If you know me truly, you know that my favorite person on Earth is my husband. He's down South heading up a program currently and I haven't seen him since mid-August but the days are counting down until I see his face again. Until I'm wrapped in his arms again and my cheek rests on his shoulder. Until I wake every morning to a kiss from him and his knowing and thoughtful perusal which always seems to capture what I'm feeling and what I'm thinking.
I don't know if absence has made our hearts more fonder because we love each other and are in love with each other, but I do know that absence has made us know that we're truly the other's touchstone. I'm not even me without him. Nobody knows me as well as he does and nobody knows how to put me back together when something triggers me into memories that threaten to pull me apart yet again.
I have the type of personality that everyone looks to when they need something. If I'm out and about with people I tend to be the one who finalizes decisions or helps everyone make a decision. My framily, family and friends call me when they are attempting to figure out the major things in their life and I always consider their situation thoughtfully before I offer my opinion. People count on me to have answers or to know where they can find the answers. They count on me to provide a safe landing for them when they are overwhelmed or need a hug or need to sit quiet or simply to have a good meal and share a bottle of wine listening to good music.
And I am able to provide that because my husband constantly provides that for me. That love, unconditional support and loving kick in the pants when I need it.
I was talking to a framily member the other day and we were talking about marriage. He said that whenever he tells people about the best husbands he knows, the ones he looks up to, Robby is one of the two he would love to one day be like. He shared how we were all somewhere doing something once and that I was all the way across the room in a stressful situation and that it was like I FELT that Robby had arrived. He said he looked up at me and my face broke out into the most joyous expression as I rushed over to meet Robby as he was rushing over to meet me. He said he watched how we hugged each other and he knew that none of the chaos in the room was there anymore for either of us and that it was clear that each other was all we needed. He then said that's what he wanted. A woman who looked at him that way and that he felt the same about.
I didn't know what to say other than I prayed that he found that one day and I was struck by how he'd put into words exactly what I'm always feeling about my husband. He is so prominent in my entire being and the world doesn't quite work the same without my being able to see his face and touch him. I'm not the type of woman who can be without her man for long. I'm built for partnership. I'm built to love and be loved. I'm built to take care of my loved one. I'm a simple, simple woman when it comes to what I need. It's him. Always will be. Just him. I can function without him but I'm not LIVING.
It's been a rough week on my spirit. I ran across my family photo albums from when I was growing up and I flipped through them and got deep down into myself and The Robinator wasn't here to make it all better. He tries over the phone and over Skype...but you and I both know they are poor substitutions for the real thing.
The countdown to seeing my FAVORITE face is near. October 9th is right around the corner. I can't wait.