Have you ever dated someone you knew used to date someone you know?
Have you ever dated someone you knew used to date someone you know?
The man you know was the love of your life broke your heart by cheating on you.
Yall didn't have any problems before you found out about the infidelity.
You left him and never looked back, moving to another state.
Years later you run into him when you're visiting your parents and yall end up talking.
He says the biggest mistake he's ever made was hurting you and making you hate hm.
He tells you that he's never gotten over you and probably wno't ever.
He'd love it if you would give him another chance.
All of the feelings you felt for him before come rushing back and your remember how much you loved him. How much he loved you. How GOOD it was until he cheated on you.
You return home still thinking about it and the man you've been dating for 18 months is there. Steady as always.
You go to the restaurant for dinner where you had your first date.
He's acting weird and...before he starts...you KNOW he's about to propose.
What do you do?
Do you try and stop him before he does?
Do you let him and say yes?
Do you let him and tell him you have to think about it?
I found this article very, very interesting. What do YOU think?
Go read that article. I'll wait...
Okay...have you read it? Good. What are you thoughts? Do you give your daughters the type of advice Ms. Skiffer's parents gave her? Do you give your sons the type of advice Mr. Coote's parents gave him?
What do you think of the lesson she had to learn? Do you think her parents helped her stay in her own way? Or do you think she's a product of much more our society has turned girls into? Women who believe the only way they can succeed is to not let a man derail their education and career plans?
In your experience...do you ever truly know when you're in your own way?
Doesn't have any children.
Comes from a good family.
Tells you that his father had another woman in the same town and his mother, who was married to his father, didn't concern herself with it and that he's decided that he wants that type of marriage as well because he doesn't think men can be monogamous.
Your boss' client.
Your boss is a divorce attorney.
Dude is in the final stages of his divorce.
You're a responsible adult living on your own.
You're dating a guy and he gets mad and shakes you, grabs you wrong, or hits you.
How do you handle?
You're divorced with grown kids.
He's divorced with grown kids.
You're both pretty financially independent.
You're being set up by mutual friends.
You arrive and meet him.
He's had plastic surgery and looks "pulled."
I was with a group of friends recently and we were discussing teenagers dating. We were a mixed group of women. All ages and skin colors.
I listened as some of the women spoke about how their first boyfriend was when they were 13 years old. One woman said her boyfriend would come over and study or watch television with her and have dinner with her family. She would go to his house sometimes too, but not as much.
They were never alone.
A woman made a blog about the sandwiches she makes for her boyfriend.
Seems that one day, while eating and appreciating a sandwich she made for him, he told her she was 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring.
She took it and ran with it and turned it into a pretty cool blog about sandwiches. 300sandwiches.com
Well...turns out she was a reporter for Page Six so, instead of it quietly flying under the radar forever...it made the Page Six news. ‘I’m 124 sandwiches away from an engagement ring’
And then the normal chain reaction went down from there. HuffPo, Mashable, Jezebel, ABC, NBC, etc.
I side eyed it because when I visited her blog she wasn't making a sandwich per day so at the rate she was going...it was going to take her over a year. I was thinking...his azz woulda been having sammiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
He'd have been so sick of sammiches he would have proposed early just so he could get some soup or a salad. LOL!
Robby and I visited her sandwich blog and dude was straight DROOLING over the sandwiches.
Robby: She takes beautiful pictures of sandwiches.
And we laughed and laughed and laughed.
Her sandwiches look good as hell. OH YEAH!
Then, of course, the angry people started in on her sandwiches and the reason for her sandwiches.
Someone I know said something interesting on Facebook...they said had she been making 300 sandwiches for a Black man...they wouldn't have had problem numero uno and they would have been using her to teach Black women how to ack right. They were like...a pretty Black woman in a pretty floral dress in the kitchen...making SAMMICHES? Oh yeah...she was church lady proper. BLACK LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!
Making sammiches about race.
I want a custom house and The Robinator told me what we'd need for me to get that. I'm still blinking. LOL!
What did YOU think about the sammiches? Honestly? Thumbs up or thumbs down? Cute or KNOCKING WOMEN BACK BY 50 YEARS?
One of my FABULOUS girlfriends is single and dating online. The other day she received a message from a guy who looked promising as it relates to his profile. He asked could they skip all the formalities and go straight to email so she did. He then told her he was only looking for sans ropas hookups and wanted to know if she was down.
I told her to go radio silence and block dude.
She's since had two more propositions of this same kind and I'm worried that she's going to get discouraged and give up cuz honestly...that's a lot of bullshit to deal with.
Yesterday in a post we had an interesting discourse in the comments:
A friend just posted a picture with her new boyfriend on FB.
You comment on the picture saying something generic like they make a nice couple.
A friend of yours follows your comment and sees the picture of the guy.
She picks up the phone and calls you.
YEARS ago, she was being stalked by this crazy dude she ended up having to get a restraining order on.
You never knew old dude.
Turns out...old dude is the new boyfriend of your other friend.
The friend who called says to warn the other friend that he started off really nice and jumped snap crazy within a couple of months. Says when she filed for her restraining order...turns out other women had complained about him in the past as well.
