Dinner was FABULOUS. I love hanging with my guy. I truly, TRULY do.
I'd like to suggest to everyone that they do something really sweet for their significant other this weekend. You know...for no reason...just because. It could be something super small but significantly major to them. Maybe you make their favorite snack or buy them a snack you know they love and put a bow on it with a little note.
Why? Again...no reason...just because.
If you don't have a significant other...that means YOU'RE your significant other. Treat yourself to something that makes you smile or do something that makes you feel blessed...just because. Be it mani, pedi, new shoes, FABULOUS meal...just so it's SOMETHING out of the ordinary for you this time of year. You know ya girl is ALLLLLLLLLLLL about the pamper effect. LOL!
What did you do tonight?
Holla atcha girl.
(THANKS ERICA B.! YOU'RE THE BESTEST GIRLFRIEND A GIRL COULD ASK FOR!!!!!!!)
Beware of Garbage Trucks by David J. Pollay How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you're the Terminator, for an instant you're probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly one can get back their focus on what's important.
Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here's what happened.
That was the first night we met our G-Baby (Gladys). We loved her from the MOMENT we saw her smile. She's so beautiful inside and out. LOVE that girl man. LOVE. HER. We are SO blessed to call her friend. She's the real deal folks. The real.damn.deal.
I did a bit of shopping today and Robby beat me home. He met me at the door and headed out to get my packages and the dry cleaning. I was wrapping up a phone conversation with Sissy when he hugged me from the back and kissed me.
Robby: Thank you.
Me: For what?
Robby: For going to the cleaners.
Me: (big azz cheese eating grin) You're welcome.
I love that man and he loved me even more when he found out we were having homemade pizza for dinner. LOL! I know how to get him grinning too.
The simple things.
I require a lot of down time and I get it. I get it because my husband respects my space and he respects the fact that I truly DO require a lot of down time. He knows me very well.
Dude...I married well and what that means is that I married someone I love and respect who loves and respects me.
I didn't meet Robby until I was 31 years old. He was 31 as well. That's why we's old now. ROFL!
Robby: Damn...we've been together a long ass time.
Me: Is that a bad thing?
Robby: You know...I don't ever think about our relationship. Is that weird? I mean...it's just there. It IS. It's not something that I have to think about or worry about. It's just who we are. Who we'll always be.
Me: That's good. Shows that it's natural to you too.
Robby: The pizza is ready.
Me: I know...I hear the timer punk. *sigh*
Today...Gladys made me cry along with a few other people. Yall know I'm a hard ass right? Unh huh. That's all a facade. In actuality...I'm soft as cotton. I just can't DEAL with people hurting. I want everyone to be okay. To be happy. If I had a wish I'd truly wish everyone could be happy. Seriously.
I wasn't okay for a long time. A LONG time. And then...I got better. I truly, TRULY did.
I had to rent a car recently and the young lady behind the counter asked me why. I told her it was because my truck was in the shop. (Yall know people just talk to me right?) She asked me was I in a car accident and I said yes and explained to her that my truck has this super sophisticated inertia thingy in it that makes it shut down regardless of the type of impact. Hell...I could slump against it hard with my body and it would shut down I suppose which makes me wonder. I asked the mechanic guy about it...I was like...I thought Landrover's were supposed to be for driving off the road. He answered by saying that no one he knows that buys a Landrover would drive it off the road. Touche. Reminded me of this summer when Gretchen and I were in my truck and I was carefully driving off road up a hill. She yelled at me...GIRL...THIS IS A LANDROVER! YOU'D BETTER DRIVE HELL! And I punched that sucker! ROFL! GOOD TIMES MAN...GOOD TIMES.
N E WAY.
So the young lady told me I should be glad it wasn't worse because when she was in an accident her car was totaled and after the insurance paid all she could do was pay it off and she wasn't in a position to purchase a new one so she had to use public transportation.
My azz felt like pure.d.shit. I felt worse than worse. I felt like the creepy person you whisper about after they say something dumb.
I said...I'm sorry to hear that and I wished her well.
Inadequate at best.
So today I'm sitting on my sofa after having a very full day and my husband hugs me, kisses me and thanks me for picking up his laundry and my appreciation for my life is HUGE. H.U.G.E. The little things point to the fact that I'm blessed. I'm more blessed than I could have ever imagined I'd be and I am oh-so-grateful.
On Tuesday I go to a new doctor for a new round of testing to see what, if anything, we can do to make sure my husband can be the father he's meant to me and I can be the mother I dream of being. I'm looking forward to it.
School is going well and my classmates are awesome. Me lub them mucho.
Jaru is better.
My Christmas list is done. Now I have to shop. :) I'm a good shopper.
My sister made me cry the other day. My nephew doesn't have Godparents. She told me the next time Robby and I are in town she wants us to go and be named his Godparents as she wants us to raise him if something ever happened to her and his father. Knock on wood that nothing ever, ever happens...but the thought that she'd want us to raise our beautiful Prince choked me up. Damn I love my family.
Cojoe is doing uber well in school and we are trying to figure out when we'll see each other next. Weezy and CeCe are doing great and I can't wait to see them as I miss my Weezy and CeCe like crazy too.
Shelly and Cole are doing MARVELOUSLY as is the rest of my friends and family.
I love life man. I truly...TRULY love life tonight and no...it's not the Coppolo Pinot Noir that I'm drinking talking either.
Question...how did you choose your children's Godparents? Are you a Godparent? Did you understand the enormity of what it means?
Reading folks lists had me kinda murky today so I had to go to my happy place. Yup...SHOES! ME LUB NEW SHOES!
Thank you guys for being so candid. I know we helped each other TREMENDOUSLY with this kind of open and honest sharing. This way...folks know it's not just them who have had to deal with difficult things. LOVE THAT!
