Rantings of a Creole Princess

Used To Know

A couple of weeks ago I received a friend request from someone I used to know a long time ago.  We never really hung out...we just knew a lot of the same people and she used to date one of my boys.  She was that girl who always swore up and down that someone was messing around with someone just because they were a man and a woman and spent time together.  Very closed minded and seriously someone I never really said much around cuz everyone knows if I don't care for someone...I don't talk to them.

And I can talk to anyone.

Long story short...I never really TOOK to her.

No biggie...you won't TAKE to everybody.

Simple.

I accepted her request and put her on one of the lists where you can see what I want  you to see that and that's it.  I didn't even go too deep into her profile when I was clicking around.  I remembered who she was as soon as I looked at her profile picture.  I think I may have clicked through a few of her profile pics and that's about it.

Not even twenty minutes later I received a message from her which said that she'd secretly wished "I'd gained a lot of weight too."

I put it on the blog as a scenario wondering what you guys would have done.  I've since been asked by three people if the scenario was about me and, if so, what did I say or do.

I said nothing to her.

I deleted her azz.

And then I blocked her for good measure so she couldn't send me anymore messages.

I didn't even think about it.  I just clicked DELETE FROM FRIENDS.

Cuz I don't need that kind of energy in my life right now.  

Yes I know she was probably making a dig at herself.  I do.  But seriously...I try my best to steer clear of insecure people cuz some of my worst encounters with people have been with those who are so insecure about themselves they've made themselves miserable.  So miserable that they stop focusing on their life and start focusing on someone else all negatively.

And I'm not in the mood for all of that these days.

I can't really explain it but had she changed up other parts of that email...I wouldn't have felt like that.  I would have kept it moving but there was just a straight up icky feeling in her words and I felt grateful that I hadn't been around her in all these years.  I just don't want to intentionally connect myself with anyone negative.  Does that mean I don't know anyone negative?  Lord...I wish that was true...but it's not.  I know a lot of negative people.  People I love, care for and respect.  And THEY get on my damn nerves from time-to-time where I'm not in the mood so why in the world would I open myself up to someone who is straight up leading off with insecure ish from jump?

It's just not worth it to me and if that makes me a bad person, oh well.

Imma be bad.  

 

Audio of "If My Mommy Was Alive"

There is nothing more I could say about my mommy than I've said here which would make you understand who she was.  Who she IS to me.  

I hope you had the loveliest mommy's day.  As a mommy-less and child-less woman...it wasn't all that spiffy for my today.  Sometimes...it's VERY hard.

"If My Mommy Was Alive"

Allergy Alert!

I had another outbreak this weekend on my face so I went to the doctor this morning.

Guess what I'm allergic to!

Nothing much...just pollen.

o_flipping_0

SERIOUSLY.

The country girl is now allergic to pollen.

Pollen which flies through the air and touches my super sensitive face.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  

I can't make this shit up if I tried.

Doc says when the pollen is really high...I gotta lay low.

Just crazy.

He gave me some ointment for flare-ups.

Yup...more ish I have to keep with me at all times.

*sigh*

I'm not feeling this aging nonsense at all.  Developing new allergies is NOT fun.

UGH!

Anybody out there allergic to POLLEN?

 

Randoms of a Creole Princess

Whoever said the steroids would mess up my sleep ain't told nothing but the TRUTH!    

I could not go to sleep last night to save my life.  

I finally dozed off in the four o'clock hour and stayed in bed until right around nine.

My face is 98% back to normal thank goodness.

I was WAY upset about all of that.

Allergic reactions are NO.JOKE!

I'm finally realizing I should have been MUCH more concerned about the swelling being so close to my throat than I probably was.  

I'm not the best with face problems and it shows.  LOL!

That was Saturday.  It got MUCH worse by Sunday.  I'm talking three times worse.

You know it was bad when The Robinator didn't make not nainh ainh joke about it.  LOL!

Him was worried.

By Sunday night the swelling was gone, but the fine red bumps were still all over.

They're almost all gone this morning.

I've realized I'm kinda special when it comes to cars.

I had to drop Deuce off to get it serviced and they gave me a loaner car which was pretty basic.  

I had some serious first world only problems as I realized it didn't have anything even REMOTELY automatic in it.  LOL!  

When's the last time you actually reached out the window to adjust the mirrors?  

Think about it!  Seriously!

I couldn't remember...it's been that long.

I'm getting soft.

Imma have to rectify that soon.

Too much comfort takes that much needed edge off you.  LOL!

My framily gives me so much...they have no idea.

We met with someone AMAZINGLY AWESOME OUTSTANDING AND FABULOUS last week.

Man...we were seriously in AWE.

We just wanna make movies.

I can never just sit and read a magazine anymore.

Seems I only like the pictures.

My mind is always racing.  

It's never, ever, ever quiet.

EVER!

That Ruby Red Sunset drink?

BEST.THING.EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So much is going on man...awesome stuff too.

I hope you know I always wish you the best of it all and I hope you're figuring out ways to follow your dreams no matter how big they are.

What's going on random with you?

 

 

Convenience

The older I get the more my life is dictated by convenience I find.  ESPECIALLY the convenience of drive time.  

I hate driving and I HATE driving to the city more than anything.

I totally wish everything I needed to do was literally around the corner from my house and, increasingly, I'm searching my area to see if there is an alternative nearby to what I need.

I'm currently sitting on the deck with swollen eyes and an itchy rash all over my face.  I'm miserable but know that going to the Emergency Room isn't going to do anything other than annoy me even moreso because I'll have to pay the Emergency Room co-pay part of my insurance and I'm not trying to do that for an allergy.  I'm taking Benadryl and have resigned myself to calling my dermatologist early Monday moning to go see what I need to do.

Then I thought about how far away from my home she is and I'm ike...UGH!  So now I'm wondering if I should just go see my primary care doctor, who is 5 minutes away, and, if worst comes to worst...he can just send me to a dermatologist he trusts closer to our home.

That said, if he finds someone for me out here...there will only be one doctor we use who isn't in our area.

What about you?  Are the majority of the doctors you use close to your home?  Do you intentionally look for healthcare professionals and personal service providers closer to your home?

Saturday

My mommy-in-law/mommy-in-life and my sister-in-law/sister-in-life came for a quick visit and I wanted to get some pictures of them together with The Robinator out and about.

When I woke up on Saturday morning, it was obvious I was having an allergic reaction to something so I decided I'd be in as few pictures as possible cuz seriously...nobody wants to memorialize a straight up allergic reaction that way.  LOL!

We struck out and hit up a few of the more scenic places near our home and I was able to snap some really good pictures of them and the VeggieBee even got a few with me in them where I didn't look TOO puffy faced even though I was puffy faced indeed.

One thing I've realized is that I really like taking pictures of people and I totally enjoy their reactions when they see an awesome pic of themselves.  It makes me wonder if they ever know how truly beautiful they really are.

My sneakers make me happy.  LOL!

I think I'm going to get me some photo editing software so I can do stuff to pictures and make them even more beautiful.  Does anyone have any suggestions for an amateur photo taker?  Nothing too, too technical mind you...but just something I can use that doesn't cost a lot.

