Rantings of a Creole Princess

What His Bedding Says About Him

Which one was/is your guy?  Robby was sooooooo bed in a bag.  ROFL!

What His Bedding Says About Him

Morehouse Dress Code: Boys Will be Boys

Two years ago Morehouse (a private university) decided a dress code was needed because students of the prestigious university had lost their ever-loving-minds.  Seems the menfolk were wearing sagging pants, pajamas bottoms with t-shirts and flip flops to class.  The new administration got annoyed when some of them walked around and saw their version of the talented tenth looking more like they were scattered around a crack house waiting on Pookie to bring them their fix.

I was cool with that.

I'm the type of adult that will tell a young man to pull up his pants in public.  I always make sure I tell him in a way that doesn't embarrass him in front of others but yeah...I tell him.

And they pull up their pants.

So yeah...I was cool with that.  It's Morehouse ya know?  MOREHOUSE.  Respect the legacy.

Last week Morehouse found themselves needing to CLARIFY the dress code a bit by adding the following rules:

Dear Well Dressed DC Metro Men:

 
Bryn Keith is holding a workshop to help you keep your stride STANK in a recession by showing you 6 looks from 1 suit!  If you're not familiar with Mr. Keith you should be.  Custom HotNESS is his specialty and he makes it look effortless.  Women...let your menfolk know!

6 From 1

Menfolk...it must be your day!

If any of you go anywhere with my boy E or my nephew Myles...you will see them break their neck trying to get to the door before a woman to open it.  Why?  Because their family makes sure they know what a man is sposed to do in order to command RESPECT as a man.

Folks walking around here with all that false bravado and say bruh...we usually don't need that.  Take me for instance.  I'm sweet and sour.  I came pretty close to training to compete in kickboxing so I'm okay.  And besides that...I have running on LOCK!  ("When I Move You Move").

Men...there are little things women expect you to handle and if you're a man...you will handle it without preamble knowing we shouldn't have to TELL you what you sposed to be doing.

Now I know some people didn't have the type of parents who enforced this way of thinking...but that's no excuse.  Why?  Because if you're a grown azz man you can use Mr. Google and I'm certain you've been exposed to SOMEONE who is doing it right.

Can I get an Amen?  Amen.

Aiight.  A few of my pet peeves and I'm sure the Divas will help school you on a few things as well.

1. When you are walking along a street with a woman...you need to be on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street.  It's the gentlemanly thing to do.  Now if a car splashes water on yall...the damsel won't get wet.  Before you get to balking...when is the last time a car has splashed water on you?  Exactly.  Shut up and walk on the right side.

2.  Always...ALWAYS open the car door.  Now I know this has gotten kinda laxed and these days it's perfectly fine to not open the door upon exiting the car unless you're on side of a busy street or there is water or snow and she'll need your hand to help steady her...but always...ALWAYS do it upon getting IN the car.  Cool?

3.  Always open doors, step to the side and let her enter.  If other folks are coming out...she will step to the side and wait on you while you let them out.  (Too many folks trying to come out while you're holding the door and you have SIP's permission to cut the fool.  Not MY permission mind ya...but SIP's.)

4.  When a woman goes shopping and hits the front door...you need to make your way outside and get the rest of the packages.

5. Never, EVER let a woman carry something heavy.  Matter-of-fact...if you aren't carrying anything and she is (besides her purse) um...Imma need you to handle up on that hotboy.

6.  Take out the trash.

7.  A woman should never have to wash her own car unless she wants to.

8.  Outside stuff if your job playa.  What man wants his woman to have callluses on her hands?  Um...can you say NOT cute?

9.  Snow shoveling?  No comment.  You ALREADY know.

10.  It snowed last night right?  Get up and clean off the cars if you don't have a garage or a teenage boy.  BOTH cars.

11.  Call and let folks know when you get somewhere when traveling.  We don't need to worry whether or not you got there safe.

12.  When you're at a nice dinner and she has to get up...GET YO AZZ UP HELL!  At least push your chair back and put your napkin on the table like you were GONNA!  Sheesh!

13.  At a nice dinner...pull her chair out for her when being seated.  And don't sit your azz down until ALL women have been seated. (Don't start eating until everyone has been served either...but I know yall KNOW this right?  The only time it's acceptable is when something has delayed the meal of one person and everyone's food is hot.  Do.NOT.make.me.cut.you.)

14.  Keep yo dang nails clean please.  Thank you.

15.  If it's cold and she's cold...offer her your jacket.  MAN UP!  Hell.  She prolly won't take it.  BUT...you NEED to offer it.

16.  Don't curse around women you're trying to date seriously.

17.  Be respectful of her parents. 

18.  Do NOT act a donkey's butt if you go to visit her parent's home and you can't sleep in the same room with her if yall ain't married. Seriously.  SERIOUSLY.  DO.NOT.MAKE.ME.CUT.YOU.

