I walked up and down this airport for 15 minutes wearing some SERIOUS thugwear looking for something I could eat. WELCOME TO THE SOUTH!
It's all my own dang fault because I ran out of time to pack me a nice healthy mix of my kinda snacks so I'm mad at me. Or SIP. Well...since SIP is me...hmmmmmm....
I sat on a row with a lovely woman who got her heart broke a year and a half ago. The pain is still there and it's still very RAW. What do you say to someone like that who you can tell is a lovely, lovely person and doesn't believe they will ever be able to try again?
She made my heart hurt.
I brought my portable external harddrive with me because I thought that's where I'd placed my "Burn Notice" season pass.
I was wrong and consequently BORED AS HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm finished my Merry Christmas cards and was gonna do my Happy Holiday cards on the plane...the gold ink on the light green envelope looks like crap. YA HEAR THAT JEN! YOU'RE GONNA HAFTA SQUINT TO KNOW THE CARD IS FOR YOU!
Last year the first person to send me a Christmas card was that damn Hostess. I threatened to kill her azz with chopsticks. This year the first person to send me a Christmas card?
Hostess.
That heffa. Damn date stamp said November 25. WHO DOES THAT ISH? WHO IS THAT FLAWLESSLY ORGANIZED? I'm kicking her azz on the 14th.
Everyone that works in this airport should never, EVER eat at this airport yet I saw 4 people enjoying a meal in their uniform outside of the Wendy's/McDonald's/Taco Bell section. They were laughing and having a good time eating up a mess of mess.
Finally found an Au Bon Pain. Got a turkey sammich and some chicken noodle soup. I ate the innards of the sammich and tried the soup. TRIED the soup. After I tossed it..I had a $5 fruit cup. *sigh*
Is it just me or do men in the South holla much more than men up North? I've been hit on three times in only 45 minutes.
I can't respond to any of my emails unless I do webmail on this network. Wish I'd known that BEFORE I downloaded my emails to Entourage. Now I'm stuck with this dang annoying beep as it's trying to send the emails I'd replied to. You know...cuz I'm smart and all-a dat.
This White guy in a suit just walked up and asked me could he charge something up on the outlet I'm stealing airport juice from. I smiled at him and said, "Of course!" and moved my bag out the way.
The conversation that followed:
White guy in suit: So how's your day going?
Me: FABULOUS as usual. Yours?
White guy in suit: WELL I HEARD THAT GIRL! (Insert imitation stereotypical Black girl neck roll here.)
Dear White people:
Stop doing that shit.
Love,
Monica Mingo
In my next life I wanna be a coconut oil fairy. What's that you ask? Someone who flies around with coconut oil in her palms and smears coconut oil on crunchy hair. I ain't never SEENT no hair look ASHY before until just two minutes ago. I'm still looking in the direction the hair went so I can see it again if she comes back round this way. Just...EW.
I put some new ish on my hair last night. I shouldn't have. Don't you just HATE when you do that? LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE DAMMIT!
CNN is on in the airport. I'm listening to my iPod.
This older White couple has a cute little girl with them. She is Asian. THEY ARE LETTING HER ACT A COMPLETE DONKEY'S BUTT! She has them WRAPPED and KNOWS it.
This dude pulled out a cellphone so big I thought it was his house phone. Playa is FIRMLY stuck in 1997 complete with a brim and a flee market Pucci sweater. I ain't mad at the gleam on his shoes however...he obviously takes pride in his "LOOK."
Thanks for all the emails about Oprah coming to DC. I know. I was trying to keep it quiet so I could see if I could score me some tickets. LOL! Sounds like the cat is waaaaaaaaay outta the bag as I have received fiftylleven emails regarding. Emails that I can't RESPOND TO cuz I'm dumb.
Chick just passed me by with the hottest azz shoes on. They are sooooooooo fiya! How in the hell she's wearing them traveling I don't know. Guess her feet don't swell up on the plane as mine do hence the kicks.
I LOVE PEOPLE WATCHING! DON'T YOU?
GOTDAMMIT! JUST GOT WORD MY DANG FLIGHT IS CANCELLED! GOTDAMMIT ALL TO FLIPPING HELL AND BEYOND!
