Rantings of a Creole Princess

Scenario from real life...

Your mother-in-law comes over for a Mother's Day cookout.

Your husband is cooking.

Your husband and your MIL have an um...interesting relationship you don't understand because your mother is your greatest champion.

Your MIL starts complaining straight off the bat about how he's doing things.  

He's making a mess.

He has the grill up too high.

He's burning the meat.

This, that and the other.

It's all true but he's trying to make it special.

He goes into the house and you note he's taking a bit longer than usual to come back out and you find him upstairs in your bedroom laying on the bed.

He says:  She's never going to change is she?

What do you say?

What do you do?

Scenario From Real Life...

You get a friend request from someone you used to know.

You accept their request...no biggie...they were cool back in the day.

They promptly send you a message saying how nice it is to reconnect with you and that you look great even though they secretly hoped you'd gained a lot of weight too.

And included a series of LOL's and HaHa's.

You good?

What would you say?

How would you react?

Scenario From Real Life...

You recently met a guy and you're just getting to know him.

So far...you've only been out for drinks with him.

He was a perfect gentleman.

Yall talk on the phone pretty regularly for people getting to  know each other.

You're at a house party of one of your friends and he calls.

You step out and talk to him.

Turns out...he lives not that far from where you are.

You invite him to come over and he does.

You introduce him to your friends and one of them pulls you to the side and tells you she knows his girlfriend and that from what they understand...he's been dating her for a couple of years.

How do you handle?

 

Scenario From Real Life...

You run across a small gym bag while looking for something in your garage.

The bag looks dusty as hell as if it hadn't been touched in a long, long, time.

You open the bag and find a bunch of pics, letters and some trinkets which are from your husband's past.

You good?

Do you put it back where you found it?

Do you mention it?

Would you consider destroying the contents?

From A Man In My Inbox:

Dear Monica;

I have something you may consider posting to your blog. A few months ago I met a Chilean woman. She was smart, pretty, ambitious, had her own money, and was a great companion. And she adored me. However, although I'd never met her previously, I knew some of the company she kept. I'd seen her with dodgy gentlemen. And it totally changed my mind about her. Her past associates became a hurdle I couldn't overcome and I eventually wound up dropping her. Realizing that she'd been intimate with desperadoes became a huge turnoff, otherwise she was perfect. Perhaps you could switch the genders and ask your readership what would they do.

 

AVENGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This post has nothing to do with the movie...I'm just so excited it opens today I don't know what to do.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

Aiight...so Shelly and I read something and we're curious as to YOUR thoughts regarding.  I read it but didn't tell Shelly I'd read it and then she posted it and we pretty much came to the same conclusion of what we'd do in such a situation.

So...go read this and then...come back and tell us what YOU would have done.  Seriously.

In a live chat, Prudie advises a mother hit by an anti-adoption remark—that's also implicitly racist.

 

Scenario From Real Life...

A VERY wealthy man has a baby with a woman he's not married to.

The woman takes him to court for child support saying she needs $50,000 a month in child support payments.

The VERY wealthy man is like...hell no...that's too much money.

He claims the money is disguised as SPOUSAL support for a woman he was never married to.

What say you?  Does he have a point?

From Selah in the chatbox:

Hey all! I'm looking to buy a condo (yikes) and I'm trying to come up with "must haves". So far I have washer/dryer in the unit, since I can't do a community laundry thanks to my skin allergies. Any other random, good ideas?

Scenario From Real Life...

Someone in your life walks up to you and says:  "Man, you've gained weight....you look big in everything you've been wearing."

How do YOU respond? 

 

SIP:  Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Scenario From Real Life...

You have a weekend guest whom you adore.

You get up and start breakfast.

Your guest comes downstairs and is crying.

You're startled and asks what's wrong.

The way your guest is crying...someone must have died.

Your guest takes you to the sofa they slept on.

Your guest has, apparently, had an EXTREMELY bad Midol Week.

Your guest has leaked clean through her clothes, the sheet and there is a large stain on one of the sofa cushions of your lovely $3,000 celadon green sofa.

