Rantings of a Creole Princess

Question...

Could you marry a broke man?  I'm not talking about the post graduate student but a man without any assets other than what he has in his pocket and who is struggling to make ends meet on his own?

Sam Fine is coming to DC at Bennett Career Institute AKA BCI!

Okay...BREATHE PEOPLE...BREATHE!

BREATHE PEOPLE BREATHE!  MR. SAM FINE IS COMING TO DC  TO TEACH A CLASS ON MAKEUP AT BCI AND WE WILL HAVE PERSONAL ACCESS TO HIM TO SHOW US HOW TO BEAT OUR FACES LIKE THE SIDEWALK ON CONNECTICUT IN DC PROPER!

True or False?

"Sometimes all a woman needs is to casually date a pretty boy in order to get her mojo back."

From Tanyetta:

Free OPKs and Pregnancy Tests

Tell the truth and shame the devil!

Do you do anything to or have any rules regarding your HAIR during sans ropas?

A-Cyst Me

So...I had a sonogram and bloodwork this morning.  Dr. Sacks came in on Yom Kippur even.  (That dude ROCKS!)

He found a cyst on my left ovary and is concerned that it might make me me have to scrap this cycle and start over.

He's checking my hormone levels and will let me know later today what's what.

Crap.

Have you ever had cysts in or on your ovaries?  What did your doc suggest for it/them?

From My Inbox:

Good Morning Monica,

I am feeling some kinda odd way this morning.  I am 41 and just started taking birth control pills a month ago.  Can you ask the tribe about their experiences with this.  My emotions are crazy and I am a pretty easy going person.  Crying and anger seems to now be a part of me.  WTH.  I spoke with my doctor and she said that yes the older you are you may experience more intense symptoms.  WTH I am comtemplating just going off the damn things.  I took them in my 20's and did not have all of this drama. Please help me before I end up on the news.

Thank you.

Coffee Beanie Baby

Did you drink coffee when you were pregnant?

Stay at home wife/mother...

Could YOU do it if your finances supported it?  Why?  Why not?

Midol Week

How do you keep track?  Calendar on puter?  On phone?  What?  How many days are in your cycle?  28?  31?  Has it changed up recently?

Cellulite

Have you ever worried about cellulite?  Have you ever tried any of the cellulite products?  Did anything work?

Low-rise Hipster

What's your most comfortable cut of underwear?

Breaking Out!

Do you have breakouts on your face during Midol Week?

From My Inbox

Hi Monnie-

My doctor thinks I may have uterine fibroids. As such, I am scheduled to have a ultrasound. Looking for some advice from the all-mighty tribe. Has anyone had surgery or used any other forms of treatment? I also read that apple cider vinegar and blackstrap molasses have been known to shrink the tumors. Has anyone had success with this method?

Thanks 

Instead Softcups - WHO KNEW??????

I swear I learn something new every.single.day.  Seriously.  Not just because my brain is wired such that I'm constantly asking ridiculous questions that I have to have answered either...but a lot of times because folks have asked me something bat.shit.crazy.

That said...check out what I learned about tonight.  Just sitting here minding my own business and VOILA!  A search lead me to the following (Men...don't look.  You've been warned.): 

Dear Women:

Do you like your boobs?  Would you get any work done to them?

Hmmmmmmm...

I'm watching this documentary that is making me go...hmmmmmm about a lot of stuff.  I'll talk about the documentary later AND ABOUT THIS CHANNEL IT'S ON! 

N E WAY...

One Black woman was talking and she said something and started crying.  I want to ask yall what she was crying about  okay?

Dear Black women:

IS IT HARD BEING A BLACK WOMAN?  If so, why? 

Dear Black Women:

Would you feel odd if a White woman called you a strong Black woman?

What is YOUR favorite...

Diamond cut? 

Birth Control Pills

Do you take birth control pills?

What brand?

How long have you been taking them?

Do you take the for their intended purpose or for some other medical reason?

Are you emotional on them?

Women...what would you do?

You're about to pull up to your office and  you have some boxes that need to be taken out of your car and put upstairs.

Do you...