How do you handle?
You go out on a date with a man who has been a perfect gentleman.
The date is over and he returns you to your home.
He walks to the door with you and you pull out your keys.
He reaches for your keys when you get to the door and says, "Let me get that for you."
*********Before you click on the article link...please know there is one of those annoying autoplay ads which popup.
Here is the cut and pasted article by Evan Moore:
Only dates overweight women.
At what point does something become a fetish that you have to keep an eye on?
That is all.
Would YOU date him?
I know plenty of women who are single and honestly...there is no rhyme or reason about it. They are smart, successful, good people, kind hearted, lovely, loving.
They know how to cook and keep house. They are fashionable. They are God-fearing.
They belong to clubs, sororities and civic organizations.
They run, swim, bike, compete in marathons, triathlons, half marathons, 10k's, 5k's, etc.
They are well read, know their politics, are excellent mothers, aunts and Godmothers.
They mentor and volunteer.
They can go to the White House or to a barbecue and represent excellently.
They are good daughters, sisters, friends.
There is no reason they aren't married but other women are. No reason at all.
I've decided it's basically the luck of the draw. If a woman is lucky, she will meet a man when he's ready for marriage. If she's smart...she'll live a good, fulfilled happy life and she won't base her not being in the right place at the right time on nothing more than dumb luck. She'll realize she hasn't done a thing wrong. It's simply the luck of the draw.
You can run across plenty of good men but if he's not ready...well...it's just like you never met him at all.
And it's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. It's honestly, more increasingly, simply...the luck of the draw.
This weekend we were discussing dating. One scenario in particular was about a 40something woman dating a 26 year old young man. My stance was hey...if he made her happy, they both grown. Fug the police. LOL!
oneblackman had a different take on it.
oneblackman: Monnie...in the jungle, what's worse than a cougar?
oneblackman: You know...like the baddest cat in the jungle.
Me: *THINKING* Hmmm...
oneblackman: I got it! A saber-tooth tiger! That's what she is. A saber-tooth tiger! Cuz she's mighty long in the tooth!
Friday we discussed a dating scenario and many people said they wouldn't have left after the date was, in my opinion, disrespectful. I disagreed because well...I have bad nerves and have a low-low tolerance for ridiculous. My stance on dating, when I dated was that I would enjoy myself more at peace on my sofa with my remote rather than dealing with silly ish.
And I meant that.
Someone I love has been dating online. She has run into some good guys who didn't fit her idea of a mate and she's run into some bad guys who didn't fit her idea of a mate.
One guy in particular was all good on paper and had excellent communication skills. He was smart and funny. She agreed to meet him for coffee.
They were down South and it was a hot day so she wore a maxi dress. Loose and flowing. Pretty colors. She paired her sundress with strappy sandals and had a cardigan in her bag in case she got cold inside.
She walked in the designated meeting place (a coffee house) and he was already there.
She went over and they met face-to-face and she gave him a quick hug. One you'd give a stranger.
She then walked up to the counter to order her drink. When she got in line, she saw that he was watching her with a soft smile on his face.
She walked back to their table and sat down. She smiled, he smiled. They discussed how they'd had no trouble getting to the coffee house and that he never really spent that much time in the area. Small talk. Chit chat.
He then asked her if he looked like his picture and she said yes. They laughed at how that can go dangerously wrong sometimes and she asked the same. He agreed she looked like her picture and then he said, "You look like you REALLY enjoy sans ropas."
The smile dropped from her face and, being who she is, she snapped and said, "That's about the rudest, most disrespectful thing you could say to a woman you just met."
Then she rolled the hell out MAD.AS.FUG!
She called me and told me about it and I couldn't close my mouth. She was PISSED! Dude was a professional and had all the makings of being someone worth dating but hell...that didn't materialize AT.ALL.
He sent her a text a couple of days later asking if she realized she'd overreacted yet. She didn't respond, of course, and blocked his number.
Do YOU think she overreacted? Do you think there are SOME guys who think that if a woman is dating online then she's desperate and that's why they go there? Do you think this same dude would be different with a woman he met in a traditional way?
What has been YOUR online dating experience? Do you have a favorable view of it?
A year older than you.
Taller than you.
In great shape.
Has gorgeous skin and teeth.
One child from a previous relationship (not his ex-wife).
Has very good taste from what you can tell.
Is a successful professional.
Tells you, on your first date, that he's a "sexaholic" with a cheesy grin on his face.
An older woman meets a younger man.
They start dating.
He has not so great credit so he doesn't have a car but lives in a city where that isn't a problem.
She decides he should have a car and buys one IN HER NAME and gives him the keys.
It's a modest car. Nothing fancy...but it's nice.
A multi-millionaire dates a woman and they get engaged.
He buys her an engagement ring worth $785k.
They are engaged for less than a year.
He says SHE broke off the engagement.
She says THEY mutually broke off the engagement.
He wants his ring back.
What's YOUR opinion of who should get the ring when an engagement is broken?
Would you feel betrayed? Used? Angry?
Or would you simply be glad you didn't find out after you were married and had kids?