MY HUSBAND IS AWESOME.SAUCE!

I just wanted to shout that from the rooftops!  LOL!

I hope you feel the same about your spouse / significant other.  It's seriously THE.BEST.FEELING in the world.

I promise!

Additional Heartbeat

Remember when I was dealing with the pain in my chest and they concluded that it was inflammation that reared up again?  Well...I had to go through a whole lot of testing and whatnot.  One test was a stress test.

I showed up and showed out.  Like...running like a big azz dude with a baseball bat was chasing me all the while holding a conversation with the doctors monitoring me.

Every now and then...I have a weird feeling in my chest.  Like...my heart just lurches for just a SECOND.  I don't pay it any mind because it happens for a SECOND and then all is well.  

But I keep it in the back of my mind. 

It usually only happens when I'm REALLY stressed and my heart is racing like CRAZY while I'm trying to appear outwardly calm.

After the stress test the doctors kept talking about how well I did and that they'd be in touch with me regarding the official results.

Monday I got a call from the cardiologist stating they needed me to come in.  So...since Monday...I've been kinda weirded out and it didn't help any that I got a late night call Monday night which woke me up out my sleep and had me all panickey.  (If massive amounts of blood isn't involved...just call me first thing in the morning PLEASE!)

My appointment was scheduled for Wednesday.

Yesterday.

I went in and the cardiologist told me that they found some additional heartbeats toward the end of my race with the machine and he wanted to talk to me about it.  We discussed the feeling I get sometimes and when I get them.  That's it's usually when I'm in a high stress situation and trying to remain cool.

He listened and then said that, since I'm in such great shape...he's not really worried but, if I was and we wanted to really get to the bottom of it...I needed to wear a monitor for a while and track exactly when it happens and WHY it happens.

I told him that I didn't think it would be necessary because he doesn't know what I already know...SIP is going to end up being the death of me.

I thanked him and went to check out only to find I had a bill of $665 because I have a high deductible and it's my first time hitting up real doctors this year.  As I paid the UNEXPECTED bill trying to not cuss out everyone from the lovely, friendly clerk to the doctor who ordered all of them damn tests knowing I had GOOD INSURANCE...

...my heart lurched...but just for a SECOND.

It's a NEW DAY!

Last night I went to bed in a foul, foul mood.  

I ended up watching a 24 hours news channel last  night for hours regarding developments in the Trayvon Martin murder after reading more stuff about people being mad that Rue was Black and then seeing that stoopit azz picture with that dumb azz t-shirt.

So yeah...I wasn't in the best mood.

This morning I got up and did my normal morning routine.

When it was time to get dressed I was still in a foul mood made even FOULER by looking at the pile of unfolded clothes in the basket on the floor of our bedroom.  

Why?

Cuz I needed to get dressed out of that basket.

UGH!

And then...I looked on the floor next to the basket and VOILA!  ONE OF THE BLACK TANK TOPS I WANTED TO WEAR WAS ON THE FLOOR NEXT TO THE BASKET CUZ IT FELL OFF IT SOMEHOW!

SCORE!

SUDDENLY MY OUTLOOK ON LIFE WAS SHINY AND BRIGHT AGAIN!  THE UNIVERSE WAS SENDING ME A SIGN!  GO ME!  GO ME!  GO ME!

SIP:  Whatever...we'll take it.  For now.

How are YOU feeling today?  Tell us something that made you smile today! 

 

Relaxed to Natural Transitioning WITHOUT the Big Chop

A few weeks ago I got a haircut by my stylist who usually cuts my hair every September and every March.

She's currently VERY pregnant.

She sat on a stool while she cut my hair, which she never does, and she kept telling me to sit up or scrunch down in the chair.

I did as I was told.

I didn't pay much attention because she's the person who has never cut it wrong.

See...I like my hair a certain length so I can get a nice ponytail.  If it's too long it makes me look like a horseface so I like it layered so it frames my face well.

The kid is a one trick pony.

SIP:  What's with all these horse references this morning?

Me:  Seriously...that's what you're focusing on?  Sheesh!  

N E WAY!

When she finished styling my hair it was very curly which confused me because we never do my hair very curly.

So I felt some kinda way.

I drove home and Robby scrunched up his face at my too tight curls.  

Robby:  What happened to your hair?  You look like an old lady.

SIP:  Not a good time dude.  Not a good time.

7th Year Anniversary at 13700!

My husband and I celebrated our 7th year anniversary today.  

It started when I got home from the airport at 1:30am.

I'd taken a break while in Scottsdale and bought his gift after much research and agonizing.

I walked upstairs while he got my bags out of the truck and pulled out his card and gift and put it on his nightstand to surprise him.  

As I rushed to my side of the bed to pretend I hadn't just been rushing to set his gift up for him I saw, on my nightstand, a gift and card from him.

I waited until he got upstairs and we opened our cards and then something happened which made us both laugh out loud.

Basically our cards said the same thing.  That sharing life with each other is the BEST.THING.EVER.

I don't have a whole lot more to say than that about this because yall already know how I feel about my husband.  He's the best part of me.  When I'm being level headed...it's truly because of his love, advice and general cousel.  He is, quite simply, the reason I can be the best me.

That dude rocks.

I hope all of you have the type of love that makes you soar and, if you don't...I wish it for you.  Why? Because I have it and I know it's what you put on top of awesome...AWESOME.SAUCE.

 

 

Rocking My #NintendoEnthused T-Shirt!

Tomboy Rules!

On Monday evening I needed a break so I went shopping and people watching.  I'm currently writing something with a mother-daughter angle so I kinda intentionally went to stores where mothers and daughters would be.  

I was in one store looking around and noticed a girl who couldn't be more than 12 in jeans, a fleece and sneakers.  Her mother was in full on runway mode.

The mother was picking out all kinds of clothes with bright, bold Spring colors and the daughter was so uninterested...it didn't make sense.  At first I thought she was one of those entitled, privaledged brats but then I noticed that the young lady's shoulders were all slumped over and she really looked miserable.

It made sense when, later, her mother showed her a gorgeous dress and she told her mother she wasn't wearing that and her mother snapped at her that it's time she stopped acting like a boy cuz it's not a cute look.

My head snapped up as did a couple other women who were in the vicinity.

I left cuz this could have been me and my mother at age 12 and it brought up some hurtful memories I thought were long gone.

Why is it the older you get...the more poignent bad memories seem to be???????

I thought about the scene in the movie "Pariah" where the young lady and her mother had a similar conversation and I wondered was her mother scared that the young lady was gay.

I can set a table properly.

I used to play tackle football with the boys in my neighborhood.

I was in a "bike gang." Yes...you read right. But they were Huffy bikes and I was 10.

I can braid my hair.

I've been "hotlined" by a softball so many times I can't count.

I look super cute in dresses.

I love jewelry.

I love sweats.

I can arrange flowers expertly.

Jeans and t-shirts suit me perfectly and I wear them with my mommy's pearls.