A.  Park in the parking garage by the elevator so you may use the hold button to load the elevator and take them upstairs.

B.  Park in the parking garage by the elevator and go upstairs and enlist male co-workers to help you.

C.  Pull up in front the building and call the male co-workers you'd told the day before that you'd need help with boxes.

D.  Park in the parking garage and take a box up at a time on and off throughout the day until your car is empty.

Independent Woman

When does this become a NEGATIVE thing to be?

Mamogram

When is the last time YOU had one?

Fibroids

Have you ever had them?  What did your doctor tell you caused them?  What did you do about them?

You must SUBMIT!

Dear wymenfolk:

Do you think of yourself as submissive to your husband or your boyfriend? What about your boss, do you submit to him or her too?

Love,

Monnie

Ladies First!

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2949623?Category=&Search=True&SearchType=keywordsearch&keyword=spanx+in+All+Categories&origin=searchresults

What kinda Spanx do YOU own?

Dear Women:

Do you wear your bra at night when you go to bed?

Vagisil Screening Kit

http://www.vagisilkit.com/kit2/index.shtml

What say you? Do you think this is a good idea?

Question...

Have you ever asked a guy out first?

Question...

Do you wear matching lingerie sets daily? Just on special occasions? NEVER??????

Keep it clean.

Plastic Surgery: "Would you get a Mom Job?"

http://www.momlogic.com/2008/04/whats_a_total_body_lift.php

Dear Divas:

How do you feel about someone going into your purse? What if it's your S/O?

Dear Divas:

What are your PMS symptoms?

Dear Divas:

Hve you ever seen your S/O cry?  What about your father?  How did it make you feel? 

Re-Post: Tapping on my window....

I can't get someone off my brain tonight and it's pulling me down.  Way, way down.

I know someone who was really digging this guy she's been dating and just found out that he got married earlier this month.  She's devastated and I am too...for her.

I started thinking about the differences between she and I, our personalities, our past, our present. 

I have been cheated on once...no...make that twice and both times the relationship was over immediately thereafter.  I can't say that I wasn't devastated because I was.  I can't say it didn't take me a while to get over the pain and I can't say that I wasn't confused about if I wanted to keep them in my life or not because I thought they were the one.  I was in a REAL relationship with both of these guys and I was hurt REAL bad.  Real bad.  *sigh*

I'm listening to this young lady speak and I'm asking questions.  Personal questions.  Why?  Because I'm confused.   I want to know what's wrong that she keeps meeting and getting wrapped up in losers.  Yes, I said it.  Losers.  Because that's what this guy is...a loser. A lying loser at that.  Nothing worse.  A skank.

What makes it possible for skanks to penetrate a seemingly intelligent, FABULOUS woman's defense shield?  How in the WORLD is it possible they are able to even fix it so they can sit at the same table with FABULOUS beautiful women?  Let alone...more.  Humph.

This is what I don't get.  And this is what has me so down.  She deserves so much more and she's been getting her fair share of shit.

I don't watch the T.y.ra B.an.ks Show...

...but I do watch GMA. This morning they are talking about her Body Image Boot Camp and wow...that was a pretty powerful segment and it made me go...hmmmmm.

So basically...all of these women put on a body stocking and then let the other women label what they thought when they looked at each other.

Some harsh things were said. People have no fuggin manners. I doubt if I would have been able to say some of those things to people outloud. Why? I might be snarky...but I'm not mean.

I had a conversation with someone I love yesterday that blew me away. She shared with me something her mother said about her weight. She was VERY matter of fact in her use of words. I was STUNNED. I got pissed FOR HER. SIP was in my brain pissed the hell off at her mother for saying that and I couldn't say much but...WOW.

My friend is uber confident and I had to ask her how she maintained.

My parents did a lot of things wrong...but they did a lot of things right too. I knew from the time I spoke my first words that they believed in me and they thought I was better than ANYTHING and ANYONE. Truly they did. Up until I met my Robinator they were my biggest champions.

I shudder to think about who I would be without that foundation.

Back to my friend.

