Like most women, I have had the uncomfortable experience of having a guy who made me feel some kinda way, let me know he "liked" me. Like most women, I've let him know, graciously, that I wasn't interested.
These situations can go well or they can go horribly, horribly wrong.
I've had a time or two that have gone wrong and it was pretty scary thinking that someone had this unhealthy obsession with getting me to like them when I knew it was never going to happen. Once, a guy had a picture of he and I in a frame and told everyone that I was his girlfriend who lived in another state. Turns out, it was one of those situations in your 20's at a party and he asked could he take a picture with me. Cool. No biggie. To know that I was his girlfriend in his head and didn't even know his name and never seeing him again ever...was kinda weird for people in their 20's ya know?
When I read about the murderer Elliot Rodger I wondered if knowing about his crime before, would have caused me to take a different course of action when I was dealing with a creep. Would it have made me to nicer to the creep? Would I have felt scared enough to spend time with the creep hoping that it would mean he would let me live even though I didn't go out with him?
Would Elliot Rodger and the lack of proper response from the police when THE BOY'S MAMA CALLED THEM, make me tell creepy dude...Sure, I'll go out with you. Anytime. Here's my number. Call me any.time.
This fool thought his behind should only get to date the hot chicks and the lack of interest of the hot chicks caused him to hate women. No telling how many nice, lovely regular chicks who may have been interested in him...he only wanted the HOT.CHICKS. I mean...where does this COME.FROM? How does this manifest? I mean...you'd think he was solo on this right? WRONG. Dude had a community of men he empathized with. They straight up seriously took the "I Hate Rachel Club" to new levels.
This dude straight up KILLED people because he couldn't get laid by a hot chick but folks get nervous labeling him as a woman hater????????????? GTFOOHWTBS! DUDE HATED WOMEN! His lil crew? They hate women too! Dude straight up wrote a MANIFESTO ABOUT HIS HATRED OF WOMEN! HE WAS STILL MAD 'BOUT SOME JUNIOR HIGH SHIT! WHERE DO THESE PEOPLE COME FROM??????????????????????????????????
I said all of that to say...nothing much. I'm just wondering out loud I guess.
Have you ever attracted the attention of a creep? How did it end? Did it change you in any way? Do you warn your daughters about creeps like this one?
I hate to be ashy. HATE.IT. My skin has a tendency to be on the dry side so as soon as I got out of the shower or bath, I pat myself dry keeping my skin a bit damp and moisturize immediately. I'm pretty anal about it and buy a new container of lotion when the current one starts feeling a bit light. I REFUSE to run out. I keep hand lotion in my purse, in the door of my truck, in the glove compartment, etc. There is hand lotion near pretty much every sink in our home so I can keep my hands moisturized properly.
Yesterday, Shelly asked me for some lotion for her hands. She was digging around in another bag of mine and pulled something out that she could have used.
Me: No...I have the good stuff in my purse. Hold on.
I know she was looking at me like I was crazy because she was about to use some Aquaphor and well...that stuff is super good too.
But it wasn't as good as the good stuff I keep in my purse just for hands.
I have issues about lotion yall.
I thought about that and where it stems from and I realized...I get it from my mama. NOTHING was worse to her than ashy knees, elbows, ankles, etc. She was the type of mommy who would lick her thumb to wipe some ash off your face before I started running screaming from her when I saw that thumb headed my way cuz really...that's kinda gross. Lady...you just wiped spit on me. NO. LOL!
She kept a lil container of Vaseline in her purse and had no problem having a wax on/wax off moment no matter where we were. You'd close your eyes and she'd paint you shiny right there, ear lobes et al. We were a NO.ASH family. My brother will be with me somewhere and look over and say..."I know you have lotion in your bag, huh Monnie? Answer? Yup. Sure do.
Today I find that this body moisturizer is my fave: CeraVe Moisturizing Cream
Do you have anything that you KNOW you get from your mama? Anything you simply won't compromise on? Super fluffy towels? Chocolate hidden in a basket? Peeling an orange a certain way? LOL!
And...she now has MAJOR guns! LOL!
Let me tell yall how awesome my girly is. Wait...I just did huh? LOL!