19.  When you visit a woman's parents for the first time...TAKE GIFTS.  Flowers for the mother...wine for the father.

20.  Help out...as much as possible...whenever possible...doing what the hell ever.

21.  Help her in and out of her coat.

22.  Take your family's safety SERIOUSLY.

23.  Take the dog out at night.

24.  ALWAYS buy the...erra...um...THINGS needed for...erra...um...RELATIONS.

25.  Yall need something from the store AT NIGHT?  That's you playa.  Either you go or YALL go.  She should NOT go alone.

I'm getting mad typing this up.  Yall add on and help the menfolk out.

I love a well dressed dude!

Great ties make me giggle. Classic prints? HotNESS!

IN MY OPINION!

Um...LH...whatchu rocking today?

Men and Manicures

Men...do you get manicures?

Women...does your man get a manicure?

If he doesn't...what is his reason?

From a Single Guy...

Why is it ok for a guy to see a girl in her bathing suit and not in her panties and bra?  It's the same thing.

Tom Ford is the HOTTEST OF THE HOTNESS EVERRRRRRRRRR!

This look is sooooooooooooo SICK! Tom Ford is THE MAN!

MIRDLES??????? MEN'S GIRDLES???????

http://online.wsj.com/public/article/SB120553577196338037-f6W1MrFrbmeOoZow2JwqqiMfMw4_20090315.html?mod=rss_free

Question...

A chick I know gets her hair shaped up at the barber shop.  She was offended by a conversation that was going on while she was there and asked my opinion.  I was like...hey...what do you expect?  It's the barber shop.  Pretty much it's the place men go to gossip with each other without them thinking it's actually gossiping.  ROFL!

Then she had the nerve to get mad at me! 

What say you?  CAN you get offended and expect something different at the barber shop than their business as usual?  Or do you need to just bring a book, tune up your ipod and zone out till it's your turn?  Doesn't everyone know the barber shop is MAN ZONE?

Do Women Use Work as an Excuse not to be Domestic?????

Instrastin:

My Favorite Shirt / Tie Combo of the Robinator

With a black three button suit. YUMMY! The Robinator kissed me goodbye and I woke up and noted he was wearing my favorite combo. I LOVE pink on a man!

What about you? Do you like pink on men?

From JuiceBox:

I'm at the traffic light and saw this shop and couldn't resist snapping this photo for SIP! The first thought that came to mind-------SIP would throw a smoke bomb in that place!  LOL

Are your eyes bleeding from this sign yet?  GOOD!!!!  That's for talking about you're going to serve me juice boxes.  LOL

Tanyetta

Monnie's in a MOOD.

I woke up this morning after having a medicinal induced sleep. I broke down at the last minute and took something for my back so I could sleep better and called it a night.

It's cold and raining here and even the yellow walls of my bedroom, which usually make me smile, didn't warm my spirits after I checked my email.

Skater sent me an email from an addy I'm sure he/she just made up and put me in a foul azz mood. Was it because of what was said? No because I know Skater doesn't know or "know" me and therefore nothing he/she says about me would ever hurt me. It was HOW he/she said it.

Skater's email was so hard to read because of the use of language and grammar. It was so hard to read that I kinda COULDN'T get the meaning of what he/she was even TRYING to say.

I used to have a friend that would email me issues they were having at work trying to get promoted. Now I can read typo very well. Hell...we all make mistakes in spelling...but her ish was all OVER the place and I'm thinking to myself...that's your problem right there. The written word is powerful and really is a very good gauge of your level of intelligence. Sentence structure is basic and if you don't have the basics down...you're pretty doomed for the rest of your life in your writing because the person reading it will assume you're not too bright.

I remember a friend who was a teacher once showing me a letter a parent wrote to her regarding her child. After reading the letter...there was no wonder why the child was falling so behind in school when the parent seemed to be one of those parents who was involved with their child's education. Basically...how can YOU teach your child the proper use of words if you don't know it yourself?

The written word is powerful bruh.

I know I think faster than I type and sometimes I re-read something I've wrote and find typos out the wazoo...but the difference is...I RECOGNIZE my mistakes and if I'm dealing with something or someone and want to get my point across...I double check my work before I click SEND.

If you're having issues in this department, you should google adult business writing classes in your area. That, coupled with REAL reading and a style manual is going to be the only thing that would help you.

From Skater's email I have determined that he/she is EXTREMELY challenged in this area and it's sad because he/she claimed to have graduated from college. Just goes to show to me that the education system is failing certain people and it's probably because these certain people are going along through life NOT HAVING BETTER EXPECTATIONS FOR THEMSELVES AND ACCEPT MEDIOCRE WITHOUT SPEAKING UP FOR THEMSELVES. And this is where we come full circle.

