I hate yoga. Like...HATE yoga. It's too quiet and I think some of the poses do too much. I'm not a contortionist and I can't play one on tv. I do yoga poses at home because it gives me a complete stretch but the classes? No. I don't like that. TOTALLY good on yoga classes.
I DO WHAT I WANT!
So there has been some controversy surrounding what a self-proclaimed skinny White girl felt an overweight Black woman was feeling and thinking during a yoga class. When I first read it on XO Jane...I straight up said, GTFOOHWTBS and kept it moving.
But the conversation got a bit louder among my peers as everyone seemed to be offended by the self absorption of the poor little empathetic self proclaimed skinny White woman.
Yesterday, I decided to weigh in on one of the conversations on FB about this heffa and well...yall know how I can get when I'm pissed and guess what...I'm still pissed this morning.
So...this was kinda confusing so let me see if I have it right:
A woman bumped into a journalist on the sidewalk. Journalist went off. Woman threw purse at his head. Journalist kicked her in the chest. Young man in car sees a man kick a woman in the chest. Young man jumps out of his car and rushes over. Journalist kicked young man in the stomach. Young man then punches journalist in the face. The punch knocked journalist out and cracked his skull. Police arrest young man and journalist goes to hospital. They investigate to make sure it wasn't hate crime since journalist is openly gay.
Young man is released without bail.
Okay...I think I got it now. I'm good.
This title sucks. The journalist wasn't attacked. He was out there being Billy Bad Azz kicking people and messed around and got Debo'd.
Moral of the story? Stop kicking people. You might mess around and kick Mike Tyson light.
Robby is getting sick so I'm making chicken noodle soup. E is sitting at the counter doing his homework and talking to me while I'm cutting up veggies.
Me: You just wait...one day, when you're a young man on your own you're going to get sick and you're going to wish you had some of your T-Monnie's homemade chicken noodle soup.
Me: Yup...and if your girlfriend is smart, she's going to call and ask for the recipe. She'll be all like...ring, ring, is this T-Monnie? And I'll be like...um...yes...and who is this. And she'll be like...I'm Elijah's girlfriend and he's sick so I wanted to get your recipe for chicken noodle soup.
E: If she's my girlfriend she'll know all I'll probably want is a ham and cheese Hot Pocket.
Do you live in an area affected yesterday? Did you have to go to work? Did your children have to go to school? How you guys fair? I've heard some horror stories from my friends and I can't BELIEVE they didn't shut everything down and issue a state of emergency knowing good and well what was coming.
I change my mind a lot. I might be gung ho to do something and then...I simply decide I don't want to do it. The reason I decide not to do it could be as simple as...I didn't feel like changing out of my monkey pants. I just changed my mind.
You ever meet someone who tries to make it seem as if you did something wrong just because you changed your mind?
Them: I thought you were going to the movies and that's why you weren't going to do such-and-such?
Me: I was.
Them: Well why didn't you go to the movies?
Me: Cuz I changed my mind hell!
FACE ALL SCRUNCHED UP LIKE DAMMIT!
Them: I thought you said you were coming home this month?
Me: I was.
Them: Well why didn't you?
Me: Cuz I changed my mind hell!
SOMETIMES...IT'S SERIOUSLY AS SIMPLE AS I CHANGED MY MIND! SIMPLE! SIMPLE! SIMPLE! And goodness...how dare I not inform you that I changed my mind. DA HELL??????????
Do you change your mind and feel lit's important to update everyone on your mind change when you change your mind? What if you change your mind back again?
I've reached that point in the season where I'm weary. I was talking to a stranger recently and they basically said that people who are sick of winter need to get over it because it's winter every.single.year.
(WARNING! DON'T LET YOUR KIDS READ THIS! *INSERT.EYE.ROLL.HERE*)
SIP: I wanted to punch him in the face yelling "B'DIE!" and then kick him in the shin and stomp all over his head while he rolled around on the ground screaming like a school girl getting her hair pulled by someone MAD.ABOUT.IT!
