Apparently Don West's daughter posted this picture to Instagram. I didn't see it myself, someone posted it and it made me pause.
I've been watching what I could of the trial so far and have been feeling some kinda way about a lot of it and I guess I really haven't been able to put it into words exactly what I feel.
I know I got annoyed at the comments about Rachel Jeantel and folks going in on her vernacular and saying she looked like "Precious."
I thought that was disrespectful given what she was testifying about. I also thought it was a case of worrying about the wrong shit.
Yesterday the line of questioning about Twitter followers versus people following annoyed me and I guess my general consensus so far is that well...this shit is being taken as a big azz joke to many as well as a way to etch that color line even deeper.
That ice cream picture annoyed me and I feel like it was carefully calculated to draw a line for Don West and anyone looking to hire someone like Don West. He is being VERY clear with his Chick-Fil-A cone. This is all about business. The business of race baiting pays well for some and there are obviously codes and signals necessary to play it well.
Yup. Don West is for hire as are all lawyers. And he wants to make sure specific someones know.
IN MY OPINION.
So I have two much needed weeks of vacation until next year. I've had an incredibly stressful year (as you can remember with everything going on with school), and I have an even more stressful year ahead of me, after these two weeks. One of these weeks, I will be concluding my nephews month long visit with me for the summer. You can imagine how tiring (but fun!) it is to wrangle 7 and 9 year old boys. Understandably, for the second week, I'm looking forward to getting away, alone, on a tropical vacation.
I booked this vacation with the intent of gearing up for the year ahead by doing nothing but laying on the beach all weekend. I didn't bother bringing anyone with me, because I just need some peaceful solitude. I had a long list of destinations to choose from. The destination I chose gave me the gorgeous beaches and peaceful atmosphere I was looking for, yet was also packed with enough young Americans, that I shouldn't have a problem finding company, if I so choose.
All my friends are surprised that I'm going off alone, I'm actually pretty excited about it. I rarely get alone time. With responsibilities to my family, friends, and career, I am actually very weary of being around people 24/7/365. One of my close friends from college was particularly dumbfounded by my decision to go alone. He had me reconsidering my decision, so I told him if he wanted to join me for A DAY OR TWO, he was welcome to it, and all he had to do was pay for a flight, we could room together. It's a direct flight from where he lives, he has a pretty good job, I didn't see a problem with him joining me for a short time. I figured I might feel like doing adventure type things/partying for a couple of days anyway. I texted him the dates once I finally figured out the when and where. I didn't hear anything back from him for two weeks.
Monday, two weeks before departure, I get an email from him. It's his flight itinerary. My heart sank upon reading that not only did he plan on coming the entire week I'm there, but also that he paid $600 for the flight. I guess he saw the prices and figured if he was going to pay that much money, he'd get his money's worth. Understandable, but had he run it by me beforehand, I would've DEFINITELY expressed my desire to take some time to myself. That's my boy, don't get me wrong, but I am absolutely frustrated at the thought of having to share my oceanfront room with another dude for the whole week. This is not what I signed up for! What if I want to get my island swerve on?? :P
My options are to live with the fact that I brought this upon myself by inviting him to come, or say something to him about it. I hate to do the latter, because I feel like I would be in the wrong. But this is very precious time, I paid a lot of money for this trip, and I am absolutely disheartened at the prospect of it already not meeting my expectations, before I've even boarded the plane. What to do?
Using this video, I gave myself a trim at home. I added a few steps because I wanted more of a layer look surrounding the crown but this is the basic trim I started with.
Surprisingly I wasn't nervous. Robby was...but I wasn't. He kept asking if there was an emergency hair cut place I could check into in the event I messed up big time. LOL! That dude is funny.
I wasn't cutting my hair...I was simply trimming it so I was comfortable doing it myself. My hair is long enough and I wasn't cutting so much that I couldn't self-correct if need be. The stylist I trust to trim and not cut my hair is off having a baby and what not and I didn't have anyone else I trusted since I'm not due for another cut until September.
I think I did a pretty good job and might invest in a pair of really good shears so I can trim it myself more often.
Have you ever trimmed your own hair? Any tips? Do you do it wet or dry? I did it dry and freshly flatironed.