Your guest shares that she's recently been diagnosed with fibroids and it's probably why she's had such a tough Midol Week.

How do you handle?

What would YOU do?

Scenario From Real Life...

Your child is an only child.

He is hanging out with two of his friends.

He pulls out a pack of gum and puts a piece in his mouth.

One of his friends asks for a piece and your child tells him no...he only has a few pieces left.

You look over and note he has 4 pieces of gum in the pack.

How do you handle?

Scenario from real life...

You have a six year old son.

He's cute as hell.

He's well known to be a charmer and manipulates people to get what he wants already.

You're at work.

Your phone rings and it's your son calling from the school office asking you to bring him some McDonalds for lunch because he's hungry and the food today is nasty.

What do you do?

Scenario From Yesterday...Part 2

So you're thinking that he's planning to propose to your best friend so you agree to meet him.

You tell your husband about it and he thinks the same thing.

You're all giddy and excited for your girl.

You get there and he's kinda looking glum.

He then tells you that he and your best friend are probably going to break up soon but that in the past 3 years he's really come to cherish the friendship he has with you and your husband and really hope yall can  stay friends.

How do you handle?

Scenario from real life...

A married man you met at a friend's house sent you a friend request.

So did his wife.

You accepted both requests.

They were cool people.

The man starts testing the waters by being flirty with a private message and you unfriend him without a second thought.

The wife sends you a private message the following week asking why you are no longer friends with her husband.

It is a friendly, polite message.

What do you say?

Scenario From Real Life...

You have a babysitter you LOVE.

She's a grad student working on a degree in early childhood education and the daughter of one of your co-workers.

She goes to school not too far from your child's school so she picks your child up and brings them home, helps them with their homework, feeds and engages them until you get home 2 hours later.

Your child ADORES her and you trust her implicitly with your child's care.

A friend meets you at your home one day after work and meets her.

The friend's child goes to school with YOUR child.

The friend later asks you fifty lleven questions about her.

You answer...no biggie.

A few weeks later, your babysitter extraordinaire tells you the friend has offered her double what you pay her to work for her plus a weekly gas allowance.

You good?

How would you handle?

*BLINK*

What advice would YOU have given her?  

Q. Lights Out Happy Time: I am a freshman at college. My roommate is pretty great—except for one thing. I'm pretty sure she "takes care of herself" after we turn out the lights and she thinks I'm asleep. The motions and noises she makes are consistent with this theory. I have no problem with her doing that, but it makes me uncomfortable that she does it while I'm in the room. I'm also absolutely mortified about possibly discussing this with her. They did not cover this in freshman orientation, so I'm counting on you for some insight.

From:  http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/04/dear_prudie_advice_on_roommate_masturbation_criminal_relatives_and_friendly_affairs_.html?fb_ref=sm_fb_plugin_activity

Scenario From My Inbox...

A mother has her child on a pretty good schedule.

The child's father isn't the type to deal with schedules.

The child is going to stay with their father for the summer and the mother asks that the child be returned a week before school starts in order to get the child back on their schedule.

The father wants to keep the kid until the weekend before school starts and says that the mother being inflexible is going to make the child resent her.

What say you?

Fashion Scenario...

You're out of town.

You brought regular clothes with you.

Nothing fancy at ALL.

Literally jeans and t-shirts.

Maybe ONE pair of khakis.

You get a call about a meeting.

A BIG meeting.

We're talking huge.  

Like...HUGE.

In the area you're in.

Day after tomorrow.

You don't have anything even REMOTELY right for this type of meeting with you.

Do you take time away from what you're doing to go shopping and try to find something which will look good AND fit you to wear or do you get someone to overnight something to you from your home?

Question from Real Life

Someone asked me to ask yall the following hoping that single mothers or mothers who used to be single mothers with an absentee father would be helpful:

How old was your child when they started askng quesstions about where their father was?

What did you tell them?

For mothers of sons, did your son ever start acting out thinking his father didn't want him?

Did you ever think it was better to not encourage your child to seek a relationship with his/her father because you knew exactly how messed up dude was?

Would you let your child's paternal grandmother have a relationship with the child even though the father doesn't want to have anything to do with the child?