If you're in Richmond and need a jumpstart...GO SEE AMY!!!!!!!!!!! Tell her I sent you and you'll get 0% off and she'll give you 10 extra burpees to do! LOL!
She started studying for the LSAT and applied to her dream school.
She got in.
She packed up her life as a single mother of two daughters and moved.
As with anything worth having...it wasn't easy. There were challenges.
Challenges she ALWAYS met.
She went to law school.
Her daughters went to new schools, made new friends, had new experiences.
She just graduated.
I'm so proud of her I could and have squealed. So very, very proud of her. She is such an inspiration and is the true testatment to the saying...NO.EXCUSES.
I'll get to hug her neck soon and tell her in person just how proud I am of her. I mean it. I'm so proud of her...it chokes me up.
Congrats to the baddest legal beagle I know. My dawg. I love the mess outta her!
A guy you're dating buys his daughter Michael Kors' bags from department stores.
You share with him that he can get a much better deal on Michael Kors' purses at TJMaxx or Marshall's.
You don't hear from him a while after the conversation.
Turns out, he had a problem with your telling him he could get a better deal on purses for his daughter.
Says that you were trying to tell him how to spend his money on his child and he's grown.
Is this a red flag?
Many of us are fortunate enough that we live a life only responsible for our own day-to-day maintenence. We come and go as we please and are able to live a pretty good life knowing that the money that comes into our home is earmarked just for us. Anytime money is going out...it's for our own benefit.
Many of us are on the exact opposite spectrum of that and have family members we have to help supplement or they won't have the basics in life that we know we need to have in order to live in a non-desperate kind of way. You know...things we want our loved ones to have. It could be as basic as electricity or water because for some...those basics can get too costly from time-to-time depending on what's going on.
I know a lot of people who have family members who depend on them and it doesn't really seam fair sometimes but I can't imagine that person NOT doing what needs to be done so their family member can have the basics. It's always a conversation I have with one ear to the ground because I LISTEN seriously as I've had experiences both from being the person needing and being the person giving. There is a connection there that you just can't cut sometimes and yes...you might start feeling taken advantage of but even if you do...they are probably not taking advantage of you.
You are probably their only option.
Could you live with EXTRA creature comforts knowing that a loved one was going without a basic necessity?
Could you buy that new bag knowing the amount would pay the rent of a relative who was behind on rent?
When do we get to the point where knowing they are in need doesn't affect our feelings as far as thinking we work hard for what we have so we shouldn't feel guilty about A, B or C even knowing that a family member is about to be evicted or they are living without electricity or water?
How would you feel if you found out that a family member was living without a basic necessity because they didn't want to ask you? And it was a dangerous situation like...they were elderly with medical issues or there was a small child in the home? Would you still find the same enjoyment in having all that you want to have knowing they were in dire need?
Is life really more rewarding when we take our lagniappe and do for our family instead of stealing moments of material joy solely for ourselves?
Not because he didn't want his son to go to prom...but because of what the son told him he'd need.
A suit or tux.
Father: Wait...what? A boutonniere? Why are you buying a boutonniere?
Son: Because she told me that I have to get the flowers.
Father: But you just get the corsage thing for her wrist. You don't get your own flowers too son.
Son: But she told me to get it.
Father: I don't give a damn what she told you. She's supposed to get the boutonniere. Did you tell your mother this?
Father: What did she say?
Son: She said to call and tell you what I need.
Father: Oh really.
Then...the father went IN!
"I'm sick of this lil girl. I don't like her. She wants too much. My son doesn't have a job hell. His job is school. Know who pays for their dates? Me! I pay! They go to Chipotle. Her azz always wants guacamole. She too damn high class. She needs to be trying to work with him. Ask yo mama for some movie money sometimes hell. Always want snacks and shit. Know who pays for that $75 movie date? Me! I pay for that shit! When my wife and I were dating, she used to sneak in the snacks. Good snacks too. Like...she made an effort to help out somehow even if she wasn't paying for the tickets at the time. This lil girl here? Man...no. I ain't for all of this shit behind her high saddity azz. She wants a limo. Um...if that car I bought for him doesn't get yall there...I guess yall walking. I sick of her! Then they got the nerve to want everyone to show up wearing something nice to take parent pictures and shit before the prom. What kinda shit is that? I ain't going to prom! Watch...it's going to be a situation behind this damn prom shit hell."