JASON COLLINS' EX-FIANCEE
I Had NO IDEA He Was Gay
Read more: http://www.tmz.com/2013/04/30/jason-collins-carolyn-moos-fiancee-gay/#ixzz2Rxl0QBbk
Visit the TMZ Store: http://tmzstore.com
Around your age.
Fun and funny.
Normal people, good job.
Has to have Nyquil every.single.night before he goes to bed because he says he can't sleep without it.
As a caboose on the train of thought on the 'separated boyfriend' post:
The conversations can last more than an hour cuz really...we try and pack it all in.
A couple of years ago she dropped the bomb that this woman, who we always knew of as EXTREMELY smart, was dating a married man. It wasn't normal married mind you...it was a full separation. Dude had moved out, got a new place, was openly dating, etc.
All of two weeks.
She's pretty happy with the way things are going and thinks that, SHOULD THEY GET MARRIED, they'd be happy together.
She told me of a situation which came up and he told her that, SHOULD THEY GET MARRIED, that situation wouldn't go down like that.
She also shared that, SHOULD THEY GET MARRIED, some other things about him would have to change.
Back when I was dating, I always felt weird when a new guy came out the gate talking about marriage all willy nilly. To me...marriage talk should only be held between two people who know each other MUCH better. I'd feel like a dude was using the marriage talk as a ploy. Some kinda bait. A piece of the game they were playing.
In my experience...you may have only discussed marriage lightly as in, "Do you see yourself married one day?" Or..."How long have your parents been married?"
Not as in..."If we get married...blah, blah, blah."
How do YOU feel about marriage talk early on like that? Are you FOR or AGAINST it? Does it weird you out a bit? Have you ever felt like a guy was using marriage as "bait?"
I've had my current cellphone number for probably 11 years I think. Before that...I'd had the same cellphone number for as long as I'd been with my previous carrier down South.
It's very odd to find people changing their cell numbers these days unless they make a major move. It's become commonplace to keep that same number for years and years and years.
A girlfriend and I were out and about recently and she got a text message out the blue from her ex-boyfriend. She looked down and laughed and texted him back. Turns out every few months or so...he texts her out the blue and she responds according to the mood she's in.
She then told me that she has a couple of exes who do this. She doesn't mind communicating with them via text sometimes. They were good guys...not just the guy for her.
Sitting around talking with girlfriends about dating can be kinda fun and funny.
And then there are times when it can turn sad and depressing when the reality of dating seems to be so depressing for many single women.
But it always leads you to wonder why certain women don't have someone and why certain women do.
And then...there are the conversations which come from sitting around talking with your guy friends and you realize...there is a SERIOUS disconnect in thought. Like...there is nothing similar in the thought processes of the two sexes AT.ALL.
Even if they are the same age and from similar economic backgrounds...it doesn't mesh.
I listened once as men were discussing the baddest women they have ever known in real life. Bad to them, of course, meant beautiful with an awesome body.
A 44 year old woman told me that she doesn't want to still be single by the time she's 45 years old.
I didn't say much because there kinda wasn't really much I could say right?
But I thought a lot about it.
She's been single for 44 years so there is a good chance that she'll still be single in a year right? It concerns me that she's actually setting this up as a goal because I think this being a goal might open the door for their to be some moves based on reaching the goal ONLY and not because she's met someone that is good to and for her.
And that concerns me because hell...yall know I love love and want everyone to have it.
What are YOUR thoughts?While looking for a picture for this post...I ran across this: Single At 45: What Lies Ahead?
She was getting her hair done up and was getting a mani and a pedi next.
Her phone rang and she took the call from her guy.
She laughed, they chatted, she laughed some more.
She got off the phone and apologized for the interruption.
She asked how long I'd been married and I told her.
She then shared that she'd been dating this guy for about 2 months now and that all was going smoothly so she's excited about the possibilities.
Yall know the kid loves love so I was like...that's awesome.sauce.
Her: Yeah...he gives me money every week to get my hair and nails done and takes me shopping. It's pretty great.
Me: *BLINK* Oh...cool...wow...that's very generous of him.
And then...I kinda faded her to radio silence as I picked up my phone and started reading Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, emails...ANYTHING to keep me looking busy.
I've never had this type of a relationship and always wonder how it even comes about. Does the man offer this up to the woman? Does the woman ask? Is it an assumption that he will handle these costs? Was her hair so jacked up and he saw the beauty beyond and was like...lemme handle this for you?
HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?
Have you ever DATED a man who paid for your personal maintenance? I'm not talking about spa gift certificates mind you. I'm talking WEEKLY.BEAUTY.MAINTENANCE.
What are YOUR thoughts on this? This isn't the first I've heard of this...I'm just always confused as to how it happens when I do hear of it. And old girl was in her mid-to late 30s...she wasn't some young chippy.
You're meeting a guy for coffee for a first meet and greet on a Saturday afternoon.
You met him online.
He calls an hour before you are to meet to tell you he's running late.
He went to the gym and ended up running over and has to go home to shower and change.
He can meet you an hour after.
When he shows up, he's wearing sweats, a tank top, a flannel button down shirt that is open, sneakers and a baseball cap.
You good? Does his choice of outfit say anything to you?