A multi-millionaire dates a woman and they get engaged.
He buys her an engagement ring worth $785k.
They are engaged for less than a year.
He says SHE broke off the engagement.
She says THEY mutually broke off the engagement.
He wants his ring back.
What's YOUR opinion of who should get the ring when an engagement is broken?
How would you feel if you found out FOUR YEARS LATER ...that a man you were in an exclusive relationship with (engaged)...has now told THE WORLD he's gay?
Would you feel betrayed? Used? Angry?
Or would you simply be glad you didn't find out after you were married and had kids?
JASON COLLINS' EX-FIANCEE
I Had NO IDEA He Was Gay
Read more: http://www.tmz.com/2013/04/30/jason-collins-carolyn-moos-fiancee-gay/#ixzz2Rxl0QBbk
Visit the TMZ Store: http://tmzstore.com
Every now and then I have a marathon conversation with one of my good friends. We catch up what's going on with the other discuss all sorts of stuff.
The conversations can last more than an hour cuz really...we try and pack it all in.
A couple of years ago she dropped the bomb that this woman, who we always knew of as EXTREMELY smart, was dating a married man. It wasn't normal married mind you...it was a full separation. Dude had moved out, got a new place, was openly dating, etc.
I was talking to someone who is dating someone new.
All of two weeks.
She's pretty happy with the way things are going and thinks that, SHOULD THEY GET MARRIED, they'd be happy together.
SIP: AAAARRRRRUUUUUUU?????
She told me of a situation which came up and he told her that, SHOULD THEY GET MARRIED, that situation wouldn't go down like that.
SIP: AAAAAARRRRRRUUUU????
She also shared that, SHOULD THEY GET MARRIED, some other things about him would have to change.
SIP: AAAAARRRRRRUUUU????
Back when I was dating, I always felt weird when a new guy came out the gate talking about marriage all willy nilly. To me...marriage talk should only be held between two people who know each other MUCH better. I'd feel like a dude was using the marriage talk as a ploy. Some kinda bait. A piece of the game they were playing.
In my experience...you may have only discussed marriage lightly as in, "Do you see yourself married one day?" Or..."How long have your parents been married?"
Not as in..."If we get married...blah, blah, blah."
How do YOU feel about marriage talk early on like that? Are you FOR or AGAINST it? Does it weird you out a bit? Have you ever felt like a guy was using marriage as "bait?"
I've had my current cellphone number for probably 11 years I think. Before that...I'd had the same cellphone number for as long as I'd been with my previous carrier down South.
It's very odd to find people changing their cell numbers these days unless they make a major move. It's become commonplace to keep that same number for years and years and years.
A girlfriend and I were out and about recently and she got a text message out the blue from her ex-boyfriend. She looked down and laughed and texted him back. Turns out every few months or so...he texts her out the blue and she responds according to the mood she's in.
She then told me that she has a couple of exes who do this. She doesn't mind communicating with them via text sometimes. They were good guys...not just the guy for her.
Instrastin...
What say you? Is exting something you do from time to time? Would you? SHOULD YOU? When should it cease?
A 44 year old woman told me that she doesn't want to still be single by the time she's 45 years old.
I didn't say much because there kinda wasn't really much I could say right?
But I thought a lot about it.
She's been single for 44 years so there is a good chance that she'll still be single in a year right? It concerns me that she's actually setting this up as a goal because I think this being a goal might open the door for their to be some moves based on reaching the goal ONLY and not because she's met someone that is good to and for her.
And that concerns me because hell...yall know I love love and want everyone to have it.
What are YOUR thoughts?
While looking for a picture for this post...I ran across this: Single At 45: What Lies Ahead?
Do you find dating difficult? Is it easy for you to meet someone? If it's easy for you to meet someone...is it difficult to date the people you meet? If so...why?
WHAT'S SO HARD ABOUT DATING????????????
I know of a woman whose husband has been tipping out on her since before they were married. Now he's, apparently, REALLY tipping out and she's fighting to save their marriage.
