We were sitting around after the main crowd of people left. We'd cleaned up pretty well and were pretty much just chilling. At one point we looked around the table and pretty much just started counting our blessings. You know...just grateful that we were all doing so well. Around this table were executives with entrepreneurial spirit. From the friend who is pretty high up the food chain in the oil industry and who boils crawfish on the side for parties, to the friends who were deep in corporate America and getting their own startup off the ground and to me...a filmmaker.
We talked about challenges we'd faced and continue to face and we bounced a lot of stuff off each other as well got advice from each other regarding taxes, investments, etc. We pondered if we ever thought, back in the day in the Quad, if we'd all still be together following our dreams, helping each other, being the village we all are as it relates to family and kids, etc.
The answer was pretty much...yeah...we knew. We all knew we had a pretty unshakable bond.
A couple of months ago Shelly Bean queried out loud that she was trying to figure out to do with Coley for Spring Break. She just started a new job so she couldn't take the week off to do stuff with him and neither could her parents. Spring Break camp was a possibility, of course, but honestly...that was gonna cost a grip for the week. I told her that if she couldn't find anything she wanted to do...she could send him here and I'd make sure he had a good time, of course, and she'd get a mommy break for a week.
Before I got off the phone good...his itinerary was in my inbox.
COLE'S COMING! LOL!
Yesterday was our Anniversary and Robby and I were sitting around talking about our blessings. Our village / tribe was certainly way up high on the list. We knew that should we need help with anything, we've surrounded ourselves with smart, resourceful, connected people and we've all grown together with love, respect and trust. I thought about the myriad of options all of these kids we have in our village / tribe have because of all of the connections their family and framily have and I recognize the possibilities are endless for them. I know for sure, if one of these kids say they want to be a filmmaker...they are going to start IMMEDIATELY growing in that area cuz their T-Monnie will put it right up in front of them. We discussed how cool it was that Shelly could send Coley here because she has options and is financially stable but...in the event she couldn't afford to send him and still needed help...we'd have done what was needed in order to make sure she still had options.
Cuz that's how we get down.
Shelly: How much money do I need to send with Cole?
SIP: *RADIO.SILENCE* *HARD.STARE*
I know someone who had to back up off a friend because the friend was single and dating. Well...the friend was a very attractive woman who attracted lots of male attention but, for whatever reason, the friend was never in a relationship. The friend always wished it would work out with Guy A or Guy B but it hadn't and the person I know got tired of the friend always bringing a new man around her children. She didn't know how to ask her friend to come to things alone and it ended up becoming an issue with her husband. In the end...her husband ended up telling her that he wasn't comfortable with his daughter seeing her with so many different men (and keep in mind...it may have only been 3 or 4 different guys per year) and it wasn't up for debate. Until she was dating someone she had a commitment with, he'd prefer her to not bring anyone over to their home.
And it didn't go over all that well.
I thought about that thinking to myself that hey...that's kinda unfair if she's single and dating and WANTS a relationship but then I guess I started looking at it from a parent's point of view and well...I guess I got it. He wanted to make sure his children's village was strong and that they saw the most positive images whenever possible. She's a good person and she is more than welcome to come over...she just can't bring over Chuck, Jack or Shawn.
I get that.
All this rambling is basically to say that I guess it's pretty important who's in your Tribe / Village and a lot of people recognize that. What do YOU think? Do you have a Tribe / Village or do you pretty much keep it immediate family only? Do you think YOU'D ever ask a friend to stop bringing casual dates around your children?