Rantings of a Creole Princess

Convo at 13700

Aunt:  I don't think you've found it yet.  Keep looking.  In fact...I think you should go to New York and find something there.

Me:  New York?

Aunt:  Absolutely.  In fact...maybe I should meet you there.

Me:  In New York?

Aunt:  Yes...why are you repeating everything I say?

Me:  Um...sorry.  But you want to meet me in New York to help me find an outfit when you know I've purchased 4 dresses, 2 jumpsuits, a suit, a couple of blouses and 3 pair of shoes so far to choose from.

Aunt:  Exactly.  I don't think you've found it yet.  When should we go?  And don't side eye me over this phone.  I know how you and SIP get down.

 

SIP:  (mid-o_0)  *GULP*

 

Convo at 13700

Monica Mingo:  my husband needs a transplant

Kayla:  What kind of transplant?

Monica Mingo:  brain

Monica Mingo:  he's crazy

Kayla:  LMAO!

 

Convo at 13700

Shelly:  I have to go to the dermatologist.

Me:  You breaking out from something?

Shelly:  Ever since I had Cole I have breakouts on my arm.

Me:  On ya arm?

Shelly:  Chirren ruin ya.

Me:  Goodbye Shelly.

 

 

SIP:  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Did any "weird" things start happening or change up for you after birth?

Convo at 13700

Me:  I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!   YOU GET A SURPRISE THIS WEEK!  ANYTHING YOU WANT! 

E:  Cool.

Me:  What do you want?

E:  (with evil, diabolical smile)  Finland.

 

SIP:  This kid is starting to scare me.

Convo at 13700

Shelly:  Know what I'm starting to believe now?

Me: What?

Shelly:  I'm starting to believe Tupac really is dead. 

Me:  *BLINK*

Shelly:  I mean...he hasn't had any new music in a while.

Me:  Bye Shelly.

Convo at 13700

E is standing near me talking about some Godzilla movie.

Robby passes by him and pushes him.

E stumbles a bit looking at him odd.

E:  (laughing)  Um...why?

Unca Robby:  You need to always be alert.  Be ready.  Anything could happen and you need to be aware.  You're at the age where you need to be pushed sometimes for no reason.  That will teach you to stay on guard.

E:  No...that will teach me how to be paranoid.

 

SIP:  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I.LOVE.THAT.KID!

Convo at 13700

T-Rhonda:  The lemonhead man died.
Me:  T-Rhonda...Imma fight you.  What are you talking about?
T-Rhonda:  The lemonhead man died.  You know...the man who created lemonheads.
Me:  Bye T-Rhonda.

Creator of Lemonheads candy dies at age 93

Convo at 13700

E:  Where is Sundance again?
Me:  Park City, Utah.
E:  Utah is not a real state in my book.
Me:  Um...why?
E:  Cuz it's got a stoopit name.
Me:  Well what about Maryland? 
E:  Apparently it's a terrible place to live.
Me:  Da hell?
E:  I was watching a television show and they threatened to send the guy to Maryland and he started having nightmares.

Me:  *BLINK*

Convo at 13700

Phone rings.  I look down at the number that has been programmed into our home phone since we got the damn phones.

I answer...

Me:  What the hell you want?

Shelly:  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I'm calling to check on that other person living on your forehead.

Me:  Everybody got jokes.

Shelly:  (breathing hard trying to push through the laughter)  HOW IN THE HELL YOUR CLUMSY AZZ DO THAT TO YOUR HEAD???????  THE HELL?  IMMA NEED YOU TO SIT DOWN SOMEWHERE HELL!

Me:  Um...hmmmm...by the way...I won.

Shelly:  So ho.

Five hours of phone conversation later...I took my drugs and went to bed.

SIP:  So...yall used to break up every two years.  This time it was about four years.  Yall gonna stick to four again or ya gonna stretch it out to six?

Me:  Shut up SIP.

Robby:  Yall get on my nerves.

Convo at 13700

E got new glasses since he broke his old ones.

Unca Robby:  I'm going to start calling you Malcolm.

E didn't really respond.

Unca Robby:  Wait...do you even know who Malcolm is?

E:  Some guy.

