Warning in advance....this post has to do with racism and is wrote by a white person. If your level of maturity is such that you can't discuss this productively...just don't go okay? Okay.
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Warning in advance....this post has to do with racism and is wrote by a white person. If your level of maturity is such that you can't discuss this productively...just don't go okay? Okay.
January 24, 2007 in Society | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
All of my life, my closest friends have been guys so I've been privy to a whole lotta labels as it came to them discussing women. No matter who they are...there was a label for her "type" be she a "wifey," a "brownshugga," or, of course, a "ho."
One of the titles that cracked me up more than anything was the "gold digger."
Now let me describe my male friends to you. Normal regular dudes. Most from middle class two parent households, a few from a single parent household. The cars they had were all normal, regular cars like Toyota Camry's, Honda Accords, etc. Some tried to "trick" out the cars with sound systems and such...but on a broke college kid's salary...that was maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad limited. (Think the cd player with the face plates that came off...that was ballin' for our crowd...ROFL!)
Now...where, oh where could it come into play that ANY WOMAN interested in one of these knuckleheads could EVER be called a GOLD DIGGER? 'Splain that to me please. Please. Cuz I never got it.
I have a guilty pleasure and yall can't tell NOBODY! Seriously...nobody. Yes...it's just that bad so Imma whisper it. Come closer...no...closer....I am addicted to the show "The Real Housewives of Orange County." There...I said it. I'm a bad, bad person. LOL!
On this show there is a PERFECT example of a gold digger. Yessir...Jo. Jo is a gold digger.
Jo is 24 years old and she met this millionaire dude while she was working as a waitress. Jo loves anything expensive and Slade is the person who pays for it. She doesn't even think twice about it. He pays. For everything and her everything is a lotta somethings. A lotta BIG somethings with BIG price tags. HUGE.
When I was home last summer two of my male cousins were discussing a young lady and it was determined by them that she was a gold digger. A GOLD DIGGER. I wanted to ask them...what, pray tell, do you consider GOLD? You live with your mother, your car is 8 years old (not that anything is wrong with an older car...I'm just painting a picture) and you're working an entry level position. WHERE THE HELL IS ALL THIS DANG GOLD?
Let's put them aside and think about normal, regular people like us. Do you think it's possible for someone like us to be labeled a gold digger when we are just expecting men to be men? Let's think about that.
It's no secret that I like nice things as I'm sure you do. But I've ALWAYS liked nice things and I've always HAD nice things. Do you think that when I was dating, men saw my tastes and thought I was a gold digger even though I was buying these things myself????????? Do you think they could have been intimidated thinking their money couldn't keep up?
Interesting huh?
Now Jo is a full fledged gold digger, 10 carat canary yellow diamond, Mercedes, etc. without having had ANYTHING before. Like...nuttin. Nuttin but her good looks and boobages. BUT...good looks and boobages take some money to maintain right?
What man with money doesn't want a woman on his arm that looks good? It's like an "accessory" of sorts for them. I know men with MAAAAAAAAD money who look like a regular dude but when you meet his wife...you can tell flat out just how successful he is as it's expected that the wife "present well."
Interesting huh?
From where I stand I guess it's hard to label someone as a gold digger when you have a normal life like ours. It would probably be argued that Jo can't really be called a gold digger because hey...the man with money sought her out. He used his money to create the woman he felt he should have on his arm and had she not been beautiful...he wouldn't have even tried.
What do you think about gold diggers and their existence in the different income brackets that exist? Have you ever been labeled a gold digger? Have you ever labeled someone ELSE as a gold digger? What is your definition of a gold digger?
January 23, 2007 in Relationships | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBack (0)
I see yall have decided to disrespect my wishes and continued on in this VERY unproductive manner.
It's such a shame because this is SUCH a needed conversation but until SOME white people understand just how sensitive racism still is and can't be discussed by saying "this happened to me too" and until SOME black people stop wanting ALL white people to submit to "white guilt" regarding EVERYTHING...yall are still going to be stuck on stoopit.
All the rehashing and bringing up old shit hasn't done anything except piss me the hell off.
DAMMIT...I AM IN PAIN AND I DON'T NEED THIS ISH!
MY SITE IS NOT GOING TO BE THE VENUE WHERE YOU GO TO LET YOUR MOUTHS RUN WITH ISH YOU JUST NEED TO SIT DOWN SOMEWHERE WITH.
THIS POST WAS THOUGHT OUT IN ADVANCE AND I AM THANKFUL THAT KRISTIN ROSE TO THE OCCASION.
I GET IT. OKAY...I GET IT.
Even if the majority is able to have an open, honest dialogue there are still going to be some idjits that just take it too damn far.
You guys didn't wonder why other people just shut the hell up and stopped DISCUSSING IT? Because, as always when this conversation is brought up in mixed race groups SOMEBODY has to stomp and yell the loudest to be heard and that SOMEBODY almost always is the person with the LARGEST CHIP ON THEIR DAMN SHOULDER. Hence...a PERFECTLY PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATION HAS TO BE DISCONTINUED SO THE LOUDEST CAN BEAT THEIR FUGGIN CHESTS.
Ask yourself...were you accomplishing anything by your continued "attacks" on each other? Nope. You didn't do anything but make me think less of your opinion on this matter. That might not matter to you and hey that's cool...but...this is MY SITE AND I ASKED YOU TO RESPECT IT. YOUR CONTINUED "BANTER" DISRESPECTED ME AND A SLAP IN THE FACE COULDN'T HAVE HURT MORE.
Go away. Stay away. You're welcome to come back but not to this post...not regarding this subject.
Shit. Damn shame that it seems yall need to be SEGREGATED IN 2007! HOT DAMN SHAME!
DO NOT SAY SHIT TO ME. THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN SAY. I. AM. PISSED!You guys are such GREAT friends. HUMPH!
Check this out...a perfect stranger said this about the topic today: http://dcrushhour.blogspot.com/ This could have been SUCH a needed conversation! Again....thank yall for contributing to my having an easy, well rested day. You guys are just GEMS!!
January 23, 2007 in Things That Piss Me Off! | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)
Can I say this without yall getting mad at me? Okay...Imma say it anyway. I'm watching Oprah with Elizabeth Vargus about women having it all and Oprah's hair color is like this ruddy red (much redder than the above pic) and her hair is pulled back off her face. Um....I'm thinking it's not the best look for her. Just my opinion.
January 23, 2007 in Television | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
Soooooooooooo jealous of this young man: http://www.leonardpoteat.30art.com/index.php?menu_id=1000&image_id=37052
He's young and extremely talented. Proud of you baby brother!
January 23, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
A couple of weeks ago Robby and I had gone to bed. He was asleep and I was watching Grey's Anatomy (GO SHONDA!).
During the commercial break a news anchor gave a brief synopsis of breaking news:
Anchor: Breaking news! Eight teenagers stabbed at an area party. Suspect on the loose.
Me: (scooby doo voice) rrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuu?
Me: (outloud to myself but not too loud so as not to wake Robby) Now how in the hell do 8 people get stabbed by one person? I can see one...maybe even two....but EIGHT?
Robby: (who was in a DEEEEEEEEEEP sleep) Must have been a Ninja.
Me: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Loud thump as I fall out the bed.) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I couldn't BELIEVE this boy was dead sleep and answering me with a Ninja conspiracy. *sigh* He's funny even in his sleep.
