- Passion: a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept
I have a passion for life. A zest if you will. The kind of drive that makes it so that nothing less than the right way is the only way. I don't have time for silly ish, hood ish, crazy ish or petty ish. I'm simply trying to make dreams a reality.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. A lot of you new people don't know I'm a cancer survivor because I'm not one of those survivors who wear my cancer as a badge. In fact...unless you read this blog or are someone I consider framily...you don't know this about me. I don't use it as a crutch. I don't expect folks to give me a pass because of. I don't need no favors nor do I need some type of acknowledgment that you know and respect my journey as a survivor. Sure...it comes up more these days than ever because one of the characters in "sisters." drops the cancer bomb and folks always ask about that but to be real with it...it's not who I am.
At all.
But...it's why I am the WAY that I am.
See...when a doctor you respect rolls in and tells you that you have cancer...some ish that could KILL you it takes your breath away. I know you can't understand this unless you're a survivor but it truly breaks you down into the most minute part of who you are. You're like a particle. An atom. A simple azz molecule.
You know how in the movies sometimes a cinematographer can handle the camera so you feel all the air has been taken out of the frame and all the main character has is their breath in short and yet long, painful gusts? That's how you feel. You feel as if the room you were previously in, which was full of oxygen and light, is suddenly devoid of both. You listen but don't hear because all you heard was CANCER.
I got the big "K" mama...CANCER.
You don't know much at the time...but you know cancer can fuggin KILL you.
And let's be honest. A person who loves life as much as I do? Death.Is.Scary.
When I was told I had cancer I was alone. I was in a dark place and my mommy was dead. I felt devoid of anything I believed I'd need in order to beat it except I was arrogant enough to still want to compete.
Yeah...with CANCER.
My left boobie is fake. They cut it off and out and made me a new one. I've since had to have work done to the old "new" one because it ruptured and hell...truth be told...that coulda killed me too. But it didn't. Cancer didn't...nor did silicon flowing freely through my body. So you see...not much scares me and there is not much that will ever deter me from doing exactly as I see fit either.
I.DO.WHAT.I.WANT!
Because I've had cancer I live my life to the fullest. I dream big and work hard and fast. I play hard too. I don't think there is ANYTHING I can't do because hell...I beat cancer.
MAJOR.
I don't give a damn what anyone thinks of me because I know that, most likely, no one has ever told them they might die SOON. I'm a good person and I have a good heart. I am one of the most charitable people I know and I would do anything for anybody I consider family, framily or friend who is trying to do the right thing.
It's important to me what God thinks of me and that's about it. I figure if I'm doing things the way He wants...nobody else can complain. I love my husband and my doggies and my people. I love my people man.
October means a lot to different people. To me it's a reminder that I BEAT cancer. It's a reminder to everyone around me why I don't suffer fools. I don't have time hell. I recognized that life is for the living. It's not for catty, petty shit. It's not to doubt yourself. It's not to wonder if you have what it takes. It's for making your dreams come true. It's for loving hard and strong. It's for laughing out loud and letting those you love know you love them. It's for giving a pass to someone you love with all your heart who is going through a bad patch. It's for teaching what you know to folks who seem to give a damn.
Life...is for living and BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABY...Imma get it in. I have a PASSION for it.
If it's one thing you can learn from me...it's that you can do whatever it is you want to do with YOUR life...and I hope you choose to live it FABULOUSLY.
You better get you some of this. Seriously.
Love,
Monnie
P.S. It's also why I love Halloween. Why? October. Simple reasons for a woman who truly lives an extremely simple life.
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