I don't listen to the Steve Harvey show and I'm sure that's not a surprise to any of you. First off...I ain't gotta be anywhere early in the morning and I don't listen to the radio in my home unless the power is off due to weather and I have my emergency crank it up weather radio on. I don't live under a rock so, of course, I've heard of the Strawberry Letter but can't say that the amount of um...INSTRASTIN jargon from one has ever made me do anything other than wonder WTF and WhoTF.
Seriously.
Well...I'd heard that Mr. Harvey's new special was the funniest thing EVER so I gave it a go. I was in a foul azz mood so I'd hoped it was just the thing I needed to get me outta my funktified state. Hey...a good laugh always gets ya going right back in the right way right?
So Robby...being the ever loving and supportive husband watched it with me. We each had a glass of wine. I'd purchased the show earlier on iTunes for a mere $8.99 and was feeling pretty good about my steal of a deal cuz usually movies on iTunes that I purchase are $19.99.
GO ME!
(Poor little delusional, distracted me. *sigh*)
When I saw Mr. Harvey's tie...I should have shut it down then. It had rhymestones in it.
You heard me correctly.
Rhymestones.
Moving on.
I guess I could be witty but I'll just type in what I wrote down as I was watching it. See...when I do a review I don't wanna miss something. ESPECIALLY if it's something good ya know? So I take notes and then I'm all witty and shit when I'm doing my review later based on my notes. I'm so annoyed by this shit...I can't even be witty. Imma just type EXACTLY what I wrote down.
You ready?
1. Steve's tie has rhymestones in it.
2. Newark, New Jersey. WTF???????
3. Chinese tattoo! Finally something funny! Black folks don't read Chinese so it could say Jigaboo on yo neck or SHIT HERE!
4. The strawberry letter was just um...well...gross. It was funny till he go to his solutions. His solutions went too far and were very UN-funny. I mean really. Who are we? Teenage boys?
5. Michael Vick is where his azz needs to be. Fuck you Steve Harvey.
6. So...um...the whole show seems to be about Black stereotypes. Is it okay because a Black man is saying it? Doesn't anyone else find this shit annoying?
7. Um...Black people don't know nuttin bout the Space Program cuz Black people ain't astronauts????? Da hell? Can you say Mae Jemison you ignant fuck???????? As in DOCTOR Mae Jemison. Dude...I HATE you.
8. *sigh* The penicillin pee? ARE YOU SERIOUS?
9. Maybe something is wrong with me cuz this just isn't funny to me AT.ALL.
10. The audience.um...I wouldn't fit in.
11. My Grandmother says that too: Best thing you can do for poor people is not be one of them.
12. If you ain't got money for no wedding, just get married. Okay...that was the truth and got a mild chuckle outta me.
13. Wow! I learned something! I learned that with something called a Track Phone I can have any area code I want as my phone number! GO ME!
14. Do you know how many shades of green there is???????? (This was said in conjuction with a description of his niece's ghetto wedding.)
15. *NOTE* Didn't Ced the Entertainer do a joke about the women going down the aisle advertising????? Is Steve BITING?????
16. This was funny to me: Lucas McCain...The Rifleman's granddaddy. That's who he felt John McCain reminded him of.
17. Steve Harvey should NEVER talk about politics. As in EVER.
18. They shoulda kept his azz in Africa.
19. CLICK...
This was after I received a text from TravelDiva letting me know that Prince Jordan was in a car accident and I had to cut Steve the FUG off and call and check on Jordan. Steve ain't funny and Jordan could be hurt. I got bigger fish to fry.
I said all this to say...um...if you think my kinda humor is YOUR kinda humor...this Steve Harvey mess is just that. A MESS. The people who love him can KEEP him. I'm bout to delete this ish off my iTunes. I mean REALLY. I coulda rented the ish but hoped it would be funny. Ced the Entertainer? Funny. Steve Harvey? HOT.GEECHIE.MESS.
I don't get him. Sorry...this ish was NOT funny to me.
AT.ALL.
But maybe it was because I was already in a foul azz mood.
Or maybe NOT.
NEVA.AGAIN. will I be fooled. Nerp.
Not the kid.
(Insert WTF face HERE.)