Any of you dealt with a man who wasn't involved at all and doesn't want to be?

From My Inbox:

Hi Monica! I have a question for the tribe, especially those from single parent households. If you are planning on caring your parent when they become of age(in your private home or a facility), and that parent found a husband/partner/boo thang later in life, are you required to take care of them too? Let’s just say for the sake of argument, he has no children. I would hate to have to split them up after it took so long for them to find each other. It just seems like a lot to take on, especially for an only child. Thanks!

 

Scenario from my inbox...

Your S/O never hides his cellphone from you.

It's always out in plain view.

And you're not the type to mess with his phone.

It's on the kitchen counter and it beeps.

You don't pay any mind to it but it beeps again.

You pick it up and trace the "lotion" mark that indicates his lock code and you find an ongoing text conversation with the mother of one of your son's friends.

You scroll all the way to the top and find the conversation started off rather innocently when the mother was trying to find out what time she should pick up her son.  Your husband had taken them to the movies when you were at an event one Saturday.   Your husband basically said something like after being with the kids all day he might just leave both of them on side of the road and send her their location and she responds back saying then she'd have to spank him and ended it with a smiley face.

Your husband kept it light and funny and even said something like..."...only my wife gets that privilege ma'am.  LOL!"

The conversation wasn't risque in the least but you can tell there is a bit of cutesy shit in the way the back and forth is going and it's been ongoing for about two weeks.  Sometimes daily, sometimes not, sometimes several texts a day.

NOTHING untoward mind you...but nothing you're all comfy with either.

Oh...and it seems like she ALWAYS initiates the convo and he simply responds.

How do you handle?

From My Inbox:

I have a question for the Tribe.  It's sort of a topic you're not comfortable with discussing on your blog so I'll keep it G rated.  

Here goes:  If someone is dating a guy who has been locked up for 10+ yrs...and the guy now INSISTS on doing certain things..that errra...are nonconventional between a man and a woman and yet insist to the point of, well you better figure it out cause I shouldn't have to NOT be able to do this with you if I want to...would that be a red flag to you?  And, if it is, what would you do?

**UPDATED**Scenario From Real Life...

You're single and have been for a while.

It's also been quite a while since you've had sans ropas.

You meet a guy who looks like the type of guy on the cover of a romance novel.

All buff and shiny.

You go out to dinner with him and he's not interesting AT.ALL.

But he sure is purty.

After a bit of texting, emailing, etc.  you find out dude is  not only uninteresting...he's dumb.

But he sure is purty.

In a moment of weakness you let him come over and well...um...erra...let's just say your dry spell is over.

The next morning you wake up and his purty azz is sitting there smiling at you.  

He tells you he's been looking for a woman like you.  Smart, funny, pretty.  Says you're the type of woman he hopes to spend the rest of his life with and raise children with and that he really hopes this turns into something real.

What do you do?

What do you say?

He sure is PURTY!

***UPDATED*** Apparently...it has been a delightfully rewarding experience.  He also smells REALLY good all the time and is seriously the nicest, sweetest guy to her.  Like...he takes out the garbage in the morning on his way out.  Puts the dishes in the dishwasher.  Helps in the kitchen and surprised her with a full house deep cleaning when he saw a special on Groupon.  He is a physical trainer and is doing well for himself.  Oh...and he looks like this sans ropas:  Male Model Dude

SIP:  This is gonna be a hard one.  No pun intended. 

 

From My Inbox:

Monnie, can you please pose this to the tribe?  

What techniques would they recommend to reform a lazy young lady.  My daughter just likes to chill.  Her personality is not one of a go-getter, and to a minor extent that's ok.  However, she MUST improve.  Right now I'm having her read books on subject matters she enjoys, along with writing a report upon completion.  She's reading a the diary of Anne Frank right now.  She likes to read personal stories on the holocaust.  I took her to the library yesterday.  She saw the movie a couple of times, and she wanted to read the book.  So cool.  I'm giving her 1 1/2 weeks to read it, and write on it.  

I'm at my wit's end and don't know what else to do in order to light a fire under her.