LH wrote a post today on his site about folks not knowing each other in innernet land. I beg to differ. I "know" yall and I like what I know. Yall are my kinda people.
What do you think? Do you think you can "know" someone in innernet land even though folks can make ish up on the other side of a puter? Do you think you "know" me? Am I live? Or Memorex?
I just finished reading everyone's definitions and issues. Whew! Some of yall just as screwed up as I am. Know what that means? NOT A GOT.DAMN.THING.
Lemme say it again. SO.WHAT.
I'm not about to hold anybody's hand and whoo whoo whoo to them. Not today. Not knowing what I know.
See...it's like this. Shit happens. As yall saw from folks lists...shit happens to people from all walks of life. It happens to you, me, her, him, us, that guy right there, that girl over yonder. Shit happens. And your shit will always feel worse than his shit cuz your shit happened to you.
Wanna know how I know? Yeah...you know.
My main issue when I was deep into letting my ish define me was that I felt everyone owed me and that my validation in this world was solely based on what happened to me...and that can't be farther from the truth. FOR ANY OF US.
Who are you? Regardless of what happened to you....who are you? What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing? When is the last time you had fun? When is the last time you realized that only YOU can make or break YOU?
Quick memory...I remember once my brother broke his arm and was in a cast. He used to do push-ups with my father every day. My father still expected him to do his push-ups. I remember hearing my father say to him, "Looks like it's time you started doing one arm push-ups." And then he dropped down with one arm behind his back and started doing one arm push-ups. My brother...after a few unbalanced, unsteady starts...did them too.
Your shit doesn't excuse you from being a member of society. Your shit doesn't absolve you of basic common courtesy to those around you and...more than anything...your shit SHOULD make you focus on doing better, being better, wanting better. FOR.YOU.
After I read through yall's ish...I thought back on some of the comments I have taken exception to recently and it made more sense. What I can't figure out though is how it's clearer for me after just reading a few snippets than it is for you when you should know you better than anyone and I'm just a person from the innernets.
(I need a personal assistant. I'm sitting here writing and I keep thinking of all the stuff I have to do and I'm getting tired just thinking about it.)
I know how hard you can be on yourself. I know. I know sometimes you think the worst things about yourself. I know. I know you hide so much of yourself because you're afraid of what people might say if they knew...but if you've learned anything from me...I hope you've learned that people, for the most part, are much better than we give them credit for being.
I have met some of the most FABULOUS people on these here innernets. People that I never would have met because they were out living their life while I was out living mine. People I wouldn't have said two words to and vice-versa because of being unsure of how a person is behind the smile. Reading what people write and their thoughts, ESPECIALLY when they are being passionate (It's hard to "photoshop" when you're being passionate unless you're pathological.) is a really good way to get to "know" them and I'm so glad that I've gotten to "know" as many of you as I have. Yall good people bruh.
(Damn I'm tired.)
I could hear some of your inner demons as I was reading what you wrote.
1. You're a fat ass and not good enough.
2. You'll never meet a man who will be good to you.
3. You're crazy just like them.
4. All men are dogs.
5. Don't let a damn weak ass woman tell you what to do.
6. You're not good enough and never will be.
7. You're better than everyone so you should listen to no-one.
8. You're going to die any day now.
9. Don't do that...you could get hurt.
10. No one loves you because you're NOT.GOOD.ENOUGH.
Yeah...I heard it. I certainly did. And if I ever heard anyone say it to you I'd slap their asses sleep...then woke...then sleep again. And I am sooooooooo serious. I'd beat their azzes to within an inch of their life and I'd do it dirty too. I'd trip them down when they were carrying some ish and duct tape their hands, feet and mouth. And then...I'd beat the shit out of them with long azz welt creating switches. I'd get Grandmother on that azz. Humph. Nothing I hate worse than a mean bully talking shit. NOTHING.
But I can't do that if you're your own mean bully cuz that means I'd hurt you and it's the last thing I'd want to do.
So...you gotta do it. You gotta kick that bully's azz that is inside of you limiting your living and holding you back. You gotta do it...just as I did and before anyone asks...nope...SIP is not my inner mean bully. SIP loves the HELL outta me and he'd tell you that if he wasn't still sleep.
Aiight...I've said all Imma say on this right now cuz I want it to sink in. I want you to think on it and then think on it some more...and then...I want you to come back and do your list from a whole other angle. I want you to answer these questions:
1. What are you good at?
2. What do you enjoy doing?
3. When is the last time you had fun?
4. What has always been your DREAM?
5. WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE?
Oh...and say bruh...CreoleInDC loves the FUG outta you. Yeah I said it.
My husband and I were friends with another couple. She became more of my friend and the husband was more of the friend of my husband. They got a divorce and my friend is pretty miserable because she was really hurt by her husband cheating on her. He and my husband arre still friends. It has been about a year now and we went to dinner with the husband and one of his friends recently. The friend was 26. Before the appetizers arrived she excused herself to go to the bathroom. When she returned she sat in his lap and kissed him embarrassing the hell out of us because everyone was looking at our table. I excused myself to go to the restroom and texted my husband and told him how mad I was. My husband texted back to say that there was nothing he could do. I told him I was ready to leave and he said I was overreacting. When I returned to my seat I didn't say much of anything else and when we left my husband and I got into an argument. I don't feel like he should continue being friends with this guy and he doesn't think I'm being fair and said that he would never ask me not to continue being friends with any of my friends.
A person who you get along with. Yall laugh and joke and have really good intelligent conversations with. THEN...you find out something CRAZY about them. They don't know you know. Can you REALLY separate the two? Or do you find yourself pulling away because you don't wish to be associated with such?