I chose to say nothing.
Of course it gets cold in the winter. Of course it snows, sleets, all of that. Doesn't mean we'll ever get SO used to it to think it's the best thing since stuffed olives. Cuz it's not.
I'm so ready for some warm sun on my skin while sitting on my deck. I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just because I'm sick of it doesn't mean my expectations are that it's going to warm up tomorrow and winter be over. Hell...I know it's not. But I'm sick of it anyway. And my feet are always cold. And why should I comb my hair when I'm just going to put on a hat?
Erica B. was passing out some stellar makeup advice to someone the other day. Something about wings and red. I almost rolled my eyes clean out my head. It's too cold for all that. I hardly even smile these day let alone put on makeup. Imma save what she said for spring cuz honestly...right now...I can't.
My theme song came on yesterday and I turned it off. Go get happy somewhere else Pharrell. I just couldn't do it.
Am I the only person sick of all this? Or are all of you those annoying..."It's winter. Duh." people too?
Since Beyonce's last album secretly dropped, the more I listen to it, the more I love it. You've all heard what everyone else has said about this album, it's sexy, liberating, honest, raw. It's all of that.
When I heard Beyonce and JayZ were opening the Grammy's, well, I already knew they were going to drop "Drunk in Love" on us. No need for me to wonder if it would be something the little kids should watch because well...information is readily available on these here internets. Even if I hadn't seen the video and heard the song it would have been easy for me to find out what it was all about.
Surfboard kinda takes on a different meaning and well...you figure that out pretty quickly.
It didn't take the internet long to explode after the performance because it was "soft porn" and the kids were up watching the Grammy's. How do we explain this to our kids? What about all the little girls who look up to Beyonce and want to be her? What did that performance teach them?
Well...it should definitely teach them that their parent's aren't utilizing technology properly because all of that could have been avoided had you added up 2 plus 2 and put your parental hat on while considering poor little woo-woo's innocent eyes. I agree it wasn't kid appropriate but I also don't trust award shows to be kid appropriate. Anything can break off. Sandra Bullock just dropped an 'F' bomb on an award show.
Not kid appropriate.
And the list can go on.
What is/was your take on the outrage? Did you have any thoughts regarding? Did your kids watch? How old are they?
Have you ever stepped in dog shit wearing sneakers? You have all of those grooves and whatnot to get the shit out of. You're hopping on one foot, trying to figure out if you've smeared crap anywhere and well...the whole situation is just a mess. You use a cleaning brush you're never going to be able to use again and some kinda something with a flat edge to scrape through the grooves to get all of the crap out of there and well...there are always STILL some bits of shit left it seems for a long, long time.
Now...what if you step in shit and then someone comes up behind you who stepped in some shit too? Do you have time to help them clean up the shit from their shoe or do you have your hands full getting your own shit out of the grooves?
On Saturday I was hanging out with a girlfriend who is going through some pretty heavy ish. Someone called them and dumped some of their ish on her. She got off the phone wondering what she was going to do to help and gave me a brief rundown.
Me: You need to worry about cleaning up the dog shit on your own shoe first before you can help someone clean the dog shit off their shoes. And...the dog shit just might be too much for you to be worried about on someone else's shoe cuz you know...cleaning dog shit off your shoe...can get pretty darn hectic to get it all off.
I'm all for helping and being of service but when you have your own major stuff going on...FOCUS. Let them folks clean up their own shit.
A girlfriend is over currently and she has this on her phone. This might be a game changer for me. It is seriously the BEST.THING.EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You put it on your phone and you get an additional two full charges from it charging your phone once you engage it.
The other night The Robinator and I were in bed and he asked..."I wonder what it is about heavy covers that make you sleep so well?" And then he promptly fell asleep.
I can't sleep without heavy covers. It's always cold in our house because I can't sleep hot...but I have to sleep under covers. Like...if it's hot and I can't pull the bed covers over my head...I'm not sleeping much. And I need darkness. I turn into a straight sleep vampire. Cold, dark, heavy.
