There are lots of random movies that I adore. Like...I could watch them over and over again and generally do whenever I run into them on television. "Billy Elliot" is one of those movies. I ADORE that movie and it just makes me smile and smile and smile.
See...Billy didn't come from the sort of family who even knew what the ballet was. In fact...when questioned about why he loves ballet during his interview...he's honest when he tells them that he doesn't know how he even got interested in it in the first place.
I love the kids. When they aren't showing their behind. When they are showing their behind...I don't have a second to spare for them.
But mostly...I love the kids.
A kid invited me to a fundraiser for their school recently at Red Robin. I thanked them for inviting me and told the kid I wasn't going to be able to make it.
The kid was cool and kept it moving saying, "Maybe next time."
SIP: Not even if Jesus, Joseph, Mary, Oprah and Joaquin Phoenix were serving.
I remember when I used to get me a 6 piece kid's meal at Chick Fil A (back in the days before Dan Cathy crowed about his perfect family being married to their first wives and anti-gay crap) and I'd see families pouring in for fundraisers and it used to make me go hmmmmmmm...
Recently I asked Mr. Google about the restaurant school fundraiser stuff and found that fast food restaurants across the country host these fundraisers and they are major money makers. ESPECIALLY McTeacher's Night.
Does your child's school have them? Do you participate? How do you feel about them? Do you think about them AT ALL?
I was with a group of friends recently and we were discussing teenagers dating. We were a mixed group of women. All ages and skin colors.
I listened as some of the women spoke about how their first boyfriend was when they were 13 years old. One woman said her boyfriend would come over and study or watch television with her and have dinner with her family. She would go to his house sometimes too, but not as much.
I remember once where a friend's parents had an argument in front of her child and the child freaked out and cried hysterically because she'd never seen a mommy and daddy argue and she thought it was something very, very bad. Like...end of the world bad. Why? Because her parents never argued in front of her so she had this fairy tale opinion of communication.
You know...where nobody ever gets mad.
She'd get overly sensitive at school too when it came to criticism because she lived in a happy place at home.
What do you think about that? Do you think it's a good thing? Did your parents argue/fight in front of you?
WELCOME TO THE HARVARD COLLEGE FINANCIAL AID OFFICE
Harvard College has provided assistance to students who need help in meeting their education expenses for over 350 years, enabling us to seek out the most outstanding scholars in the world and open our doors to students of exceptional ability and promise, regardless of their financial circumstances. Approximately 60% of undergraduates will receive an estimated $182 million in need-based Harvard Scholarship aid in 2013-14. Over the past decade we have increased our financial aid by 150 percent, enhancing our program to ensure the affordability of a Harvard education even in these challenging economic times. We understand that the thought of financing four years of college can be a daunting prospect for anyone, and we are eager to help you and your family understand our financial aid programs and assist you in finding ways to meet your college costs.
All of our financial aid is awarded on the basis of demonstrated financial need – there are no academic, athletic or merit-based awards, and we meet the demonstrated need of every student, including international students, for all four years. We invite you to explore our web site for a detailed description of all aspects of our aid program, including our Harvard Financial Aid Initiative for low and moderate income students, under which parents with incomes currently below $65,000 are not expected to contribute to college costs.
We do not consider home equity or retirement accounts as resources in our determination of a family contribution, and aid packages do not include any loans. A typical student may receive over $150,000 in Harvard scholarship assistance over four years and the majority of students receiving scholarship are able to graduate debt-free. Our program continues to be generous for students across the economic spectrum, with more than two thirds of those receiving scholarship assistance coming from families with incomes greater than $65,000.
We invite prospective students and their families to complete our Net Price Calculatorto receive an individual estimate of their scholarship eligibility and cost of attendance at Harvard. We look forward to working with you.
I asked someone today how was their daughter and she responded, "Oh, she's fine now. We're just waiting until the next bout of girl drama." And she laughed. Apparently...girls have far more drama than boys in her opinion as she is the mother to both. What say you? Do girls have more drama. What was the last bout of girl drama you had to deal with as a parent?
Were you MADE to do stuff you didn't want to do because your parents didn't want you sitting around doing nothing?
I know we had to do a physical sport and a club. My parents were ADAMANT about the physical sport even if you sucked at it. You had to DO something so you could learn how to be a part of a team and interact with people outside of the classroom. You were not allowed to do nothing and not have any obligations at all.
What about your parents? What about your kids? Did/do you require them to be active participants in organizations and sports at school? Why or why not?
