's a person.

12. I love hard. This includes family & friends.

13. I'm an artist, and I'm sensitive about my ish.

[kym]

I'm waiting to have a Lung Transplant, I call my mom and cry to her on the phone about the feeling of not being able to breath, just taking a shower is alot of work, I've been on oxygen for two years, so every now and then I get in a funky mood.

[jazzy894]

1. I grew up in a home where I was often abused physically.
2. After my parents divorce I spent my teen years in foster care.
3. My siblings and I share different values. There is no family loyalty. We are not close.
4. I am the proud mom of three kind and very smart sons.
5. Hubby and I have been married 26 years and we are still evolving. Not sure what the future holds.
6. For years I have lived in the shadows, helping my husband, sons and others fulfill their dreams because I had lost touch with myself and did not have dreams or know what my strengths were.
7. I am following my heart more and reaching out to others.
8. I am a work-in-progress. And while life is good and I have much to be thankful for, I truly believe the best is yet to come.
7.

[Hostess]

Da heck happened round here? See this is why I'm gonna have to get me one of those Blackberry things so I can feed my innanets addiction from anywhere...

I'm gonna think of my list later tonight.

[Monica C.]

Wow!

Well, let's see:

1. I'm a Black woman
2. I'm thrilled to be a mom to 2 girls
3. I'm smart
4. I fight my inner laziness/procrastination DEMONS
5. I live a healthy lifestyle, filled with healthy eating, water drinking, and distance running - but there's a part of me that wants to be that old woman playing cards, drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, and saying, "Hey, that's my song!".
6. I love the Lord (yes, #5 and #6 coexist within me - this is just me!).
7. I've been married for 7 years, and, depending on the day, either see myself married to my husband forever, or not past Martin Luther King's birthday, 2008. I need some SERIOUS couch time on this one.
8. I'm a career woman, and make what I consider to be a sh*tload of money, but the stress sometimes kills me.
9. I'm also a sugar addict.
10. I'm trying to age gracefully - trying not to trip that my beauty has faded, drooped and wrinkled.

There's so much more ... but I've said enough already!

[Kinchen]

I don't trust people. @Babs #3 is me too. Oh and I can not type or spell on IM and don't care.

[Babs]

1.I have a truly suck azz job where I am wasting my life away. I feel like I could snap at any moment.
2.I have issues regarding my weight (which is spiraling out of control due to the stress of the suck azz job).
3.My poppa was a rolling stone, which surely affects my relationships with men, and thus contributes to my spiraling weight gain.
4. My momma had me on diets starting at the age of 10 (I wasn't fat), which also contributes to my poor body image.

I'll be going to therapy at the first of the year when my insurance changes. Can't wait.

But, I have fantastic friends and faith that things will get better!

[Roslyn Holcomb]

I'm stupidity intolerant. I'm also impatient. Especially with stupid people. Oh, and I'm addicted to sugar. I commit to giving it up every Monday. Typically I fail by Tuesday. This annoys me as I'm also a perfectionist. So, I'm particularly cranky on Tuesdays.

I struggle with infertility as well. I get pissed when people make stupid comments about that.

[erica b.]

Well you know I have issues. I've had enough couch visits to fund one of my kids college educations. I'm usually medicated and taking a double dosage 2 weeks prior to "that time" for PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder... if you don't know, google it). You can time it like clock work according to my comments and the lack of blogging on my own site. If I go off, sorry. I have Serotonin issues.

[c]

My issue: And I will say this publicly...I am attracted to like minded, well educated, fabulous, strong, opinionated women like myself who challenge me to continually evaluate my thoughts and beliefs...and so I am addicted to this site.

I am told that admitting your problem is the first step :o)