A woman I know stopped talking to me after I was really blunt with her about something. Like...there wasn't a fallout or anything...she just stopped talking to me. She didn't call, didn't write, nothing. Just radio silence.
I understand radio silence.
Since I was so busy I wasn't even keeping up well with family and FRAMILY...I didn't really even notice she'd stopped talking to me.
She called me recently and I was driving so I answered the phone. I was all like...heeeeeeey! I've been meaning to check in with you! How's it going?
And she was like...um...I wasn't talking to you.
And I was like...DA HELL? Why weren't you talking to me?
And she was all like...cuz the last time we spoke...you hurt my feelings.
Have you ever had crazy chemistry with someone when you were single and they were single and been able to resist the temptation to date them because of logistics? (Wasn't the right time...they lived in another state far, far away...they were dangerous to your lifestyle?)
I've been hit on my fair share as a woman and pretty much felt like I'd heard it all. It doesn't bother me unless it was disrespectful and I usually keep it moving without a second thought.
I was hit on recently in a way that made me think about it...A LOT.
I was walking back to my truck through the parking lot at the Amish Market and a black 745 BMW rolled up slowly next to me. Dude rolled down his window and said, "I thought me and you were going shopping today?"
I was so startled that my head jerked up and I looked him dead in the eye and, for once, I found myself speechless. I mean...there wasn't a damn thing I could think of saying. I mean...sure...I can think of a crap load of stuff NOW that I could have said to him but I was seriously startled that that was how he rolled up on me.
I kept it moving.
But that shit made me go...WOW.
I mean...it's obviously worked for him before right? And that made me go...hmmmmmmmm...
I've discussed with several of my friends who all agree that yeah...old boy prolly gets much play leading with that one in this economy. Hey...even The Robinator was like...
SIP: Hey...he's got a good point. Might as well use it till you lose it.
N.E.WAY!
So yeah...I thought about that A LOT!
Since people are so quick to call a woman a gold digger if the man has more money than the woman and showers her with gifts from the lifestyle he's accustomed to...what should we call the men who proffer up fruits from this lifestyle right from the get go? I mean...this was bold as HELL! There has got to be a word for this right?
Has something like this happened RIGHT OFF THE BAT to any of yall? How'd you handle? Have you ever ended up dating someone who showered you with expensive gifts RIGHT OFF THE BAT and seriously grown to love them?
There has been a whole lot of new activity in the comments of this post and it makes me sad cuz seriously...this was posted originally FOREVER ago! LIKE...SERIOUSLY!
I'M STUNNED! STUNNED! STUNNED!
What in the WORLD??????????????????????? Could one dude ALLEGEDLY do all of this?
What do yall REALLY think of this? Seriously? In 2012 are there still so many women who think fairy tales come true??????
I forget who said it, but last week someone said something along the lines of dating changing into women doing things the man used to do.
That really made me think ever since I read that. ESPECIALLY since I was having a conversation with someone who was pissed because her daughter bought her boyfriend a pair of sneakers. They are 17 and 18. The daughter has a little mall job. The boyfriend doesn't work.
What do YOU think about that statement? How would YOU react to your daughter using her hard earned money to buy for a boy who isn't working and it's not his birthday or a holiday?
Would you think it would be a challenge to date a man who has 3 siblings, same mother, all different fathers and NONE of the fathers were involved at all?
What kind of challenges do you think you'd encounter?
Would you date a man whose mother lives with him? Like...it's his house, his mother doesn't work, she's disabled and can't work. Not like handicapped disabled...but more like she hurt her back and can't do the only job she was qualified for.
Has to report to jail in three months to start a three year sentence for a white collar crime he says he took the fall for in order that another member of his family didn't have to go because they'd been in the same kinda trouble before and would have had to go to jail for like 25 years.
The guy from yesterday...would you CONTINUE to date him if he told you he started out making a couple of prons as an actor and realized he make prons himself?
...if you found out your guy had 3 other women who thought they were working on a relationship with him too? I mean...sure you're stop dealing with his azz and you'd be mad as hell...but would you be mad at yourself? If so...why? How in the world could you have known if you truly didn't know?
I have a friend who is extremely good at refinishing furniture. Her home is a showplace filled with unique and solid pieces. Large, stunning cabinets and armoirs which she found in a state of total chaos and she loads them up on her old truck she uses for this purpose, takes it home, removes all of the hardware, strips the paint, sands it down, repair damages to the wood, and stain, stain, and stain some more until she gets that stunning hue she's looking for.
And then...she puts it in the perfect place in her home and it blows you away just how stunning the piece is knowing it's original state.
She takes pride in how well she does this and she should...it's an AMAZING talent to have.