Unca Robby:  SOME GUY?  MALCOLM X!  YOU DON'T KNOW WHO MALCOLM X IS?

E:  Yeah...some guy who did some important stuff.

Unca Robby:  WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING YOU AT THAT SCHOOL THAT YOU DON'T KNOW WHO MALCOLM X IS?  I'm going find our copy of "The Autobiography of Malcolm X."  I think it's on the shelf with "Notes of a Native Son." 

Unca Robby (to me):  What is Spike Lee's movie rated?

 

SIP:  The irony of this conversation is mind boggling.

Me:  Times like these I wish I had built in cameras always running.

SIP:  E seems a bit confused.

Me:  Hey...the kid knows the definition of 'IRONIC.'  It was on his vocabularly list years ago.

 

Convo at 13700

Phone rings.

Robby brings it to me because I'm rocking and rolling in my kitchen getting my lunch lady on.

Me:  Hello?

Dr. Punkin:  Whatchu doing?

Me:  (WITH THROWED OFF LOOK ON MY FACE!!!!!)  Um...cooking.

Dr. Punkin:  Whatchu cooking?

Me:  Punkin...I'm going to hang up now before I come upstairs and choke you with  your headscarf.

 

SIP:  Imma fight her.

Uncle Robby: Angry White Guy

During the school week, E comes to 13700 after school since his mother doesn't get off until 5:00pm.  E gets here, does his homework, has his snack and gets to do whatever he wants after that.  Usually...it's hang out with his friends.

He has a new friend who rides his bus but doesn't live in our development.  The kid has visited before since the school year started and he's a nice kid...but just a bit...um...erra...AMUSING to observe.

Convo at 13700

A friend was leaving 13700 yesterday and stopped and took a good long look at this:

Friend:  I'm confused.  What's going on here?

Me:  Well...I removed the curtains and had them cleaned.  Then...I got them back and was putting them back up when the phone rang...three weeks ago.

Friend:  Did you three weeks ago?

Me:  I'm not proud of it.  It was lovely seeing you again. 

Friend:  iCan't.

Me:  Drive safe!  Toodles!

Convo at 13700

E:  T-Monnie is there any gumbo left?

Me:  For you?  Of course.  For other people?  No.  The pot is empty.  Let me fix you a bowl.

E:  Yeah!

Me:  Remember when you were 7 or 8 and you didn't think you liked gumbo?

E:  Yeah...but that's only because it looked like polluted soup.

Me:  Polluted soup?  Seriously?

E:  Yeah.  Now I know it is polluted...WITH FLAVOR!

 

SIP:  That kid's funny.

Dear Swiffer:

Let's see how yall stack up in comparison to the humans at 13700.

Are these commercials:

A: Funny

B: Not Funny

What do you think The Robinator thinks?

What do you think I think?

Convo at 13700

Me:  Dude...it's almost Halloween.  What are you going to be this year?  You know that's our holiday.

E:  I don't know.

Me:  What about Harry Potter?

E:  Huh?

Me:  You know...since you now wear glasses.

E:  Naw...Harry Potter is a loser.  A magic loser.

Me:  Um...okay...

 

SIP:  TELL 'EM WHY YOU MAD SON!  YOU STANS FOR HARRY AND E JUST CRAPPED ALL OVER HIM!  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me:  Whatever...Harry is cool.  Humph.

Convo at 13700

It's Cojoe and Andrea's 2nd wedding anniversary time and we're going to Houston to be with our people and have a grand time.

The Robinator and I were out and about running errands and on the list was "ANNIVERSARY GIFT."

Me:  I don't know what in the hell we're going to get them.

Robinator:  What's the traditional thingy?

Me:  Cotton and fine china.

Robinator:  Da hell kinda combination is that?

Me:  I know right?  That's just crazy!  What are we supposed to get them?  T-shirts?

Robinator:  I got it!

Me:  What?

Robinator:  T-shirts that say "This coulda been a plate!"

Me:  *BLINK*

Robinator:  Or just a t-shirt with a plate on it!

Me:  Stop talking to me!

Robinator:  Whatever...you know my idea is good. 

Me:  Imma fight you.

Robinator:  We could start a zazzle t-shirt store and sell them.