Needless to say...I had to call Cojoe and tell him. Since he is the only person who truly "gets" my sense of humor...he busted out laughing too.
Cojoe: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Girl...you and Robby are too stoopit!
I can't BELIEVE one person was able to stab eight people. What in the hell were they doing????? I mean come on...Nobody starting running once the first person was stabbed and the intent of the knife wielder was made known? Did they line up to get stabbed or was it really a Ninja with a sword and some of those cool stars leaping through the air flying from sofa to table, to counter...crouching on the ceiling fan?
That said, I have been thinking alot about Ninja's in this past month. I often picture myself dressed as a Ninja doing everyday things such as go to Walmart.
Stranger Customer: WHAT THE HELL? IS THAT A NINJA BUYING FURNITURE POLISH?
Just think of me doing all my household errands wearing a Ninja suit. Mask and all. Not on Halloween...but on a regular day...say a Tuesday.
To me...this is hysterical. Almost as funny as when I wish I had Superhero powers. I'd be a cool Superhero with an awesome costume. None of that hiding who I am. I'd want everyone to know.
Passerby: That's Superhero Monica's house!
Passerby 2: Where, where?
Thank God for my husband and the constant laughter that surrounds him. Thank God!
Smooches! To sleep perchance to dream!
P.S. How funny is THIS? http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm
January 22, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
I have anger issues. Not as much as I used to when I was young and dumb...but still a significant amount. I embarrassed the heck out of myself recently when out shopping with my best girlfriend and her daughter, my God-daughter, by throwing a straight up hissy fit in the shoe department of a sizable department store.
You know how it is when you're shopping for shoes. You walk around touching, looking, stepping over boxes of shoes people didn't want and being harassed by salespeople who think you're going to be a big sale. Well...I like to take my time and pick everything out at once and then give all of them to the salesperson so I don't have to keep getting up and down. I wasn't at a store where I'm a regular (which was probably my first problem) so I used the first person who approached me. I gave him 5 shoes and asked for them in a size 8.5. Simple right?
Yeah...you know me well enough by now to know if I'm writing about it...it darn sure wasn't simple. :)
Well, we sat down and were chatting with another lady who was trying on shoes. We had to move shoes and boxes out of the chairs in order that we have seats...but hey...that's cool. After 15 minutes of waiting, I walked up to the register to ask where Mr. Shoeman was. Oh...he's in the back I was told. He'll be right out. I walk back to my seat. 10 minutes later, I go back again...Mr. Shoeman still hadn't surfaced. I asked the ringer-upper person should I go in the back myself and get my dang shoes. Ms. Ringer-upper said no...she'd go. I returned to my seat.
By this time my foot is shaking back and forth, back and forth. My God-daughter is talking to me and I'm answering her in a responsible adult voice. "No sweetheart, that's not how you pronounce that word although that was a really great try since you didn't know the vowel was silent." But in my mind I'm seeing red spots and there is a gentle roaring in my ears because I'm FURIOUS that I'm still sitting there waiting on Mr. Shoeman to find the fuggin shoes. Outward, I'm smiling at my God-daughter and am casually seated with my legs crossed, but there were signs that only someone as close as my best girl-friend would pick up on. The slight squint to my already slanted eyes. The rapid shaking of my left foot. The way I keep passing my hand over my face trying to wring out the stress that has collected and is about to blow. She sharply looks at me and suggests we leave. I should have left because 15 minutes later Mr. Shoeman shows up with my shoes and the unthinkable happens. I try on the first shoe and it doesn't fit. I'm an 8.5. Have been for a long time. That's the size I fuggin asked for. The shoes Mr. Shoeman brought out to me were all a 7.5. A whole size smaller than my damn foot.
Before I could catch myself. Before I could take the time to think how my imminent behavior would change me in my God-daughter's eyes....I went clean the hell off. I jumped up and kick the tower of shoes across the floor yelling..."I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT! I HAVE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR 35 FRICKING MINUTES AND YOU BRING ME THE WRONG SIZE FRICKING SHOES? WHAT THE HELL IS THE DAMN PROBLEM??? YOU HARASS ME 5 TIMES SO YOU COULD BE THE ONE TO HELP ME....BUT YOU DON'T GET IT FRICKING RIGHT? AFTER I'VE SAT HER FOR 35 DAMN MINUTES???? NOT ONE OF THESE SHOES IS MY SIZE? WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU THINK IT'S OKAY TO BRING A SIZE 7.5 TO A WOMAN WITH AN 8.5 FOOT? IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I grabbed my bag and stomped off kicking shoes and boxes out of my way clearing a path, my girl and God-daughter following close behind. No one has said anything. We walk out of the door and I'm still seething, my blood boiling and at the bottom of the escalator I noticed the stricken look on my God-daughter's face. Aw shit...I just showed my ass in front of my baby girl. *sigh*
"Jazzmin, I apologize for behaving that way in front of you. It was completely uncalled for and not something that I ever want you to do. Ms. Monica has trouble maintaining her anger and I promise to work on it. I'm so sorry." I sheepishly look over at her mother waiting to see anger clouds about to erupt over her face because of my behavior. But wait...THIS HEFFA LOOKS LIKE SHE IS ABOUT TO BURST OUT LAUGHING! She doesn't say anything...doesn't even look at me. We finish shopping and drive home.
The next day, she calls me and is HOWLING...I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KICKED THE BOXES! YOU WENT OFF! YOU SURE YOU OKAY? GIRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLL THAT WAS TOO DAMN FUNNY! Whew...Jazzmin kept asking me...Is Ms. Monica okay? I thought she was going to hit that man. Oooooooh..that was sooooooooooo funny. That poor man looked like he wanted to crawl in a hole. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You are soooooooooooooooo stoopit!
*sigh* Now I have given this heffa more ammunition with which to heckle me for the rest of my life. Go me. She brings it up every couple of weeks or so. Lawd, lawd, lawd. She keeps it up and I'm going to go over to her house and kick her shoes around.
Smooches!
January 22, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
Any of yall doing this yet? http://secondlife.com/
January 22, 2007 in Society | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
Went to the doc today to have my dressings changed and the pain pump removed. Without the pain pump automatically dripping drugs into my incision I get one thing fo sho...PAIN. Yup. Me hurt. Bad.
I tried to not take the Vicodin but decided that's just dumb. LOL! If I hurt...take pain med. Simple huh? Yup. Simple.
Doc also said I need to use the arm or I'd get "frozen shoulder" so I'm using the arm. But I can't pick up anything heavier than five pounds.
All I've been doing is sleeping and reading and sleeping some more.
I've been giddy with joy reading the guest posts. Awesome stuff huh?
The post and comments that gave me the most pause were regarding the azzhole post. There were a couple of times I came close to shutting down the comments on that post but only because I was in pain and consequently in a foul azz mood. I didn't want to get all up in the mix because no one really got disrespectful...but it was getting borderline.
WHY CAN'T WHITE PEOPLE AND BLACK PEOPLE DISCUSS RACE?
I don't know nor do I know the solution. But I know there is a solution. How do I know?
BECAUSE OF THE HARMONY THAT EXISTS IN MY HOUSEHOLD.
I've just had a major surgery and I'm in super pain. I'm upstairs in my bedroom with teddy bears and flowers and chocolates and fruit that my friends and family have sent to me that Robby has accepted and brought upstairs everytime the doorbell rang.
