"A married woman says that she packs condoms in her husband's suitcase when he travels for work. Her reasoning is that if he's going to cheat, she hopes that he at least uses a condom and doesn't bring anything home. What say you? Good idea? Or free pass for foolishness?"
I got a call the other day from a friend I don't get to speak to often. She's busy, I'm busy, we live clear cross the country from the other. I answered her call with a smile on my face and was promptly yelled at.
Her: If I find out via Facebook that you're dead I would kill you!
Me: Da hell?????
And she went on to tell me how the she found out a relative had died via Facebook and it pissed her off.
My friend isn't very technically savvy and she has kids. She's a mother, a wife, has a job where she deals with people and their problems all day and sometimes nights. She lives a pretty insular life. Protected you know? Like...she gets her news...from watching the evening news and by the time she hears about stuff...it's "old news" by today's standards of data delivery.
So I tell her that she probably wouldn't hear of my death via Facebook because she knows herself that she never gets on Facebook and that one of our friends who DOES use Facebook would probably call her and tell her knowing she wouldn't know.
Her: So, in essence, I'll find out via Facebook.
She felt some kinda way.
Some of us are far more connected than others. We all know this. Some people who aren't on the internet or social media feel they are better than those who are thinking it makes them "deeper" and I wonder about that cuz I think I'm pretty deep and yet...I'm always connected. Via my phone, my iPad, my laptop. I have a hotspot which goes with me everywhere so yeah...I'm always connected and my response time is pretty immediate. I have 'SHARE' tools on my browser so if I'm reading something I can click and share it on Facebook or Pinterest, etc. I sit and I write and when my brain needs a quick break, I pop over to read something and then keep clicking until I'm satiated with procrastinating all the while sharing what I've read with the browser tool thingy.
And then...sometimes I just want to talk to people without TALKING to people and, on Facebook, it seems someone is always around.
It works exactly the way my brain works.
As I listened to my friend extol the negatives of Facebook I pulled up Facebook. I saw that a friend's daughter had gotten into the school of her dreams, another friend's Grandmother had "gone on to glory," another friend's son took his first step, and another friend's dog was sprawled out sleeping on their bed knowing good and well he wasn't supposed to be on that bed.
I smiled, liked, and offered sympathy and congrats accordingly all the while listening to the tirade against people not being "connected" to each other anymore and I thought about it but said nothing cuz seriously...I could care less if she uses it or not. I don't own it and I'm not trying to put her in a brand new Facebook blue car. Seriously. Social media is about the person and how THEY choose to use it.
I remember a conversation with her once where she called herself and some of our other mutual friends my REAL friends. "Not those weirdo's you met online." And she annoyed the fug outta me and got tagged cuz I know I've made some REAL friends from the people I've met online. FRAMILY even so yeah...don't go there.
When I got off the phone with her I realized that I don't really know much about her other than what I used to know when I lived in the same area she lived in and we saw each other regularly. I know she has kids but, frankly, I forget their ages, grades and sometimes names. I haven't seen or heard her speak of her husband, other than in passing, for about 13 years or more. Nor her parents. I don't know if she's been promoted, is with the same company, what she drives, the kind of food she likes, any of her interests or hobbies outside of what I USED TO KNOW.
But she's my friend and whenever I do talk to her or I do see her we fall right back into that easy, familiar ebb and flow of personality.
And it just made me wonder if I even needed to consider or compare anything she says at all because truthfully...she's not going to change her stance on social media and hell...I DO WHAT I WANT...so there is truly no need to dwell on it any further right?
I guess what I'm trying to say is that...I feel like people who want to condemn Facebook's usage to it saying something about a disconnection of people makes me wonder exactly where they feel that disconnection is coming from and maybe...just maybe...they should consider that the type of friend they are to someone isn't dependent on HOW they continue to be connected unless it's always negative.
Shit...I prolly just said a bunch of nothing.
Holla if you hear me. I'm being verbose for no reason at all I feel.
You have dear, dear married couple friends in real life who are also your friends on Facebook.
You all have known each other for YEARS. They are FRAMILY.
You recently became Facebook friends with someone you met whom you think is cool as a white box fan but, since you don't really know them that well...you put them on a list where they can't see any of your pictures or anything since you might do some business together one day since there are serious synergies between what she does and what you do.
They are very private and professional on their FB profile but, in looking through their albums, you see a VERY cozy picture of her and the husband of your dear friends taken about 3 months ago.
The picture is captioned, "A rare photo of my love. He hates pictures. LOL!"
I always o_0 people with those fake SUPPOSED to be deep middle names on Facebook and said something about it last night on Facebook.
Then...I feel asleep shortly after "Revenge" as I was having fun with some of my friends making up middle names for ourselves. I just read the thread on Facebook and I am HOWLING! My friends are FOOLISH! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Erica said her name was going to be: Don't hate because I'm "Erica I'mSoFlyYouCan'tStandItAndI'mHighlyBlessed Bunker"
Queeny's new middle name is going to be: IjustSavedaBunchofMoneybyswitchingToGeico
I said: Monica MyDogIsLazierThanYourN Mingo
And it kept going and going and going. ROFL!
Whatchu got this morning? If you wanted to play too...what would you change YOUR middle name to on Facebook? ROFL!
THE LIST: You can see my profile and my most recent photo albums ONLY.
The title of the list? DKTPLT (Don't know them people like that.)
The person deletes you as a friend.
You then receive a message from them saying they deleted you because they realized they were on a limited profile list and really wishes yall could be friends (cuz they know you're a good person and so are they) wherein they are not on THE LIST.
If one of your male friends had this as his status...would you comment? If so...what would you say?
To all my big girl friends, what's up with the head shot pics only??? The sooner you embrace your beautiful body and walk in total confidence, the sooner you'll walk in your destiny. Some men LOVE a big woman, but EVERY man loves confidence!!!
I have a list of "Hell No I don't know you people" on my Facebook account. They can't see anything about me save for my profile pic and my facebook name.
But...unless I "hide" them...I can see what they say (unless they have me on their Hell No list too. ROFL!).
I keep them because it amuses me. Take this message for instance. None of my REAL friends are this entertaining:
"Yes. He's leaving you and moving in with me. Don't hate. You lost your man cuz you didn't know what to do to keep him. Now he my man and we're getting married as soon as you sign those papers biotch."
See friends? Yall ain't NEARLY entertaining with your status updates about your lil FABULOUS weekend and how much you love your children and husband or how lovely Sunday brunch was.
Ya needzta step ya game up playas. Get your entertainment value waaaaaaaaaaaay up there a notch or two.
Do you know any men who are married and on Facebook yet don't have a picture of their spouse in their photo albums nor do they have the fact that they are married in their profile? Like...it says nothing about relationship status? When you see this...what do YOU think?
I think the tribe should start a revolution about married men and Facebook because this has to stop. I have a married man who is a realtor in my Facebook inbox right now who, under the initial guise of networking, is saying shit like he wants to get to know me better and hopes to see me real SOON. I wish I could say this is a one time thing but it happens all the time in private messages and I'm about to make it a policy to not friend any married man unless he's family.
Have any of you had married Facebook Pimpage in your inbox? How did you handle?
One of your FB friends responds with this comment:
I personally don't like the fact that his wife and children are
vacationing in Spain when people in the country he manages are out of
jobs and homes. I don't like the fact that he is vacationing at all.
Probably won't vote for him again.