Being from the South I've heard plenty of harsh advice. A lot of times I was dipped down in a hallway somewhere listening in on grown folks conversation that I didn't have any business listening to. Had I been caught...oh yeah...I would have been called a "fast tailed lil girl."
Which was the worst thing you could have been called in my world. Nobody wanted to be fast tailed. NOBODY!
I remember overhearing once that "too many women out there screwing for free."
Now...to a simple brain...that sounds like the woman speaking was advocating for women to be prostitutes. To someone who knew her...they knew EXACTLY where she was with that. Basically...she was saying that women need to understand the power they have and that there was no reason you should be with a man who can't do anything for you. See...they were quick to peep the lil boys who were sniffing up behind you and, if they didn't have potential...they didn't have nainh problem letting you know this.
Many of these circumstances still exist but I think we've gotten too PC to say them out loud I think. Sure...when you're with people you REALLY care for, you have no reason to not say these type of things because you're not trying to let your loved ones go out like that. I've had this conversation with lil cousins fo' sho. I was on the phone with one of my cousins recently and she reminded me of something I said to her over a decade ago. I'd forgotten it, of course, but she said she always stuck to that simplistic and harsh as hell view when making decisions with matters of the heart and well...it works and worked for her. YOU would probably be shocked to hear what it was I said to her because I'd never say it to anyone OTHER than someone who flat out knows that I love them unconditionally and would do anything for them. PERIOD. I doubt I'd EVER put in print what I told her but I meant it and told her because I love her.
Same as my Elders have done with me. They can say some offensive azz, ratchet azz sounding ish but you can't pretend they aren't right. You might be hurt and mad cuz they DARED say some ish to you like that but trust...if you tried to go at them they'd be like...
"And who the hell are you that I have to watch my mouth before telling you something? I'm YOUR Uncle/Aunt/Grandmother/Mother/Father/Sister/Brother/Cousin. I want the best for you and don't give a damn how you feel if I know you're out there fucking up and you need to do better. Sitcho' lil azz down somewhere and listen. Bruised feelings ain't got shit on having a fucked up life cuz you thought you knew every damn thing. Take stock is what you need to do. Take stock and change some thangs cuz if you don't...shit is going to stay the same. I don't want my blood to be struggling for dumb azz reasons. Now go in there and bring me a cold glass of water and bet not be no Ceily shit floating in it either!"
And that's that.
Are we too PC with young adults and adults when it comes to checking their ish these days? Do you often find yourself not getting involved and not saying anything because you don't want to say the wrong thing knowing they will focus on the wrong shit? Or do you say it anyway not giving a damn?
I had a meeting in DC last week at the Dean Wood Community Center & Library. While in wait mode, I took a walk around the facility. To say I was impressed with it is the least I could say because the place truly blew me away.
I kept asking questions because I couldn't believe it was free to the public with minimal fees for use of services like the fitness center and the pool. There was a full blown senior center with a VERY active senior population, meeting rooms, quiet rooms, computer room, etc.
And it was all free.
I walked outside and walked around a bit stopping in my tracks when I saw this:
I met the most fascinating man yesterday in the simplest way possible. See...I have a neighbor who is really into her landscaping and I was checking out her new perennials. I asked her where she purchased them and she told me that someone told her about this super cute little nursery that a man owns behind his house. I was looking for some different shade perennials so I figured I'd give it a try.
It was only about 12 miles away from my home and it was a stunningly beautiful and yet cool day so a drive was just the thing. I put the country ribs I had marinating the fridge in the oven on 225 degrees and set the oven timer for 3 hours leaving The Robinator with instructions to simply take them out when the timer went off.
I listened to music as Kadijah (the GPS lady) directed me to the address and oohed and aaahed over the simple, country style homes with porches and big, fenced in yards that I see in my future.
I found the house and followed the gravel around to the back as the signage directed me to do and I was presented with this:
One of my favorite movies on EARTH is "Love and Basketball." I mean...it seriously doesn't get better than this movie for me. I watch it every.single.time I see it on and think to myself how awesome it is. Like...everything about it was good.
Sometimes I get really sad but I always reckon that's the way it is for a lot of people who've been through difficult times in life. Something hits you in a certain way you know? Like...a song comes on and that chord is stuck again and yeah...you're stuck in that moment, transported by your memories and it washes over you.
Sometimes I get really sad.
I guess my dog being on her last legs was the beginning of it this time for me. Then...we had death in the family and well...death in the family brings along a complete other set of pain for me and then...I'm stuck.
I start focusing too hard on internal scars from external scars which have since healed. I stare too long at the scar on my left breast. I sense the scar from my myomectomy even while fully clothed knowing exactly how long it is end to end and knowing what it cost me/us or...what I believe it cost me/us.
I tear up at pictures of babies. I choke on deep breaths watching adult daughters with their mothers. I focus too much on being far up North away from everyone and everything that has truly mattered for a lifetime.
And I get really sad.
I dwell too long on the one negative thing on a call instead of focusing on the fifty positive things. I get stuck. I worry about things out of my control. Things which could affect the long term. Things I couldn't do a thing about if I tried.
"There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."