The words her mother spoke cut ME so I had to ask her how she was able to be as confident as she was when her mother was known to say those types of hurtful things to her and she said it was because of more than a few factors.

1. She knew her mother was projecting.
2. She had a community of other folks in her life who gave her the encouragement she needed that included, teachers, neighbors, other family members, etc.
3. She realized her mother was a bit offish a long time ago.

So basically...TASTES LIKE CHICKEN.

I shared with her that I wish more folks knew that and she was like...someone in those folks lives have said kind things to them. They just need to learn how to focus on the good and not the bad. It's the only way you can make up for not having the foundation at home and it can be done successfully.

Or something like that. I'm working from memory here...I'm old.

I thought about all the folks who send in questions regarding self-esteem and I wished all of those folks were privy to this conversation because she was spouting some SERIOUS wisdom. See...I've always felt inadequate trying to help folks with self-esteem issues because I've truly never had them because of my parents so it's not something I had to "overcome." My issues were different. LOL!

I hope you guys get why this convo was so important to me and why a light clicked for me in talking to my friend. Initially she made me want to cry...in the end I was so proud of her I could have burst.

Back to T.y.r.a. I doubt if I watch the episode of the show because I don't even know when the show comes on BUT...I thought it was a VERY good concept. The young lady that was on GMA with T.y.r.a was only 23 years old and she was very overweight and yes...it wasn't a good look on her and yes...she did look unhealthy...but truly...TRULY...I could never say that to her while she was looking at me. The eyes show pain.

Women are mean to each other and sometimes the woman being mean to you...is your own mother.

Focus on the good folks. Focus on the good.

What say you?

Question...

What do you find unattractive in a man?

Birth Control

Diva asked me last night did I ever take birth control pills prior to trying to get preggo. Answer...no. After dealing with cancer at age 23...I wanted no parts of daily drugs.

A commercial just went off for Seasonique, a drug that gives you fewer cycles a month. I don't trust that. But again...I've had my fair shair of doctors and meds. TRUST. LOL!

Tell me...do you use one of those drugs that gives you fewer cycles a month? Did you have any concerns? DO you have any concerns? Anything happened while on drugs like that we should know about? Are you thinking about trying them?

Request from Miss Gina

Miss Gina would like to know what undergarmets you guys wear.  I'm pretty boring in that aspect (no...really) so I figured  you guys would have some pretty good suggestions for her.

She was previously of the Vicky's Secret variety and has learned they are not for her.

What is your favorite brand of undergarmets?  Where do you buy?  Why do you like?  How long do they last?  How do you wash?

HOLLA ATCHA GIRL!

My Feet are my Friends!

http://magnoliadiva.blogspot.com/2007/04/open-toe-shoe-pledge.html

Straight Talk: For women only.

Migraines

How many of you are getting migraines to accompany your cycle these days?  Me.  I'm getting one before and one after.  I don't remember having migraines prior to turning 32 and now they are so bad I have to take Relpax...TWO DOSES...before it subsides.

Gas Cramps and Painful Bloating

Another thing I'm experiencing lately are VERY PAINFUL bloating and gas cramps after ovulation along with another delightful migraine.  I've been noticing that for a bit over two years now and maybe it's been happening longer but I've noticed the pattern because I've been charting for that long and can go back and see what I was experiencing.

Cycle Length

How long are your cycles? Has the length ever changed? What about flow? Have you ever changed from heavy to really light as you got older?

If you get the migraines, how old were you when they started?  What do you take for them?  Does anything help?  Same questions for the bloating and gas cramps.

Do you have any old wives remedies you learned from your elders that you use to help with PMS?  There is a lot of crap out there on the net and I would trust it from yall more.  No telling WHO wrote the stuff on the net you know?

Oh...and yall, please answer. I'd like to know what "normal" women are experiencing as opposed to someone diagnosed currently as "unexplained infertile" as I am. I don't talk much about baby makin anymore...but please know that I continue to live and breathe it 24/7. *sigh*

AND WEEZY I SWEAR TO GOODNESS IF YOU SAY SOMETHING SARCASTIC IN THE COMMENTS IMMA BEAT YO YELLA/RED AZZ WHEN I SEE  YOU THIS SUMMER.

