And it made me go...hmmmmmmm...
They were basically point out that for some people...it doesn't pay for them to get a job because they would get more in benefits they qualify for than they would doing a job they were qualified to do.
Or that was available in their area and with their public transportation limitations. One of the respondents was basically saying that she knew what jobs she couldn't take because she'd stop being eligible for X,Y or Z and well...she couldn't take the job anyway because she has a child, no daycare and the bus stops running in her area at 7pm.
I listened to this on the back of a situation wherein someone I adore needed some short term help and I was rallying some troops to try and find some way to help her. The person needing the help lives in another state and one of our friends knows someone higher up in state politics. We contacted the person to find out what, if anything, the friend would qualify for short term.
It was an interesting discovery.
After listening to that segment on NPR, it made me think about times when a couple hundred dollars or some short term help would mean the world to people trying to stay afloat and honestly...it makes me wonder why things like that don't exist. Instead of long term welfare assistance which basically require you to be absolutely destitute and jumping through hoops to prove it...why not try and focus on helping people who need help briefly before they GET too destitute?
I've heard that before you can get certain types of assistance, you can't have money in the bank or a 401k. What if you're between jobs, looking for a job and have run out of unemployment insurance? We all know that we can't just get money out of our 401k easily and that it's a major process. So if you go to sign up for your benefits...they're like...no...you have money. You have a car, you're not poor enough for us to help you. Sounds to me like it's counter-productive to expect people to use up all of their retirement resources before you help them out. What happens when they retire? The power of compounded interest has passed and well...now they need help in every way.
Okay...I'm rambling again I know. What are YOUR thoughts on traditional welfare? Are you knowledgeable of any short term help for immediate problems? Does the process seem frustrating to you too?
Where do you go for just a little help to get you through when you don't have family who can give you money?
...they were unsuccessful.
But the Tea Party has been successful.
Domestic terrorism with a racist outlook.
They have succeeded in shutting down our government protesting AN ALREADY SIGNED LAW WHICH GIVES AMERICANS MORE AFFORDABLE AND WIDELY AVAILABLE HEALTH CARE.
The Tea Party is America's public enemy number 1. They need to be stopped. Democrats and Republicans need to stand together and shut them down. NOW! Ted Cruz? PUHLEEZE! That man shouldn't lead carnival won fish.
Yall...we have to stop this. You need to find out what's going on in your state and work to keep them out of office. We're stuck with some for now...but they will have to be re-elected. DON'T LET THAT ISH HAPPEN! VOTE THEIR AZZES OUT WHENEVER YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY!
I can't believe this ish is going down. I can't believe we are being held hostage by domestic terrorists and folks expect us to negotiate through this ish. We don't negotiate with terrorists right?
At least that's what I always thought as an American.
Obama...I need yall to stand oak mighty. Don't negotiate with them. THEY ARE TERRORISTS. Let the American people, at large, finally see those fuckers as they really and truly are. A bunch of ignorant bullies who only give a damn about what they want, which is NOT what the majority CLEARLY wants.
So...who's been furloughed?
I met a young lady recently who impressed the hell out of me. She was 23 years old, working full-time and is about to start working on her Masters. She got smart people scholarships to pay for her education so she doesn't have loans from her undergrad and she's doing the same (plus employer benefits) to pay for her Masters.
She has a roommate and she saves practically all of her money. Her goal is to have enough of a down payment saved up to put down on a modest condo once she gets her degree and gets the promotion her company has all but promised her already. Her only bills seem to be her car note (a Toyota) and car insurance (I don't know for sure these are her only bills mind you...just seems fitting given the rest of the conversation we had.)
I was so impressed.
Your hair is natural.
You are on the third interview with a company.
From what you can tell so far...the company isn't very diverse.
The people you're meeting with this time are the HR Director and one of the people who would be in the department you're working in.
You've already met with the owner of the company.
The HR Director leaves the room to take a call and the other person asks you if you ever wear scarves on your head. You know...like those pretty patterned scarves they sometimes see women have on their heads.
How do you answer?
What do you think went down BEHIND the scenes?
Part 1 is available on Amazon today. Parts 2 and 3 are being edited. AND THEY ARE JUUUUUUUUUICY! LOL! Even the editor (The Robinator, LOL!) was looking at me like his mind was blown.