I love Martha Stewart.

My boxing gloves are pink.

My best friends are mostly guys.

I can cook a meal from practically nothing.

I can get gourmet in the kitchen with the best of them.

I know my politics.

I listen to rap.

I listen to Whitney.

I love making our house a home.

I have a wonderful husband and he loves me dearly.

I'm a good person.

I have NEVER kissed a girl nor have I ever had a desire to.

I'm a PROUD girly tomboy girl.

Sometimes that girly shit is too much pressure when you have tons of other things on your mind as a kid.  I mean...how hard is it REALLY to let a child be themselves until they figure it out on their own terms with your LOVING guidance?

Those of you who were tomboys growing up...what's YOUR story?  Did anyone try to force you to wear dresses?  How old were you when you decided you liked dresses too?  Did anyone give you crap for preferring jeans over skirts?  

And...do you think you can STILL climb a tree?  LOL!

 

I rocked white-on-white today BEFORE Labor Day!

New Haircut!

 

 

PST

When I was going to New Orleans for Mardi Gras last month...there was a woman on the plane who'd never flown before.  She was with 5 of her girlfriends.  They were all in their late 50's.  All of her girls were keeping her pumped up.  Telling her it wasn't going to be so bad and that it would be over before she knew it.  She was like..."I'm prayed up.  So I'm good. I'm good."

During take-off, as these things sometimes go out of Baltimore...it got a bit shaky before we were where the plane needed to be before it leveled off.  I saw one of her girlfriends reach for her hand and hold it.

When the first drink cart came by I gave her a coupon for a free drink to calm her nerves and to congratulate her on making her first flight.

Her:  I haven't made it yet.

Me:  Well I'm on here with you and it's not my time to go yet...so we're good.

We all laughed.

I started talking to them and finally asked my girl why she'd never been on a plane before. 

Her:  I was always too scared.

Me:  Why did you decide to fly now?

Her:  I needed to do something for me.

Her Girl:  Yeaaaaaaah!  And we're going to do just that down at Mardi Gras.  The city ain't safe!

And they all laughed and everyone who could hear them laughed and smiled too.

I thought about what she said and I realize I know a lot of people who feel the same way.  That they just really need to do something for them but they don't know what exactly.  They feel like they want to do something new.  Something different.  Something that will make them feel...ALIVE.

Someone I love told me they want to do what I do.  I was like...you want to make movies?  They laughed and told me no...they just want to be able to get up everyday and have the opportunity to do something they love to do.

I want that for them too.

Another person I love is in the middle right now.  Like...they are at a point in life where they can do whatever they want to do.  They just need to figure out what to do that will  make them feel that feeling of completeness so many people crave.  

A mission.

For them.

The thing I know for sure is this.  Just like that wonderful woman on that plane had dear friends who were willing to take that ride with her...I've had the same by way of unconditional support.  I'm sure they hashed it out and played devil's advocate and vice versa and I'm sure that the second she made up her mind for sure...they were on board cheering her on.

I hope, wish and pray I'm that way for those I love.  That they know I will play devil's advocate with the best of them until they make their decision and then...I'm going to support and love them through their choices.  

When you love people or even have genuine affection for them...you want them to be happy.  I hope you're out there helping folks be happy and...I hope you have people to do the same for you.  Sure...there will be disappointments but we have to learn how to deal with disappointments as adults and try not to take so much personal.  We have to understand that sometimes...some people REALLY want to be there for you...but they simply don't have what it takes to be what you need.

And that's okay.

Stay prayed up and get you some friends who will take you on the first trip of many during the ride of your life.

It's that time of year for me again.  Film season.  I have some big announcements coming up.  :)

Yall keep me prayed up and thank you for coming along for the ride.  I hope you know I'd do the same for you.

Love,

Monnie

 

Randoms of a Creole Princess

I get a migraine on both sides of Midol Week.

I woke this morning with the worst migraine I've had in a long, long, time.

I decided to go home for Mardi Gras at the last minute.

I was going to stay until Thursday.

I was hit with the urge to be at my home with my Robinator.

So I flew home last night.

And I don't feel guilty.

Last week I started having a slight pain in my chest.

This week it's way worse when I take a deep breath.

I think I pulled a muscle.

Imma go see 'bout that.

I take post card worthy pictures  with my camera.

Other people take crappy pictures of me with my camera.

Hence...I never have pictures of myself.

Humph.

There is absolutely nothing better in this world than having coffee in your mug, in your home wearing your pajamas.

My home is my haven.

I love it when Robby picks me up from the airport and talks nonstop with things he's saved up to talk to me about while I was gone.  LOL!

My head is THUMPING!

I was traveling yesterday and struck up conversations with a bunch of people heading back from Mardi Gras.

Did yall know MOST people's family drives them crazy?

Think about it...YOU'RE someone's family and I bet you drive them crazy too.

Crazy huh?

It's film festival season.

I dont' think I'm going to bite. 

Too many to choose from and we're in pre-production for another film while completing one.

I don't want to be super stressed at the start of another film.

Again...WHY DOES FAMILY DRIVE YOU NUTS??????????????????????

If I give up shopping for Lent...that would be cool huh?  Instead of three whole months.

When you have as many clothes as we do...shopping for new ones is a luxury right?

Right.

I wanted to buy a new piece of art while I was home but ran out of time to go back to the place I saw something I liked.

Good thing I had enough sense to grab the card huh?

GO ME!

A guy told me his daughter wants to be a photographer.

I told him I hope he and his wife support her cuz there is no telling where she'll go with their support.

I'm sooooooooooo watching "The View" today cuz Star Jones is going to be on. 

I'm hungry.

Food + Migraine makes me want to earl.

What's going on random with you?

A Cancer Survivor on Susan G. Komen

Yall know I've never been one to hold my status as a cancer survivor on my sleeve.  I was one of the lucky ones.  Because I had healthcare...I had the benefit of early detection so I survived and, 18 years later...I'm still here alive and proud to be so.  However, I didn't have to do much ya know...why?  BECAUSE I HAD HEALTHCARE.

Many people don't.

Planned Parenthood provides healthcare for millions of people who aren't as blessed as I am and there is no way in hell I'd ever do anything which would diminish their place in society.  So many people can't afford adequate healthcare and Planned Parenthood makes sure as many as possible have access to treatments for early detection which saves lives.  Their offices are posted up in areas which NEED it. 

Cutting funding for such an organization based on ri-damn-diculousness has caused me to have a seriously negative reaction to Susan G. Komen and yeah...ya girl is DONE.

See...I know I'm blessed and I know I've always been.  I've never had a period of time in my life where I didn't have the best healthcare possible.  I also know I'm not the norm because LOTS of Americans can't say the same.

I've never been to a health clinic but I'm glad to know they exist.  I'm the type of American who wants Americans to have what they need to survive.  EVEN IF THEY CAN'T PAY FOR IT.  We're not a third world country.  This is something we CAN do.

Again...I don't wear my status as a cancer survivor on my sleeve but I do speak up when I see some seriously crappy crap being rolled out.

Be a better person.