I was talking to a friend the other day and she was sharing that she has a problem accepting help from people no matter who it is. When someone offers her help with something...she automatically says, "That's okay, I can do it." She realized that this has been a problem in the relationships she's had and that more than a couple of her exes have shared this frustration with her.
But she says she can't help herself.
The other day she was being really reflective and wondered if it was because she's a single mother. She said when her child was younger, it was just easier to do everything herself instead of giving someone the opportunity to disappoint her when it came to doing things for her child. She wondered if it became so second nature to her to get it done herself...that it became second nature in every aspect of her life.
Single mothers...do you have the same stance on life? Do you think you have a problem with accepting help from anyone because you learned you can only count on yourself? Do you think it's easier to do what you need done YOURSELF? Do you have a problem letting others in because of this?
My mother was a peace and loving kinda woman. My father? Not so much. I learned early on who was going to say what when it came to their opinion as to how to deal with certain things.
I was teased a lot in school because hey...kids can be dicks. It never bothered me because well...I had other things to worry about even as a child.
I remember a particularly hateful girl going in on the regular and I was pretty much tired of her azz. I ignored her and that infuriated her and she just kept trying to get in my head. I was at the grocery store with my mother and another mom told her that her daughter had told her how the girl always talked about and teased me.
My mother's eyes narrowed imperceptively to all but me. I knew her face well and recognized when she got "tight."
The conversation ended politely and we headed home. On the way home my mother asked me about old girl carefully. She then asked about some of the things old girl said. I could tell it hurt her because a lot of it had to do with the challenges she and my father had but she looked at me and told me..."The next time she says some slick shit to you, pick up a stick and knock the shit out of her ass."
AND I WAS STUNNED.
My mother didn't curse.
And my mother wasn't the one who normally give me such advice.
Needless to say, I did as my mother told me to do but it wasn't with a stick. (I should have used a stick.) I came home disheveled and told her how it went down. She told me to change out of my school clothes and do my homework.
No biggie. Nothing to see here folks.
Later that night she slipped me one of her Turtles. You had to either know my mother or watch "Everybody Hates Chris" to get how monumental this was. Her words while holding it out to me? "Don't take no shit off NOBODY. EVER."
I think about that all the time as I reflect on my parent's relationship. I wonder how it was that she could be so strong to empower me so poignantly and yet...never seemed to get there herself. I'll never forget that and I'll never be the chick who takes crap off anyone and I'm so grateful for my parents instilling that in me because I've seen the opposite in others and it hurts me to my heart.
It does make me wonder...how does one get this message as an adult if it wasn't instilled in them as a child? Is it even possible? What say YOU? Did you ever have any come to Jesus messages like this from your parents? In the world we live in where schools are straight up no tolerance...how do you have these same come to Jesus conversations with your own children?
When other people's kids are with you and your kid...how do you handle situations where they want or want to do something you don't allow but they say their parents allow?
For example...you don't allow your kids to drink soda and you're at a restaurant and they ask for soda. You tell them no soda but they can have water or milk, the same as your kids. They say they don't drink milk and that their mother lets them drink soda so they want soda. IN A MOUTHY KIND OF WAY WHICH MAKES YOUR KIDS STEP BACK THINKING YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO A SNATCH GRAB.
You don't want to make it seem as if their mother is wrong for allowing them to drink soda right? Also...you don't want your kids to think that drinking soda is even remotely a possibility since you're raising them to understand healthy living, etc.
How do you handle? Have you ever had to deal with something like this?
How did you teach YOUR kids about their inside voice? When we were kids and we were too loud at home my mother would simply put us out. If she was being generous enough to let us be inside with the air, you hated being sent outside in the Louisiana heat so you learned QUICKLY what was exceptable INSIDE and OUTSIDE.
Do you feel like your kids are actually learning in school or are they learning how to pass tests mostly?
I'll tell you why I'm asking. I asked E a question recently that I felt he should know based on what I knew he was studying in a class. He couldn't answer it. He then told me that it wasn't something that was on the study guide so they didn't focus on it in class.
But it was something pretty simple.
Sure...he could recite the hard answers because he'd studied them since they were on his study guide...but the little simple answer, which would have proved he actually understood what was going on from a wider perspective...he couldn't answer.
So yeah...it made me wonder.
With the study guides, open book tests, and calculators...do you think your kids are learning in school or are they simply learning how to do well on the tests?