Comment from Erica B. on FB:
My daughter's job has this option. But she has a bank account and uses direct deposit. Sadly, a LOT of people in low wage positions don't and it's either that debit card or going to the check cashing place. And companies and financial institutions are taking advantage with those ridiculous fees. Society doesn't give a shit about the poor and consistently make life harder. If this doesn't make you want to get your life together...
I couldn't agree with her more. Society doesn't give a rat's azz about the poor and they are the main target when it comes to making money.
What say YOU? Do YOU know anyone who gets paid with a debit card? Do they have fees attached to using the card? Were you aware that companies even DID this? Now that you know...will you warn young people about this?
I've started using Google Calendar properly and it's changed my life. There are so many things you can do with it that it makes no sense to NOT use it.
I add all my meetings, calls, appointments, etc. to it now and am always excited when I can just *CLICK* to add something to my calendar. Eventbrite let's you do this as well as a lot of other services I use.
It adds all of the details to my calendar and I can set up how I want to receive my reminders. I generally use email AND text reminders. Email reminders a day before so I can make sure I've done all I need to do for the event and text reminders starting 30 minutes out.
Another feature is the ability to share my calendar with the Robinator. Both of us use this feature so we're not doublebooking things we need the other for and we can make arrangements for Lucy, etc. His events are in blue, my events are in pink.
I receive a daily agenda (can be found in 'SETTINGS') every morning at 5:00am so it's the first thing I check when I look at my emails daily.
I can even insert/embed meeting information in an email so that the recipient can one click add it to their calandar as well.
Are YOU using it?
You can't let anyone tell you what you can't do and take that to heart. No as a final answer when it's the first time you've asked is simply unacceptable. Don't be disrespectful about it...just politely move on to another option. Always have a plan B.
You can't let your past dictate your future no matter what. Even if you were raised with a silver spoon in your mouth, please know that the times we live in are volatile and that spoon can be snatched with the swiftness. You need to always be prepared for something out of the ordinary to pop off. If you've towed a long, hard road...that doesn't have to be the way your life has to continue to be. You can do anything with proper planning and putting in the work.
We have different people in our lives for different reasons. Life is pretty awesome that way. There is pretty much room for everyone if you make room within your family, framily and friends.
We have the fun people in our life and the serious people who give us good advice. We have career minded acquaintances and we have the health conscious friends. We have the sports friends and we have the industry people we use as resources when we need help. We have inspiring friends and we have friends who will run up on someone for you with a bat and a flashlight if need be. We have the gossiping friends. We have the fashion and beauty friends.
And...we have the nurturing family, framily and friends.
If your company started using computer monitoring software which created a report on all of your computer and phone activity at the end of every day and emailed it to you and your direct supervisor as a productivity tool...would you have to change some things quickly? Would you be in trouble if they started doing it and didn't TELL you they've been doing it for a month already?
Would you accept a job offer with a company who told you, during the interview process, that this was standard procedure?
I met the most fascinating man yesterday in the simplest way possible. See...I have a neighbor who is really into her landscaping and I was checking out her new perennials. I asked her where she purchased them and she told me that someone told her about this super cute little nursery that a man owns behind his house. I was looking for some different shade perennials so I figured I'd give it a try.
It was only about 12 miles away from my home and it was a stunningly beautiful and yet cool day so a drive was just the thing. I put the country ribs I had marinating the fridge in the oven on 225 degrees and set the oven timer for 3 hours leaving The Robinator with instructions to simply take them out when the timer went off.
I listened to music as Kadijah (the GPS lady) directed me to the address and oohed and aaahed over the simple, country style homes with porches and big, fenced in yards that I see in my future.
I found the house and followed the gravel around to the back as the signage directed me to do and I was presented with this:
Your boss is hosting a celebratory dinner with key members of your organization to include the Board of Directors in a super swanky spot.
You are invited as you are a key person.
So is your boss' elderly father.
You don't bring a date and you are seated next to your boss' father.
The dinner bell rings to signal cocktail hour is over and you and his father head to the dining room with the other guests.
Your boss' elderly father pats you on the butt and laughs a dirty old man laugh.
You cut him a look and tell him to not do that again.
He says he's sorry...he was just having a bit of fun.
At the table he's fine until he puts his hand on your thigh.
How do you handle?
A while ago I was with a bunch of people and the conversation turned to annoying co-workers and how to deal with them. One friend shared that they had a co-worker who sends an email and then gets up and comes to your office to TELL you they just sent you an email.
I just stared cuz really? That's some crazy ish!
