The hardest thing about not having babies is probably the holidays. Not just the major ones...but the small ones too. At least...I know it is for me.
See...I was raised in a home where we did all the cool holiday stuff. ALL OF IT! From stringing popcorn garlands to baking Santa's cookies to making eggnog, popping firecrackers, Easter Egg hunts, Halloween decorating, chocolates for Valentine's Day etc. My family had a BLAST!
Our way. Just us.
And so was The Robinator.
So yeah...that's the hardest part.
Sure the pain is eased a bit getting to share some of these things with the kids we love but not really you know? Never really. It's always right under the surface. Always there able to steal the joy right out of the most perfect of days.
I've been in the middle of wrapping a gift, looking at my perfect, perfect tree and it's hit me like a truck so bad that all I could do was stretch out on the floor right where I was and give in to it letting the pain wash over me and flow violently through my body only to be picked up from where I lay by my loving husband and carried to bed. Spooning me until it was over.
No words necessary cuz his pain is mine and that pain has us so connected that the only joy we can find from it is given by the other.
Today, I decided to roast pumpkin seeds the same as my mommy showed me how decades ago. I figured the Godson would love to carve the pumpkin provided he have definitive instructions to make sure it wasn't something offensive. LOL! I put the pumpkin in the sink and washed it off well.
Next up was to trim the stem to a height where I could put a bowl over top and trace a perfect circle to cut out the top.
Then...I cut out the top.
Remove the seeds.
Clean out pulp.
Melt two teaspoons of butter and toss seeds with the butter, Creole seasoning, garlic powder, and cayenne pepper.
Spead on a cookie sheet and bake at 300 degrees for 45 minutes and VOILA! Roasted pumpkin seeds just like my mommy made for her babies. For me.
I served ours on the deck with a gluten free beer for my guy and a glass of organic wine for me.
Our Godson will carve the pumpkin tomorrow. His diabolical mind needs to grasp the concept of NON-OFFENSIVE in a way which will probably be BORDERLINE offensive if I know him. LOL! I will walk away shaking my head and his Unca Robby will DIE laughing.
Ya just gotta love this life I live.
Warts and all.