I've had a pretty hectic Monday considering Mondays are usually my off days. I had to pick The Robinator up from the airport for 1:30 and my first appt with my new acupuncturist was today. On top of that I'm in edit hell and getting ready for travel on Wednesday (which up until 2:30 today I thought wasn't until Thursday...*sigh*)
I found my new acupuncturist on my medical insurance's website. Our plan doesn't cover it...OF COURSE...so they have this discounted program we may take advantage of. So...the price was usually $100 but was discounted to $75.
I stalked the list and did some serious research on them until I found the most qualified of the group within 10 miles of our home.
And old girl is QUALIFIED. Trust. In fact...she's a doctor of Chinese Medicine.
When I arrived I had to fill out some information and then she came out and lead me to her office.
Once in her office she asked me a bunch of questions and then she put a small pillow on her desk in front of me with a clean tissue on it. I put my hands on it and she held my hands in hers.
Doc: Are your hands usually cold?
Doc: What about your feet? Are your feet usually cold?
Doc: Do you get cold a lot?
Me: (Looking down at my long sleeve t-shirt that I wore cuz I knew I'd be in a doc's office and glancing at my bag which held a wrap AND a cardigan.) Um...yes.
Doc: Do you ever have sweats? Like at night? Probably not huh?
Me: No ma'am.
Doc: Are you anemic?
Me: *sigh* I bet you already know the answer to that huh?
And then she asked me more questions. Questions about my eating habits and questions about the frequency and um...HURRIEDNESS of my bowel movements. Questions about my Midol week flow. And then...she told me to stick out my tongue.
I answered all of her questions and then she turned around and called my attention to the wall of charts behind her and broke some Chinese medicine down to me.
It sounded like this...bloogedy bloogedy bloogedy boo bloo.
And then old girl told me it sounds like I'm cold in the uterus and that's why I don't have a hospitable environment for my embryos to implant.
But I was really thinking...(in Scooby Doo voice) Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrruuuuuuu????????
The Uterus has to provide a hospitable environment for the developing embryo. There has to be sufficient warmth and nutrition available for proper growth and development. If conception has occurred, the embryo has less than a week to implant into the uterus. Implantation into the uterus provides a direct link to blood vessels, which supply vital nutrients to the developing embryo. This link has to be maintained until the placenta is formed at about 3 months into the pregnancy. The Uterus has to be able to support the development of the fetus directly in the beginning and then by supporting the placenta for the rest of the entire pregnancy. Any weakness in the Uterus will result in miscarriage (spontaneous abortion) of the fetus. But first the Uterus has to be able to allow for implantation to occur. A very common cause of Infertility of modern women is invasion of Cold into the Uterus. Modern American women have a fondness for cold drinks and cold foods. We are a Nation of people who put ice into every thing we drink. Even if we live in warm climates, we can still be exposed to Cold pathogens, even in summer! This happens quite frequently because Americans don't like to sweat or to be hot. If we are outside in the summer months and work up a sweat what do we do? Jump into a swimming pool, go into air-conditioned cars or houses, drink cold drinks immediately subject our bodies to extremes of temperature. If we are sweating, our pores are open and our body is cooling down naturally. If we enter into the Cold or drink Cold drinks, our pores will slam shut trapping moisture under the skin. ( This leads to other problems discussed elsewhere). However, if a woman is menstruating, a channel has been opened directly into her womb. Cold has an easier time entering the body and going deep inside. Cold that invades the womb, will prevent an embryo from implanting or remaining the time needed to fully develop. Even though fertilization may occur, a pregnancy won't come to term. A woman usually can tell when she has Cold in the Uterus because heat feels very good when pressed against her abdomen. This can be heating pads or hot baths. She might also have a craving for hot drinks.
A condition known as a "cold uterus" means that the uterine lining has not responded appropriately to the warming hormone (progesterone). The vessels which supply blood to the uterus are constricted as a result of this "cold" response. Women with this diagnosis often have a combination of patterns of kidney yang (the warming energy) vacuity and blood stasis. They will often have premenstrual low back pain, cramps which respond to heating pads, and clotty menstrual blood. Prescribing warming herbs and invigorating the blood will help resolve this pattern.
Monitoring the basal body temperature gives immense information regarding where the imbalance occurs as well. Temperatures which exhibit no biphasic pattern at all and are relatively low (around 97 degrees Fahrenheit) and are accompanied by cold signs reveal a diagnostic pattern of kidney yang vacuity. Remedy: supplement kidney yang. A biphasic, ovulatory pattern will begin to emerge, and reproductive hormones respond accordingly. A monophasic pattern of high temperatures which are accompanied by heat signs will respond to yin supplementation and clearing of vacuity heat.
A sawtooth, erratic pattern of temperatures means there is not enough hormonal regulation occurring to normalize the temperatures. Most often this will be accompanied by symptoms of liver depression qi stagnation, a pattern which occurs as a result of maladaptation to stress. Women who exhibit no pattern at all to their menstrual cycles often have liver qi stagnation as well. One month the cycle may last 35 days, and the next month it is 26 days. There are severe premenstrual signs some months, and other months there are almost none. The problem most assuredly lies in the liver qi (i.e., stress.) and its associated endocrine effects, and the remedy will be to course the liver and rectify the qi.
So yeah...looks like I have a cold uterus and she needs to open up the flow of qi (energy pronounced chi) to my uterus and warm it up.
Into the treatment room I go and she proceeds to work her magic. It hurts me because I'm a punk and not used to being hit. Or...not used to being BRACED to being hit while I'm coldly calculating where my blow is going to land on YOU next. (Yeah...I'm rowdy some days)
So she's calmy talking to me and whatnot cuz she's one of those calming kinda folks. Sticking needles in my ear, between my eyes, round my elbows, big veins by the thumbs, belly and legs. Then...she turns the light out and tells me no phone and to take a nap for thirty minutes.
She closed the door behind her and I lay there MISERABLE for thirty minutes.
Because I was cold.
Robby: (In Dave Chappelle as Rick James' voice) COLD-BLOODED!
Lord hear my prayer.