If you want to help...donate to Planned Parenthood or the American Cancer Society.  Help save a life that is just as valuable as my life was.  Help somebody who doesn't have it as good as we do.

We're better than this.

Fug Susan G. Komen and their right wing bullshit rhetoric.  I'm ashamed I was once a supporter.  Sheesh.

99% Better!

I'm feeling much better.  Just a bit of congestion left and then I'll be back to my normal breathing cranky-because-I'm-cranky-and-not-because-I'm-sick-self!

By the way...anybody want Shelly?  I was telling her about something I need help with this morning and she stated that if I paid her $95K she'd move up here and take care of it for me so I nevr had to worry about it.

o_0

I recognize attempts to exploit.  LOL!

GO ME!

Wait...I was sick for 10 days.  That seems like a lot.  The last time you were sick...how long did it take?

Feed Me Seymore

Yesterday I was out all day.  I didn't think I'd be gone as long as I was so I didn't make The Robinator's dinner before I left.  There was a chicken caesar salad in the fridge but that was going to be for his lunch today.  I looked down at the time and realized that I'd miss dinner time and he was on his own.

I feel the need to point out that he was perfectly fine with fending for himself but I felt awful cuz seriously...my husband doesn't ask for much.  He likes the house to be clean, his clothes clean and put where they are supposed to be and lunch and dinner. 

He cooks breakfast at 13700.

We have a housekeeper.

My schedule is getting hectic again and I am balancing it the best way I can.  When I travel, I cook for him and put the food in the fridge or freezer so he always has home cooked meals.  He tells me I do too much but really...I feel like I don't.  Why?  Because he doesn't ask for much and he affords me the life I have.  The life I get to dream big and soar in.

Sometimes I don't think he understands what it means to me to have his unconditional love and support so I feel the need to remind him that it means the world to me and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Not even an academy award.

NOTHING.

I was gone all last week and returned home to find he'd vacuumed and straightened up.  He'd even made the bed.  Sure it was made like a man makes a bed but...he'd made it.  I pictured him tidying up for me so I didn't feel guilty that our house was unkempt and I felt so good deep down inside.  I felt loved and appreciated.

I came in and ate something really quick and shared it with him.  I couldn't get enough of his hugs and kisses.  I couldn't stop touching him.

Sometimes I think of my life and I get so "stoved" up.  I think that with all of the pain and sorrow, something as amazing as my marriage came to fruition and I know there is a presence far greater than anything human in play to make it all work out as it has.  I love my husband so much.  He is a true man in the truest sense of the word.  He gets up, goes to the office and puts his all into working hard to make sure we get to have the life we have.  And then...

...he comes home and puts in the same amount of effort into US.

Sometimes the magnitude of the love I feel for him is so enormous it's scary but I wouldn't have it any other way.  Our home is our haven.  Red carpets, fancy people...none of that means a thing because I'd rather be with him.  Laughing, joking, crying, loving.

I love that dude so much man.

I wish the enormity of this type of love for you and for it to be reciprocated.  Be happy.  Choose happy.  Give what you wish to receive and watch the lifestyle you hope for blossom. 

*sigh*

Contentment is so miraculous.

I Believe...

...you have more power than you think you do.

I've been under the spell of something for a long time which was produced by guilt more than anything.  I felt like there were things I'd done wrong which contributed to something I couldn't control and...I allowed it to make me act and react constantly.

If you'd asked me two weeks ago why I still felt I needed to do what I was always doing I'd tell you a story.  Something intricate.  Something in code.  Something so you didn't know the truth I didn't want you to know which was much bigger to me than it ever seems to be to anyone else.

If you ask me today however...I'll tell you the truth.  That I did it because I felt I had to.  Because I felt I didn't have a choice.

CHOICES.

We all have them you know.  Seriously.  We all do.

And I've finally figured out that I can't hold myself accountable for anyone else's choices in life because I can't make decisions for anyone other than myself.  When circumstances take hold of your peace and sanity you SHOULD ask yourself questions and the answers you come up with should be unique to you and who you are.  Who you've always been.  Who you WANT to be.

I'm finally free of the guilt my parents saddled me with.  One text freed me.  One text came through and I saw things more clear than I've ever seenT it before.  I saw my husband, hard working, wonderful, amazingly patient and giving and I saw me.  Making excuses for the choices of others.  Putting off things we wanted to help erradicate the choices of others.

Because I was saddled with guilt which was beget far before I was born.

That text freed me and allowed me to see what I've needed to see for so long.

I have more power than I think I do.  In my own life.  In my own world.  I can't live for anyone other than me and when you've been used up...when you've received that text that crosses the line drawn in the sand...only then will you be free. 

Well...that's how it was for me.

One text.  One request which would normally pull at my heart and make my guilt want to help...delivered me to a world where I realized that, no matter what I did, it would always be the same.

So I bow out gracefully and pray for the best for all involved.

I'm done.

I'm through.

I've given myself permission to LIVE for me and mine alone.

And mine includes the occupants of 13700 until others recognize that I'm not what they imagine me to be.

I can't.

I've got shit to do and I work too gotdamn hard to be used up because of the CHOICES of others.

 

Randoms of a Creole Princess

I woke up yesterday with a scratchy throat and hot breath coming out of my nose.

I took Theraflu last night because I don't have time to be sick.

Am I the only person who gets WIPED OUT behind some cold and flu drogas? 

Sheesh!

I feel like I am straight dragging.

And my throat is still scratchy.

My breath is coming out hot.

I'm tired.

And my normal snack sized Ziploc bags under my eyes are straight up GALLON SIZE.

I feel asleep without putting on a head scarf and I NEVER do that!

I wanted the Ravens to go to the Super Bowl sooooooooooooooooooo badly.

*sigh*

I'm hurt.

It's supposed to be 60 degrees tomorrow.

Guess the snow will melt away.

o_0

I'm not very fly when it's cold outside. 

I dress for warmth FIRST.

Nothing is worse to me then when my feet are cold.

I'm fighting this cold man.

When I need to write something really, really deep...I imagine being told that the cancer is back and that I'm absolutely going to die.

It's not the part about dying that gets me though. 

It's thinking about leaving Robby alone.

He would be so lonely and sad.

Morbid I know.

Even more morbid that I could never, ever, EVER imagine him being the one who goes away cuz seriously...that's not an option.

I saw a really good movie this weekend.  "A Better Life." 

It was SO good!

Sorry about the super late start.

When ya girl doesn't feel well...it takes a toll.

What's going on random with you?

 

Randoms of a Creole Princess

During the after Christmas sales I purchased one of those multi-makeup kits from Nordies.

I've used it once.

(Insert Overton in a fetus position saying "CLOWN" HERE.)

The Robinator is simply the most wonderful guy alive. 

Even when he's cussing...he brings me joy.

I sooooooooooooooooooooooo want the Ravens to go to and win the Superbowl!!!!!

We had our physicals and, apparently, we're doing pretty spiffy. 

The nurse didn't have a watch and looked at me like I did something wrong when I asked why didn't she take our pulse.

o_0

E takes sheer joy in showing off his A's. 