Question for Mother's

Is it really that difficult to look decent after having a baby?  I really, REALLY wanna know.

One of my neighbors is a new mother and she used to be jazzy as HELL!  The last three or four times I've seen her though, she's had on one of her husband's old shirts and what looks like a pair of his sweats and some damn flip flops (IN THE WINTER!).

Now I KNOW it's hard and that her priorities have changed and I only have the women I know personally to go by...but NONE of them heffas ever had a baby and then started looking like Yoda in a damn mumu afterwards.  Yall shoulda seen my sister.  She was the jazziest pregnant woman in the WORLD!  And after?  The same!

It would seem to me to not be a big deal to already have some transition pieces readily available.  I mean you KNOW you're going to go to the hospital pregnant and leave NOT PREGNANT right?  How difficult is it to have some decent looking clothes you can fit into waiting for you?

I just don't get it.  Please school ya girl.  Tell me if this is, in actuality...THE NORM. Is it really that difficult?

Does your heart hurt?

I feel like warm crap. Ugh.

Yesterday it started. I had a fever and the glands on each side of my neck were swollen. Ugh.

I was tired as hell and in a foul azz mood. Ugh.

Usually I stay away from people and mostly I stay off the phone. But I couldn't. I had to talk to a friend of mine who I kept missing but who was dealing with some tightening in the chest area.

Had my dang nerves bad.

Did you know that heart disease is the NUMBER ONE KILLER OF WOMEN? That 1 in every 3 women die of heart disease? THAT MESS IS HUUUUUUUGE! http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/heartdisease/a/heartdisease.htm

Well...I knew that, so when my girlfriend complained of such I got evil with her DEMANDING she take her butt to the doctor. Punkette. She always trying to take care of everybody else and not taking care of herself. Imma get skrait Ninja on her.

It turns out that she isn't having any heart issues, thank God, but we still don't know what's wrong so in my opinion we can't rule anything out right now.

There are lots of reasons why you should eat better and exercise but this one seems to be something that women need to see as a very real danger and act accordingly. We can't be half stepping yall. We gotta get out get up and do something.

This mess is serious yall.

One thing I want to point out is that our county has a whole book of activities that residents can participate in and they usually cost a whole lot less than joining a gym would. For example, I saw 8 weeks of yoga classes for like $60 in ours. You should look into your county's Department of Recreation and see what's available for you.

What are YOU doing exercise and healthy eating wise? Do you understand the severity of this? Are you will to make the changes necessary to make sure you're not the 1 out of 3 that will die from heart disease unless changes are made?

Facials

I'm thinking about giving facials another try.  I've only had three in my life.  One was ridiculously expensive but was GREAT and the other two caused me to break out afterwards. 

I've been told that the breaking out afterwards is normal because the impurities keep coming out of your skin...but that was a no-no for me.  I'm not paying $90 to break out when Neutrogena and water serve me just fine.

That said, I'm thinking about getting something done regularly and am wondering what I should look for in a great esthetician.  Any tips?  I have sensitive skin that is considered normal when you take oiliness into consideration. 

Holla atcha girl.

Makin it up as we go...

In 2004, I did one of the most FABULOUS things I have ever done for my physical appearance.

My neighborhood Aveda spa was having a makeup event and had a professional makeup artist coming in to do makeup for their patrons in an education kinda way.  It cost $100. 

At first I was skeptical because that's a lot of  money to give someone to put makeup on you but then I thought about how clumsy I was in applying makeup and how, even though I had all the stuff the magazines said I was SUPPOSED to have...I still looked MADE UP when I wore makeup.  And it wasn't a good look for me.  AT ALL.

I look at pics of me pre 2004 with the wrong color lipstick and that dang mauvish hued blush and I'm like...WHAT THE HELL WAS I SMOKING WHEN I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR????????  A. HOT. DAMN.  MESS.

I HATE GARISH MAKEUP.  JUST...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! But I thought I was doing well. 

So.  I was told to bring in my make-up case and come in wearing makeup the way I usually do.  My session was scheduled for an hour.