1. If he'll cheat on her with you...he'll cheat on you with NEW BOOTY.
2. You should know a man's full name before you sleep with him. If a dude won't tell you his middle name...he's not thinking anywhere next to near long term with you.
3. If every time you ask a question, a man tries to shut you up with a kiss. He doesn't give a damn what your concerns are.
4. If you can't ever get him on the phone when you call him...he has a woman and you're not her.
5. If he doesn't want to meet your friends...he's not into you.
She's putting up with some ish from a man which amazes you but you don't say anything because you just don't believe in butting into people's business.
If she likes it you love it.
You go over to her home for dinner and her manfriend gets up and just leaves without saying anything after the meal is over.
You don't say anything but you must have some kinda "look" on your face.
She gets more than a bit wine buzzed as yall are cleaning the kitchen and watching the game and she tells you that she knows you think she's dumb for putting up with the shit she is putting up with but that you have to understand she doesn't have the same options as you have with men because of her size and that if she wants a man...she has to do things differently in order to keep a man like him than you would have to do. She says you've never had a problem finding a man to love you because of how you look so she understands if you don't understand.
I was talking to a friend this weekend and she was sharing with me the challenges she'd had with her ex-boyfriend who is African.
I laughed because I had a story of my own to share regarding.
When I was in college there was this super fione assistant professor. I'm talking dude was CUT! Gorgeous teeth and smile, beautiful body and he was smart as hell.
LOVE!
He asked me out.
I went.
We went on two dates after that.
Then...it was Thanksgiving and Bayou Classic weekend so I headed out with my friends to enjoy the festivities.
I didn't know I'd forgotten to tell him I'd be outta town.
Oh well...no biggie.
This was, of course, BEFORE cellphones and text messages.
I had a blast and then returned home.
I hit my answering machine button because I was surprised at how many messages the indicator said I had.
As I'm fumbling with opening my bag and putting stuff away the first message made me smile.
It was from HIM in that charming accent he had.
Message 1: Hello Mo-ni-ca! I just wanted to tell you again how much of a good time I had at dinner and hope to see you again soon.
Awwwwwwww...so sweet!
Message 2: Hello Mo-ni-ca! I just wanted to hear your voice and had some time on my hands so I thought I'd call you. I would love to see that movie you wanted to go see with you.
*grinning from ear-to-ear*
Message 3: Hello Mo-ni-ca! I have not heard from you and I believe it has me a bit alarmed. I hope all is well. Please return the call at your earliest convenience so I may know you are safe.
Cool.
Message 4: Mo-ni-ca...you have not returned my calls as of yet. Did I do something wrong?
Ummmmm...
Message 5: Mo-ni-ca...this is highly inconsiderate and inappropriate. I thought you were different. This is not how you treat a man who is showing proper interest in you.
Arrrruuuuuu??????
Message 6: This is why Black American women can not keep a man! They are disrespectful to real men! Where are you? With some drug dealer or rap artist getting your groove on?
B'WHAT????????
Message 7: All of you Black American women are prostitutes and video whores! This is why Black Americans get no respect! Black American women are the downfall of your race!
OH.HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO! HE MUSTA BUMPED HIS EN-TIRE DAMN HEAD!
And the messages went on and on and on and on...
Needless to say...I didn't go out with Mr. AfriKKKan again after that nonsense and my brother had to speak with him and convince him it was in his best interest to no longer bother me.
I'd kinda forgotten about this. But not really cuz I never, ever, ever went out with another African guy again.
EVER!
I am not "Telma" and he was NOT Ibe.
o_0
Have YOU ever dated African men? What was your experience like?
IF I HEAR ABOUT ONE MORE GROWN AZZ, SMART AZZ WOMAN LETTING A MAN GROOM HER TO BE A BOOTY CALL I SWEAR FO' GOODNESS I SHALL START SWINGING SWORDS 'ROUND HERE!
You go out with a dude and have a nice time.
He doesn't call you for a week or so.
He calls you after 10:00 next.
He tells you he wants to see you.
YOUR.VERY.NEXT.ANSWER SHOULD BE...
Sure...What do you have in mind? Dinner? A movie?
AND THAT'S IT DAMMIT!
Cuz seriously...even if he comes over and yall just talk...he's grooming your azz to be a booty call.
It's a game.
They do it when they can.
If you let them...they will do it.
The chances of this turning into an awesome relationship are like 1 in a gamillion.
DON'T.BE.DUMB!
And don't be calling someone asking them what they think it means either. You ain't dumb. You already know.
"In the world of dating it rarely matters who you sleep with late Friday night...it's who you spend your Saturdays with that counts." ~ This dude I know...
and a new Bose system.
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