We tricked his mommy recently into thinking he had bad news when in fact he'd made an A on a BIG test.

She almost had a heart attack.

She might cut me.

Jaru and Lucy have both had really good weeks.  No limping.  No whimpers, no nuttin.

I did have to snatch Lucy up when she tried to growl at me though. 

In her old age she tends to think she can do whatever SHE wants to do.

I'm about to rename her Granny.

I'm so proud of myself.  I've kept the laundry done, folded and put away.

Yall have no idea how HUGE this is.

GO ME!

When the laundry is all put away my husband is happier in the morning getting ready to go to the office.

Keeping my home a happy one is a PRIORITY!

I'm writing a book.

I thought this would be easy since I'm good at writing screenplays.

NOT.

My water intake has increased but I need to time it better. 

From now on no water after 8:00pm

Crap...it's after 8:00pm and I haven't taken my vitamin.

I have to take my vitamin at night because vitamins always upset my tummy.

Me no likey upset tummy.

For some odd reason the scar on my fake mastectomy boob has been itching.

It doesn't look weird or anything but yeah...it itches sometimes when before I couldn't tell you the last time I thunk about it.

I don't believe in putting anything off based on what coulda shoulda been.

Live in the NOW.

I can always tell when someone is unhappy.

It makes me want to hug them.

I've amped up my workouts and it shows. 

I'm seriously more toned than I've ever been I think.

But you can't tell unless you see me darn near nekkid and well...that ain't happening.  ROFL!

I hope folks bought "The South Beach Diet" book so they could follow along.  It's only like $8 on the Kindle app.

When we went for our annual physicals I asked my doctor about my tummy and how it gets upset if I feel full and I have to get it OUT almost immediately.

He told me to not get full.

I appreciate his sarcastic wit.

I love Deuce but I'm not all that crazy about the black interior.  Black carpet always looks like it needs to be vacuumed.  SHEESH!

It's too cold to do anything outside except dash to and from the car.

If I ever have to wake Robby up he's evil. 

Like...even if he falls asleep in bed wearing his glasses and I have to wake him so he may take them off like just now.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Okay...I love "Everybody Loves Raymond" and "Frasier" reruns.

Oh...and if I'm flipping channels and see "The Golden Girls?"

I'm parking and watching I'm done.

E thinks Valentine's Day is a fabricated holiday made up to sell candy and says he will not be pressured by advertisers into falling for the conspiracy.

o_0

Unca Robby told him he's never gonna keep a girl with that attitude.

ROFL!

I hung out with The Robinator all day today.

We had doc appointments first thing, had breakfast out and went to do a day of service.

That dude rocks.

I got those genetic results back.

We shan't be discussing those just yet.

My "ancestors" are an instrastin bunch.

Robby laughed his azz off and made all types of evil jokes.

Let's just say this...IT EXPLAINS SIP.

I can't wait for Spring!

I've been neglecting my hair so it's all about the ponytail.

You ever find something so awesome and you buy it in every color  in your size?

Well...I couldn't find them in a small so I bought them in a medium.

WHATEVER!

I DO WHAT I WANT!  LOL!

What's going on random with YOU?

 

 

 

Regarding "Red Tails"

I wish I still had the luxury of being uber critical of a film with a main Black cast. Now? Hell...I understand the struggle of the filmmaker and as long as YALL don't understand it...there won't ever be a plethora of films for you to peruse.

Yall talk that nonsense about "Red Tails" because there aren't any Black women in it. Shit...be happy there are Black people in it PERIOD. I can watch movies from sun up to bedtime and not see a single.solitary Black person all day. NOT.A.ONE!

Truth be told...folks get on my GOT.DAMNED nerves being all "Black Power" when they ain't put in on this. If you want different, (ie BETTER in your brilliant head) options...don't sit your azz in a box and throw salt on someone TRYING to have a showing in the game. Learn to discern the BIGGER.PICTURE and recognize that if Black movies with a theatrical release don't make money...there won't EVER be Black movies, as a norm, in movie theaters. It's all about the money people. Don't be dumb. Use your money to carve out some space for those of us TRYING to offer you options cuz if you don't then I have to sit in meetings with folks listening to bullshit like..."Black dramas don't sell. You got any comedies? Any singing and dancing? Can you get a rapper to star in it?"

Hell...I wish I did have the luxury to be able to talk ish about being better and doing better and still have a shot in this game.

Next time YOU make a damn movie with Black people in it from beginning to end...come talk to me cuz then and ONLY then will you understand. I applaud the Jedi Master for trying cuz many wouldn't even look twice at a Black woman OR a Black man for a lead role let alone a full lead cast. I've seen every movie he's made and I'm not about to stop now.

In short...

Wait...nothing...cuz if I say anything else...Imma start cussing and I'm still on the Goodness and Light Tour of 2012.

Thank you in advance. You are welcome to and I encourage you to share this message FAR AND WIDE cuz it seems some folks need to read it.

Monica Mingo, Filmmaker

On Sitting Quiet and Growing

One of the most important things I can honestly say which has helped me the most in my desire to do better and be better is sitting quiet with my own thoughts regarding situations that arise.  I find that I Iearn the most from myself because only I know why my initial reaction to something was why it was.

See...most folks have demons they battle from childhood to adulthood that only they know the full story behind.  It's like...something so simple to someone else could have triggered a memory I hadn't shared with them by using all the senses.  So yeah..my reaction might seem, to someone else, irrational but to me...I'm stunned that I was able to ONLY snap right quick and leave whereas in the past my reaction would have been to show my en-tire azz based on deep seeded feelings I had yet to deal with.

Most of the people who are close to me know when something is weighing heavy on me but they also know that, for the most part, I hold my own counsel and will talk about it when I'm ready to.  See...I gotta weigh it all out myself first and consider all options as it relates to my involvement.  I don't have to pick up the phone and call X and then Y and then Z to get their individual opinions on things that are major decisions for me.  Sure...I might ask folks for their opinions on not so major things but the real deal stuff?  I trust myself and The Robinator enough to know how to weigh the pros and cons and don't usually share with anyone, other than him, until I've made a decision considering all factors in my life I SHOULD consider.

I know me.  I know why I am the way I am.  Other people won't have all the information needed so...why even go there if I'm not willing to get into everything with them?

Why do I need all of those different voices in my head anyway if I trust myself and my memories and...I've made a commmitment to myself to do and be better?

That was a free flow of rambling between takes.

Did it make sense?

 

 

:)

 

As of tonight...we're 98% complete. I can't WAIT for you guys to see it! Are you a fan of the Facebook fanpage? If you're not I'm seriously going to start feeling some kinda way.  "The Coalition"

Look at what Oprah sent me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cuz me and 999,999 other people are SUPER SPECIAL!  GO US!  LOL!

Testing

This is a test from the mobile app.

Please ignore.

Trying to see if yet another of Typepad's products are sucky.

My Big Boy!

Thanks to Travel Diva for capturing this pic!  He is just perfect isn't he?

Hmmmmm...