Signed,

Very Busy Single Parent

 

From My Inbox:

Hi Monica,

I have a question for the tribe. 

From My Inbox:

Hi Monica,

I have a question or "scenario" for the tribe. I'd prefer you not use my screen name if you post the question.

 A great friend is engaged!! She asks you to stand up for her as a bridesmaid. Of course you say yes. The dresses are ordered and less than a month after ordering the dresses, she decides to call off the wedding. As a friend, you are there for her and completely understand her decision. Should the friend reimburse the bridesmaids for the dresses? Has this happened to anyone in the Tribe? If so, how was it handled?

Thanks Monica!

Have a great day!

 

Advice Please!

I hate looking like everyone else and do whatever I can do whenever to do what I want.

LOL!

Cuz I'm contrary.

I go to a lot of stuff where I need to wear a lanyard so I rebelled, of course, and got my own lanyard to wear.  I ordered it online through Amazon back in early November.

It's FABULOUS!

Then...I didn't get it so I contacted the seller through Amazon and they re-sent my order.

I was happy.

Last week, I was cleaning off my desk and found the original lanyard which my husband had put on my desk when I wasn't home and forgot to tell me about it.

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So...I contacted the seller via email and haven't heard back from them yet.  My intentions were to pay them back for sending out a second order. 

I guess I'm surprised they haven't called me or responded to my email.  Do yall think I should contact them again?  What would YOU do?

From My Inbox:

Monica,

I have a real life sit-shee-a-sion for your hypothetical question and answer. Imma' do this from a male point of view to make it easier for me. Anyway, here goes...

Let's just say that you and your wife have been very, very close to this couple since college. Not only that, he is your fraternity and line brother, and the two of you, your wife and you, introduced him to his wife.

But then your relationship with him becomes strained. He begins to not show iup when and where he says he is going to show up, and he owes you a rather large sum of money which he doesn't seem inclined to pay back. And then on top of that, you begin to see him around town and at various functions with women who are not his wife. He even tells his wife that he is going to an out-of-town fraternity event with you and will be rooming with you, but then shows up to the event seperately with some woman in tow.

But then out of the blue, the wife shows up at your home absolutely distraut. She tells you that she believes their marriage is falling apart, and she shoulders all the blame. Then, because you are his oldest friend, she asks you has he said anything to you about their marriage and what do you think she can do to hold the marriage together.

So...what do you tell her?

Advice Needed...

How do you not let the pain someone else is feeling about something in their life wreck YOUR flow?

Like...you all worried and ish about them so your motivation to do your stuff gets sidetracked worried about them?

From My Inbox:

I have a co-worker who is always telling me about the problems she has with her husband.  She always complains about him over the most minor things and it made me wonder if she even likes her husband as a person so one day I asked her if she even likes him.  She got mad and has since stopped talking to me even though we have several responsibilities together.  Any advice on how to handle this?

From Dear Abby:

DEAR ABBY: When I married my husband, "Mason," 30 years ago, I was the only girl he could get. He was a great catch by my standards -- and still is. But back then nobody else wanted him but me, which was fine with me. I don't like competition.

 

We have had a great life together up until the last 10 years or so. Mason is aging gracefully, and there's something about him now that every woman is suddenly interested in. They all treat him like he's a new toy. They fawn over him and I become invisible.

 

We don't get out much, and I used to think I wanted to go out more -- but now I just want to stay home and hide my husband inside. The real problem is, Mason loves the attention. It could be what he always wanted. I don't know how to handle this without getting my feelings hurt, pouting and being incredibly jealous. He gives me no reason to think he'll be unfaithful, but I can't help but worry. Help! -- WIFE OF A LATE BLOOMER

What advice would YOU give to WIFE OF A LATE BLOOMER?

To see what Dear Abby said...click HERE.

From My Inbox:

Hi Monnie,
 
I have a friend who was telling me of an office tale over lunch today and wanted to get yours and the tribes take on the situation...
 
The employee works for a rather large corporation.  As a convenience to the employee's, the company allows them to mail packages and personal mail thru the company mail room.  Package your item or envelope and it gets mailed.  You are sent an email of the charges you owe. You pay the charge and all is well.  Simple right?
 
