It’s the holiday season. The time of year when lots of people get depressed. Me…I WISH I only got depressed once a year.
I always think it’s funny as hell when people are surprised that I get depressed. “YOU?” They all asked surprised. “But you have everything you want.” Yeah…unh huh.
My husband doesn’t like it when I’m sad. He wants me to always be happy and smile. I with I could be that person for him but, the truth is, my battle with my demons is constant. My heart hurts for so many things and I miss my mother and father more than anything.
I don’t want for anything, least of all love. Even the love of a mother. God saw fit that I have that love from my surrogate mothers, my Louisiana
mothers and my mother-in-law. They all, in their innately nourishing ways show me love regularly. That doesn’t stop the pain in my heart.
My mother was a strong and beautiful woman with a weakness for her children to have a better life than she had. That weakness ended up getting her killed and ruining her children’s chances of being healthy emotionally.
I have friends that get depressed and I tell them what I know to be sure about depression. It is an illness and is very treatable. Me, I have my own version of medicine. I read and write about funny stuff. Laughter, for me, heals my heart quicker than anything which is why I love Robby so dang much. He makes life so fun and carefree. He can have me in a fit of giggles with one raised eyebrow. Or on the floor howling with some of his comments. The lastest one was something about Beyonce. She was on television doing something and I said he wished I looked like her.
Him: You do look like Beyonce.
Me: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sweetie.
Him: When I concentrate real hard and squint.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I’m still laughing at that.
That said, I encourage any of you out there who sometimes feel as I do, as if all the sadness in the world is residing in your body and you can’t move for fear of slipping and falling into the abyss…get some help. Let your friends in and let them be there for you.
Merry Christmas
Happy Hanukah
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