I think there is a lot wrong with dating these days and I won't lie when I say I thank God on a regular basis that He sent me my guy when he did. I mean yeah...I'm sure that dating has always has it's problems. I mean hell...I read Jane Eyre ya know? It's just that it seems to be a perfect storm of events right now what with Black males in NY having an unemployment rate of 50%. That ish just ain't right. TELL ME IT'S RIGHT! I DARE YOU!
N E WAY...
A lot of dating woes can be traced to the fact that guys think they are every.single.thing when they are the most fugged up things walking around. The thing that keeps these kinds of dudes afloat however, is that they have perfected the art of getting up in the head of women who have their own doubts about themselves in the first place. A bit is already unraveled and they end up tearing themselves to shreds by providing the evidence that they never believed they were worth anything better anyway.
And that cycle continues.
Just like a lot of dudes ain't shit...a lot of women ain't shit either. And a lot of them are CLUELESS to the fact that they SERIOUSLY ain't shit.
I remember hearing someone say that a dude didn't seem to show any interest in them and I asked them, "Well? Are you interesting?"
And I didn't get an answer. I thought about what I knew of the person and, to be honest, she's not all that interesting. She goes to work. She goes out with her friends. She goes on occasional dates. She doesn't seem to be well read, smart or up on current events. I've never seen her take more than a perfunctory interest in politics other than saying she was for Obama. She's never expressed why. She never seems to talk about anything but about finding a man. Finding a man. FINDING A MAN.
And it makes you wonder what she talks about when she's WITH a man.
Sports? Nerps. She ain't into that either...I think. I guess. Hell...I don't know cuz, to be honest, I've never thought about her all that much cuz...as I stated before...SHE AIN'T INTERESTING.
How in the HELL are you going to hold someone's interest if your azz ain't interesting? How in the hell are you going to make someone want to spend time with you if you can't contribute shit to the conversation other than picking out a DVD? What do you talk about if you don't know shit?
How do you feel about global warming? What about the economic crisis? How do you feel about education reform? Health care reform? Do you even know WHY we were taken into Iraq? What about Afghanistan? How do you feel about the environment?
Do you give a damn about anything other than yourself and finding a man?
Which you WON'T find.
Cuz your azz ain't interesting. Not in the least. And hell...I know DOCTORS who are single. DOCTORS. And they are INTERESTING!
Gossip ain't current affairs playa and I doubt if you're a supermodel twin so that it becomes unnecessary for you to be interesting. You seriously have to keep a guy's interest and if a man thinks you're textbook typical there is nothing worse in his eyes. He might as well call you a chicken head even though you have a 9 to 5 sitting behind a desk where you have NO.AMBITION. to do better...be better.
Lemme tell you something about that kinda life. Nobody wants to see themselves in a life with someone who doesn't challenge them or make them want to be a better person. Nobody. AND...
IT WILL BECOME BLATANTLY OBVIOUS THAT YOUR STANCE OF THINKING YOU ARE THE SHIT IS MERELY SMOKE AND MIRRORS.
Some guys think too highly of themselves and some chicks think too highly of themselves too. Most folks look to come up with the next one and if you're the come up...wow...I'm scared of your predecessor.
The cool thing about this, however, is that as soon as you realize you really AIN'T shit...you can do better...be better. Pick up a book. Watch a press conference. Listen to NPR. Have more going for you than what you THINK is sex appeal cuz that's what every other chick who ain't interesting is trying for too cuz they know they ain't got shit else to stack up.
And then...maybe...just MAYBE...someone will stick around long enough to watch a season change with you.
To be continued...