My friend's coworker mailed some personal items and apparently failed to pay the charges -I was told they were less than $10 in total.  I was told the mail room person (a long term temporary worker) emailed the employee letting her know of the charges the day the mail was sent.  The lady didn't pay for whatever reason (I'm guessing it slipped her mind or something, but I really have no idea).
 
Well, today the mail room person email's the VP of HR telling them the employee has an outstanding balance of $10 - or whatever the amount was.  The VP of HR sends the email to the employee's immediate HR contact advising them to get the employee to pay up.  Of course the employee was embarrassed that the VP of HR was involved and subsequently her immediate HR person. She paid the money on the spot - my friend says she went to the bank and got a $50 and made the mail room person give her the exact change back and proceeded to show her entire ass to the mail room person; LOUDLY talking about you embarrassed me and you act like it is your money and I work too hard to be harrassed about some money and you have some nerve going to the VP of HR to try and get this $10.  I think there is some history with the mail room person not staying in their lane on previous occassions, since I've heard stories about her before, but I dont' work there so I'm not sure.
 
 
I told my friend, that her friend was wrong, she should have just paid the money when first asked and kept it moving.  I told her she got embarrassed on her own accord and will now probably suffer more consequences from HR for acting a fool at work.  I also told her the friend should have tagged the mail room person in a subtle Claire Huxtable kinda way.  I told her it shouldn't matter if the mail room person was a temp or not, there is a way you handle things out here and a way you should conduct yourself.  Everybody is always watching us (IMO) and we need to act as such.  Not saying she should let someone belittle her, put her down, or speak to her any old kinda way -everyone needs to treat her with the respect that she deserves, but she should be the example of how to act, not how NOT to act.
 
Now, put yourself in the employee's shoes, what would you have done had the VP of HR contacted you about this issue?  I'd love to see feedback from the tribe and I'll be sure to let my friend know of everyones response.  She is on the side of the friend and is glad the email person 'finally got put in her place' and I am left SMDH at this entire situation.
 

From My Inbox:

In thinking about the earlier inbox scenario, I'd like to know if anyone has had a successful relationship with someone who has different financial beliefs from you.  What kind of advice do you have for someone who loves their significant other but whose thoughts about money drives them crazy.  

From My Inbox:

I have been engaged to a wonderful man for a year but have serious concerns over the way he continues to spoil his oldest daughter.  She is off to college. Yet, he continues to finance anything and everything she wants, including her iphone -cell phone bill, clothing, hair dresser and college expenses.  He also makes monthly payments over $500 on the luxury vehicle he purchased for her over a year ago. She has never had a job and continues her dependency on him.  I have tried on several occasions to talk to him about this. He doesn’t feel like there is anything wrong with it. I am not asking him to stop providing for his daughter, but I’m concerned that this could potentially cause problems in the future since there are other children between the two of us. Am I wrong for thinking this way?

Scenario...

Your girl comes clean to you about some major disrespect she's been dealing with regarding her marriage.

You just listen.

She asks you for your advice.

You tell her that you can't give her any advice because in your world...this wouldn't have gone down like that.

She tells you that she's not leaving him.

You say, "Okay."

And keep it moving.

She is currently mad at you.  Furious even.  Why?

Because you said, "Okay." and refuse to say anything more.

Scenario...

Your girlfriend is amazing.

Smart.

Funny.

Loyal.

Nuturing.

Successful.

Well traveled.

God fearing.

Financially savvy.

Just awesome.

She's putting up with some ish from a man which amazes you but you don't say anything because you just don't believe in butting into people's business.

If she likes it you love it.

You go over to her home for dinner and her manfriend gets up and just leaves without saying anything after the meal is over.

You don't say anything but you must have some kinda "look" on your face.

She gets more than a bit wine buzzed as yall are cleaning the kitchen and watching the game and she tells you that she knows you think she's dumb for putting up with the shit she is putting up with but that you have to understand she doesn't have the same options as you have with men because of her size and that if she wants a man...she  has to do things differently in order to keep a man like him than you would have to do.  She says you've never had a problem finding a man to love you because of how you look so she understands if you don't understand.