I was just described as an extremely nice person whose tolerance level is just set at the lowest possible setting.

What say you?  Is this accurate?

Hmmmmmmmmmm...

SIP:  I guess that low setting was a dig at me huh?  Whatever.

I swear I don't know!

My doctor was absolutely amazed at my injury yesterday.  Dude says people who were rear ended by a car usually have an injury like mine.

Robby is threatening to get me a baby sitter.  LOL!  Dude actually told me to stick to filmmaking and leave laundry alone.  LOL!

Isn't that hilarious???????????

 

Update on my head...my mood...my...UGH.

It flattened out. 

You can barely see it unless you're all up in my face which we know you wouldn't be.

There is a bit of a bruise.

It hurts like hell to touch it.

My neck is killing me and last night I had an upset tummy and couldn't keep anything inside.

I wasn't throwing up mind you.

(I'm trying to be PC here okay?)

I didn't sleep well because of my stupid neck even though I took 4 no-name brand Advil (800 mg) before bed and stole one of the REALLY good pillows off the guest bed.

I think Santa Monnie is going to get me a new pillow for Christmas.

I don't think Robby is going to be satisfied until I go to the doctor to make sure my dumb butt didn't cause any major damage to my neck.  *sigh*

I haven't had breakfast yet and I wasn't even thinking about doing any form of exercise this morning.

Not even pushups.

I think my mood plus my neck plus my mood is just really not a good combination.

I've cancelled my RSVP to an event tonight and didn't feel the slightest bit of remorse about it.

AT.ALL.

I want to put up my lights outside today but I have a really big feeling that won't happen.

I don't even want a piece of fruit and I didn't finish my coffee.

I got outta bed much later than usual this morning but I feel like I opened my eyes every thirty minutes to find Robby staring at me.

onefromphilly sent me a text this morning talking about bruised blood draining.

TravelDiva painted horror pictures last night about the things Advil and other meds do to your body.

It's mid-60s today.

iCan't.

iSimplyCan't.

I've been informed that I have a doctor's appointment at 2:45pm.  Apparently they wanted me to go to the emergency room first.

I'd rather die than go to the emergency room.

Crap...now I gotta do something to my hair.

 

 

 

Shit...

I just whacked the shit outta my head on a doorjam trying to dodge clothes hanging in the doorway drying.

I WAS NOT ON A LADDER!

Do I need to go have it checked out?  It keeps growing.  *sigh*

Robby is going to have a flipping fit.

SIP:  Yup...he's going to think you were REALLY on the ladder.

*sigh*

THAT'S IT!  I'M BOYCOTTING LAUNDRY!  FOREVER!

Seriously though...yall think I need to go have it checked out?  I hit my head pretty hard. 

THE Anniversary

21 years ago today.

Wow.

One day I'm going to be able to forget about this day as it approaches and look up in surprise to find that the day has come and gone and it didn't hurt.

That day isn't today.

It's been particularly hard for some reason this year.  Seems that as soon as December 1st rounded the corner...it was all I could think about.

21 years marked.

Do YOU notice the anniversary dates of your personal tragedies?

Mondays are my OFF days!

When I say break...boy do I mean BREAK!

I try not to eat meat on Mondays.

But I did.

I got new prenatal vitamins because we're harvesting more eggies.

The only fruit I had today was the fresh blueberries in my oatmeal.

NOT.GOOD.

But I had baby bok choy which is a major FAV of mine.

I decided yesterday that I'm not going home before the end of the year.

My sister is happy and that makes me happy.

I got new Christmas cards today.

I got some lobster ravioli from Trader Joe's which shall be for din-din manana!

I'm writing a book in my spare time.  

SPARE TIME?  WHAT'S THAT?

I bought Jaru and Lucy new comforters to fold up and put UNDER their beds so their beds are fluffy.

SIP:  SpoilSoHardUniversity

I'm probably the vainest person yall know.

You have NO idea.

I read an awful lot for one person.

Is it possible to be an OVERreader?

What is the most relaxing day in YOUR week?

 

 

Cabot & Sons Socks at Runaway Store!

Remember this?  Wool Socks

So...I was in TJ Maxx (or was it Marshalls?) last week looking for new wool boot socks.  I was mad because all of the Cabot socks I saw were made of acrylic.  *sigh* 

I figured they were making cheaper changes and I was SO.WAY.BUMMED!

But it wasn't a deal breaker because my Cabot & Sons socks from last year are still holding up AWESOMELY!

Yesterday I got a gift in the mail!

AND THEY ARE THE MERINO WOOL ONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  TALL ENOUGH TO WEAR WITH MY TALL BOOTS AND WARM ENOUGH TO WEAR WITH MY RAIN BOOTS!

GO ME!

Turns out that Bill over at www.RunAwaysStore.org has a whole kit and kaboodle of them!  AND HE HAS PINK!  (Gonna get me some of those pink ones STAT!)

The only thing about this gift is that even though there are 4 pair...only 2 are for me.  The other 2 are for The Robinator.  WHO SAYS HE SHOULD GET TO GET NEW CABOT & SONS MERINO WOOL SOCKS?  Humph.  Nobody cares if his feet are toasty good too.

LOL!

Special shout out to Bill for being so lovely and sending these to us cuz I was seriously bummed that the ones I saw last week were were acrylic and not wool.  Whose feet are going to be all toasty in acrylic???? THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Nobodys.

SIP:  Did you see they have Extreme Hats too?

Me:  YEAH BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Mood Swing

I've been around a bunch of stuff lately which has really wrecked my mood.  Things that are happening to good people that I simply don't understand.  I've always felt that if you're a good person and do good things then good things will happen to and for you but increasingly...I find that just might be a myth a romantic such as myself would like to believe.

I need to shake off this feeling because it has started to make me feeling guilty about my blessings which is really not what I should ever do.

But I guess that's another thing which makes us human huh?  We compare our lives during the good and bad things and ask ourselves...why me...why not me?

I'm going to shake this.

 

SIP:  And there goes the phone with a text message from someone who really makes it hard to shake this GOT.DAMN.FUNK!  I'M ABOUT TO THROW THIS DAMN PHONE IN THE WOODS!

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 

 

Switch Plate

The other day I was headed out shopping with a friend.  We were leaving my development turning to drive across the new bridge.  It was extremely cold and I remember putting the heated seats on in my truck as soon as I got in as did my friend.

We were laughing and I noticed a young man walking holding a very small baby.

The baby was dressed in a fleece onesie only and the young man was holding one of those baby sized blankets over him.

I slowed to an idle stop and rolled down the window.

Me:  Where are you going out here with that baby?

Him:  Roy Rogers.

Me:  Get in.

He and the baby got in and the blanket fell off the baby's head and he looked at us and didn't make a sound.  The baby looked exactly like his father.  EXACTLY.

And that poor baby was cold.

The father was going to meet the mother at Roy Rogers because it was the easiest middle point for them to walk to get to each other.  The mother had a new job so things were looking up for her and he watched the baby while she was at work.

Me:  So what are you doing with yourself?

Him:  Trying to get it together ma'am.