Another person shared that they have a boss who doesn't read ish. Like...everything will be in the email sent to them that they need to know but they will come over and demand to be TOLD what the email is about.
Really?Someone else has a co-worker who listens to music with their earphones but hums along with every song.
Someone else has a co-worker whose nails are so dirty they are black underneath and always scratching some part of something on their body.
(Excuse me while I scream right quick!)
Someone else has a co-worker who always brings something crunchy to snack on in internal meetings and they eat with their mouth open and it grosses everyone out. LOLOLOLOLOLOL!
And the list went on.
Whatchu got? Any annoying co-worker habits?
I was talking to some people recently who are the parents of a 4 year old girl. The daughter wasn't around as we were having this conversation:
Mother: She's a born leader.
Father: Cuz she's a stubborn little bully.
Mother: She's just very determined to get her way.
Father: Cuz she bullies and uses manipulative tactics until she gets her way.
Mother: Well we're working on being kinder and sharing.
The father goes off to get a drink.
The mother sits there and continues to support her belief that her daughter is a leader.
I didn't say much cuz well...it was obvious this was a source of contention between them and well...we should all change the subject so they didn't get into it.
Word on the curb is that the little girl is bad as FUG!
Should they have been fired? Do you think having to be PC all the time ruins team building?
Wealth Inequality in America
What did YOU think after watching this?
Sometimes I get really sad but I always reckon that's the way it is for a lot of people who've been through difficult times in life. Something hits you in a certain way you know? Like...a song comes on and that chord is stuck again and yeah...you're stuck in that moment, transported by your memories and it washes over you.
Sometimes I get really sad.
I guess my dog being on her last legs was the beginning of it this time for me. Then...we had death in the family and well...death in the family brings along a complete other set of pain for me and then...I'm stuck.
I start focusing too hard on internal scars from external scars which have since healed. I stare too long at the scar on my left breast. I sense the scar from my myomectomy even while fully clothed knowing exactly how long it is end to end and knowing what it cost me/us or...what I believe it cost me/us.
I tear up at pictures of babies. I choke on deep breaths watching adult daughters with their mothers. I focus too much on being far up North away from everyone and everything that has truly mattered for a lifetime.
And I get really sad.
I dwell too long on the one negative thing on a call instead of focusing on the fifty positive things. I get stuck. I worry about things out of my control. Things which could affect the long term. Things I couldn't do a thing about if I tried.
Not good enough.
...opinion on Unions?
Are you for or against them?
A friend told me recently that it seems all I do is work.
And yeah...I guess that's true.
BUT...when I'm doing it...it doesn't seem like work, work...it simply is what I need to do to get done what needs to get done.
And I tried to explain that to her.
She looked skeptical and gave me a shaky..."I guess."
Then...I saw this...and I sent it to her:
She gets it now.
Is your current career path an interest or a commitment?
If I were to write an email or a Facebook message to someone I wanted to meet or do business with I'd start the email out by introducing myself. Then, the email would follow along the lines of telling them what it is I do and how I believe there are some synergies between what they do and I do.
I'd highlight my positives and give as clear a reason for my contacting them as possible.
I'd sign the email or message with my name, phone number and email address (if it was via FB).
I would NEVER send an email which says:
How are u doing greetings my sista i hope the sun is shining on u just saying that i like ur work text me one day maybe 555-1234
Here's the problemm with that message. It's annoying. You didn't clarify why you were reaching out. I don't know anything about you and all I'm thinking is...TEXT YOU FOR WHAT???????? So...when I send just that in a follow up message, "TEXT YOU FOR WHAT?" you wouldn't have to save face by trying to go all swole chest on me.
Remember in English class when we had to write a business letter way back in grade school? Do they still do that? How is it that these young kids don't know the proper way to construct a business letter? Are you okay with this? I mean...I guess, by today's standards, my methods are archaic but they seem to work pretty well you know?
It just makes me wonder...
And then wondering makes me sad.
SIP: Poor E...I feel like the kid's going to be quizzed on if he knows how to properly write a letter soon and the poor kid didn't even do anything to warrant him practicing business queries. *sigh*
I remember my father stating VERY clearly..."I'm not rich so you can't be poor."
I saw this on a t-shirt.
No...I really did.
And it made me shake my head slowly.
The other night a young man who is my Facebook friend said something negative about his job on his wall. It was REALLY negative. Like...the kind of thing you or I would vent to our S/O or best friend about. NEVER something we'd put out there to be used as ammunition against us one day.