When I wake in the morning it's to Robby helping me sit up so he can empty my drain and record how much fluid was in the drain on a chart. Then, he goes downstairs and makes breakfast and brings it upstairs to me. He sits with me while I eat and then he gives me my medicine because I can't take it on an empty stomach, holding me so I don't have to strain to sit up straight. He makes sure I take the proper dosage of medicine every four hours.
He helps me get in and out of the tub, he helps me get dressed. He makes sure my robe is on the corner of the bed and when he hears me stir...he comes immediately.
Robby feeds me, he calls my family to let them know how I'm doing. He kisses my forehead and he positions the pillows so that I don't pull on the drain that is attached under my left arm.
My mother-in-law has called and fussed at me for "doing too much" when all I did was pick up a rug and my sister-in-law sent me gerber daisies which can always make me smile.
My life, and all that it is and isn't, is a perfect example that there IS a solution to blacks and whites being able to live respectfully within their differences.
ME = BLACK FROM LOUISIANA
ROBBY = WHITE FROM MISSISSIPPI
This little corner of the net right here is paid for by me. If you are here, it's probably because we have something in common or...you just find me batty as hell and want a good laugh. LOL! Either way...everyone will be respected and respectful here. EVERYONE.
Someone asked me the other day why is it that I ask questions and yet never answer them. I don't because I like to see a good debate and I don't want anyone thinking they should side with me (not that most of yall that know me would anyway cuz yall evil and think I'm nuts) and somehow hamper conversation. I do it out of respect for YALL.
That said, I would hope that you also respected my decision to have voices represented here that aren't normally here. I would hope that my decision to look at something from a different perspective would have been seen as a moment to just THINK about something as important as race from a different set of eyes.
RESPECT ME. PLEASE.
I know where the guest poster was coming from and TRUST...had I felt she was a "closet racist" she DAMN SURE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN POSTING ON MY DAMN SITE. Now...I knew her approach would put some of you off...but hey...I just knew that would showcase the intelligence level of the usual suspects even more when yall decided to comment.
Hello new people and welcome. I'm Monica Mingo AKA CreoleInDC and this is the equivalent of the family room in my home. Respect it please.
January 22, 2007 in CreoleInDC | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)
**NOTE from Monnie: This is by my girl Jen. She's dealing with infertiliy as well and, like me, has a lot to say about it.
Taking things for granted...
Not something we often think about but something we all do on a daily basis. Don’t you agree? I for one have taken many things for granted, the biggest being the fact that I would decide to start a family, go off the pill and wham bam thank you ma’am I’d get the big ole belly, and have a healthy baby roughly 40 weeks later. Well, I flushed those pills in January of 2004 and the only reason my belly is big is stress eating (oh, and the hormone shots I feel like I have taken FOREVER).
So it doesn’t happen instantly and you tell yourself that maybe the timing was off, stress was high, blah blah blah. So you become a precision pisser, gotta get the pee on the ovulation stick for the correct amount of time so you can “see your surge”. At this point in my life, I could piss on the stick in the dark with both hands tied up like Houdini. I digress, so you start charting – BBT (Basal Body Temp), Ovulation Tests and cervical mucus. Yes people, I said cervical mucus, do not get all wimpy on me now. You do that for a few months and you decide, maybe you should talk to your doctor. I mean after all, people have been doing this for thousands of years, you can’t possibly be so dumb that you can’t do it right. So you go to the doctor and the tests begin, blood work on various days of your cycle. An HSG to determine that your fallopian tubes are open, some more blood work and they come up with the helpful phrase “unexplained infertility”. You then get handed a business card for a Reproductive Endocrinologist that they work with and off you go.
Well folks, once you are in an RE’s office, life gets crazy. Tons and tons of blood work, we are talking human pincushion, vaginal ultrasounds (wish someone had given me the heads up on those) and people who now know more about you than your own family. They start you off slowly, first on Clomid, they call it the “Clomid Challenge” to see how your body reacts. Well, in my case – not really a response, other than a throbbing headache which doesn’t help when trying to procreate, because you really do say “not now dear I have a headache. You work your way through IUI’s (which looks nothing like a turkey baster, have no idea how they got that name) and you end up doing IVF.
Science is both a scary and amazing thing to me. Amazing that they can manipulate you with drugs, remove eggs, fry em up in a pan with your husbands sperm, and put them back into you a few days later as embryos. Then you wait, you pray you won’t be disappointed again. But, the disappointment comes and you wait for your period so you can get back on the roller coaster.
So here I am, 36 months later trying to muster up the courage to try yet again. I’ll tell you something, I am going to do my best to not take ANYTHING for granted again.
So how do you feel? Is there something in your life you have taken for granted, a person, an event? Was it enough to make you change your outlook? I know mine has changed; I wake up every single day thankful for my husband, family, dear friends, and my health. So even though baby makin’ is turning out to be more difficult than they taught me in health class, I am truly blessed because I see the world with different eyes.
January 22, 2007 in Baby Makin' | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)
“I can even raise the child we'll make Make sure he's loved and knows what God gave us I can teach him how to walk and stand But he needs you to help him be a man.”
Jill Scott... “The Fact is (I need you)"
These lyrics move me every time I hear this song. As a single mother raising a 2 year old boy I am VERY aware there are things I am not capable of teaching him. His father is basically a visitor every now and then, so my relatives pick up the slack. My dad, my brother, cousins, and uncles all show him daily what being a “good man” is.
He LOVES my father, and listens to him more than he listens to anyone. He loves to go over to my cousin’s house and play ball with her husband and their son. He comes to mommy for unconditional love and nurturing.
My son is ALL BOY! He's rough and TOUGH and has the lumps and scratches to prove it. But it’s a good rough. He loves to explore and experience new things even if it might be something that will scare the crap outta mommy. It’s my job to teach him when to not be so rough.
However I ask you all this...As a woman how do I really and truly know how to teach a boy how to be a “MAN”?
Yes my male relatives can help in that department, but the truth is he spends almost all of his time with me. His father lives across the country and his help is minimal. I discipline him, of course, but is the discipline he receives from me the same as the discipline he'd receive from his father?
I hate to admit this, but when I found out I was having a boy I was over the moon ecstatic. Why? Because little girls seem to be so much trouble.
I remember knock down drag out fights with my mom over clothes, hair, and boys. All I could think of was a little girl with my attitude…LAWD help us both. I never once thought did I really know what to teach a boy to help him be a loving, supportive, caring man who can contribute great things to society.
I KNOW what I would need to teach a daughter because I lived that life. But as a strong, overly independent, career oriented black woman I can admit I don’t know how to teach my son the things he needs in order to be that man most woman dream of marrying. So I’ll depend on my male family members and my very close male friends who are like my big brothers to teach him. And hopefully one day I’ll find a man to marry that has all of those qualities I want my son to have so that he can help me in this area.
I know where my heart is as far as my son is concerned. It's him. He's my life. He's smart, funny and absolutely beautiful and I want him to have the best life possible to include all of the lessons a boy needs to be a man.
I ask you again...what should single mothers focus on to teach their sons the art of being a GOOD man? Were you the product of a single mother? Are you a single mother? What lessons do you think are the most important?
