Being from the South I've heard plenty of harsh advice. A lot of times I was dipped down in a hallway somewhere listening in on grown folks conversation that I didn't have any business listening to. Had I been caught...oh yeah...I would have been called a "fast tailed lil girl."
Which was the worst thing you could have been called in my world. Nobody wanted to be fast tailed. NOBODY!
I remember overhearing once that "too many women out there screwing for free."
Now...to a simple brain...that sounds like the woman speaking was advocating for women to be prostitutes. To someone who knew her...they knew EXACTLY where she was with that. Basically...she was saying that women need to understand the power they have and that there was no reason you should be with a man who can't do anything for you. See...they were quick to peep the lil boys who were sniffing up behind you and, if they didn't have potential...they didn't have nainh problem letting you know this.
Many of these circumstances still exist but I think we've gotten too PC to say them out loud I think. Sure...when you're with people you REALLY care for, you have no reason to not say these type of things because you're not trying to let your loved ones go out like that. I've had this conversation with lil cousins fo' sho. I was on the phone with one of my cousins recently and she reminded me of something I said to her over a decade ago. I'd forgotten it, of course, but she said she always stuck to that simplistic and harsh as hell view when making decisions with matters of the heart and well...it works and worked for her. YOU would probably be shocked to hear what it was I said to her because I'd never say it to anyone OTHER than someone who flat out knows that I love them unconditionally and would do anything for them. PERIOD. I doubt I'd EVER put in print what I told her but I meant it and told her because I love her.
Same as my Elders have done with me. They can say some offensive azz, ratchet azz sounding ish but you can't pretend they aren't right. You might be hurt and mad cuz they DARED say some ish to you like that but trust...if you tried to go at them they'd be like...
"And who the hell are you that I have to watch my mouth before telling you something? I'm YOUR Uncle/Aunt/Grandmother/Mother/Father/Sister/Brother/Cousin. I want the best for you and don't give a damn how you feel if I know you're out there fucking up and you need to do better. Sitcho' lil azz down somewhere and listen. Bruised feelings ain't got shit on having a fucked up life cuz you thought you knew every damn thing. Take stock is what you need to do. Take stock and change some thangs cuz if you don't...shit is going to stay the same. I don't want my blood to be struggling for dumb azz reasons. Now go in there and bring me a cold glass of water and bet not be no Ceily shit floating in it either!"
And that's that.
Are we too PC with young adults and adults when it comes to checking their ish these days? Do you often find yourself not getting involved and not saying anything because you don't want to say the wrong thing knowing they will focus on the wrong shit? Or do you say it anyway not giving a damn?