Um...him mad. The boutonniere tipped him over the edge.
Dude has been pissed off royally since his son called about prom. He's decided that the girl is too high maintenance and his son is a fool for dating her. He doesn't have a good relationship with his son's mother so he can't talk to her about it and his wife told him to let it go and just buy the damn boutonniere cuz she's sick of hearing about it. BUT HE'S PISSED! The boutonniere is only going to cost him like $10 but he's mad about that $10. I listened. It was puzzling to me too that the young lady wasn't buying the boutonniere.
Did YOUR daughter buy the boutonniere? Did you? If you're a guy...did the girl you took to prom buy you a boutonniere?
I was with a group of male friends recently and, as always, we had several heated debates. One of the debates centered around some article we'd read about single mothers and all the work they do on their own. One guy took the article way, way personally because it irks him that the mother of his child gets to say she's a single mother and is handed an automatic sympathy card. In his words, she's not a single mother. She's single, yes. She's a mother, yes. But she's not a single mother on her own struggling to raise their son because he straight up does what he's supposed to do as it relates to his son.
He picks his kid up in the morning on the way to work and drops the kid off at school and on Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays, his mother picks his son up and stays with him at his house until he gets off work. Then, they do homework and hangout. Every other weekend, his son stays with him but it ends up his son stays more weekends than that because well...he's there on Friday nights anyway, so if he wants to stay, he stays. He has a room, clothes, computer, video games, etc. at his house and always has. He says he doesn't miss a game, a parent/teacher conference or even one of those horrible plays they are in at school when they are little.
No one assumes dude is a single father and when he tells people he has a son but isn't with his son's mother, he can tell the immediate perception is that he's a deadbeat dad. Says he always feels like he needs to defend his actions as a for real, active father in his son's life.
And he says he knows a lot of fathers who feel the same, exact way.
He says that when he made it clear that he didn't want to be in a relationship any longer with his son's mother, she TRIED to be a single mother and keep him away from his child but he took her to court and got it all in writing and now they have a polite, friendly bond because it's only always about their son.
I thought about it and I guess in that instance he was correct. The mother of his son is not a single mother in the true sense of what we've come to know single mothers to be.
What say YOU?
Your husband used to work with a woman who is known to be undercover hoochie.
Your husband told you about some of her exploits from years ago.
You're at a party and she is there.
You look across the room and you see she's MIGHTY friendly with your husband and all up in his face.
Would you EVER check her there?
Would you check your mate there?
Or would you say nothing until you got home?
The other night I decided I wanted some chocolate chip cookies. I had everything I needed but...the butter wasn't softened and had I waited an hour for it to soften...I wouldn't have made the cookies.
So, I put some water to boil on top of the stove but right before it started to boil, I turned off the stove and added the butter to a stainless steal bowl and smashed it up over the hot water until it was softened. Took about 5 minutes.
And then I made gluten free chocolate chip cookies!
How do YOU soften butter quickly?
You're dating online.
You get a message from someone you dated when you were 25.
You are now 38.
They are currently divorced, 1 child.
Seem to be doing well in life.
You know YOU'RE not the same person you were when you were 25.
Would you agree to a date?
I read someone speculate that they received a ransom note. That made me giggle. LOL!
Glad to be back up running. Almost died laughing at the reaction on Twitter from some bloggers though. PURE.HILARITY! Folks were MAD.ABOUT.IT!
Your about to be 10 year old child wants to have a birthday party.
You plan one.
He gives out invitations to his "friends" at school.
The day of the party arrives and he's super excited.
Nobody shows up.
How do you handle?
Do you think this would mess a kid up big time?
An 11 year old brings home a bad progress report.
He gives it to his grandmother.
She begins to read it.
He knows it's bad.
He goes to her bedroom and gets her .22 and shoots her in the back of the head.
She calls 911.
She's taken to the hospital.
She lives because the bullet is lodged in the back of her head.