January 22, 2007 in Friends and Family | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)
Mr. Code's entry has been moved to a password protected area. If you wish to read it, I shall provide the information for you so you may. It was very entertaining even if it wasn't my type of hype. That said, thanks baby brother for stepping up to help me out. And yes...you DID try. LOL!
http://creoleindc.typepad.com/fablife/
Mr. Code's site is here: Brutha Code
January 22, 2007 in CreoleInDC | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Yall know I change up my hair regimen with the seasons and in the winter I really change it up to accomodate the winter dryness.
So, number one...I keep my hair pulled up so it doesn't drag across my coats and sweaters and dry it out even more causing breakage.
The products I use in the winter are:
1. Phytospecific Revitalizing Treatment - I use this as a pre-shampoo treatment. Use as directed.
2. Phytospecific Intense Nutrition Shampoo - In the shower, wash hair once with this and rinse.
3. Phytospecific Intense Nutrition Mask - Mix with the next product.
4. Phytospecific Multi-Regenerating Creme Bath -Use this mixed with the previous product and put in your hair. Comb through gently with a wide toothed comb.
Then...here comes the fun part. Get in a hot bubble bath or jacuzzi with a good book and a glass of wine. Stay in for 30 - 45 minutes and let the steam give you a good deep conditioning. Get out of tub and back into shower to rinse conditioner out using water as cool as you can stand it.
5. Phytospecific Integral Hair Care - Spray hair with this.
6. Sweet Almond Oil - Mix this with the following oil.
7. Jojoba Oil - Mix with sweet almond oil and massage through hair and scalp. Comb through well and let air dry.
8. Using blow dryer on low setting and a paddle brush, blow hair out.
9. Brush hair into a ponytail secured with ouchless ponytail holder using S-Curl to smooth hairline. Also use S-Curl on your ponytail (do not saturate...just dampen). Seperate ponytail into 4 sections and twist each section. Cover with scarf and let dry. When dry, seperate twists and brush out for a textured ponytail.
I pretty much do this twice a week in the winter and moisturize twice a day (morning and night) with Phytospecific Moisturizing Styling Balm. I wash my hair twice a week because after about three days or so...it gets icky with moisturizing twice daily.
When I wear a knit hat in the winter...I put either a scarf or a satin cap on my hair first so the knit hat doesn't dry it out. By doing this, I'm pretty much assured that in the Spring I'll have a healthy, shiny head of hair.
Now...this might not work for you as it's all according to hair type, but this is what works for me. As with any personal regimen you have to work out your own system.
Another product I use a lot of in the winter is Coconut Oil. I use it as a pre-shampoo treatment sometimes by putting it on my hair for 45 minutes before washing as well as to use as a styling aid. The shine it gives is just amazing!
I buy the jojoba oil, sweet almond oil, and coconut oil from Whole Foods.
Oh...and once a month, use a clarifying shampoo to cleanse the oily residue from our hair. I use Neutrogena Anti Residue Shampoo. I only use it once and then follow it with my normal shampoo and conditioner.
Well...this is what works for me for winter hair. Yall got any suggestions...holla atcha girl.
January 22, 2007 in Black Hair | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)
On Thursday the House voted 356-71 to pass a bill cutting interest rates on need-based student loans.
Now, being the recipient of multiple student loans, the first question that came to my mind is, WHO would vote against that?? Well, some members of the House feel that the additional money should go toward providing grants to poor students instead. Hhhmmm....., sounds reasonable.
However, when you factor in the amount of poor students who don't take advantage of the grants that are currently available and the amount of military personnel who don't take advantage of the GI Bill, I have to wonder if this is so reasonable after all.
Money for education is just like everything else, in my opinion.
If you don't have to put forth the effort and sacrifice something, then it won't be as valuable. I think that having to take out a student loan (or better yet, making the grades to get scholarships... but I ain't talking to you smart folks) is like putting your money where your mouth is. Bottom line, if you believe in yourself enough to know that you will finish school and obtain your degree, you will make the money to pay back the loans. Period. I considered it an investment in my future.
What do yall think? More grants or lower interest rates on loans??
January 21, 2007 in Politics | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBack (0)
Smooches! It's me the one hand bandit. (Cept I'm trying to type with two. LOL! Oh...and that pic was taken with the built in camera on my laptop! COOL HUH?)
I want to let you guys know that I approved this post before I allowed Kristin to post it. I knew it was going to elicit some VERY heated responses and, personally, I think it's healthy.
Racism is a tough subject and I find that there are a lot of white people out there that just don't know HOW to address it. It's like...they can be passionate about any other subject and it not be a big deal...but if they are passionate about the dualities of racism...it never seems to come out right. With Obama running for president believe you me...it's going to be ALL UP IN OUR FACES ALL THE WAY UP TO PRIMARY DAY! TRUST!
I ask you...how did her post make you FEEL? And why did it make you feel that way? What could she have said differently to make her point (which I understand the validity of) without it stirring up those "feelings" we get when we hear someone of another race discussing racism?
How can people of different races discuss racism without it becoming an attack of sorts? I'm serious. There is a lesson to be learned if we wanted to learn it...for all of us.
Tell me AND Kristin how we...thoughtful, intelligent, like-minded people (in LOTS of areas), should discuss race.
Holla atcha girl!
January 21, 2007 in Society | Permalink | Comments (18) | TrackBack (0)
…whether
they are black or white or green (well, the green azzhole I met was in costume,
but she was still an azzhole). This sentiment carries over to the fact that a
racist is a racist and discrimination is discrimination no matter what color the
people involved are or who they are denigrating. Yes, Virginia, racism is
alive and well in our country today and it affects all of us.
I am a white woman who grew up in a middle class household and was able to attend a top flight college. Yet, despite all those advantages, I have been exposed to discrimination and racism. When I was living in Hawaii, there was one day when no white kids went to the public schools. That was the last day of school and it was called Kill Haole Day. On that day, all the non-white kids (who were the majority) would beat the living hell out of the white kids. I also saw white men and women picketing a bank in downtown Honolulu to protest unfair lending practices. Hmmm…sounds surprisingly like a case that recently occurred in North Carolina only it was blacks protesting the unfair lending practices of a bank. Racism and discrimination suck no matter what decade they occur in or who the target is.
Remember
that famous line from MLK Jr’s speech…”I have a dream that my four little
children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the
color of their skin but by the content of their character.” Well, we need to
make sure we all live that way. If it had been a white man that had called
Clarence Thomas "A handkerchief-head, chicken-and-biscuit-eating Uncle
Tom" there would have been an outcry from the media but, since it was Spike Lee
who said it, the quote has slid into oblivion only resurrected through the glory
of Google. When
you are in a position to judge, don’t be the one that denies a young couple an
apartment because their last name is Cruz and not Cruise. When you are in a
position to judge, don’t say someone isn’t keeping it real or is an Uncle Tom
because they follow their heart and their conviction and not their race. Don’t
be the one to call your teacher a racist without finding that her sons-in law
are Black and Hispanic. Before she embraced them, her only questions were “Do
you love my daughter and do you make her happy?”
I’d like to leave you with a quote from the incomparable Elie Wiesel (Romanian born American Writer. Nobel Prize for Peace in 1986. b.1928)… “No human race is superior; no religious faith is inferior. All collective judgments are wrong. Only racists make them.”
So what do you think...Does racism and discrimination tick you off just as badly when its aimed at non-blacks? Politics aside, should Spike Lee have gotten reemed for what he said about Clarence Thomas? I want to know what you think.