...and talked for almost 13 hours straight starting at 11:18 am yesterday to derail a vote in the GOP-dominated Senate. She had to keep speaking on the bill until midnight, which was the deadline for the end of the special session. She lectured, read testimony from women, doctors etc. At one point, during one story...Senator Davis almost cried.
But she kept going.
There are specific, tedious and archaic rules to filibustering and Ms. Davis never even SKIRTED on the side of wrong during the first three hours of her REMARKABLE and just flipping AWESOME stand for women. She is the perfect antithesis to Rick Perry and I damn sure hope she runs for Governor of Texas as soon as possible. TURN TEXAS BLUE!!!!!!!!
Ms. Davis became a single mother at the age of 19. She's the first person in her family to graduate from college. Upon graduation from Texas Christian University, she went to Harvard Law School and put in her time clerking, being a business owner and then got involved in local politics. Senator Davis is 50 years old.
She has championed bills which mean something, in my opinion. Everything from payday loans to protecting sexual assault victims. The bill she was attempting to derail was this one: Texas Anti-Abortion Bill - SB5
The Republicans succeeded in pausing her filibuster since she had three strikes. One of the strikes she received was for receiving assistance in putting on a back brace while speaking:
Was Ms. Davis successful in stopping the bill from becoming law? AB-SO-FLIPPING-LUTELY. Why? Because the vote was recorded at 12:03 am AFTER THE DEADLINE.
THE BILL IS DEAD.
"Today was democracy in action,” Davis said. “You all are the voices we were speaking for from the floor.”
Senator Davis is the reason I didn't go to bed last night until midnight thirty knowing I had a 6:15 am flight this morning and would have to get up at 3:30 am. Senator Davis...I thank you for being a WOMAN WHO ROARS and for the exaggeration of the already heavy bags under my eyes this morning. #TomFordSunglassEmergency
Did you watch? It was sooooooooooooooooooo awesome! It was like...AMAZING! The energy, her steadfastness...yeah...all of that. DRAMA!
My mother was a peace and loving kinda woman. My father? Not so much. I learned early on who was going to say what when it came to their opinion as to how to deal with certain things.
I was teased a lot in school because hey...kids can be dicks. It never bothered me because well...I had other things to worry about even as a child.
I remember a particularly hateful girl going in on the regular and I was pretty much tired of her azz. I ignored her and that infuriated her and she just kept trying to get in my head. I was at the grocery store with my mother and another mom told her that her daughter had told her how the girl always talked about and teased me.
My mother's eyes narrowed imperceptively to all but me. I knew her face well and recognized when she got "tight."
The conversation ended politely and we headed home. On the way home my mother asked me about old girl carefully. She then asked about some of the things old girl said. I could tell it hurt her because a lot of it had to do with the challenges she and my father had but she looked at me and told me..."The next time she says some slick shit to you, pick up a stick and knock the shit out of her ass."
AND I WAS STUNNED.
My mother didn't curse.
And my mother wasn't the one who normally give me such advice.
Needless to say, I did as my mother told me to do but it wasn't with a stick. (I should have used a stick.) I came home disheveled and told her how it went down. She told me to change out of my school clothes and do my homework.
No biggie. Nothing to see here folks.
Later that night she slipped me one of her Turtles. You had to either know my mother or watch "Everybody Hates Chris" to get how monumental this was. Her words while holding it out to me? "Don't take no shit off NOBODY. EVER."
I think about that all the time as I reflect on my parent's relationship. I wonder how it was that she could be so strong to empower me so poignantly and yet...never seemed to get there herself. I'll never forget that and I'll never be the chick who takes crap off anyone and I'm so grateful for my parents instilling that in me because I've seen the opposite in others and it hurts me to my heart.
It does make me wonder...how does one get this message as an adult if it wasn't instilled in them as a child? Is it even possible? What say YOU? Did you ever have any come to Jesus messages like this from your parents? In the world we live in where schools are straight up no tolerance...how do you have these same come to Jesus conversations with your own children?
When other people's kids are with you and your kid...how do you handle situations where they want or want to do something you don't allow but they say their parents allow?