Had that young man not had the baby with him...this is what he would have looked like...

A sports team hoodie with some dusty looking jeans which were sagging and showing his underwear.  His jacket was inadequate but that false bravado swagger would have been in full effect and he would have worn it proudly knowing it was all he had in a mind game of comparison.  He had the smell of someone who smokes in the clothes he's wearing and puts those clotes on the next day because they were still clean.

He would have looked like a potential threat to some people.

Not to me.

That baby neutralized that baby cuz that's all he was...a baby.  A young, fresh-faced kid who'd made a few poor decisions and was trying to get it together.

We drove him to the Roy Rogers and the mother of the baby was sitting in a booth by the window.  I knew it was her as soon as I saw her because the baby looked just like her too.  She looked tired and much older than I calculated she probably was.  Her face changed when she saw the father of her child and her child.  She smiled this huge, beautiful smile.

And her son started kicking his legs in that way perfect babies do when they are happy.

I woke up this morning with them on my mind.

They are making it.

Trying to get it together.

As you run around this morning trying to get it together for your holiday, take the time to live WITHIN the moment of being with you and yours and having enough.  Note the small things we take for granted like a kitchen faucet with hot and cold water.  A light switch which floods the room with light when you flip it.  Your car at your home with gas in it.

People have much less these days.

Be thankful for what you have.

Be thankful for WHO you have.

And remember...we'll ALL get better as we all take notice of what is going on around us and help when we can.

Happy Thanksgiving from 13700. 

Love,

Monnie, Robby, Jaru and Lucy

Randoms of a Creole Princess!

I have a plant in my home that has been alive since my birthday.

I'm astonished.

Lucy can't hear very well anymore. 

Like...if you're in the same room with her and say her name she doesn't hear you.

She still hears the darn doorbell though.

I need to have the doorbell replaced because it's cracked.

Guess I'll be learning how to install a doorbell.

Ebay

I was talking to a friend this weekend and she was sharing with me the challenges she'd had with her ex-boyfriend who is African.

I laughed because I had a story of my own to share regarding.

When I was in college there was this super fione assistant professor.  I'm talking dude was CUT!  Gorgeous teeth and smile, beautiful body and he was smart as hell.

LOVE!

He asked me out.

I went.

We went on two dates after that.

Then...it was Thanksgiving and Bayou Classic weekend so I headed out with my friends to enjoy the festivities.

I didn't know I'd forgotten to tell him I'd be outta town.

Oh well...no biggie.

This was, of course, BEFORE cellphones and text messages.

I had a blast and then returned home.

I hit my answering machine button because I was surprised at how many messages the indicator said I had.

As I'm fumbling with opening my bag and putting stuff away the first message made me smile.

It was from HIM in that charming accent he had.

Message 1:  Hello Mo-ni-ca!  I just wanted to tell you again how much of a good time I had at dinner and hope to see you again soon.

Awwwwwwww...so sweet!

Message 2:  Hello Mo-ni-ca!  I just wanted to hear your voice and had some time on my hands so I thought I'd call you.   I would love to see that movie you wanted to go see with you.

*grinning from ear-to-ear*

Message 3:  Hello Mo-ni-ca!  I have not heard from you and I believe it has me a bit alarmed.  I hope all is well.  Please return the call at your earliest convenience so I may know you are safe.

Cool.

Message 4:  Mo-ni-ca...you have not returned my calls as of yet.  Did I do something wrong?

Ummmmm...

Message 5:  Mo-ni-ca...this is highly inconsiderate and inappropriate.  I thought you were different.  This is not how you treat a man who is showing proper interest in you.

Arrrruuuuuu??????

Message 6:  This is why Black American women can not keep a man!  They are disrespectful to real men!  Where are you?  With some drug dealer or rap artist getting your groove on?  

B'WHAT????????

Message 7:  All of you Black American women are prostitutes and video whores!  This is why Black Americans get no respect!  Black American women are the downfall of your race!

OH.HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO!  HE MUSTA BUMPED HIS EN-TIRE DAMN HEAD!

And the messages went on and on and on and on...

Needless to say...I didn't go out with Mr. AfriKKKan again after that nonsense and my brother had to speak with him and convince him it was in his best interest to no longer bother me.

I'd kinda forgotten about this.  But not really cuz I never, ever, ever went out with another African guy again.

EVER!

I am not "Telma" and he was NOT Ibe.

o_0

Have YOU ever dated African men?  What was your experience like?

 

 

UPDATED: Doubletree Santa Monica

UPDATED  ***I GOT MY 40,000 POINTS AS I KNEW I WOULD.  IT WAS A REASONABLE EXPECTATION.***

Night before last the fire alarm went off at 4:58am.

The kid jumped up, put on my wedding jewelry and pajama bottoms,grabbed my phone, purse and computer and rolled out.

False alarm.

I was SHOOK!

Like...that kinda jolt out of your sleep just messes you all up.

Last night at 4:58am the fire alarm went off.

The kid jumped up, put on my wedding jewelry and pajama bottoms, grabbed my phone and computer and called downstairs.

"Sorry Ms. Mingo, something is wrong with the alarm."

And the poor dear on the other end of the phone met SIP. A snarling, pissed to the point of leakage from overstrained veins SIP.

I expect 40,000 points in my HHonors account once I finish with them.

What would be YOUR expectations?

Happy Day! Watch the Throne Concert Review

The Robinator had a FABULOUS time at his birthday concert!  LOL!

Yall already know how much I love Kanye West but I bet yall didn't know that Robby is a MAJOR fan as well!  We had such a great time last night!

If this concert comes to your city...GO!  It was seriously one of the best concerts I have EVER, EVER, EVER ATTENDED!  They put on a SHOW!!!!!!!

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!

Whew! 

Do you have plans to attend this one?

Okay...need more coffee!

STAT!

On a scale of 1 - 10...how is YOUR day going?????

Every Meeting is an Interview

Recently we flew an actor in to meet with me.

We put him up in an EXTREMELY lovely hotel in the city and I drove in the next morning to meet with him.

I sat at the table positioned to watch him enter the hotel restaurant.

He was late.

When he walked through the door he was wearing sweatpants, flip flops and a t-shirt.

He hadn't shaved.

His hair was a tussled mess.

His hands were in his pockets and he stopped at the hostess stand real arrogantly.

And then he sauntered over behind the hostess as she lead him to me.

The look on his face was that he knew he was the SHIT.

He didn't have his script with him.

He didn't have any notes.

No questions down on paper which would indicate he'd been researching his character.

I've learned a lot recently as it relates to hiring actors before meeting and spending time with them.

That won't EVER, EVER, EVER happen again.

 

Happy Birthday to My Robinator!

Today is my love, my life, my Robinator's birthday.

He got up this morning, walked and fed the dogs, got in some exercise, made coffee, put together the recycling, emptied the dishwasher, watched the news, read the newspaper, did some work and found my hiding place where I put some of the GOOD candy before I gave it out last night.

He left our home this morning dressed in an impeccable suit looking sharp and went to the office to do what he does.