Skater was upset because we listed things that we feel a man should know to do. Let me point out that Lord Hannibal seemed to have an issue with this too. Prior to that comment by LH...I had one opinion of him...that opinion has changed and now I'm looking at his OBVIOUSLY INTELLIGENT azz side-eyed. Why? Because based on his writing I would assume he would know better and that that list was redundant to him because it was how he carried himself...you know...as a GENTLEMAN.

Why has being a gentleman become something bad? You're a PUNK because you cherish ("How to be CHERISHED") your woman? Nah playa...in my book that makes you a MAN.

The difference with Skater and LH is that I know I can have an intelligent debate with LH. With Skater...it's not something I'm willing to try because I know all he/she would focus on is the negative...and not to the message involved. And we ALL know how much I HATE STOOPIT PEOPLE.

I'm up now because I slept so long and I am NOT in a good mood. SIP is prolly gonna take over the site now and I feel for anyone playing games or saying stoopit ish.

LH...I'm ready to dance with you. I've been waiting ever since you said what you said about what you would tell an overweight woman. You choose. You know I'm pretty damn fit so I can salsa, mamba, cha-cha...whatever. Let's dance. Today it's gonna be all about you. Why? Because you're smart enough to know that if I didn't care I wouldn't say ish and you know that the debate will be a learning experience for all involved.

I'm going to ask two simple questions to get us started.

1. Why did you have a problem with my list?
2. Why do YOU think you're not married yet?

P.S. Skater, I simply wish you enlightenment and the next time you visit a site I suggest you poke around a bit and read before getting in on the mix. Smooches.

Menfolk Chores

I saw my neighbor putting out the trash this morning holding her baby on her hip.  Her husband lives there.  I have seen her put out the trash on several occasions and it makes me go...Hmmmmmmm.  I know these people and know that her husband is an azzhole so I wasn't surprised.

Robby puts out the garbage at 13700.  He puts out the recycling too.  He feeds the dogs, walks them and does the "outside" stuff.  He's a neat freak so his man-cave is never dirty.  When he comes home from the office he takes off his suit and hangs it up properly.  He puts his shirt in the drycleaning basket and puts away his shoes after he has inserted the cedar trees to absorb the excess moisture.

In our house...I'm the messy one.  If you see a pile of something stacked up...it's mine.  LOL!  I ain't gonna EVEN front.

We don't get to spend very much time together during the week because of our schedules so we have adopted certain things to make sure we have the max time to hang. 

I cook dinner, he puts away the leftovers.  The dishes are rinsed but he doesn't put them in the dishwasher til morning because he gets up before goodness and I get up waaaaaaaaaaaaay after goodness.  :)

He does his fair share in other words and I wish I would have to put out some dang garbage while he's home.  Humph.

So...to you menfolk who are reading this...I need you to take your azz home and...if you're NOT already...figure out how to get in the process.  For Thanksgiving Imma need you to research wines that will compliment the menu and go to the store and buy it.  Imma need yall to make sure you have the proper glasses you're going to need for the drinks you're going to serve and Imma need yall to be the bartender when folks are in your home.  Imma need you to keep checking the garbage can and empty it whenever it's full because when we are cooking BIG meals...the trash gets full QUICKLY.  AND...Imma need you to stay out the way.  When you come into the kitchen Imma need you to make yourself as small as possible.  No sudden movements and please...baby steps. 

If you are cooking something...please ask when is the best time for your oven or stove usage.  I can't have you in the kitchen turning the oven down to 300 when it's at 350 for a reason (my father used to do this and drive my mother NUTS!) and whenever you're in the kitchen during the cooking...if you see something in the sink that could be rinsed and put in the dishwasher...hit it okay?  Once it's full...start it.  Once it's finished...empty it.

A couple of hours before the guests arrive...take it upon yourself to vacuum and light a few candles.  Sweep in front of the front door to the house and make sure there is extra toilet paper in the guest powder room.  You know...finishing touches that we would do IF WE WEREN'T COOKING!!!!!!

When you see the timer counting down on the stove for the turkey...make yourself available.  No woman should have to ask you to take a big azz hot turkey out of the oven for her.  You needsta be right there when that sucker starts beeping.  But DON'T remove it until she's said it's done.

Yall always asking how you can help and yet end up downstairs on the sofa watching the game the entire time.

Last but not least...please...PLEASE put on something that shows we take care of your azzes.  Do NOT come schelping downstairs looking like you live in a college dorm.  That is NOT.CUTE.

If I didn't love you...I wouldn't say a WORD.

Handle that menfolk.  We know you got it in you.