SIP:  Is he still talking about plate t-shirts?

Me:  *sigh*

ANY GIFT SUGGESTIONS THAT I COULD PICK UP TODAY????????????????

Convo at 13700

Smart Azz Gonna Be Ex-Framily Member Soon:  You know...I think it might be a dress.

Me:  Huh?

Smart Azz Gonna Be Ex-Framily Member Soon:  That skirt...it could be a dress if you pulled it up.

Me:  Hmmmmm...I guess so huh?  But I'd need boobs to hold that sucker up and well...since I ain't got 'em...Imma keep it as a skirt.

Smart Azz Gonna Be Ex-Framily Member Soon:  Well...yeah...then there's that.

 

 

SIP:  I think she just got at you.  Now I'm not SURE mind you...but I'm thinking so.  Oh...she got you good too.  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me:  Humph.  Imma kick her azz to the curb.  Watch and see if I don't.

Convo at 13700: *BLINK*

Robby:  She obviously has a bidet.

Convo at 13700

Weezy:  Say bruh...you need to buy American.  We got debt.

Me:  I don't like any American cars.

Robby:  Have you looked at any?

Me:  *crickets*

Weezy:  Look at GM man.  You'll like what you see.  We bought the Enclave and love it.

Me:  *crickets*

Do YOU buy American to support AMERICA?

Convo at 13700 in Miami

Me:  Vanilli from Milli Vanilli is trying for a comeback. http://music.ninemsn.com.au/blog.aspx?blogentryid=843680&showcomments=true

Robby:  He should get together with Vanilla Ice and call it Vanilli Ice.

Me:  *BLINK*

Convo at 13700

Robby:  You need to take your truck in and ask him to check the seal-something-or-other.

Me:  Hey...I'm the woman...he won't tell me the right stuff...you need to do it.

Robby:  Yeah...but you're not a typical woman.  You know exactly what you want and how to get it and nobody is going to try and pull the wool over your eyes because they know you'll tag them.

Me:  *BLINK* *BLINK* *SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWLY*

 

SIP:  Me too...I can't figure out if he passed the buck or insulted all women.

Me:  Men suck.

 

What say yall?  Should I cut him?

Baseball

The Robinator is all about baseball.  He played in college and after college and grad school it seems he was always on a league team.  He LURVES baseball.

Me?

Not so much.

Last night I was trying to think of something special to do for him to thank him for being so awesome and I turned on the television and found the channel on a baseball game and DING, DING, DING...I went online to purchase baseball tickets so he can go see the Nationals play ball!

I'm going to be there right next to him and enjoy watching him enjoy himself.

Sure...I don't like baseball but I love and appreciate him more than anyone and anything else in this world.

I woke up this morning to find him grinning at me with this big cheese eating grin.  LOL! 

Him:  Thank you for getting tickets so we can go to a game!

Me:  Ugh!  Moooooooove!  Leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!!!

And he gave me munchy kisses until I giggled so hard I was gasping.

Imma go watch me some baseball with my love.

Now...what should I wear?

Convo at 13700

Connected by DROID on Verizon Wireless

Me:  Da hell are Thirsty paper towels?

Robby:  The first ones I saw at the store.

Me:  Have you ever seen me buy Thirsty paper towels?

Robby:  Have you ever seen me buy paper towels?

Me:  Good point.

Robby:  By the way...I hate buying paper towels.

Me:  *sigh*

Star Trek Big Head

Robby is working from home today.  I'm sitting on the sofa deep conditioning my hair and he starts teasing me about the duct tape on my bonnet part.  I told him that EVERY woman who has owned a bonnet dryer like this has had duct tape on their bonnet part.

Then I notice him switch out his work laptop for his personal laptop and I look over and his evil azz is cackling.  I don't ask why cuz I'm sure he's up to something evil.

I get an email from him a minute later with these pictures:

*sigh*  The subject of the email?  "Star Trek Big Head"

It's gonna be a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong day.

 

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttt...

Honors student threatens mom with gun, gets sports car

Me:  Could you imagine?

Robby:  No I couldn't.

Me:  And the mama didn't want to press charges cuz she's an honor student.