* Yes, I said Black and not African-American. There are white, yellow, brown, and black Africans. To be fair, anyone who emigrated from that continent should be called African-American no matter what their color is. It’s such an imprecise term.
**My many thanks to Monnie for asking me to help fill in. Feel better and hurry back dear.
January 21, 2007 in Society | Permalink | Comments (31) | TrackBack (0)
I love being a father. That being said, I've far from perfected the craft. There are times when I'd rather be blogging, (ignoring the crook in my neck and the burning sensation in my retinas) than putting up a telescope for Cameron my 5 year old or having sweet potatoes spewed at me by Tyus- toothless and smiling at 8 months.
Given my past and sometimes my present I often feel unworthy of the title. Being a father is a mix of joy and fear, pride and resentment, but overall it is a pleasure.
I worked as a social worker for a few years-snatching children from the arms of their parents. Young, single and armed with a few psychology courses I had no idea the pain I was causing until I laid eyes on my first son.
I did not know fatherhood would feel this good. It was not something I yearned for; but I guess some people intuitively know how a child possesses the power to change the structure of your heart. People like our Creole Princess, whose hope springs forth purposeful and painful action, whose action gives life to faith, whose faith will bring forth life.
People like that deserve to experience what they already know.
January 20, 2007 in Baby Makin' | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
“How do you write a book?” They ask me eagerly, their eyes alight with anticipation. It took me a minute, but now I've figured out that they’re not talking about writing mechanics. What they really want is a hook-up with the fabled Book Fairy. You know, that sparkly little Rainbow Brite creature who comes along and with a wave of her magic wand transforms all those stories in your head into best-sellers. I try to break it to them gently. There is no Book Fairy. Actually, she does exist, but Stephen King has her and we’re all too scared of him to try to get her back. So, for all intents and purposes, there is no Book Fairy. Most authors will tell you that in order to write a book you have to sit down and, well, write. And as far as it goes, that’s the truth. But what they won’t tell you is that first you have to overcome that thing that paralyzes us all...fear.
Writing is the only thing on this earth that frightens me. It’s my dream and in the end only your dreams matter. I’ve spent the better part of two decades running from the only thing I’ve ever really wanted to do because I was paralyzed by fear. It was much easier to just go back to grad school and get another degree.
Fear is a dreamkiller. How many times have you let your dreams wither on the What If vine? What if they don’t like it? What if I can’t do it? What if I fail? What if they laugh at me? Yeah, all those things could happen, and at some point they probably will, but then again, they might not. My mama used to say, “They can kill you, but they can’t eat you.” For years I scoffed at this colloquialism. After all, we've got Court TV, so we know that in fact they can eat you. But then one day it hit me. Does it really matter if they eat me? After all, if I’m dead, what difference does it make? And that’s what you are if you’re not living your dream. Dead! So why do you care if they eat you?
So embrace the fear. Make it your friend. It'll keep you razor sharp and leery of careless mistakes, and that will propel you to greatness. With that kind of tool in your arsenal you can’t lose.
Note from Monnie: Roslyn Hardy Holcomb, author of "Rock Star" http://www.amazon.com/Rock-Star-Love-Spectrum-Romance/dp/1585712000/sr=8-1/qid=1169324464/ref=sr_1_1/102-1338142-1176106?ie=UTF8&s=books
January 20, 2007 in Being Fabulous! | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)
Scenario 1:
You just had surgery and were on narcotics for the pain when Katrina struck your home town. You get a frantic call from your brother asking that you come to get his 2 daughters. You are 19 hours away in Washington,DC. Word has it that your nieces won’t be able to attend school for months. Your nieces have already seen dead bodies floating. They are waiting on Red Cross to drop water from planes and trying to find out where they can line up for food.
Questions:
Would you have stopped taking pain meds and driven 19 hours to get them?? Would you have taken your 2 nieces in and cared for them as your own, although you have not had any parenting experiences of your own and no family support in the area? Would you have sent them back when you started to visit oncologists and scheduling another surgery for yourself? Would you have sent them back when your pain got so bad that you cried every morning when you had to get out of bed to take them to school?
What would you have done?
_____________________________________________________________
Ever wonder what all the senior citizens are doing to cope with their losses from Katrina?
Scenario 2:
Your mother is a senior citizen. Retired. Living off of Social Security. Takes care of your disabled sister. Used all of her hard earned money that she made as a nurse to pay for the house and to raise 4 kids after her husband died from a kidney disease.
Her house has been paid off for 20 years prior to Katrina. She loses her home in the flood.
She doesn’t qualify to purchase a new home, as she only gets $13,000 a year from Social Security. And besides, she doesn’t want to start over with a new mortgage at nearly 70 years old.
Questions:
Would you have taken out a loan to purchase a house for your mother to live in? Would you have taken out a loan on your newly purchased first home to get your mother's home back in living condition, although it’s not worth that much money? Would you have insisted that she and your sister come to live in your tiny 2 bedroom condo although she hates DC? Would you have insisted that she goes into a senior citizen home against her will? What would you have done?
January 20, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
http://www.hillaryclinton.com/
Hillary vs. Barack is going to be interesting. We could possibly go from the dumbest president ever to one of the smartest.
January 20, 2007 in Politics | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
ME HOME! HOOKED UP WITH A PAIN PUMP AND A DRAIN. BLECH. BUT ME GOTS LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF DROGAS!
January 20, 2007 in CreoleInDC | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBack (0)
"bag lady, you 'gone miss your bus, cuz you got too much stuff..."
erykah badu
How do you represent yourself in a new relationship?
It's almost that time of year. Not Christmas, not New Years, MLK Day is over and done, but it's almost Valentines Day which is the single most loved and dreaded day by single people all over the country. With this in mind the question of who we are when the newness of love springs up comes to mind. New romance is a delicate, wonderful, exciting and frightening thing, and it's the time that most of try to put our best foot forward in the hopes that this will be our last time "out there" trying to catch. It's also a time when many people unfortunately misrepresent themselves.
When romance is new and we are still crossing our fingers that he'll call us when he drops us off from our first date, it's far to easy to give in to what you think it cupid's bow, when instead it could be a kiss of death.
Take for example you ask him coyly what his plans for the weekend are and he tells you that he'll be planted in front of his flat screen watching sports all weekend.
THIS IS NOT SECRET CODE FOR I'D LOVE TO GO TO CHURCH AND BRUNCH WITH YOU!!
He literally means that he's going to be planted in front of his flat screen all day, which is to say that if you don't intend to make a batch of hot wings and sit with him, you might not see him until the games are done.
THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR YOU TO CALL HIM AND HAVE YOUR MOUTH POKED OUT BECAUSE HE SOUNDED DISTRACTED.
If you know for a fact that you don't like sports, hate sports and don't know how to keep your mouth shut during the game, do not try to invite yourself over thinking you are going to get some one on one time.
DO NOT FOOL YOURSELF INTO THINKING THAT THIS SUNDAY IS A ONE TIME EVENT AND THAT HE WILL SPEND THE REST OF HIS SUNDAY'S WITH YOU GROCERY SHOPPING AND RUNNING ERRANDS WITH YOU! HE IS A SPORTS GUY, HE HAS TOLD YOU THIS UP FRONT.
This is a small example but represents something that is very vital, which is communication, talking and listening are to key ingredients in a successful relationship, especially in the beginning when you are both trying to get to know each other.