When he returns later, he's going to get dressed in some jeans and probably a nice sweater and we're going to the Kanye West, Jay Z concert.

We love Yeezy.

My husband is truly the most well-rounded man in the world.  He can switch from jamming MC Hammer, EPMD to Journey and Duran Duran seamlessly.

He can leave his executive position at the office and throw his hands in the air at a concert.

He has never allowed anything to make him feel it wasn't for him based on appearances and or stereotypes.  He's always been his own person and he's always done whatever he wanted to do.

He is TRULY true to himself.

In that instance he is a man to be envious of because really...how many people do YOU know who have never, ever, ever cared what anyone thought of them?

That's truly a trait to be envious of.

Last night he told me some things he wants to do and I listened and we discussed.  Flushed out some of the details.  He spoke authoritatively and dreamy.  As a man who believes in his plan would.

Robby:  I want to BUILD something.

Me:  Go for it baby.  I got you.

I'm usually pretty darn good with using my words but when it comes to expressing how I feel about my husband...sometimes words escape me because he's so vast in all he does that words seem paltry strung together to try.

That said...I'll just say this...

Every morning, when I get my first kiss of the day from him...I still feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Because I am.

Happy birthday my love.  Here's to many, many more milestones, laughter, crazy dances, and pulling your underwear up past your naval and doing your old man impersonation with your socks on.

You are the best of my world.

Thank you.

Your wife,

Monnie

No Glasses for Me!

YAY!

I called Dr. Levy's office and they told me to come on in.

So I rolled out.

Dr. Levy:  Now what's the problem?

I showed him my Road ID bracelet.

Me:  If I put it here (pulling it 6 - 8 inches from my face), I can't read it.  But if I put it here (pulling it 10 - 12 inches from my face) I can read it.

Dr. Levy:  Then why are you putting it that close to your face?  Is that how you read?

Me:  *BLINK*    Um...no...but that's how I noticed that it was blurry.

Dr. Levy:  Don't put stuff that close to your face to read.

And then he did an exam.

Dr. Levy:  Well yes...things have definitely changed since your annual but not enough that I want to do anything.  Just hold stuff away from your face.  When you run out of arm...then we do something about it.

Me:  Okay.

Dr. Levy:  Is it bothering you any other times?

Me:  I've had to dim the sceen way down on my computer because my eyes get tired. 

Dr. Levy:  Okay.  That's normal for people who spend a lot of time on the computer.

Me:  Okay.  So...um...why is it so weird and all of a sudden?

Dr. Levy:  Because you've never experienced it before.  You've never had any problems so the difference would startle you.  What you're experiencing now is how a lot of people always see.  It just means you're getting older.  By the time of your next appointment in August 2012...it might be time for reading glasses but they're too strong now.  Just keep stuff away from your face.

So...I'm just old.

And cranky.

Nothing new.

From Dr. Punkin yesterday:

Sister dearest,

I know you are in the midst if your focus group but I wanted to tell you how very proud of you I am for finally going after your dream and not letting anything get in your way now that you've arrived.  It is my prayer that it will be well received and you will get some very positive feedback.  Know that we are behind you all the way and can't wait to see your name as award winning director Monica Mingo.  You totally rock!

 

SIP:  She wants something doesn't she?

Farsighted Eye

Every year we do all of our physicals around our birthdays so nothing creeps up on us in such a way we can't get the help we need. EARLY DETECTION IS KEY!

As a cancer survivor...I TAKE THIS VERY, VERY SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My annual eye exam was in September and I was told that I still have 20/20 vision but that I was having some problems with farsightedness.

Say what now?

I rejected that nonsensicality!

It's getting worse.

I'm 42.

I guess that's how the cookie crumbles huh?

I'm calling them again tomorrow cuz seriously...I read a lot and am in the process of editing a movie.  I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo getting whatever in the hell I need so my azz can see properly.  This is some BULLSHIT!  Like...I just held my hand in front of my face and it's not sharp AT.ALL!

If I hold it away, however?  Clear as a button.

HELL.NO.

I'M TOO CUTE TO BE BLIND!

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

Do you deal with farsightedness?  How old were you when you noted the problem?

SERIOUSLY??????????????????????

This is the forecast for my area:

DO YOU SEE SATURDAY???????????????????

I'm not ready.

*sigh*

"For me...and how I like it...you know...for me!"

This article totally rocks:  How to be THE LUCKIEST GUY ON THE PLANET in 4 Easy Steps

Like...I LURVED IT!

Probably because I feel it validates a lot of what I think as it relates to how I choose to live my life and the things I need to focus on in order to continue to get better.

Let's Get It Started! - "The Coalition"

Well guys...we had the first focus group screening of "The Coalition" last night at the Landmark Baltimore East Harbor theater. 

I was nervous all day and couldn't eat even though I was hungry.  I just felt like if I put something in my tummy...it would be ALL.OVER!

So...I got there and people were already there waiting.  We set up quickly and worked it out.  Folks were surprised to find that we were actually at the door checking people in.  ROFL!  I'm like...this is independent filmmaking at it's FINEST people!

I thought that was cute though.

The audience was filled with just the loveliest people and, even though we had to restart the film because I was unhappy with the aspect ratio I looked up and saw...they were really good sports about it.

Remember that nightmare I had about my being at our premier and everyone was dressed to the nines except me and I ended up in the projection room handling stuff? 

Yes...that happened except, thank goodness...this was a focus group viewing of a work in progress and folks knew there were going to probably be some glitches.

We moved on.

So...you know how you get REALLY annoyed when people talk to the screen or when they laugh too long and then you can't hear what happened next in the movie?  Well...that doesn't bother you so much when you're a filmmaker in the audience.  LOL!  That means the audience is really engaged in the story and is enjoying the film.  They "got" all the parts we meant to be funny.  The jokes, the looks, etc. 

We got some AMAZING feedback which was already in line with what we were thinking and, having the opportunity to see it on the big screen was soooooooooooooo helpful to us!  Like...at one point I saw a light on an actress's face that we've NEVER, EVER, EVER seen!  AND I SEE EVERY.SINGLE.THING!!!!!  LOL!    I was taking notes thinking...wow...where'd that light come from?

All-in-all I was so happy with the response that I will admit to having a moment.  Yall have no idea what it means to have people watch it and enjoy it.  Like...just...wow.

Thank you all for your lovely wishes and, for those of you who showed up, and CONTINUE to show up to support us...thank you so very much.  You have no idea how much it means to have framily surrounding you when you're dealing with something SO.SCARY.  When I looked into the audience and my eyes would light on my people...it would calm a GAMILLION butterflies. IT MEANS THE WORLD WHEN YOU GUYS SHOW UP!  THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!

I simply can't thank you guys enough for being on this journey with us and for being so amazingly lovely.

We've made a movie folks.  Can you BELIEVE that?  Sure...there is still a lot of work to do in order to get it to look EXACTLY as we want it and to tell the story EXACTLY as we want it told and to incorporate the feedback we got last night into it...but yeah...we've ACTUALLY made a movie. 

This is going to be the start of something HUGE!