Robby:  There's no honor there.

Convo at 13700

I'm watching "Indecent Proposal" for only the second time in my life.

I call Robby at the office and we have the following conversation:

Robby:  Whatcha doing?

Me:  Watching "Indecent Proposal."

Robby:  Why are you watching that?

Me:  It was coming on as I was flipping channels.

Robby:  Oh.

Me:  Would you agree to let me go off with some man for a night in exchange for $1 million dollars?

Robby:  We have to consider inflation.  $2 million however?  I'd have to consider it.

Me:  *sigh*

Robby:  Whatever.   You know I'm like the dad in "Coming to America" when the King of Zamunda was trying to write him a check.  No amount of money.

Me:  Unh huh.

 

Convo at 13700

I just got off the phone with Shelly and Robby walks in the office while he's getting ready for the office.

Robby:  Why you keep calling Rivers Shelly's  "cute lil boyfriend?"

Me:  Cuz that what's Coley calls him.

Robby:  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT KID?????  THAT'S MY BOY!

(Coley:  You going to the movies with your cute lil boyfriend?)

Convo at 13700

E has been traveling out of the country for the past two weeks and we've missed him so.  Robby saw him for the first time today since he's been back.

Robby:  They let you back in the country?

E:  (looking at him like his is CA-RA-ZY!)  Um...yeah...why wouldn't they?

Robby:  I wouldn't have let you through customs if it had been me.

E:  Why?

Robby:  Cuz you might be a terrorist.

E:  (open mouth...close mouth...decides to say nothing)

SIP:  That kid is learning man.  You can't respond to everything that comes out of Robby's mouth.  You'd be bananas.

Goodbye 2010! Hello 2011!

 

2010 was such an AMAZING year for us and we hope it was the same for you guys!  Remember...we can ALWAYS do better!  ALWAYS! 

We hope 2011 is the best year EVER for ALL!

Thank you for your friendship and love!

2011 IS GOING TO ROCK FOR ALL OF US!

SIP:  This slideshow is long and is really just to memorialize the year in pics for us so don't worry about trying to watch it all.  LOL!

OMG! 13700 HAS A BIG AZZ RODENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yall know the kid is squeamish.  Squeamish indeedly!  I didn't THINK we had a rodent...but apparently we do.  I mean...we've had signs that something was tipping around our food while one of us wasn't looking...but seriously?  You never, ever, EVER think that you actually COULD have a rodent and that it could get at food on top of our tables!

Well...I went to bed last night with the bark covered.

When I got up this morning to start breaking it up and packaging it...THIS is what I found when I uncovered it:

Upon closer inspection:

So I'm over here aghast!  AGHAST I TELL YOU!  AGHAST!

Jaru was like...Oooooooooh...I know you're pissed!

Lucy was like...Damn!  I didn't even SEE the rodent this time!

Robby was like...Must be a sneaky, low down dirty rat.

So now I'm over here researching rodent poisoning for a 200 lb rodent.  Cuz he's in here and he must be stopped.

Convo at 13700

SIP:  Pillow talk last night at 13700 almost caused it to go DOWN-T! 

Convo at 13700

I JUST opened my eyes and this is what Robby greeted me with FIRST.THING!

Convo at 13700

Texts

oneblackman:  I think I wanna drive for awhile on the blog.  I know they miss me.

Me:  Get it in playa.  I'll make the announcement.

oneblackman:  I need the log in info again.

Me:  Huh?????????

Phone

Me:  You know you created your own log in and password right?  I don't know that.

oneblackman:  Oh.

 

Convo at 13700

Robby: If I was a number...know what I'd be?

Me:  Um...what?

Robby:  409.

Me:  Um...okay.

Robby: Know why?

Me:  Um...yeah...why?

Robby:  Cuz I clean up good.

Me:  *sigh*

*sigh*

"Thanksgiving ain't over till the leftovers are gone."  - The Robinator

What say YOU?

Convo at 13700

*sigh*

VH1 Soul is on.

Robby walks in and sits down while Tony Rich's video "Nobody Knows" is on.

I'm not paying much attention because I'm texting someone.

Robby:  I want THAT shirt RIGHT.THERE!

