I have a friend who has a new friend. They haven't known each other for even 6 months yet. The new friend is not from the area they currently live and they think my friend is pretty cool.
Because she is.
The new friend is a gay male. That's important for you to know cuz you'll end up wondering once you hear about how much he whines to a woman he's not dating.
The new friend is single and is not very happy about being single. My friend and her new friend bonded initially because new friend was going through it big time when they met from a recent breakup and well...all of my friends are pretty awesome so she did what she could to bring some joy to his life.
Drinks out a few times after work.
Invited him to a holiday meal with her family, etc.
My friend is also a mother and well...you know that mothers are pretty darn busy with their children.
Long story short, she can't hang as much as new friend would like. She enjoys the times they do get to hang out, however...but just can't hang out ALL.THE.TIME.
New friend isn't happy with the time she gets to make for him and his attitude has gotten EXTREMELY snarky and victimish regarding.
She was going to an event with some of her old girlfriends. They try to go every year. New friend asked her what she had planned for the weekend in hopes they could get together. She told him that she was going with her girlfriends somewhere on one day and that she had a family event the next day.
Dude IMMEDIATELY asked her why she didn't invite him and got jealous as hell that she was doing something with someone other than HIM. She didn't not invite him intentionally...it's just something she does with these particular friends and well...she never even thought about inviting him.
Well...he became the victim there and well...it annoyed her.
Since then and before then, she's noticed that he is extremely clingly and tends to wallow in his silly ish and wants those around him to help him wallow in his silly ish. The fact that people have lives and don't have time for that...never occurs to him and he gets hurt then mad then hurt and honestly...he bitches up pretty quickly.
The friend asked me what I'd do in that situation and I told her it never would have happened in the first place. Ain't no way someone I've known less than 6 months is going to have me feeling guilty about my life and spending time with friends I've known since high school or with my damn family or framily. I'm not the INSTA-FRIENDING kinda chick. Sure, we can hang out casually but we're not going to be all hugged up on the phone and constantly texting each other. That just ain't gonna happen.
Not with me.
CERTAINLY not with SIP.
I painted a picture for her of how it's going to go down. If she doesn't radio silence him now, he's going to keep on pushing until she snaps and goes clean off on him. Then...he's going to go into that same deep depression he was in when they met and transfer that shit onto someone else in his attempts to insta-friend them. She'll be the evil witch with a B...but at least he'll stop talking to her. HIs issues have nothing to do with her and is probably a cycle which is why he has no old friends.
Cuz really...you need to be wary of folks who have NO.OLD.FRIENDS.
Why? Why would a person have no old friends? Just who in the hell did they USED to be that nobody stuck around?
And then...I got off the phone cuz really...just hearing about his whiny azz irked the pig ish outta me and I have my own damn problems hell. Unless she wanted me to call him and tell him to stop acting like a middle school girl with peeling blue nail polish..wasn't anything esle I was going to be able to add.
Anybody ever tried to insta-friend you and it went bad? How did you remove yourself?