What does one do after their 11 year old grandson has tried to kill them?
We were out and about somewhere and decided to get some ice cream. The Robinator told me what he wanted and I stood in line while he wrangled us a table. When I paid for our ice cream it was like $16 and I was blown away. I mean...we got the ice cream, but I was shocked at the price for sure.
When I buy groceries, I generally know how much it's going to cost me per week. I don't really piece it all up but I know what the amount is going to be more or less. Recently I was grocery shopping and paid for my groceries. As I was walking out the store, I remembered that I had some red beans soaking and needed some bell peppers and celery. I went back and got 2 bell peppers, 1 pack of celery, some apples and maybe 6 bananas. Quick trip. When the clerk rung me up I did a double take. It was $28. Whoa...for bell peppers, celery, apples and bananas. I mean yeah...it was all organic but that total shook me.
I don't even buy fresh blueberries anymore. An itty bitty container of organic blueberries is $7. ONE blueberry ends up costing dang near twenty cents. Um...I'm good. Frozen organic blueberries are just fine with me. Trader Joe's has a 12 ounce bag for $3.99. I buy two bags a week for our oatmeal. We barely even eat yogurt anymore because the kind we like costs $1.89 a container. I used to buy 10 containers a week. Now? Four. When Coley and Kiersten were visiting I bought a gallon of organic milk for $8 and yall KNOW one gallon wasn't enough. Whoa...
A bag of Glutino Pretzel Twists, Salted, 14.1 Oz costs $7.99 a bag. *BLINK* Bag ain't that big either. But it's one of the only snacks I truly enjoy so yeah...I get them. UGH. (I just found them on Amazon Prime Pantry for $6.39! Now that sounds like minimal savings I know but hell...I like them and saving anything on them is better than saving nothing these days right?)
Just a mess.
When we're out eating and I see a family of 4 or more I think to myself...they must be straight balling. LOL! Cuz I know how much dinner for just two costs out and about.
Things have been getting more and more expensive for a while now but dairy and produce has really gone through the roof it seems. Are you noticing it too? Have you been sticker shocked by anything in particular lately?
Well, by now you've seen or heard about Solange swinging on Jay Z in the elevator of the Standard hotel in New York. The video was obviously a recording of the security camera footage as it played on the monitor either during the altercation or afterwards while they watched it. Someone made themselves a bit of money and I'm sure there are some jobs available over there this week. Hotels like that pride themselves on privacy so yeah...allowing this to happen to the biggest celebrity couple on the planet right now is probably going to be problematic for a business which caters to clients who can afford their business.
No more major events there I'm sure.
Folks have been speculating on why it went down like it did. Mrs. Carter didn't really get involved and I'm wondering if it's simply because she had security there and expected security to do his job and neutralize the situation. She's been in the public eye her entire life and knows the ends and outs of camera placement in elevators I'm sure. She'd know they were being watched because, even if there aren't cameras they are ALWAYS being watched because people want to touch them, see them, be seen with them. Mrs. Carter is seen talking to her husband calmly while security is holding her sister back. He is responding. Then...Solange goes off again seemingly because he didn't say the right thing.
After the initial shock of seeing this go down, I was impressed that Mr. Carter didn't pop her back after she kept coming for him because I think it's a natural reaction to defend yourself and when you don't there are generally a few good reasons.
1. You love and respect the person hitting you and you wouldn't hurt them no matter what.
2. You've been taught, as a man, all your life to NOT.HIT.WOMEN.
3. You know you were dead damn wrong about some ish and felt you deserved what was going down.
4. You are used to this and it's just par for the course.
At least...in my opinion.
Now, my husband would NEVER hit a woman, let alone my sister so if my sister was swinging on my husband, knowing he'd never hit her back...I would stop her from hitting him. UNLESS...