Express yourself without exposing all of your baggage. Don't talk about what a dead beat your last four boyfriends were, or about that one time someone had to get a restraining order against you, but do tell him that you a very passionate person. Don't get so caught up in the fantasy you have been playing over and over in your head, that you ignore the reality of the man you are dating.
Do pay attention to the man you have on your arm. Listen to what he is saying about himself, his wants his needs and his desires. Listen to what he says about his ex's, his parents and his life in general. Listen and ask yourself if you hear a voice that you are willing to follow.
Do express your desires short and long term. If you know that you want children, and he tells you he's had a vasectomy, know that you two may not be a match. If he asks you to pay and you know that you are old fashioned and don't agree with that type of behavior, speak up! If you like to dance the night away,while doing shots of Patron, and he doesn't drink, don't expect him to change for you. As a matter of fact assume that he won't. Assume that he will remain exactly who he is, and then ask yourself if he's the man for you.
Show him who you are, slowing and with care. Don't be afraid to be yourself because if he falls for the person that you are not, eventually both of you will be disappointed.
Dating and romance can be a wonderful process if we allow ourselves to enjoy it and part of that enjoyment is being true to yourself.
This is Miss Ahmad guest blogging while Monnie gets her hand healed.
January 20, 2007 in For Women Only | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)
***NOTE FROM MONNIE: This post is written by my big brother Frank from: http://fantasybeyond.com/urbanknight/blogger.html THANK YOU FRANK!
My brother who's a NYPD officer told me this story the other day, of this 14 year old kid, who went nuts and stabbed 2 of his friends, his sister and then tried to commit suicide. I thought to myself, what could plague a 10 year old so much that he would be filled with so much rage this early in his life? Of course, its possible he may have been suffering from some severe mental disorder also, but damn.
And then I said to myself its pretty simple actually if you really think hard about it. It's sad, but children are under the same pressures as adults these days. Society's constantly pushing them towards perfection. In some cases, it may even be the parents fault. All these baby boomers grew up with high
expectations of what life should be, then they woke up in middle
age and became unglued. They say that the the term is called "transference." The parents never learned how to deal with their own failures, so they pass their unrealistic expectations on to their kids. They put pressure on them to excel in school, in relationships and it's too much.
It's all unconscious by the parents of course, but inadvertently,
they put these pressures on these kids. The kid sits in the corner
quiet, he wants to appear in control even when he or she is not. It becomes simple psychology. Really, if you're in an environment where you feel you can't fail, sooner or later, that child explodes. I'm currently not a father so maybe I'm a little more simplistic when it comes to my thinking...
Your thoughts?
January 19, 2007 in Society | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
Sup HotNESS? LOL! Imma start calling yall that. ROFL!
I'm having an easy evening. I've doubled up a couple of recipes and have more than enough food cooked for the Robinator and I and we're on the sofa chilling.
My overnight bag has yet to be packed although I know what's going in it. PJ's, robe, slippers, toiletries, magazines and a book for Robby along with some healthy snacks and water for him. Can't have my man eating icky hospital food while waiting huh?
Thanks so much for everyone who called me today. Sorry I wasn't in a chatty mood. Sometimes you just have to chill ya know?
Am I the only person that gets REALLY nervous before surgery? I mean...you hear so much about "accidents" happening that man...you just don't know. I'm the type of person that likes to be in charge of ANYTHING relating to me so letting folks put me under and do stuff to me I don't even really understand is just VERY scary.
And then hey...what if something goes wrong? You ever think of that?
I wonder about crazy stuff like that and stuff like who will take care of Robby and Jaru and Lucy. Or...who is going to be in my house. Crazy huh? Yeah...I know...crazy.
I check in tomorrow at 10:30. My surgery is scheduled from 12:30 - 4:00. I'll be there overnight so they can monitor me prior to my getting to come home to my life.
They are going to remove the implant but can't replace it immediately.
I never told yall the specifics of what has happened huh?
Okay...lemme see if I can break it down.
I've had what is called a capsular contraction. Think of a balloon with a rubber band tight across the middle. The rubber band pushes the air into one part making it bulge and that's how the rupture occured. There was a tear. The rubber band on my implant is my scar.
During my surgery initial surgery, a pocket was created to put the implant in. The pocket is made somewhat bigger than the implant. A fibrous membrane, called a capsule (fancy way to say scar), then forms around the implant. With time (thirteen years for me)...the capsule shrinks and squeezes the implant which makes it hard which can cause it to rupture.
So...they have to go in and remove the implant and remove the scar tissue. But they can't put the replacement implant in right now because the skin needs to be stretched and it needs to heal. So they are going to put in what's called an expander.
The expander is like a deflated balloon. It will be inflated gradually to stretch the skin. In about two months...it will be where it needs to be for the new implant to be put in. So...for two months...I'm REALLY gonna be lopsided. ROFL! Buy hey...I'm still cute!
Don't let the HotMESS of it all fool ya...I'm skrait HotNESS!
Now...on to the surprise. Because Imma be down and out for a minute and one hand typing soooooooooooooo sucks...I've asked a few folks to do some guest writing for me. I've seen some of what they will be writing about and I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited! TOTALLY COOL!
The internet is a HUUUUUUGE place. Just HUGE. So...when I can talk about yall as my friends...it's soooooooo awesome to me. I love yall punk azzes. ROFL! (Can't be all mushy now...we Ninjas just don't DO that!)
The topics over the next five days or so are going to be very diverse and I hope yall interact with the authors as yall do with me. I have warned them that yall are EXTREMELY intelligent and will give dumb ish a hard time. I think they can handle it. ROFL!
I love yall and will see yall soon. Even if I'm just one hand pecking it. ROFL!
(I thought about take my puter with me and seeing if I could find a wireless network...but then I thought about the hell that would have to be paid had someone stole my puter while I was sleep. The hospital would shut down cuz there would be a hostage situation of the worst kind! ROFL!)
January 18, 2007 in CreoleInDC | Permalink | Comments (32) | TrackBack (0)
January 17, 2007 in Sports | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
Over the past couple of days a lot of folks have been asking me a lot of questions about SIP. Well...SIP (Stoopit Imaginary Person) is a very private person...but I'll give yall a brief synopsis.
SIP has ALWAYS been with me. ALWAYS. Just as you have your OWN SIP in your head. LOL!
Think about it. How often have you been in a situation resembling this?:
Idjit: You need to do such and such and such.
You: (I know this heffa DIDN'T..JUST WHO THE HELL DOES SHE THINK SHE IS) (but OUT LOUD you say) Pardon me?
How about this one:
Idjit: What took you so long?
You: (FOOL YOU BETTER BACK UP OFF ME I GOT HERE WHEN I COULD! IF YOU KNOW LIKE ME YOU BETTER GET YOUR BUTT IN THIS CAR AND BE THANKFUL THAT I CAME HELL!) (but OUT LOUD you say) Traffic was backed up on the beltway.
See...SIP is that voice you have that says the things you would NEVER say out loud for fear of trouble jumping off. ROFL!
It's just that lately...I really haven't CARED if trouble jumps off and tend to voice what SIP says more and more. ROFL! The older I get...the more SIP is allowed a voice. Yup...I'm getting eviler and eviler as the days go on.
Here is an example of SIP today. Picture this...
I'm at the hospital where I'm scheduled to have surgery on Friday for my pre-op testing. According to my paperwork...my appointment was for Wednesday, January 17th at 2:30 pm. I have this along with directions and all other information I need to include the fact that yes the hospital has free valet parking for patients who will be hospitalized (it is sooooooooooooooooooo cold here today).