Me:  (look up at tv and see this:)

Convo at 13700

Robby:  (getting hugs from Lucy)  I wonder if we could learn how to speak dog?

SIP:  *BLINK*

Robby:  It would be worth a try.  Woof, woof, woof...

Jaru:  (look up at Robby from his nap as if to say...WOO-SHUT-OOF WOO-UP-OOF!)

Me:  You're feeling better huh?

Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup: Super Food

Yesterday I put a whole chicken in a steamer basket of a pot with two carrots, two celery stalks, a whole onion and a whole bunch of garlic.  All the veggies were cut up coarse and thick.

I brought it to a boil and then let it cook down slow for 2 hours.

Then I removed the steamer basket and poured the broth through a strainer.

And I added that back to the pot.

In the pot I put three cut up carrots, three cut up stalks of celery, a handful of pasta noodles, garlic and mushrooms.

I seasoned it to taste.

Then I stripped the chicken off the bones leaving the skin behind.

And I added that to the pot.

Just like my mommy would do.

Then I fed Robby because the poor, sweet, gentle dear is sick and he ate it with a loving smile and no complaints.  He felt instantly better and all warm and cozy inside then he quietly dozed off to sleep with a soft doughy smile on his cherub cheeks.

Ahhhhhhhh...life.

How I'm CURRENTLY looking at Robby:

Dude is soooooooooooooooooooo random!

Ya gotta love him.

What does YOUR S/O do when they first get home?

Convo at 13700

After having our physicals in the same exam room this morning.

Robby:  Feels like we've had our first threesome.

Me:  First and last.

Robby:  Wait...you're not coming with me next year??????????????????????????????

SIP:  Get a room.

Convo at 13700

Robby:  (all random)  You should do a remake of Canonball Run.  The Black version.

Shelly:  Is he being random man again?

Me:  Yup.

Shelly:  Who would play Burt Reynolds?

Me:  Shelly wants to know who would play Burt Reynolds.

Robby:  Denzel Washington.

Shelly:  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me:  Yeah right.  Hi Mr. Washington.  I'm nobody but would you be in my movie?

Shelly:  What about Jamie Foxx?

Me:  Shelly says what about Jamie Foxx?

Robby:  I don't like Jamie Foxx.

Shelly:  Why he don't like Jamie Foxx?

Me:  Why you don't like Jamie Foxx?

Robby:  Cuz he played basketball nekkid.

Me:  Arrrrrrrruuuuu?????

Shelly:  Arrrrrrruuuuu???????

Me:  Where the hell you get that from?

Robby:  Yall never heard 'bout Jamie playing basketball nekkid?

Shelly:  I read ALL the gossip sites and I ain't NEVER heard that.  He making that up.

Me:  You made that up.

Robby:  *clickety.clackety.clickety.clackety* (on computer) Foxx Says Sorry After Naked Basketball Antics

Me:  Woooooooooooooooooooow.

Shelly:  Woooooooooooooooooooooow.

Robby:  Told ya. 

Shelly:  Well what he got against him playing nekkid basketball?

Me:  Shelly say what you got against him playing nekkid basketball?

Robby:  Men don't play nekkid basketball.  That ish just ain't right.  It makes a mockery of the sport.  No.

Me:  You heard that?

Shelly:  Yeah...he gotta point.

SIP:  NEKKID BASKETBALL?  SHOULDN'T THAT HURT?????????????????????????????????

Convo at 13700: Why I can't STAND Jaru!

Before I went to bed last night I made up the basement sofa for a friend of friends in the event he needed to crash at our place since he was riding back to New York today with them.

He ended up not crashing here and I kept telling myself I needed to go downstairs and fold up the clean linen I'd put on the sofa.

Convo at 13700

Me:  I have a problem honey.

Robby:  What?

Me:  When I wake up in the morning I have a weird pain in the heel of my left foot.

Robby:  Know what that means?

Me:  (eagerly) What?

Robby:  That you got a hurt foot.

SIP:  *HARD.STARE*

Robby:  Whatchu want me to say Monnie?  I'm not a doctor.  Go to the doctor hell!

SIP:  *HARD.STARE*

DAMN THE ROBINATOR AND TBS! JUST DAMN THEM!

