We have different people in our lives for different reasons. Life is pretty awesome that way. There is pretty much room for everyone if you make room within your family, framily and friends.
We have the fun people in our life and the serious people who give us good advice. We have career minded acquaintances and we have the health conscious friends. We have the sports friends and we have the industry people we use as resources when we need help. We have inspiring friends and we have friends who will run up on someone for you with a bat and a flashlight if need be. We have the gossiping friends. We have the fashion and beauty friends.
And...we have the nurturing family, framily and friends.
The nurturers in your circle are the ones we reach out to and find ourselves spending the most time with when we are licking our wounds. When we've been going THROUGH it and just need someone comforting to be around. Someone who will listen and tell us it's going to be okay. Someone to pat you on the head and bake you a cake. Cook your favorite meal. Tiptoe around you and keep all calm around you.
So you can start to feel better.
Because they love you.
And they just want you to smile.
You can be in the nurturer's warm embrace and have the best time ever and not give a single thought to what was bothering you before because honestly...the nurturer just helped you feel better.
No...they didn't offer a solution. Hell...most times you don't even tell the nurturer the problem. You just felt like shit and needed some woo-woo-wooing.
The nurturer is ALL.GIVING.
Because that's what they do. They take care of people and they give and give and give.
Here's the problem with that. Here's the thing that can make that go TERRIBLY wrong.
You're the problem.
Because it's so easy to abuse the feeling you get around the nurturer. It's so easy to feel like woo-woo-wooing is really all you need. That it's okay to lay it all down and rest. Relax. You've been working too hard. You shouldn't feel bad about that. It will come to you. It will all work out. Just let go and let God. This too shall pass. I can understand how you felt.
When you start getting too comfortable in that space...that's when ish implodes. Why? Because you stopped working long enough to forget why you were busting your azz in the first place.
YOU have to be strong enough to kick yourself in the pants or to seek out another source to do so. YOU need to make sure that you continue to be INSPIRED instead of co-signed and placated. YOU need to get up and get with it and realize that the nurturer is best used briefly. Not to be leaned on emotionally. YOU need to be strong enough to not slip into that lulled sense of false security and thinking that maybe...just maybe...it is too hard. What's wrong with just being? Why do I have to work so hard? Why do I want to soar?
The nurturers in our life are wonderful. They support us unconditionally and we all need that. We also need a kick in the azz sometimes to stop feeling sorry for ourselves. Nurturers, by their general loving nature, aren't going to do that. They just want whatever is upsetting you to go away.
Know what you need.
GET what you need.