Not THEY are really fighting. SHE is really fighting.
And that baby's nerves are really bad behind it all.
Last night we went to see "This Is 40." It was a bit longer than we thought it should be but that's that style of movies this crew does where they just ramble and talk like we do in real life so it's cool if you like that in a movie.
There were some major gut busting laughs...especially during the weekend getaway scenes.
There is one part in the movie where a couple was apologizing to each other for a stupid fight they'd had. The woman said something along the lines of wanting to be with her husband forever and the husband was like...you're already with me forever...da hell you talking about?
And that made me smile cuz that's how Robby and I view marriage. Hell...we're together forever so yeah...be mad...and get over that shit cuz ain't nobody going nowhere and we don't want to be miserable so we need to sit down and deal with this shit as it is and make it better.
MAKE.IT.BETTER.
See...we respect and love each other so we take things the other says seriously when we have a problem. Now...please don't think that means we've mastered communicating effectively all the time cuz it doesn't. Sometimes I don't wanna hear shit right then and sometimes he doesn't wanna hear shit right then.
But we always circle back around to it and deal with it. We don't walk or run away when we're fighting. I wish Robby would walk off and out of my house like somebody stole his damn bike. That shit is disrespectful. You'd better take your mad azz to the basement until you can use your words hell.
And that's vice versa.
I used to be the type who needed to get as far away as possible from an S/O who'd pissed me off but honestly...that was just me being immature or maybe it was just me with someone who wasn't Robby...the love of my life. I can be mad at Robby and be right up under him because I know whatever thing I'm mad about isn't who he is completely.
We both have things the other does which irks the hell out of us but we realize we're being irrational that it irks us so we try not to say anything about it because seriously...it's just dumb and thank goodness we have enough sense to understand that too.
The thing we do right more than anything, in my opinion, is laugh. It's always comedy at 13700. ALWAYS. And I wouldn't change it for the world.
The best thing about the movie is that it will probably make you talk about and think about your marriage. We drove home laughing and talking and then got home pretty happy and secure with what we have. The second we walked into our home I looked at Robby and said..."And this is 43."
LOL!
And it is.
Ain't nobody going nowhere. That should be the mindset of marriage.
SIP: Unless there is cheating and beating.
What say YOU?
The other day Shelly and I got in trouble.
We did something seemingly innocent and Robby cussed us BOTH the hell out and stomped off like somebody stole his bike.
We tried to defend ourselves but he wasn't trying to hear it.
In the end we were left whispering on the phone about him being right but there is a gray area that we were in and it wasn't really our fault.
Shelly and I agreed we should never do what got us cussed out again.
Kinda.
I think.
It's on Shelly.
We laughed about it last night as the situation came up again and we decided to bow out. Shelly called me and we 'bout DIED laughing at getting in "trouble" as grown azz women.
The thing about Robby, however, is that he is a pretty black and white kinda guy (no pun intended). Once someone crosses a line...he erects a wall so he can't even see them across that line anymore. As women...we pretty much can allow the line to be blurred based on the specific incident. Sure...we'll be wary because of the initial line crossed...but yeah...we can give a pass.
Robby says that's why women are crazy.
What do YOU say?
Do you listen to YOUR S/O when he's criticizing something you've done that he doesn't agree with? Do you cave because you just don't want to argue or do you defend your actions? How do you determine your follow-on action?
Oh and Slim...don't get jumped. LOL!
I was talking to someone about dating and sharing that the most important part...IN MY OPINION...is taking your time to get to know the person just dating without trying to force anything. No jumping right into a relationship cuz you're single and they're single. See...I feel like you need to give the crazy pebbles a chance to surface so you know exactly what you're dealing with.
And then...it got kinda gray because I couldn't really explain exactly what I was trying to say.
See...you know I believe that God sends you pebbles before He hits you with a brick.
Crazy pebbles too.
The thing about crazy pebbles that's most important is how YOU are able to deal with them.
So I used a for example...