The makeup artist, John, and I hit it off first thing.  He looked at me from head to toe and was like...you are too beautiful to wear all of that crap.

Me:  Um...thanks?  I...erra...think?

And then I was verbally abused and praised off an on for the duration of an hour and a half.  Why the extra half hour you ask?  I told ya...I HAD SERIOUS ISSUES!  And...he liked my flava.  ROFL! 

He and I discussed how there isn't a lot of information out there for black women and when we get one of the "kits" from the major makeup kings...it's usually not a palette that has taken ALL the skin tones for black women in mind.  Agreed.  Agreed.  And then I told him that when I DID see black women in some magazines...to me...she was TOO made up and that no one focused on a natural look for black women which is what I wanted him to show me.  Agreed.  Agreed.

So...he made me clean off my face and we started fresh.  He felt I just needed ACCENTING and proceeded to go through my makeup bag.

Him as he's tossing out things in my makeup bag:

No.

No.

Hell no.

What were you thinking no!

Goodness no!

No.

No.

AND NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  LIKE NEVER!

This fool even threatened to slap me a couple of times as I shrunk lower and lower into my chair.

I sat in silence with my mouf dropped open cuz that ish he was tossing out wasn't cheap.  I only had good stuff and the chicks at the makeup counters had assured me it was the HotNESS!

They lied.

The first thing he showed me was the difference between makeup being applied using a cheap brush versus makeup being applied using a GOOD brush.  And yall...the difference was PHENOMENAL!  At the time I was prolly like you in that I didn't think I needed a $35 dollar brush for just ONE THING.  But...I am ashamed to admit...it's prolly why I was walking around looking like Bozo for so long.  He showed me the difference in the cut and angle of the bristles and WHY they were that way.  And he applied the product on one side of my face and then let me imitate his technique on the other side.  I was impressed.  The difference was FABULOUS!

After going over my colors and what he felt I needed I learned that my makeup bag only needed the following things.

1.  A sheer liquid foundation that matched my color (I have one for winter and summer by the way because I enjoy the sun and get MUCH darker in the summer.) applied with a FOUNDATION BRUSH.

2.  A pressed powder that is BRUSHED ON and not BLOTTED ON using the pad that comes with it.

3.  Eyeshadow.  (I have three different looks he taught me, but my usual look only includes one color.) AND PROPER BRUSH!

3.  Mascara.

4.  Blush. AND PROPER BRUSH!

5.  Lip pencil. ALWAYS SHARPENED!

6.  Two lipsticks.

7. Brow shadow (??? I THINK that's what it's called).  AND PROPER BRUSH!

And that's all I keep in my makeup bag along with an eyelash curler and brow brush to brush my eyebrows in place.  Note I didn't say ish about eyeliners and concealer.  Why?  Cuz John says I don't need it.  YET.  And now I have enough sense to do this again once I feel like my look needs updating.

I don't wear makeup daily and prolly never will.  But the things I do daily include washing and moisturizing my face twice a day, eating a balanced diet,  moisturizing my lips daily AND KEEPING MY EYEBROWS SHAPED!

These things help me maintain my cute when I'm NOT made up which is like 95% of the time.  LOL! 

So...I guess I said all that to say...IT'S SPRING LADIES!  And time to update your look!  If you can...schedule an appointment with a REAL MAKEUP ARTIST and take notes.   I learned valuable lessons and I, PERSONALLY, think my makeup is fresh and natural and a perfect compliment to my skin tone.

On my wedding day...I did my own makeup.  I wanted a fresh and naturally beautiful look and I was soooooooooooooooooooo happy that what John taught me helped me to capture exactly that look. 

Music in my head:  LL Cool J - "Preserve the Sexy"  :)

What's the one thing....

...that you couldn't do without doing for yourself?

Say you're cutting down to the basics of everything beauty wise. What's the ONE THING....you couldn't do without doing for yourself?

Would it be going to the hairstylist? Mani's? Pedi's? Facials? Massages? Pricey makeup? WHAT?