1. He was dead damn wrong about some ish and I felt he deserved what was going down.
2. You are used to this and it's just par for the course.
3. I expected the security that I pay to neutralize the situation without my physical involvement.
When they exited the event and got in the cars, the swift convo between security and Jay Z which directed Jay Z to another car...had to either have been expressed during the walk from the elevator by Mrs. Carter or security just KNEW and didn't want to take any chances that Solange wouldn't start kicking him in the car for all the world to see. He couldn't hit the emergency lock button as he did in the elevator. So yeah...now that I think on it, dude was just probably doing his job to keep things under control and they trust him so they don't question his split second decisions. Kinda like my father telling us that if he says to hit the ground no matter where we are, we'd better hit the damn ground because it might save our life one day.
I'm more interested, however, in how it's going to go down at the Standard. I mean...this is BADDDDDDDDDD in celebrity world. Heads are going to straight up roll and I wonder if they are going to survive all of this. I mean can you IMAGINE some of the stuff that's gone down in those elevators before now? Can you imagine the amount of calls from lawyers they've received since this broke yesterday?
And TMZ...folks are always up in arms about Big Brother this and Big Brother that when TMZ is doing stuff like this. I guess it's okay if the Big Brother takes on the form of entertainment and exposes celebrity ish huh? It's just REGULAR people they shouldn't be watching right?
I know I've had a few of those family moments in private/public that I'm glad isn't being blasted and I'm sure I'm not the only person who has been directed by an elder as in, "You'd better fix your face..." before someone noticed something was amiss within your family circle.
Oh well...it happened. We'll never know why I'm sure. Mrs. Carter keeps it all on lock. That's why she deserved that "Time" magazine cover and deserved to wear whatever the hell she WANTED to wear on it. She provides her narrative and, for the most part...it works.
Just for the record, I'm the Solange in my immediate family. Folks try to keep ish from me so I don't go smooth off. I can't even sit here and tell you that I haven't been involved in a situation pretty much almost exactly like this before (except I was held back and couldn't connect). I mean...there's just certain ish you might need to be dealt with behind you know?
What were YOUR thoughts?
"Nigeria's militant Islamist group Boko Haram - which has caused havoc in Africa's most populous country through a wave of bombings, assassinations and now abductions - is fighting to overthrow the government and create an Islamic state.
Its followers are said to be influenced by the Koranic phrase which says: "Anyone who is not governed by what Allah has revealed is among the transgressors".
Boko Haram promotes a version of Islam which makes it "haram", or forbidden, for Muslims to take part in any political or social activity associated with Western society.
This includes voting in elections, wearing shirts and trousers or receiving a secular education.
Boko Haram regards the Nigerian state as being run by non-believers, even when the country had a Muslim president."
In other words they are Nigeria's honey badgers.
What's your take on this? Are you in favor of our government assisting in rescuing the kidnapped girls?
"The Young and the Restless" was my mother's favorite soap opera. She watched it every.single.day and she and her girlfriends and my Aunts would constantly discuss it. I started watching it here and there, bits of pieces of episodes long enough to know who the characters were. In college, I learned that lots of people scheduled classes around times their favorite soap operas were on and well, I guess I started watching a bit more of my mommy's favorite show. I'd record it and watch while winding down for the night and get just as excited as she did. Well...probably not AS excited mind you...but it was something to do.
It has been years since I've thought of Victor and Nikki. Well, I take that back. I was watching an episode of "Gunsmoke" recently and Victor was playing a bad guy and I smiled that I didn't know his real name because he's always been Victor to me.
I was in the grocery store the other day and this magazine was up front and center at the checkout line. It seriously made me smile. Victor and Nikki are still going strong I see. LOL! That brings me JOY!
Did YOU ever watch Y&R? Any of you still watch any soap operas? Do you record them and binge watch or do you catch them daily? Why Victor and Nikki can't keep it together?
This is my girl Queeny.
She bakes cakes for a living.
It was her dream and now she owns her very own bakery.
Her cakes are THE.BOMB.
She ships anywhere.
She made it specially for me.
And it's the ONLY cake I think of often.
If you call her...tell her she has a big head. LOL!
She'll know I sent you!
LOVE YOU FOR A LIFETIME QUEENY!!!!!
Blown out of proportion or fundamentally wrong? The story: http://www.tmz.com/2014/05/06/willow-smith-moises-arias-instagram-photo-in-bed/
What have you done so far? Do you break it all up or try and do it all at once?
Do you think it's an antiquated tradition?