The 'Love Hormone' Keeps Monogamous Men Away From Sexy Ladies
Read more: http://www.livescience.com/24753-men-oxytocin-love-hormone-fidelity.html#ixzz2CIuXjA2k
What say you? Agree? Disagree?
Do you think men who don't put themselves in situations where they are around women they could be attracted to more likely to be monogamous?
Do you think men in situations where they are always around women they are attracted too tempted more EVEN IF THEY LOVE THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
Is it all just opportunity?
Do you think the smarter men are the ones who KNOW their weaknesses and make CONSCIOUS efforts to stay away just in case?
...what's the most difficult conversation a wife may have to have with her husband?
Do you think you'd shy away from having a difficult conversation with your husband knowing that it would hurt his feelings even though it is an issue for you?
Do you think more women DON'T discuss difficult things with their husband in order to keep the peace?
Do you think it's EVER okay to NOT discuss something EXTREMELY difficult with your spouse?
You ever been sitting down minding your own business only to be harrassed for no reason at YOUR home?
If not...you should. LOL!
Do you know anyone who met their spouse or S/O online?
What are the sites people are using these days?
I had a conversation with a male friend at an event recently about stay-at-home wives.
Which, for the most part, I am.
He asked me if I always wanted to be a stay-at-home wife and I said I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mother and wife. I told him how we set up our life so that we could have all the pieces in place in order to raise a child or children the way we wanted to and, when that didn't happen, I went with my Plan B.
So...he asked if I'd told The Robinator that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom prior to our getting married and I told him absolutely. We'd discussed it from the very beginning when we talked about what we wanted out of life so yeah...he knew.
He then told me that if Robby had been a Black guy...we probably would have stopped dating immediately after making that known and, if most Black women who want to be a stay-at-home mom were smart...they'd keep that to themselves until after the wedding and she was good and pregnant.
Ummmmmm...erra...
I was deep into a dirty martini so I asked him a few questions a'la Ms. Smart to get him to continue to talk.
And talk he did.
Basically he stated that ain't no Black man looking to take care of a grown azz woman who is capable of working and that if the man has to go out and work...the woman has to as well cuz it ain't cheap living in the world we live in and unless the man was big time wealthy...it's not something he could even consider in 2012. He said Black men aren't wired for the possibility because life will always be more of a struggle in their minds.
I shut him down, of course, because I know more than a few stay-at-home moms. I conceded that for certain men PERIOD...this may be true but not to loop all Black men into this way of thinking. I also let him know that I'd dated Black men exclusively prior to Robby and all the guys I dated knew this and it wasn't a deal breaker.
This conversation came up again recently with a couple of female friends and they, surprisingly, agreed with my male friend. Someone even said, "Bring that up on a date and rest assured...it will be your last date or a big azz argument for sure."
It was also stated that a black man wouldn't automatically think this way if the woman they were dating was White because they have this Madonna image of White women which doesn't extend to Black women.
Hmmmmmmmmm...
SIP: Are you going to tell them that you stopped talking after that tidbit?
Me: They probably already know.
So yeah...what do YOU think? Have YOU ever had this conversation with a man? What did/do they say? Do YOU think you should keep this kind of information to yourself?
Those of you who are stay-at-home moms and wives...was it a conversation prior to your getting married or did it just happen organically?
I was out and about in the world surrounded by framily, friends and colleagues on set last summer. I rounded the corner and saw someone I love looking VERY distressed and on the phone. I knew they'd recently had a difficult breakup which was taking a toll on their spirit and I made sure they saw me see them.
I crooked my finger.
When the person got off the phone they sought me out and I asked was everything okay.
Framily: That was _____, my ex.
Apparently, the ex had sent my friend a text basically stating they wished the CURRENT person the ex was dating...was like my friend.
B'WHAT?????????????????????????
So I'm standing there with my lips perched.
SIP: And then they called you?
Framily: No...I called them.
And while standing there...my friend's phone rang and they looked down to see it was the ex calling back. My friend was looking so defeated and I told them to send the call to voicemail.
