Rantings of a Creole Princess

Tell the truth and shame the devil!

Erica B. brought up something that made me go hmmmmmmmmm...

What say you?  Would you rather your husband NOT tell you if he had a one night stand?

Scenario...

Your spouse has an amazing opportunity out of the country.

It was initially thought they'd go for three months, come home for three months for the period of a year.

The opportunity has been revamped and it has become MAJOR.

Now they are saying your spouse would have to commit to LIVING there for two years traveling HERE for holidays and vacation days.

It's a country where women don't have the freedoms women here are used to.

The country is NOT considered dangerous in that there are no State department warnings regarding.

YOUR career is HERE.

The opportunity is such that the money will set your family up for AMAZING financial rewards.

When your spouse asks you what you think they should do...what do YOU say?

CreoleInDC's Wedding Planning Tips

1.  Don't buy that expensive azz wedding planner wrapped in cellophane at the bookstore.  A $1 binder from WalMart will do you just fine.  TRUST.ME. 

2.  Don't buy a crapload of them $10 wedding magazines.  Why?  You can find all of that information online.  Wedding planning is a BUSINESS.  You think they are going to keep the secrets in a magazine only?  Negative.  The more people see their stuff...the better.  You can surf online for free all day and all night.

3.  Mr. Google:  Google Docs Wedding Planning

4.  Don't lose sense of who you and your fiance are during the wedding planning process.  Seriously.  A dude who is into sports will NOT suddenly become happy going all over creation with you picking out napkins instead of watching the game.  He will HATE.IT.  He will lie for a long time because he loves you...but eventually...he will snap and tell you the truth.

5.  You are GOING to have at least ONE.MAJOR.KNOCK.DOWN.DRAG.OUT.BLOW.UP.FIGHT. with your fiance regarding the wedding.

6.  You are GOING to have at least ONE.MAJOR.KNOCK.DOWN.DRAG.OUT.BLOW.UP.FIGHT. with a family member regarding the wedding.

7.  You are GOING to have at least ONE.MAJOR.KNOCK.DOWN.DRAG.OUT.BLOW.UP.FIGHT. with a friend regarding the wedding.

8.  You are GOING to have at least ONE.MAJOR.KNOCK.DOWN.DRAG.OUT.BLOW.UP.FIGHT. with a vendor regarding the wedding.

9.  You are going to have at least one girlfriend who is going to appear to throw some shade your way.  Please keep it into perspective.  That single, bitter stuff can hit ANYONE at ANYTIME.  It's deep and it's real.  It doesn't mean the person isn't happy for you...they are just feeling some kinda way about them.  Please...it's not a biggie and it doesn't say anything about your relationship with them.  I PROMISE.  IT'S DEEP AND IT'S REAL and continually perpetuated in the media.

10.  Set a budget you can afford and don't budge a single CENT from it.  All that froo-froo ish is cute but the end result is going to be the same if you have it or not.  YOU'LL STILL BE MARRIED AT THE END OF THE WEDDING.

11.  Keep in mind that just as you've dreamed of this day forever...so have your parents, so have your fiance's parents.  You're smart so don't be a witch with a b and figure out ways to compromise with them on things you've told them they may have an input in.

12.  If your parents are paying for the entire wedding and have definite ways they see your wedding...Imma need you to remember....YOU'LL STILL BE MARRIED AT THE END OF THE WEDDING REGARDLESS IF 300 OR 100 OR 50 PEOPLE ATTENDED.

13.  Before you leave for your honeymoon arrange to have someone come to your home and clean it from top to bottom while you're gone.  Coming back as husband and wife with nothing to do in your home except relax on your first day back is a TREASURE you will appreciate.

14.  Cut people some slack.  You're the bride.  You can afford to be generous in spirit.  Nobody likes a frown-t up bride.  That ish ain't cute.

15.  Things to spend good money on? 

    a.  Your dress.

    b.  Your hair.

    c.  Your makeup.

    d.  Photographer

    e.  Food

    f.  Music

Why?  In the end...it's simply the most FABULOUS party of your life.  The rest of that ish REALLY doesn't matter.  Look good, feed people good, have everyone dance their azzes off and have the loveliest of pictures to memorialize the event for years to come.