So...I started reading up on it and wow...seems that heavy covers release seratonins which help you sleep better. They even tell people suffering from insomnia to get heavier comforters and blankets.Interesting huh? I then started thinking about how I hardly ever get good sleep in hotel rooms and well...the comforters are never "heavy" enough. I can never get it "cold" enough and well...I always know that sliver of light from the hallway is right under the door.
Then I thought about how people always say they sleep so well in our guest bedroom. Well...I know the comforter in there is way heavy because I used to use it on my bed before a tragic ink pen stain happened and it become a duvet. LOL! Yup...I slapped a duvet cover on that sucker and started using it in the guest bedroom because I KNOW how good it is.
It made me think about whether or not our guests benefit from the heavy comforter and don't even realize it.
It's that comfort thing too. Like a swaddled baby. They tell people with autism and aspergers to use them too. There is even an actual weighted blanket for sleep therapy but they aren't that attractive and they cost a grip but wow...pretty awesome if you ask me.
That's the dish that did me in. Was it good? HELL.YES! Was it worth being glutened? NOTHING is worth being glutened.
I usually make my own stir fry sauce, of course, but when I went looking for gluten-free soy sauce, I saw the sauce next to it and bought it thinking I was still in the gluten-free section of Wegman's. Turns out...I was one aisle over in the natural section where they keep the gluten-free soy sauce.
Confusing I know. I hope they change that soon.
N E WAY...
Because I thought I was in the GF section I didn't even read the bottle. I made dinner and within 20 minutes...felt like I was going to die. *sigh*
It was pretty quick too.
My body QUICKLY got rid of the food and that's the most polite way I can put that. Oh screw it...yall know me well enough to know by now hell. I got INSTANT BUBBLE GUTS! Do you hear me? INSTANT! The stomach pain was like the worst kind of cramps plus uncomfortable bloating. My head start hurting and I was hit with a wall of fatigue. When I realized that I was feeling REALLY poorly...it hit me that I felt like I was glutened.
Robby got the bottle and checked it out. Yup. My worst fears confirmed.
I started drinking water and took a probiotic. All I wanted to do is sleep. I felt sooooooooooooooo horrible!
When I woke up Sunday morning? Still felt horrid. I stayed in bed all day long and, here it is 9pm Sunday night while I'm writing this and I still feel horrid.
Only blessing is I no longer feel like this every.single.day.
I guess I'll feel better in a few days.
Oh...the sauce was delicious in the event you'd like to try it yourself.
I used to LURVE fried shrimp poboys but can't have them any longer.
My mommy-in-law is famous for her fried shrimp poboys and she made them gluten-free for me and they were soooooooooooooo good! I couldn't get French bread, of course...but we put them on corn tortilla wraps and baaaaaaaaaaby! DEEELICIOUS!
I wish I'd remembered to take a pic before we devoured them but I didn't.
Pour SmartBalance oil in a skillet and heat on medium low heat.
Beat two eggs, add peeled and deveined shrimp, pour in enough buttermilk to cover shrimp. Mix well with hand and let sit for a few minutes.
Sprinkle a layer of gluten flour on a plate. DUST this layer with corn meal. Season to taste. Mix with fork.
Stick your fingers in running water and flick the water into the skillet. If the grease crackles...it's hot enough.
Dredge shrimp in flour mixture and add to skillet.
Brown on one side for 3 minutes and turn over. Brown on other side for 2 minutes.
Add fixings to your taste to tortilla. (Mayo, mustard, cocktail sauce, ketchup, Creole mustard, etc.) Add shredded lettuce down the middle and put thinly sliced tomatoes over that. Add shrimp and wrap.
I also fried some oysters but I didn't get it right. I know what I think I need to do to make them right. Adjusting my favorite recipes from home to Gluten-free versions takes some doing. Yall know I'm funny 'bout my food so I won't stop until I get it EXACTLY.RIGHT!
When's the last time you had a fried shrimp poboy? Where'd you get it?