Friday we discussed a dating scenario and many people said they wouldn't have left after the date was, in my opinion, disrespectful. I disagreed because well...I have bad nerves and have a low-low tolerance for ridiculous. My stance on dating, when I dated was that I would enjoy myself more at peace on my sofa with my remote rather than dealing with silly ish.
And I meant that.
I was talking about it this weekend and a friend told me of a guy she'd dated who was "too nice" on their first date. Her words...not mine..."He opened the doors, ordered a bottle of wine for us, we had great conversation but honestly...he was just too nice. I walked away thinking, he'd be someone nice to hang out with sometimes but there wasn't a romantic connection at all on that first date. There was no chemistry."
And I looked at her azz as if she'd grown 16 heads.
Too nice? Because he opened doors, ordered wine and had great conversation? She was ready to friend zone dude for being on good first date behavior? Really?
That, coupled with my still being marveled over the idea that the other guy was just testing his limits on the first date just really made me damn near roll my eyes CLEAN.OUT.MY.HEAD.
So I'm sitting there pondering this because I don't really have anything to say and I want to choose words careful enough that she'd perhaps come back to later and be like...OH...OKAY...I GET IT!
Me: You can quickly get used to being treated well if you let yourself try.
And I kept it moving cuz really...there wasn't much else I could probably say.
What is it with women who like a man with "a little edge to him?" Edge? Edge comes out when a situation has popped off that REQUIRES some edge to handle. If edge comes out on a date when you're dressed nice looking beautiful, drinking wine and having a get-to-know you conversation...well hell...yall weren't doing the date right.
You: This wine is lovely.
Edge: THE HELL YOU MEAN IT'S LOVELY? IT'S NICE! USE YOUR ADJECTIVES WISELY BEFORE I HAVE TO CHOKE YOU UP NIGELLA LAWSON STYLE!
Why would you see some EDGE on a first date and more importantly, why do you HAVE to see some EDGE on a first date in order to have chemistry?
Someone else told me once that a guy was too nice and he'd let her walk all over him. I asked a simple question that made her mad.
Me: Why would you want to walk all over him?
She got mad.
Her: You know what I mean.
Me: No...I don't. Walk all over him how? What exactly does that mean?
Her: Like...he'd let me get away with too much.
Me: But what exactly would you try to get away with? You plan on cheating or something and then you're going to get disgusted if he doesn't beat your azz? I'm really trying to understand this here.
Her: Girl nothing. I can't explain it.
And I let it drop cuz SIP was in my head flashing the WARNING, DANGER AHEAD lights.
So...I did all of that rambling to ask, again, what WOULD you walk out on? If it's not disrespect by way of talking up under your clothes too soon. What is it? Talking on his phone? Showing up without his wallet? Paying more attention to the chick with the big boobs at the table over there instead of you? Telling you that you look like you put on weight since you took your profile picture? Asking you how much money you make? Telling you he's never going to get married? Eating food off your plate? Telling you the meal was dutch when you first sit down?
What WOULD you walk out on? Because honestly...I feel I must be too old now as it seems my deal breakers must be considered outdated by MANY.
This is your Cool Aunt talking. I need some answers please cuz I'm seriously confused and hey...maybe it IS just me and I simply need to be enlightened.