I was out and about so I used my phone to comment by saying he should take that off his wall. I then went to send him a private message telling him exactly why I thought that because yeah...I know of people who've been fired behind a Facebook status message before. By the time I finished typing up my message, he'd unfriended and blocked me so I couldn't send it. I was like...WHOA...what the hell was that?
And then I thought about another young man I would give real live, serious advice to about career decisions, life decisions, etc. and then I learned later that he felt I was always talking down to him and that he knew what he was doing.
Because he knew it all and his pride was such that...WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING...I'M A GROWN AZZ MAN.
SIP: With that milk mustache on top of his lip.
That particular young man hit one of those blocks and is ashamed to tell me about it but I know...and yet, say nothing.
I know of another young man who is the same way until he does hit a road block. You know...all biggedy and ish like he knows every dang thing and can't nobody tell him anything. He's quick to get all swole in the chest when someone DOES attempt to tell him something that contradicts how he THINKS things actually are. Then...when there is a problem and he realizes he is limited in knowledge as to how to handle...he's back to being a mama's boy.
I sit and I watch these things and I wonder where it all comes from. How is it that so many of these teenage boys have so much pride and yet...ain't done ish to be proud of yet? Where do they get this whole mantra of, "I don't like the way such-and-such talks to me. Like I'm a boy." BOY! YOU ARE A DAMN BOY HELL!
And then I wonder...if they aren't listening to the people who have their genuine best interests at heart and are only telling them things they need to hear so they have the knowledge necessary to NOT make a lot of silly mistakes...is it no wonder that so many young men aren't where they should be in life? Is it any wonder that young women of the same age are light years ahead of them by way of maturity?
Like...while they're all busy trying to be all macho and shit cuz they think that's all it takes to be a man...the young lady, their age, is working part-time saving her money to buy a car to make her commute back and forth from college easier.
Where is the disconnect with young men? Young men, who grow up to be men (in age only) who still have this same, backwards azz thought process about chest puffing making them a man.
I'm constantly thinking in my head when I see these kids, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE LIL BOY? YOU AIN'T NOBODY AND AIN'T DID SHIT TO BE TRYING TO DEMAND THAT FOLKS RESPECT YOU THE WAY YOUR COCKEYED AZZ THINKS YOU DESERVE TO BE RESPECTED! PUT IN SOME WORK! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND LISTEN TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T MEAN YOUR THROWED OFF AZZ ANY HARM HELL!"
But I don't say anything. I just stare at them in complete radio silence knowing they are going to have a hard azz period before they "get it."
If they ever do.
Do YOU know any young men? Late-teen's, early 20's? Do you sense that false sense of overinflated pride about nothing that I oftentimes detect? Or is it just me?
Do you say anything?
What do YOU think about this?
WHO IS BREAKING REAL LIFE DOWN FOR THESE KIDS?
You graduated with an advanced degree from a Historically Black College or University.
You've been actively looking for a job in your field for a year.
You begin using other methods to look for a job such as utilizing your network and networking at events as often as possible.
You're introduced to someone who knows of an opportunity and you talk to them about a job.
It all looks EXTREMELY promising.
You forward your resume as they'd asked you to do and wait.
The time comes and goes when you were told you'd be contacted so you contact them and don't hear much of anything other than vague talk.
You call the person who made the introduction and ask for advice on how to proceed.
The person tells you, IN CONFIDENCE, that you weren't considered for the position once they saw on your resume that your degree was from an HBCU.
This is not information that you'd have had it not been for the person who made the introduction.
What, if anything, would you do?
Would love to hear the Tribe's response to this question:
Had anyone had experience negotiating a job offer?
If so, how did you go about it and what were the end results?
You work in a pretty conservative office environment.
You're in a meeting and close your office door while in the conference room.
You return to your office and continue working.
You reach for your wallet to go grab something quick to eat.
Your wallet is missing the $226 cash you had.
You know it was there BEFORE your meeting because you ordered something online.
How do you handle?
Your blog post on working a job that you hate touched a chord within me. I did that for so many years until that one day when I had enough and I just didn’t do any more.
I actually turned in my letter of resignation written on a page containing the following poem, a bit pompous, dramatical (I know that’s not a word, but it’s so appropriate in this case),
and completely overblown but also kind of cool, the expression of the supervisor that received it from me was priceless, (fortunately I never have had to, or will use them use them as a reference).
