"I don't care what you believe. I can't give you the power to hurt me again."
"I know. And I'm so sorry. I'm not proud of what I did but you have to understand, you told me you no longer loved me, no longer wanted to be with me and well...that fucked me up. I was so hurt, so very, very hurt and the only thing I could think was that, you know what? Other women want me. So what that she doesn't. And the only thing I was thinking when I was with her was that I should punish her for not being you and I fucked her. Hard. And I rolled away feeling emptier than I've ever felt in my life. I felt lost. Like...I'd never have the life I wanted. I'd never have what my parents had because I was fucked up and have been since my father died and I lay there and thought of nothing but what I needed to do in order to get you back so I could FEEL again so when you walked in, and saw me at the lowest point of my life...truly...unbelievably...I wanted to die. I know I fucked up. I know I'm fucked up. I know more than you think I know cuz I know that I've never been more alive than I was when I was with you. I miss you so much. I miss the possibilities. I miss every.single.thing about you. Please forgive me. Or...at least try. Please."
He stood there begging, pleading with every fiber of his being and through her tears she watched him, chest heaving, mad as hell at the hurt he caused her. The DEVASTATION she experienced finding him in bed with another woman only a day after they'd broken up.
Everyone has been giving tributes to Ms. Houston since she left us on Saturday.
Nice, sweet, tributes.
This morning on GMA...Celine Dion went OFF.
She basically was pissed off because, in her words, Ms. Houston put drugs over being a mother, over love for her family, over her career.
She went on to say that people taking drugs to go to sleep, drugs to wake up, drugs to relax, drugs for this that and the other is crazy. She said it's why she is scared of "show business" and why she stays away from it. She says that your life should be about family and love and that's what she tries so hard to make hers about. She pointed out that this isn't the first time it's happened and won't be the last and people really need to stop messing with drugs and don't put show business above your family and love.
I was watching Selena Gomez this morning and heard the song above.
You know how sometimes music triggers a memory in you ? Well...this song triggered a memory for me and it made me laugh.
I remember getting something wrong and I was trying to make myself feel better about it because I've always been extremely hard on myself. My father came home and questioned why I got the something wrong in that directly confrontational way he had.
Me: Well...I mean...I'm not perfect.
Dad: (straight up YELLING!) WHO SAYS YOU'RE NOT PERFECT! YOU'RE PERFECT DAMMIT! DON'T LET ME HEAR YOU SAY YOU'RE NOT PERFECT AGAIN! YOU'RE PERFECTLY YOU! NOW GO GET ME SOME DAMN WATER!
I went to get him some water.
My mother was in the kitchen and heard him yelling.
Mom: Why is your father yelling?
Me: Cuz apparently I'm perfect.
Mom: *BLINK*
I love my life.
Do songs trigger memories in you as well? Mostly sad, happy or funny as hell?
Okay so yeah...I didn't know they were coming on until Cojoe called to tell me to turn to it. Then I had to do the Verizon Fios search thingy to even find BET.
Well...first thing I thought was that wow...Ms. Anita Baker has been eating potato chips. Shhhhhhhhhhhhh...I didn't say that.
So Kevin Hart is a MAJ.FAV of mine. LOVE.THAT.DUDE.SOOOOOOOO MUCH! He makes me laugh like ca-ra-zy!
Seriously...Charlie Wilson just sang this on "The View" and BLEW.ME.AWAY! It was AMAZING! JUST...WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! I'm about to go buy this album...RAT.NOW! I was up in this mofo swaying and looking for a damn lighter to hold up.
ABSOLUTELY BREATHTAKING!!!!!!!
CreoleInDC: Whew! CreoleInDC: So glad you're here. CreoleInDC: I need to blame you right quick. CreoleInDC: For what you ask? CreoleInDC: KILLING HIP HOP! Dude: what?
I've been reading up on Hip Hop a lot because I'm working on a project surrounding it. I've read more than once that people believe the South killed Hip Hop.
Then a lot of other folks claim Atlanta killed Hip Hop.
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