Then...I held out my hand and asked for the phone.
The friend gave it to me and I put it on silent and then put it in my pocket.
SIP: That was a shitty thing for _____ to do. It's pretty gotdamn fugged up actually. Good people don't do ish like that and you shouldn't deal with a piece of shit azz person.
And we kept working.
When we were finished that long, long day...I gave the friend back their phone.
We never spoke of it again.
We were somewhere else recently and the framily member was back in stride. We were sitting with two other framily/friends and the friend brought up the time I took their phone from them and why. Said it saved them from making a stoopit, stoopit mistake that night and that they were able to focus and get genuinely mad at the ex for trying to go there with them. I was very surprised that the friend brought it up around other people and I smiled thinking the friend had healed well from that tragic shit and I was glad I was able to help in such a small way.
SIP can be right sometimes. LOL!
Have YOU ever had to take unorthodox methods to help someone not make a stoopit mistake? Did it work?
During the tragic shooting in Aurora, Colorado, a lot of heroic acts occured.
But not from Jamie Rohrs who was at the movie theater with his girlfriend and their children, a 4 year old and a 4 month old.
During the shootings, Jamie was holding the baby and then:
Meanwhile, Jamie Rohrs, Legarretas' boyfriend, was nowhere to be found. He fled the scene after hiding the baby under a seat near his girlfriend after jumping over the balcony and running around. He told TV cameras that when Ethan began crying, his first thought was that the gunman would come and get him, so he put his child on the floor and left the three people he loves the most to be saved by a total and complete stranger.
So...Jamie bailed.
A complete stranger, 19 year old Jarell Brooks, helped the mother and her children to safety while getting shot in the process.
Apparently, the mother got hit by schrapnel when Mr. Brooks was shot and had to be taken to the hospital too.
So...Jamie shows up at the hospital, drops to one knee and asks her to marry her because she was so brave and got their children out alive.
WITHOUT HELP FROM HIM.
AT.ALL.
Would YOU marry Jamie? Would you consider this one HELL of a red flag?
Last night on FB I posted the single mother article.
This morning I had a message from a young lady who states that she's not a single mother and that she and her child's father chose to have a family together and are PARTNERS.
Basically...she was saying that the "stigma" society places on single mothers is not something she identifies with.
I was like..."okay."
Cuz really...what was I 'sposed to say?
So...what say YOU about what she says? In YOUR opinion...where is the importance in being married to the person you choose to start a family with?
"Are you willing to GIVE as much as you expect to RECEIVE?"
Recently I had an opportunity to do a lot of really awesome people watching. I was sitting in the lobby of this swanky spot watching beautiful people while I was dressed in camouflage shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops. Among beautiful people...the chick in camo shorts and ponytail is a NON-PERSON. LOL!
So yeah...EPIC people watching occurred.
As I was sitting there, this guy sat on the arm of the sofa I was sitting on. He wasn't in my space but he was close enough to talk to me without yelling and he said, "I'm not bothering you am I?"
To which I looked up and said..."Nope. It ain't my sofa."
And dude smiled brilliantly and started trying to chat me up.
The Robinator did something recently which drove me bat.shat.crazy. Instead of going off and arguing about it, however, I simply said okay and kept it moving.
A framily member was at our home when it happened and weeks later she brought it up to me while we were discussing relationships.
She started off by saying how much she's learned about her failed marriage since she's been divorced and that she's learned a few things recently by being around Robby and I.
I waited until she spelled it out cuz you know this conversation could have gone left right quick and well...let's just say I'm learning to pick my battles.
Continue reading "On Golden Pond...at 13700...at YOUR HOUSE" »
I totally hate when I hear women justifying men cheating by saying ignant ish like..."A man is going to be a man. All men cheat. Real women know this."