What do you say?

What do you do?

Scenario from real life...PART TWO

You've gotten cool with his best friend's wife.

She tells you that your manfriend didn't want to get a divorce from his wife and was DEVASTATED when she filed.

She says that they were worried about him for a long time but that they are happy that he's moving on and in a good relationship with someone who truly cares about him for him as you do.

You don't say anything about the child support issue.

You don't say anything about having to loan him money.

But you're feeling some kinda way.

Do you start to wonder that he pays what he pays SOLELY because he's still in love with his ex-wife?

Would you ask him THAT?

 

Scenario from real life...

Your S/O has a child with his ex-wife.

He's a REALLY good guy who just wants to do the right thing and he loves his child dearly and feels guilty his marriage didn't work out.

They don't have a child support agreement in place.

You find out how much he pays her and you're shocked.

Not because it's a little bit of money but because it's much more money that he can afford.

You do some checking around on your own and find that, according to the guidelines, he would be paying $1,000 less or more per month if they had a court ordered agreement in place.

He ALSO is expected to pay for extracurricular activities like sports, clubs, etc.

This wouldn't be an issue...but he's always borrowing money from you in order to make it to next payday and it's ONLY because of the crazy agreement and the stress the divorce took on his finances.

Would YOU tell him what you found out?

Would you say nothing and remain neutral helping him out whenever you could?

Would you throw up the deuces on the relationship?

 

Scenario...

An ex-boyfriend made a secret video of yall sans ropasing over 13 years ago.

He put it on the internet when yall broke up.

It's been out there for over 12 years witout your knowledge.

Your husband runs across it somehow online.

Should he tell you?

If you found out later that he knew about it but didn't tell you because it would upset you...how would you feel?

 

Hmmmmmmmmm...Scenario...

If a friend was being physically abused by their S/O...and you found out about it, could you continue to be their friend if they told you they had no intention of leaving?

From My Inbox:

Because of my issues...this one made me tear up.  Just...wow...

From My Inbox:

Before you read this one...please keep in mind it's deep and it's REAL. That said...don't be an azzhole cuz I'm not in the mood today.

Thank you in advance.

SIP

From My Facebook Inbox:

Monica - I am curious to know your thoughts on handling malicious envy . . . not hate - envy. PPL who feel robbed because it's SO.UNFAIR. that they see you are doing better than them. I'm talking about from ppl close to you - family, coworkers, friends(frenemies). Will you tackle this topic? Being on the receiving end HURTS.

Thanks.

p.s. - the hurt arises from the gossiping, put-downs & sabotage - and other types of sneaky emotional abuse & game playing. Yep. All of that - how to stay focused & positive when you can't quickly ditch toxic people?

Scenario from my inbox: UPDATED!

A man lives next door to a woman's mother.

The woman doesn't know this when they meet.

They start dating.

She finds out, after about a year, that he's married.

Ish gets hectic real quick like.

Turns out his wife doesn't live with him but she's pregnant with their child.

Chick gets a new man.

Old dude is still calling, texting, emailing, trying to see her.

Stalking her.

New dude tells her she'd better handle this ish or he will.

Chick has to put a restraining order on old dude before he would leave her the hell alone.

After a while...they start texting and communicating again.

She needs to borrow like $20 and he brings it to her.

She pays him back.

No biggie.

Just texts and convos.

Old dude is in the school system and it's time for his background check update.

He asks her to go have the restraining order removed.

She refuses.

He's pissed.

He drops the bomb that he lives next door to her mother and that the next time she and her man are over...he's going to come over and tell dude that she borrows money from him and they still are in constant communication.

And the fact that he lives next door to her mother is going to probably become an issue too.

What advice would you give her regarding this situation?

UPDATED!  I told this wrong.  She didn't know he lived next door to her mother when they met...she's known for a while.  The new boyfriend DOESN'T know however.

From My Inbox:

Dear Monica,

I have an Inbox question that I hope you and the tribe could help me with.
 
