Growing up I was never allowed to do a lot on my own. Everything I did included one of my parents in very close vicinity. Wasn't no dating, going to the mall with my girls, being hugged all up on the phone all hours of the night...none of that.
I went to school on the bus and returned on the bus unless my parents picked me up (they even picked me up on the bike once...SERIOUSLY). After cheerleader practice I was picked up. VERY rarely was I allowed to ride with someone else. I never slept over at anyone's home and no one but an occasional cousin spent the night at our home. My father usually always showed up at away games and I had a whole list of rules I knew were rules without them being uttered cuz I KNEW my parents.
And I knew they didn't play.
Yup...I was raised with fear as my compass and my tyrant of a father as my guide.
I always thought to myself that my childhood sucked ass as I compared my lack of freedom with those of my friends and I always said that when I was on my own I'd do this that and the other.
Turns out I didn't. Turns out I kinda didn't like people all that much so I pretty much always only hung with my circle of friends.
Turns out I didn't like crowds so I kinda stayed on the sidelines of much stuff anyway. I was scared of what would jump off when I didn't have someone there to protect me cuz I was TRULY on.my.own.
Turns out my daddy knew what he was doing...kinda. Turns out I knew I needed a protector to stay safe.
This morning I was watching GMA talk about teen girls and sans ropas. I've heard it before, of course, but some things still shock me.
I remember once hearing about some teenage girl on a school bus performing oral sans ropas on a teenage boy. A bus full of kids. I didn't want to believe it but I knew it was prolly true and that it prolly happened more often than not. I thought about me on a school bus back in the day and how nothing like that would have ever happened to me because these things just didn't happen.
Or maybe they did and I just didn't know about it.
I don't think that I can honestly say that I'd be as hard on my children as my father was on us but sometimes I wonder if it's the only reason I didn't have a lot of the negative experiences regarding sans ropas as a teenager and young adult I've heard others say they had. Sometimes I wonder if the only way to TRULY protect children is to never allow them the opportunity to mess up before they are old enough to understand they ARE messing up.
Sometimes I wonder if being a girl and raised as I was is the best way to raise a girl in this day and age.
Is freedom and allowing teenagers to make their own mistakes TRULY overrated? Or do you think it's the best way to teach them how to fend for themselves? Is it really wrong for children to feel they will always be protected because you will always be there?
When will YOU be comfortable loosening the reigns?
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