When I hear that I feel SO.DAMN.SORRY for the poor woman saying it because it's obvious she's convinced herself this is the norm for all so she doesn't have to focus on what SHE'S doing wrong in her relationships if every man she's been with cheated on her. And no...I'm not saying it's her fault he cheated but it IS her fault that she didn't recognize signs early on which would have given her an indication that this dude doesn't want the same things she wants out of a relationship.
I mean...it's a CHOICE right? You can CHOOSE if you will accept this kind of behavior or not right? And...if you accept men cheating as a part of the reality YOU have to put up with...sure...it will always make you a real woman (cuz ya azz ain't a fake woman...o_0) just as it makes me "keeping it real" in my world when I know good and damn well I will NOT be dealing with some ish like that.
Trust me...if my husband cheats on me it's going to go DOWN-T! It will take a mad minute before we could work that shit out. Yes...I'd probably agree to going to counseling, etc. in order to see if we can work past it...but I know me...and I know that shit won't be easy.
I KNOW ME...AND I KNOW THAT SHIT WON'T BE EASY cuz in my world...my expectations are that he'd be FAITHFUL to our vows. I am NOT going to be over here convincing myself he's probably going to cheat in order to lessen the damn blow if he does. When you believe that way...you have no idea how many silent signals you're giving out that you'd put up with that shit. It starts with PRETENDING to turn a blind eye on little things. I say pretending cuz you know damn good and well you saw that ish and you CHOSE to ignore it just as I would CHOOSE to swinging a damn 9 iron in this camp.
SIP: "I luvs Harpo...God knows I do..."
A woman I know stopped talking to me after I was really blunt with her about something. Like...there wasn't a fallout or anything...she just stopped talking to me. She didn't call, didn't write, nothing. Just radio silence.
I understand radio silence.
Since I was so busy I wasn't even keeping up well with family and FRAMILY...I didn't really even notice she'd stopped talking to me.
She called me recently and I was driving so I answered the phone. I was all like...heeeeeeey! I've been meaning to check in with you! How's it going?
And she was like...um...I wasn't talking to you.
And I was like...DA HELL? Why weren't you talking to me?
And she was all like...cuz the last time we spoke...you hurt my feelings.
AAAAARRRRUUUUUUU?????
News to me.
My husband is in the doghouse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why you ask?
Because he accused me of lying and cheating on him...hypothetically.
I've been hit on my fair share as a woman and pretty much felt like I'd heard it all. It doesn't bother me unless it was disrespectful and I usually keep it moving without a second thought.
I was hit on recently in a way that made me think about it...A LOT.
I was walking back to my truck through the parking lot at the Amish Market and a black 745 BMW rolled up slowly next to me. Dude rolled down his window and said, "I thought me and you were going shopping today?"
I was so startled that my head jerked up and I looked him dead in the eye and, for once, I found myself speechless. I mean...there wasn't a damn thing I could think of saying. I mean...sure...I can think of a crap load of stuff NOW that I could have said to him but I was seriously startled that that was how he rolled up on me.
I kept it moving.
But that shit made me go...WOW.
I mean...it's obviously worked for him before right? And that made me go...hmmmmmmmm...
I've discussed with several of my friends who all agree that yeah...old boy prolly gets much play leading with that one in this economy. Hey...even The Robinator was like...
Robby: You should have told him to meet you at Best Buy and got us one of those SONOS CONNECT Wireless Music Streaming System
Me: *SIDE.EYE.OF.DEATH!*
SIP: Hey...he's got a good point. Might as well use it till you lose it.
N.E.WAY!
So yeah...I thought about that A LOT!
Since people are so quick to call a woman a gold digger if the man has more money than the woman and showers her with gifts from the lifestyle he's accustomed to...what should we call the men who proffer up fruits from this lifestyle right from the get go? I mean...this was bold as HELL! There has got to be a word for this right?
Has something like this happened RIGHT OFF THE BAT to any of yall? How'd you handle? Have you ever ended up dating someone who showered you with expensive gifts RIGHT OFF THE BAT and seriously grown to love them?
Have you EVER...taken the shovel they handed you?
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