I'm kind of anal about this kind of stuff as I hate being lost or just not in the "know" ya know? I mean...I even have a menu of food I'm preparing and freezing so we don't have to be without home cooked meals while I'm down and out for a few.
Okay...so I go through the check-in process (gotta tell yall a funny story about that by the way) and then report upstairs for my testing. I give the lady my paperwork and sit down. She calls my name and says the following:
Nurse-like chick: According to my schedule you aren't supposed to be here until tomorrow.
SIP: (HEFFA! IF I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE UNTIL TOMORROW I WOULDN'T BE HERE TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Me: No, I couldn't have done it on Thursday because my doctors office said Thursday might not be enough time to have all the results back by my surgery time on Friday.
Nurse-like Chick: Well...we'll see if we can work you in.
SIP: (SEE IF YOU CAN WORK ME IN MY AZZ! I AM NOT ABOUT TO ALLOW YOU TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A DAMN BURDEN BECAUSE OF THE INCOMPETANCE OF WHOMEVER MADE YOUR DAMN SCHEDULE!!!!!)
Me: (face just allllllllllllllllllllllll frowned up) Okay.
Needless to say everything worked out just fine and I'm set to go. If SIP had been allowed to be vocal however I have a feeling I'dda been right back there tomorrow...same bat time...same bat channel. ROFL!
January 17, 2007 in CreoleInDC | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBack (0)
http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/lawmaker-under-fire-for-slavery-comment/20070117103209990001
What do you guys think? Should black people get an apology? An APOLOGY.
Do you think it would do any good? What's the reason for the apology? What will it accomplish? Why are tax dollars being wasted on debating if an APOLOGY should be issued? And what...do you think of this dude's statements?
January 17, 2007 in Politics | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBack (0)
Hee-Hee! I'm starting to REALLY love my new puter! My old behind can "audition" here far away from Simon's biting tongue! ROFL!
Click here: Monnie's 20 seconds....ROFL!
January 17, 2007 in CreoleInDC | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBack (0)
January 16, 2007 in Friends and Family | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
I was asked to ask yall these questions. One was from last week and I forgot to post it...SORRY!
FIRST QUESTION:
You're the roommate in a house where you live with the owner. You burn something on the stove and put the hot pot in the sink to fill with water and cool down. The pot burns the sink. Not THROUGH...but enough to leave a burn stain because the sink is some kind of plastic.
(I'd never heard of a plastic sink mind ya.)
Is it your responsibility to pay for a sink you didn't know was plastic even if you did burn it?
SECOND QUESTION:
Your daughter, age 16, who has been getting out of control for the past couple of years (YES SHE DID SAY YEARS!!!!!!!!!), comes home with a pierced tongue and a nose ring.
You're a single mother and the father only pays child support...he has no relationship with the daughter. You don't like the people she is hanging around and you're worried that she's going to get caught up in some dumb ish. She makes good grades in school.
What would you do?
January 16, 2007 in Advice????? | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBack (0)
January 16, 2007 in Things That Piss Me Off! | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
...hear Beyonce's song and be singing "to the left to the left...you must not know bout me" ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL DANGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG DAY?????
Seriously! THAT SONG GETS STRAIGHT STUCK! Heck...I be in here telling Robby...you must not know bout me...and he be like...what? What I do? I just asked what we were having for dinner!
Me: Just don't get too sure of yourself. I'll put the gangsta lean with it! Humph.
Robby: (Gangsta lean???? Whadahell SHE know bout some dang gangsta lean????) Yes honey...whatever you say...um...how you feeling? Feeling aiight?
Me: "To the left to the left!"
January 16, 2007 in Music That's In My Head | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
January 16, 2007 in Funny As Hell! | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
I KNOW Dr. Rice doesn't. Does she???????
A girlfriend just sent me this article. http://sohh.com/articles/article.php/10671.
I don't know anything about this site or the writers...and I'm not even sure if it's credible...BUT...it does make for VERY interesting discussion I think.
I'd like to point out the name MURDERCAP RECORDS. That's all I'm saying bruh.
What chall think? Ridiculous? Valid? Crazy as hell? Or do they have a point? Holla atcha girl.
January 16, 2007 in Music | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)
January 16, 2007 in Baby Makin' | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
Muse: i said a prayer for you
CreoleInDC: imma need it Muse: sip? CreoleInDC: SIP = stoopit imaginary person Muse: see CreoleInDC: hey...I didn't say it. SIP DID!
me and SIP was listening to the bible experience this morning
he said jesus sure talks alot
and i agreed
:)
LMAO
too damn silly
don't tell my Grandmother okay?
January 16, 2007 in Religion | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
Unexplained infertility is the kind of thing that could put a major strain on a marriage. Seriously. It's TOUGH. The drugs, the money, the needles, the doctors appointments, the "trying on command," the travel limitations, the waiting, hoping, wishing and praying. THE CONSTANT I HOPE IT WORKS THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The tears, the pain, the BREAKDOWNS, the anger, THE ANGER, THE ANGER, THE ANGER!
It's tough. Baaaaaaaaaaaaby. It's tough.
And the only thing that gets you through it is having a strong, loving, viable relationship with your spouse. It's the only thing.
My big brother Frank (who is gonna KILL me if I don't send him this dang check I've had wrote out for two weeks now but I'm just so dang unorganized right now but LAWD...WAIT TILL YALL SEE WHAT HE CREATED FOR ME! WHOOHOOOOOOO!) and his wife have dealt with it too...so he can give me an AMEN if yall need one as well as my girl Jen and my recently pregnant girl Amy. They can ALL testify as to how difficult baby makin can be for some folks.
My husband and I are one. ONE. It's never me against him or vice versa. We are ONE. We are us. Monnie and Robby.
Robby is DEEP in corporate America. He's good at what he does. He's better at what he does because of US. Because of WE. Because of Monnie and Robby. He doesn't stress over anything that would take away from time he focuses on the office. He doesn't worry about where I am, what I'm doing, who I'm doing it with. Nor do I...we don't leave things like that up to chance. There is nothing but full on support from both of us FOR both of us.
It's time folks. Time for us to dissect Linda, Chris Gardner's wife in "The Pursuit of Happyness."
What are the duties of a wife?
Marinate on that for a minute. We'll come back to it.
What are the duties of a husband?
Marinate on that.
What are the duties of a MARRIAGE?
My favorite definition of marriage is "the a close union, blend, or mixture of two things." The "things" in this definition being MAN AND WOMAN (or man and man, or woman and woman...dude...I TRULY don't care).
I know intimately of four unions such as this. My parents, my husband's parents, my surrogate parents, and mine. Yes I know married people but I don't get all wrapped up in the ins and outs of folks relationships like that nor do I put folks biz out in the streets either.
From my view there are lots of things that are DUTIES of a husband and a wife. (Please keep in mind that I'm old skool...your views and mine are prolly different. Cool? Cool.)
Wife:
1. SUPPORT THE HUSBAND.
2. Take care of the husband (cooking healthy meals, providing him with lunches from home) making his doc appointments, etc.).