For me...it would be getting my eyebrows threaded. Couldn't do without it. No way...no how.

Who are You When You're New in Love

"bag lady, you 'gone miss your bus, cuz you got too much stuff..."
erykah badu

How do you represent yourself in a new relationship?

It's almost that time of year. Not Christmas, not New Years, MLK Day is over and done, but it's almost Valentines Day which is the single most loved and dreaded day by single people all over the country. With this in mind the question of who we are when the newness of love springs up comes to mind. New romance is a delicate, wonderful, exciting and frightening thing, and it's the time that most of try to put our best foot forward in the hopes that this will be our last time "out there" trying to catch. It's also a time when many people unfortunately misrepresent themselves.

When romance is new and we are still crossing our fingers that he'll call us when he drops us off from our first date, it's far to easy to give in to what you think it cupid's bow, when instead it could be a kiss of death.

Take for example you ask him coyly what his plans for the weekend are and he tells you that he'll be planted in front of his flat screen watching sports all weekend.

THIS IS NOT SECRET CODE FOR I'D LOVE TO GO TO CHURCH AND BRUNCH WITH YOU!!

He literally means that he's going to be planted in front of his flat screen all day, which is to say that if you don't intend to make a batch of hot wings and sit with him, you might not see him until the games are done.

THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR YOU TO CALL HIM AND HAVE YOUR MOUTH POKED OUT BECAUSE HE SOUNDED DISTRACTED. 

If you know for a fact that you don't like sports, hate sports and don't know how to keep your mouth shut during the game, do not try to invite yourself over thinking you are going to get some one on one time.

DO NOT FOOL YOURSELF INTO THINKING THAT THIS SUNDAY IS A ONE TIME EVENT AND THAT HE WILL SPEND THE REST OF HIS SUNDAY'S WITH YOU GROCERY SHOPPING AND RUNNING ERRANDS WITH YOU! HE IS A SPORTS GUY, HE HAS TOLD YOU THIS UP FRONT. 

This is a small example but represents something that is very vital, which is communication, talking and listening are to key ingredients in a successful relationship, especially in the beginning when you are both trying to get to know each other.

Express yourself without exposing all of your baggage. Don't talk about what a dead beat your last four boyfriends were, or about that one time someone had to get a restraining order against you, but do tell him that you a very passionate person. Don't get so caught up in the fantasy you have been playing over and over in your head, that you ignore the reality of the man you are dating.

Do pay attention to the man you have on your arm. Listen to what he is saying about himself, his wants his needs and his desires. Listen to what he says about his ex's, his parents and his life in general. Listen and ask yourself if you hear a voice that you are willing to follow.

Do express your desires short and long term. If you know that you want children, and he tells you he's had a vasectomy, know that you two may not be a match. If he asks you to pay and you know that you are old fashioned and don't agree with that type of behavior, speak up! If you like to dance the night away,while doing shots of Patron, and he doesn't drink, don't expect him to change for you. As a matter of fact assume that he won't. Assume that he will remain exactly who he is, and then ask yourself if he's the man for you.

Show him who you are, slowing and with care. Don't be afraid to be yourself because if he falls for the person that you are not, eventually both of you will be disappointed.

Dating and romance can be a wonderful process if we allow ourselves to enjoy it and part of that enjoyment is being true to yourself.

This is Miss Ahmad guest blogging while Monnie gets her hand healed.

Twentyeight 30

Glamazon Life

Wow

Silk Pillowcases!

Smooches!

I get my silk pillowcases from here and was ordering a new one today and noted that monogramming is FREE till the end of this month.  I figured you guys should know about it too:  Cuddledown

How are YOU doing today?  Are you having a good day?  I know... I haven't been answering emails...just not in a chatty mood.  Forgive me.  I'll be back.  I'm on a down swing.

Random Hair Stuff

So yall remember I've been letting my hair grow since February for two reasons...one...just cuz I wanted to...two...cuz it irks me when folks think black women can't grow their hair and instead use weaves and wigs and such.

That said...here are some random photos of my journey so far:  http://monicamingo.smugmug.com/gallery/1852017/1/92890324