For example...you don't allow your kids to drink soda and you're at a restaurant and they ask for soda. You tell them no soda but they can have water or milk, the same as your kids. They say they don't drink milk and that their mother lets them drink soda so they want soda. IN A MOUTHY KIND OF WAY WHICH MAKES YOUR KIDS STEP BACK THINKING YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO A SNATCH GRAB.
You don't want to make it seem as if their mother is wrong for allowing them to drink soda right? Also...you don't want your kids to think that drinking soda is even remotely a possibility since you're raising them to understand healthy living, etc.
How do you handle? Have you ever had to deal with something like this?
Did you go see it yet? I know someone who had a fascinating discussion with her son after the movie. He was puzzled as to why Superman cried after he had to kill the bad guy and she told him that it was because Superman never wants to kill. He only wants to help. He never uses his strengths and gifts to hurt. He's a good person.
Her son walked away with a major lesson that he probably wasn't even looking for at his age.
A few weeks ago I was broiling something in the oven. The skillet I'd used to sear it was on TOP of the stove. I was cleaning the kitchen as I cooked and reached for the skillet to clean it. The handle was near the back of the stove and the heat from the broiler made it HOT.AS.HELL.
I burned 4 fingers and yall...it hurt.
I immediately ran cold water over it until it was bearable and The Robinator gave me some Advil and put Neosporin on it. It hurt for days after with two blisters. I kept putting Neosporin on them daily and I let the blisters do their thing. Basically, the liquid you see inside of the blisters is the body's own medicine that helps to heal the skin under the blister. Before long, the blister turned white and got flat and now I'm just waiting for the skin that was around the blister to dry up and come off. This way...I don't have scaring.
I was telling a friend about it and she asked me why didn't I put butter on it and I told her because that's not how you should treat a burn. She shared that's how she always treats it and how her mother treated them as well. I said okay.
When air drying, I've incorporated an apple cider vinegar rinse into my hair routine. I find it gives my hair a smoothness and a shine that I used to have before these damn after 40 wiry grey hairs started doing whatever the heck they want to do in my hair.
I mix 1/3 cup of apple cider vinegar to a quart or so of water (Honestly...I put it in a dollar store pitcher and just add water to the vinegar so I don't know how much water I use. I just fill it up.) and pour it over my hair and then run a bit of plain water on it.
I'm sure most of you already do this and just keep it to yourself like yall did with the t-shirt drying method cuz you want your hair to look way better than ours cuz you're all selfish and whatnot. LOL! If you do this...how much ACV do YOU use? How often do you do it? What does it do to YOUR hair? Shelly did it last night and is all happy this merntink with her soft, shiny curls. LOL!
Yesterday things got pretty heavy around here with a few revelations from people we hold near and dear to our heart in blogland. It hurt my heart because I didn't know that about a few of the people and, coupled with all of the people I know in real life who have been raped...it's epidemic in proportion.
I wanted to address victim blaming because sometimes I wonder if the normal questions we might ask in our heads are a part of that too. Yall know who I am and the type of person I am so I will admit to each of you that when I first heard about the crime Serena spoke on, I was pissed that those lil' fuckers would dare do something like that. And then...honestly...I did wonder why in the hell that child was out there that drunk that late at night. Does that diminish my anger that those lil' fuckers DARED do some shit like that? Does it make me a bad person because I wondered about all of the underlying factors which lead up to that child being raped?
Or am I really just an inquisitive person who just wants to KNOW? Does my wondering about those other factors mean I'm blaming the victim?
Hopefully all of you who read this blog know I don't condone rape. MEN/BOYS/WOMEN/GIRLS SHOULD NOT RAPE. PERIOD. You should all know by now that I'm also the woman who, if I see something...it's going DOWN-T axe handle and all if need be.
In your opinion...when does victim blaming come into play if the person isn't on the defense team of the trial?
She adds, "I'm not blaming the girl, but if you're a 16-year-old and you're drunk like that, your parents should teach you -- don't take drinks from other people."
And Williams is also quoted as saying: "She's 16, why was she that drunk where she doesn't remember? It could have been much worse. She's lucky. Obviously I don't know, maybe she wasn't a virgin, but she shouldn't have put herself in that position, unless they slipped her something, then that's different."