So...I HAD to show The Robinator the interpretive dance video below.  After he laughed to the point where I thought he'd cough up a lung that fool said:

The Robinator:  She looks like an old Lil' Magic.

I.QUIT.

Convo at 13700

I was talking to a friend recently who is in a new relationship.

Poor thing thought something was wrong with her guy.

See...he does stuff like...make jokes sometimes when she's being serious.

Laughs at his farts.

Chuckles at boobie references.

Asks her crazy azz questions.

Can be a big baby.

Thinks fart jokes are the funniest.things.ever!

Likes to do weird dancing poses when he's naked.

Pulls his underwear up over his navel and walks around like an old man.

ETC.

As we were talking, Robby was in the background playing Marvin Sease.  Why?  No reason...he just felt like it.  He was listening to the words and straight HOWLING laughing.  Like...it sounded like 6 people.  He then came over in front of me and started weird dancing in that way that men do when they are being goofy but since he REALLY can't dance...it looks as if he would look if I was on acid watching him.  I mean...even his mouth was contorting weird-ish-ey. 

One line in the Marvin Sease song was crude as HELL.  Robby laughed and said..."DID YOU HEAR THAT?  AAAAHHHHAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAAA!  MARVIN IS A FOOL!"

I was quiet.

Friend:  Monnie...

Me:  *sigh*

Friend:  It's all of them huh?

Me:  Yup.

Friend:  So...they don't grow out of that silly stuff?

Me:  Nope.

Friend:  Oh.

Robby:  DID YOU HEAR THAT?  LISTEN MONNIE!  LISTEN!  MARVIN IS THE MAAAAAAAAAAN!  YALL AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON MARVIN!

Me:  I gotta go.  He thinks I'm listening to him.

Friend:  I'm sorry.

Me:  For what? 

Friend:  *sigh*  I don't know.

Me:  Yeah...it's like that.

What about YOU?  Is YOUR man a big kid that sometimes drives you nuts with the silly stuff he does?  What is his FAVORITE silly thing to do that you'd think he'd grow out of by now?

Convo at 13700

Friend:  Her parents don't like her boyfriend.

Me:  Why?

Friend:  Because he has a wife.

*CRICKETS*

iCan't.  Seriously...iCan't.  This was one of the most EPIC reasons I've ever heard for why parents didn't like someone's man.  I mean really.  How do you even fix your face to even let your parents KNOW your "man" has a wife?  How do you tell your father that you're someone's mistress?  How do you tell this to your mother who has supported you throughout every.single.thing you've ever done?

Did your parents ever not like someone you dated?  What reason did they give?

Convo at Hotel in Chicago

(I'm in the bathroom doing pin curls.  Robby comes in and looks at me.)

Robby:  It's a good thing folks don't get a glimpse of what you like like BEFORE you jump clean.

Me:  Boy please...all Divas have downtime hell.

Robby:  Not Beyonce.

Me:  Whatever.  Hell...she has to put on hair, eyelashes and a ton of makeup.

Robby:  You just love to ruin ish for me don't you?

Me:  Just keeping it real dawg.

Convo at 13700

Robby:  Hey...I'm making Chicago travel arrangements.

Me:  Okay.

Robby:  We won't be able to spend any real time there because of my work schedule.

Me:  Okay.

SILENCE.

Me:  I'm going to have to break up with you huh?

Robby:  What?

Me:  I'm going to have to start going to stuff without you prolly and you meet me there on the weekends.

Robby:  Probably.

Me:  You think it makes me look like a big baby that I like for you to travel with me?

Robby:  You ARE a big baby.  Everybody knows this.  Nobody cares.

Me:  That sucks.  I kinda thought I was a badazz.

Robby:  Well you're not.  Wipe your chin.  You have food on it.

Convo at 13700

Me:  Damn.  Lyfe Jennings got 3.5 years in prison.

Robby:  Good thing he didn't get life.

Me:  Stop talking to me.

PAUSE

Me:  I wonder what he did?

Robby:  Spelled his name wrong.

Me:  STOP TALKING TO ME!

Robby:  He's a STATISTIC now.

Me:  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Robby:  I'll be here all week.