Anyway your blog post and some of the comments on it made me stop and think about what a long hard and ultimately worthwhile road it has been to get to this magically touched happy place where I am at now.
You need to know that sometimes the stuff you put on your blog is meaningful and has a positive impact on some of us that read it. Thank you for this. J-
Not just hate their job...but REALLY hate their job year-after-year-after-year?
They hate the job so much all they can talk about is how much they hate their job?
And yet...year-after-year-after-year...nothing changes?
No new job?
No active search for a new job?
No promotion at the job?
In YOUR opinion...what does that say about them?
Your company has a program where they will pay to train you and get you ready to get Project Manager Certification.
It would be a MAJOR step in your career if you received it.
The company tells you, in no uncertain terms, that they frown upon employees failing the test since they rigurously prepare you.
You know of a former co-worker who didn't pass it and he stayed with the company for only a couple of months after he failed.
Would you, in the position you feel you're in now, try and get your Project Management Certification?
Or do you believe the risk would be too great right now...FOR YOU?
You and your best friend IM pretty much throughout the day at work.
You're both VERY conservative at the office but yall cut the fool outside of work.
When you get to the office you see your best friend has already logged on and you send a message as one would only send to their best friend.
They don't respond for hours but no biggie...that's how yall get down.
You go into your meeting where you're giving a presentation to your department.
Your computer is hooked to the projector.
In the middle of your presentation your best friend responds to your IM from earlier which you'd X'd out of but forgot to LOG out of.
Don't make me fuck you up.
How do you handle?
You loan a coworker $100.
The coworker said they'd pay you back in two weeks on payday.
Payday comes and goes...no dice.
Another payday comes and goes...no dice.
So you ask and they start bobbing and weaving. Ignoring you basically.
What do you do?
Would you get HR involved?
You're out of work and not the type to sit around doing nothing waiting on the phone to ring.
You have a friend who owns a small business and you start helping them out.
You go to a meeting with the friend with one of their clients.
The client contacts you after the meeting and offers you a job because they were extremely impressed by you.
What do you do?
Um...yeah...no. Take yo azz up to them people job and do what they are paying you to do while you are there during the time they are paying you to be there.
What is WITH people? Does this attitude ever surprise you?
You're in charge of the office Holiday gift exchange.
You cut out everyone's name and put it in a container to be passed around at the weekly staff meeting.
You leave your desk and return to find a manager going through the container.
You clear your throat and they turn around looking guilty.
What do you say?
I'm in Santa Monica, California at the American Film Market. We brought the first looks for our film, "The Coalition" here and we've been rocking and rolling the entire time.
We've had back-to-back meetings with people who buy and sell film. People who give you 15 minutes to convince them that you and your product are a good fit for their company. People who decide whether or not your film would make money.
This isn't a festival.
Ain't no kee-keeing and shoo-shooing going on.
This is the REAL.DEAL.
Yall know I pay attention to people. It's an occupational hazard. I watch people and am thoroughly entertained by simply watching.
I watched an EXTREMELY talented young man walk around dressed like a hobo. LIke...if he'd walked outside and pulled his grocery cart full of belongings out of an alley out back...I wouldn't have been surprised. I saw this and thought to myself...WHO IN THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS??????????
If Will Smith rolled up in there in sweats and a t-shirt...he's still get mad respect.
Denzel Washington? Same thing.
Clint Eastwood? He could show up in cowboy boots and boxers and folks would follow him around like ducklings.
These people have proved themselves in this industry so they get respect and can pretty much do whatever, whenever ya know?
Someone new to this however? You might need to show some respect to the process. Iron your damn clothes. Put on something presentable. Nobody is saying you gotta go Tom Ford on them mind you...but clean, pressed and appropriate should be a no-brainer.
At least to me.
I'm 42 years old and I still, as yall know, AGONIZE over what I'm going to wear when I need to show folks I respect the process and take my business seriously. These young folks on some other stuff. They're just so ARROGANT and are already so big, in their own head, that they feel like folks just need to hand ish to them.
That ain't how it works.
You have to get folks to WANT to work with you and/or help you and seriously...who wants to work with someone who couldn't even put in minor effort on their appearance?
Show up people. Show up and get in the game. Don't make it so hard on yourself.
Put your damn cleats on.
Who is teaching these kids how to handle business? Are you ever surprised at how some folks decide to show up looking during career related meetings?