Here are a few things that inspire me and get me recharged and ready to take on anything:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
This was Queeny's Facebook status message yesterday:
My Pastor announced in church that I will be getting ordained at our state conference this year!!! Keep me in your prayers as I study and prepare for this next step in ministry. Q
Many of you know that our girl Queeny is a minister and I have to say I'm RIDICULOUSLY proud of her! I call her TBT and folks always wonder what it means well...Imma share it with yall today. TBT = Thug Bible Thumper. ROFL! Why? Because she doesn't suffer fools and speaks EXTREMELY plainly without mincing her words getting folks' minds RIGHT!
See...I think some people need someone to snatch them up from time-to-time with the for real and baaaaaaaaaaaaby...The Good Reverend Queeny gives it TO 'EM!
CONGRATS QUEENY! YOU CONTINUE TO MAKE US PROUD AND INSPIRE US! LOVE YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH!
So...the dust has settled and the smoke has cleared from the kitchen fire at Dr. Punkin's house on Friday. State Farm is over there doing their one, two by way of cleaning and things are on the roll to be set back right.
But I have to tell yall about the ANGEL.
My sister's house is on a dead end street. The kitchen faces the dead end and it's right next to the carport.
Well...you couldn't see a kitchen fire from anywhere other than the carport basically.
My sister left to take the Golden Boy to school.
They think a burner was accidentally turned on and started melting ish which started the fire.
Well...the fire was straight up roaring in the kitchen. The Kentwood water delivery guy rolled up, saw the fire, grabbed his extinguisher from his work truck, kicked the door in and PUT THE FIRE OUT!
Lemme repeat that.
THE KENTWOOD WATER DELIVERY GUY ROLLED UP, SAW THE FIRE, GRABBED HIS EXTINGUISHER FROM HIS WORK TRUCK, KICKED THE DOOR IN AND PUT THE FIRE OUT!
My sister's alarm went off and the company called her to tell her there was movement in her kitchen. They dispatched the police. Mr. Kentwood called the fire department...police rolled up...my sister rolls up.
HER HOUSE COULD HAVE BURNED UP COMPLETELY.
My sister and I are alike in that we talk to everybody. She knows her Kentwood water delivery guy because he's been on her route for a long time. She talks to him...gets to know who he is as a person whenever he delivers when she's home. He knows she's a good person. When he saw that fire...all he could think was to help her in some way because she was always such a nice person to him. Since the fire wasn't that big when he saw it...he acted.
Dude is a hero. Dude is an ANGEL.
Thank God he arrived when he did. Thank God the fire didn't start AFTER he'd delivered the water.
So much to be thankful for.
It's going to be a good week playas! How you feeling today?
I know a lot of yall are getting it in something BIG.TIME and it's been a while since we've asked how close you are to your goals. So...spill it! Have you lost any? How much? How long has it taken you? What do you think is the most effective thing you're doing?
I don't understand people that say they support black shows and they don't even discriminate on the kind of black show. That's like saying I support black music and you listen to songs that negatively describe women or speak of violence and vulgar acts. Why support something because it is black?
You should support the things that uplift and empower you.. Make a conscious effort to be the change you wish to see...oh wait.. I don't want to start lecturing..
I have seen a Tyler Perry play and enjoyed it. However, the T.P. movies that have been in the theater always show women in a down and busted situation.. what's up with that? I am waiting on a movie that depicts black women in a positive light. We don't always have to have either drug issues, abuse issues, domestic violence issues, jail time issues, "no good man" issues, or other hardships that are "stereotypical"... Can't we just be in love without all the extra nonsense?
Do you believe you have the power to make a difference?
Do you believe that making a difference in one person's life will affect many others?
Do you recognize your strengths? Your weaknesses?
Are you too proud to accept help?
DO YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF?
AND DO YOU CARE?
I know who you are.
You visit this site everyday and you don't comment.
You're content with just being a spectator.
I'm calling you out.
Do you care?
Do you see what I'm trying to do?
Is my quest in vain?
Am I stoopit to continue to believe that you're "listening" and thereby "learning" empathy for others? You want to know what's going on in my world. Weird girl who writes alot... and believes in the power of being fabulous...
DO YOU CARE? ANSWER THE QUESTIONS DAMMIT! DO YOU CARE! It's killing me. This. Is. Really. Killing. Me.
I need a favor...I need you to comment. I need you to answer these questions. I WANT TO BELIEVE IN YOU. Please.
Amy and I powerwalked today. About twenty minutes into our walk we decided to walk a block then run a block. Walk a block then run a block. *sigh* Needless to say my butt burns (because Monnie runs from nothing but danger!) and now my calves are aching. I hate running! I'd rather kickbox. Why did I run then you ask? Because Amy started running and I consider her a wussy punk chick (she's gonna kill me for saying that) and wasn't about to let her run and my not run and beat her. Good reason huh? *sigh* (I need help.)
Maybe I should make friends with an Olympic Sprinter and then have a friendly "run" with him. Wonder if I'd win just on guts, glory and hoohah alone?
I'm a sad, sad, soul.
By the way...tomorrow between 2 and 4 I'm going out in the world and fighting crime. If you know of any crime being committed...make sure you send me an email or text message. Text message is prolly best since I'll be out saving the world.
I love this passage from Nelson Mandela's speech (written by Marianne Williamson) so much that I feel the need to share it at least once a year. I know most of you have seen it before...but I truly believe we need to be reminded of it on a regular basis. My wish today is that those of you who have yet to take it to heart and use it as a catalyst to your greatness...do so today. Love, Monnie
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Nelson Mandela