1. Don't buy that expensive azz wedding planner wrapped in cellophane at the bookstore. A $1 binder from WalMart will do you just fine. TRUST.ME.
2. Don't buy a crapload of them $10 wedding magazines. Why? You can find all of that information online. Wedding planning is a BUSINESS. You think they are going to keep the secrets in a magazine only? Negative. The more people see their stuff...the better. You can surf online for free all day and all night.
3. Mr. Google: Google Docs Wedding Planning
4. Don't lose sense of who you and your fiance are during the wedding planning process. Seriously. A dude who is into sports will NOT suddenly become happy going all over creation with you picking out napkins instead of watching the game. He will HATE.IT. He will lie for a long time because he loves you...but eventually...he will snap and tell you the truth.
5. You are GOING to have at least ONE.MAJOR.KNOCK.DOWN.DRAG.OUT.BLOW.UP.FIGHT. with your fiance regarding the wedding.
6. You are GOING to have at least
ONE.MAJOR.KNOCK.DOWN.DRAG.OUT.BLOW.UP.FIGHT. with a family member regarding
the wedding.
7. You are GOING to have at least
ONE.MAJOR.KNOCK.DOWN.DRAG.OUT.BLOW.UP.FIGHT. with a friend regarding
the wedding.
8. You are GOING to have at least
ONE.MAJOR.KNOCK.DOWN.DRAG.OUT.BLOW.UP.FIGHT. with a vendor regarding
the wedding.
9. You are going to have at least one girlfriend who is going to appear to throw some shade your way. Please keep it into perspective. That single, bitter stuff can hit ANYONE at ANYTIME. It's deep and it's real. It doesn't mean the person isn't happy for you...they are just feeling some kinda way about them. Please...it's not a biggie and it doesn't say anything about your relationship with them. I PROMISE. IT'S DEEP AND IT'S REAL and continually perpetuated in the media.
10. Set a budget you can afford and don't budge a single CENT from it. All that froo-froo ish is cute but the end result is going to be the same if you have it or not. YOU'LL STILL BE MARRIED AT THE END OF THE WEDDING.
11. Keep in mind that just as you've dreamed of this day forever...so have your parents, so have your fiance's parents. You're smart so don't be a witch with a b and figure out ways to compromise with them on things you've told them they may have an input in.
12. If your parents are paying for the entire wedding and have definite ways they see your wedding...Imma need you to remember....YOU'LL STILL BE MARRIED AT THE END OF THE WEDDING REGARDLESS IF 300 OR 100 OR 50 PEOPLE ATTENDED.
13. Before you leave for your honeymoon arrange to have someone come to your home and clean it from top to bottom while you're gone. Coming back as husband and wife with nothing to do in your home except relax on your first day back is a TREASURE you will appreciate.
14. Cut people some slack. You're the bride. You can afford to be generous in spirit. Nobody likes a frown-t up bride. That ish ain't cute.
15. Things to spend good money on?
a. Your dress.
b. Your hair.
c. Your makeup.
d. Photographer
e. Food
f. Music
Why? In the end...it's simply the most FABULOUS party of your life. The rest of that ish REALLY doesn't matter. Look good, feed people good, have everyone dance their azzes off and have the loveliest of pictures to memorialize the event for years to come.
And the absolute most important of all of my tips is the same advice I give for EVERY.SINGLE.THING. DO WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT TO DO IF YOU'RE PAYING FOR IT ALL. If you want Rugrat napkin holders and Hello Kitty slippers under your dress...SO BE IT! Your wedding. Your way. All others...eat cake.
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