And the absolute most important of all of my tips is the same advice I give for EVERY.SINGLE.THING.  DO WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT TO DO IF YOU'RE PAYING FOR IT ALL.  If you want Rugrat napkin holders and Hello Kitty slippers under your dress...SO BE IT!  Your wedding.  Your way.  All others...eat cake.

No Fun Hun

My husband golfs every chance he gets.  He's pretty serious about his game too.  He gets up before goodness in the morning because he usually has a tee time around 7ish in the morning.  He kisses me goodbye (I seldom remember) after he's had his breakfast, fed and walked the doggies and made coffee.

And then...he's off!

A golf game takes him about 5 hours so I pretty much know what time he's going to be back home.  I do what I wanna do and then WE do what we wanna do for the rest of the day.

No harm...no foul.

Seems there are a lot of women who would have a problem with this.  Some men have to sneak and play golf during the week when their wives think they are at the office and then learn to lie well when questioned as to why they didn't answer the phone...yada...yada.  Once it gets easy to lie about stuff that shouldn't matter...well...

Some women don't like their men to have outside interests.  Some women seriously think that any time a man has outside of work should be spent with them.  Some women feel like their man really should enjoy being drug around town doing a bunch of nothing with you when all they wanted to do was watch the game.  And some women would have known this had they not been all wrapped up in what THEY wanted to do and ignored old boy wearing his team's jersey and fluffing pillows and whatnot on the sofa where they intended on watching the game.

Don't make your man start lying to you about silly ish.  Don't make him have to pretend to not enjoy anything more than being with you.  A happy man will LOVE being with the woman he loves more than anything and the time spent together will be that much more meaningful.

It's been told if you have a happy wife...you'll have a happy life.

Anybody knows what happens if your husband is happy too?

Harlem Riot of 1935

A little known fact is that the Harlem Race Riot of 1964 was NOT the first time a race riot happened in Harlem. The very first one was in 1935 when 16 year old Lino Rivera, a Puerto Rican, was caught shoplifting a 10 cent knife. When he was caught the young man felt this life was in danger so he bit the hand of the person who he felt was threatening him. The manager called the police but the police didn't take Lino to jail.

An ambulance was called to treat the hand of the guy that got beat.

Unfortunately, a woman who saw Lino get caught, started yelling to people that he was being beaten. A crowd gathered in front of the store and they thought that the ambulance that showed up was for Lino. EQUALLY unfortunate was the fact that a hearse was parked outside of the store so folks began to think that Lino had been beaten to death since they still had not seen him.

The store closed early and the crowd left. The woman who spread the story was arrested for disorderly conduct.

Later on that day flyers were dispersed to people that stated a child was brutally beaten for taking a piece of candy. Somebody threw a rock and folks got to showing out big time. Looting and burning White owned businesses. Folks were MAD!

The police went to Lino's house and took a picture of him, unharmed, with a policeman. They then started passing the picture around on the streets to prove that the story was untrue.

Even though there were other race riots before this one, such as the Atlanta race riot of 1906, this riot was considered the first MODERN race riot. It is important to note there was no clash of the races during this riot.

It lasted until the next day and there are no reports that anyone died. After the riot the Mayor commissioned a report to find out what happened. "The Negro in Harlem: A Report on Social and Economic Conditions Responsible for the Outbreak of March 19, 1935" is what came of it. The study was to try and find out why the youth of Harlem seemed to be delinquents (their words...not mine) They started new programs in the public schools (which were dilapidated and lacking in funding for the essentials) along with after school programs to try and give the kids something to do.

Another interesting fact is that Ralph Ellison based the riot in his book "Invisible Man" on this riot so if you want a more gritty feel...Mr. Ellison would certainly be the one to bring it to you.

This riot was only the beginning. With continued bad economics in the Black community...it got worse. WAAAAAAAAAAAAY worse before it got better.