In the summer of 2010 I fell in love with a guy.  He moved to the US from Africa about 3 years ago.  He attended English classes at a community college in the DC area so that he could master the language and then move on to pursue an advanced degree.  When it was time to take the English assessment at the end of the semester (which would determine whether he could move on to credit classes) he would miss the required mark by 2 to 3 points, causing stress and dissappointment for him.

From Dear Prudence:

Dear Prudence,
Two months before I asked my wife to marry me, I cheated on her with a woman I met through a hookup website. This woman and I met only once, engaged in oral sex, and I never saw her again. I was consumed with guilt and confusion over my double life and wondered if I would always be a liar and a cheat. At the same time, I was in love with my soon-to-be fiancee, and I made a decision to keep my mouth shut and go ahead with my plans to propose. We've been married now for nearly two years, and most of the time I'm happy. My wife is happy. I have resolved to never do anything like that again. And yet I still occasionally experience bouts of guilt and emotional pain, not to mention a fear that what I did will somehow be uncovered. I've convinced myself that keeping the experience a secret is best. But is that the right choice, or am I just making excuses so I don't have to do the right thing?

—Guilty and Tired of It

What would YOU advise him to do?  http://www.slate.com/id/2303854/

 

Hmmmmmm...Scenario...

A friend decides to return to wearing her hair in it's natural state.

She cuts it off in one big chop and rocks a mini-fro.

Everyone who loves her hates the style on her.

NOT because it's natural...but because the style isn't very flattering on HER.

Her face is round.

VERY round and folks think she looks BLAH and extremely unattractive with the CURRENT natural style she's rocking.

She asks you DIRECTLY what do you think of her hairstyle.

Personally...you agree that the way she is wearing it is the most unflattering style in the world for her and thinks she'd look far better wearing it in twists or braid outs or pretty much anything other than the afro she's been consistently sporting.

But...those are your PERSONAL beliefs.

You KNOW she loves her hair.

Even if she asked you DIRECTLY...would you tell her what you REALLY think or would you tell her something along the lines of...if you like it...I love it...do you girl.

Is criticizing natural hairstyles a no-no in the world of being PC?

Scenario from my inbox:

Your sister and her husband are going through an extremely difficult financial time.

You and your mother decide to pay for their children's school uniforms.

You get their sizes and tell your sister that you're going to order them online.

You buy the uniforms for your niece.

Your mother buys the uniforms for your nephew.

You don't hear from your sister for about a week.

You call her and don't get an answer.

You've been talking to your mother all week but she hasn't said anything about your sister.

You call your mother and ask her if she's heard from your sister and whether or not they received the uniforms.

Your mother says yes...the packages arrived 3 days ago.

You're like...did she call you when they came in?

The answer is yes.

You're like...welll why didn't she call me.

Your mom is like...well...I didn't want to be the one to tell you but she's upset because she had to send back all of the uniforms for your niece because you ordered her a size 10 when she needed a size 12 and that nothing fit. So there is a chance that the uniforms won't be there by the time school starts.

As you get more into the story...sounds like your sister and her husband think you did this on purpose to create problems for them.

What do you do?

 

SIP:  SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

 

From My Inbox

You're meeting a group of about a dozen people for an evening of team trivia at a local bar/restaurant.  In the parking lot you recognize your ex's vehicle.  It's a strip mall, so he could be anywhere, but your gut feeling is that he's in the restaurant.  You have a 10-month old restraining order against this ex.  Would you go inside the restaurant?

Scenario from real life...

A friend moved to another state and put their things in a storage unit around the corner from you.

They put your name down as an emergency contact.

The storage unit place calls and tells you that the space is going to be seized if the fees aren't paid up by the end of the week.

You call the friend and they tell you they are going to take care of it.

But something kinda seems "off."

The storage place calls you on the last day before they are going to seize the property and tells you that no one has called to make arrangements.

The balance owed is about $250.

You know your friend's "life" is in that unit and suspect they're having an extremely hard time financially and can't afford to pay it or keep up with the payments even if they could pay the balance owed.

Your friend has always been VERY prideful.

What would YOU do?