I got into a pretty deep conversation with someone recently about something they did to someone they love. I didn't understand why the person would do such a thing and continued to listen hoping I'd eventually understand.
As we talked, I remembered other things I knew about the person and the picture became so clear. So very, very clear and I broke it down for them in a way they'd not pieced it together before because they were so close to the flames.
See...the person had been hurt so badly by someone who was supposed to love them unconditionally and, when that relationship was over...they continued to deal with everyday life while putting on a brave face for the world. Showing up, doing what they were supposed to do and continuing on.
FOR YEARS.
As these things go, life got better. They rebuilt their life, moved, continued on. They got a new job, got promotions, more money, all the things that pointed to their having a really good life.
And then they met someone and fell in love and that band aid on their heart got ripped off from the swelling it did from being in use again in that area.
Underneath the band aid, that old wound had simply festered under the scab and then they started picking at the scab and releasing all those old feelings...magnified...cuz they'd never dealt with the pain before.
The person they started dating probably started labeling them as cute crazy when they asked questions like, where were you? Why didn't you answer my call? Over and over and over again. Seemingly innocent questions but not really cuz remember...they were betrayed and hurt in a way which devastated them before. Before long, however, those cute questions would manifest into pent up anger and they would lash out in ways which confused the hell outta the person they were dating because, unfortunately...they didn't know the whole story because this story was so painful, so debilitating...it was hardly EVER shared.
And that old crap they hadn't dealt with starts fugging ish up. Starts making them behave irrationally out of full on protection mode. Starts canceling possibilities left and right. Starts making people back away cuz a lot of people just don't have what it takes to help work through something they don't even know anythign about. And before long...that person bows out.
Cuz some things you can't put a band aid on. Some things you really need some serious help with or you won't have the life you want and deserve.
Therapy is medicine and there is nothing wrong with taking what you need to get better. Better on the INSIDE. You can't continue allowing things from your past screw with your present and future. You can't keep thinking that putting on a good face is working. You might fool those looking at you but you can't fool yourself EVER. When you look into your mirror before you put on the face and the clothes and do the hair...you're at your raw and you know who you are.
Make you your best you.
If you need therapy...go get you some.
Simple.
Do YOU know anyone like this? Have you ever BEEN this person?