3. Take care of the home (which includes kids and house keeping).
4. Make the well-being of the husband #1.
5. SUPPORT THE HUSBAND!
Husband (these are STRAIGHT from Robby's mouth mind ya...lol):
1. SUPPORT THE WIFE.
2. Protection (take care of the cars, making sure the wife/family is safe, etc.)
3. Emotional support.
4. Financial support.
5. Carrying heavy stuff. (ROFL!)
6. Being reliable, dependable, stable.
7. TAKE CARE OF THE WIFE.
8. TAKE CARE OF THE HOME.
____________________________________________________________
Back to Linda. Linda was beat down with not having enough money to do the things she wanted to be done. Basic things like pay the tax bill. Pay the rent. Buy food. Linda was tired. She worked a jacked up job while her husband tried to sell the bone density scanners they'd invested their life savings in.
Linda came home in her uniform to her child tired and worn out from working a double shift at the cleaners to provide the basics.
Linda didn't start out that way.
From the appearance, Linda seemed happy and idealistic. She was pretty and FABULOUS. She got tired. Tired to the bone of money issues. Tired to the damn bone.
Chris was trying. But somewhere between trying and failing...they lost the respect to care for each other's well-being.
MONEY.
AND WHOSE JOB IS THE MONEY?????
According to Robby, the job of money is the husband's. Robby, a product of a two parent traditional family wherein his mother didn't work until he was a junior in high school. Robby who has had a good life all of his life. The job of money is the husband's.
Seems to me like that is Linda's position too. THE JOB OF THE MONEY IS THE MAN'S.
How realistic is that in 2007? In my opinion...not very. More households are dual income than ever before. IT'S THE WAY IT IS. Both the husband and the wife must work. ESPECIALLY in the world of today which can include half a million dollar plus TOWN HOMES.
Money ain't no joke.
It was obvious to me that Chris and Linda had lost "it." The disrespect was just too "IN YOUR FACE."
________________________________________________________________
I'm diva-ish. I won't say straight DIVA as I think that word has been used too often by people who only THINK of how a true diva should act. Kinda like people without money...they do things they THINK people with money do...when in actuality...you just look like someone trying too hard. LOL!
Because I'm diva-ish...it would be difficult for me to work a double shift at a cleaners and continue to be the happy bride. Uh...no. BUT...I know that if things ever got that bad it would mean that something is wrong with Robby and therefore I'd failed rules 1 AND 5 of the wife duties which state...SUPPORT YOUR HUSBAND.
A man feels like his world has ended when his woman no longer believes in him. He feels less than nothing. And so should she.
God help me if I ever started thinking of Robby as anything less than my ROBINATOR. God help both of us.
My husband is successful and one day I know he's going to be VERY successful. Why? Because he's already a hero to me. I can't think of a thing he could do that would diminish him in my eyes. He's my hero. He takes care of everything. He takes care of me.
Your relationship will not last if you do not take care of each other and put the other ahead of everything else. Robby's happyness is in DIRECT correlation to MY happyness and CreoleInDC NEEDS to be happy.
I love my husband so damn much and I KNOW I will support him regardless. I might not be working at some cleaners because my skill levels are erra...different...but if my man couldn't hold down the fort...best believe I could and would. I love him and note the respect he shows me with dignity. I reciprocate. In spades.
Do you agree?
What did you think of Linda and Chris' relationship? The dingy, small apartment? The not having enough money to pay the basics? Did you feel Linda's pain? Do you think things would have been different had Linda been strong enough to support Chris throughout ANYTHING? Did you think it was possible for her to stay "starry eyed" about her husband without the BASICS being taken care of? How do you keep the magic that a marriage needs without enough money to not have to always THINK about money?
What is YOUR position on a man's duty vs. a woman's duty?
January 15, 2007 in Relationships | Permalink | Comments (16) | TrackBack (0)
GO HEAD EDDIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Think about it. Think about that scene when his new "sound" was shot down. When Eddie's character didn't say a WORD...and yet...you KNEW EVERYTHING HE WAS FEELING...EVERYTHING HE WAS THINKING! YOU JUST KNEW!
Eddie did the damn thang yall! He did...he really, really did! His and Jennifer's awards were not because of "Hollywood Guilt." They were because they DESERVED IT!
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EDDIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
January 15, 2007 in Movies, Movies, Movies! | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
January 15, 2007 in Movies, Movies, Movies! | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
***NOTE...THE LINK HAS BEEN FIXED! This was HYSTERICAL! Jake did a skit of Effie on "Saturday Night Live." SNL is getting funnier and funnier again. LOVED THIS! (Note the "Brokeback Mountain" cowboys in the audience...Just HYSTERICAL!)
January 14, 2007 in Funny As Hell! | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)
January 14, 2007 in ***HotNESS or HotMESS? (SM) | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)
This is the most FABULOUS thing I have bought in a long, long time! It's called "The Bible Experience" and is the bible on CD. Wait...here is the kicker...it's read with dramatic presence by the likes of Samuel Jackson (who does a VERY good God), Angela Bassett, Bishop T.D. Jakes, Blair Underwood, Forest Whitaker, Yolanda Adams, Denzel Washington, Derek Luke, etc. etc.
I've been listening to this this evening and yall...I'm loving it big time. BIG TIME! It makes the bible VERY exciting!
Now...I'm not a big holy roller but I have read the bible cover to cover twice in my life because I just wanna KNOW ya know. And yes...I believe with all of me in the Lord Almighty before you even ask. I'm just not all that holy rollerish as I feel that people should focus on living morally instead of religiously since everyone's religion is different.
So there. :)
More info here: http://www.amazon.com/Inspired-Bible-Experience-New-Testament/dp/0310926319/sr=8-1/qid=1168822382/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-4265961-2927260?ie=UTF8&s=booksJanuary 14, 2007 in Favorite Things! | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBack (0)
It's Sunday...the Lord's day. Yall mind if I drop something heavy on yall? Hope not.
I have a request for yall from someone who loves reading the comments you guys leave because of the level of intelligence that is obvious from what yall have to say. (In other words...she doesn't know yall nuts like I do. LOL! )
So...K.L. sent me this article and asked me to ask yalls opinions on it. I'll summarize what the article is about and include the pertinent links so yall can check it out yourselves before you comment.
It's about this little girl named Ashley who is in a permanent infant like state because of a disease called static encephalopathy. She will never speak, can't hold up her head, nor roll over on her own just like an infant.
Ashley is currently 9 years old.
When she was 6, her uterus and breast buds were removed so she'd never go through puberty and her parents and doctors agreed to start giving her estrogen treatments to help her not grow any larger than she is now. The thought being that doing this would help with her care as she won't be too heavy to lift and transport.
Ashley can't roll over herself, so she is at a high risk of getting bed sores and the like and has to be rolled on a regular schedule.
Her parents say they removed all her girl parts because she will never need them and it will make her more comfortable to not have breasts and (even though I haven't seen anything about this part and I'm just assuming) a monthly cycle.
Now from what I can tell, Ashley's parents seem to really love her and go out of their way to provide quality care for their child. She's at home...with them...and they take care of her along with her grandparents as they don't trust anyone else to care of her properly. Pretty devoted parents.
Well, the feminists and other critics (many of whom are parents of disabled children) have decried what the doctors and her parents have done to her saying that they have reduced Ashley to being less than human and not worthy of dignity.
Now...one thing that stuck out to me was that most children born with this disability haven't lived past five years of life. Ashley is 9 and has stabilized. So that might indicate that "The Ashley Treatment" is actually helping her live longer. But that just might be my ideology working here.
The critics are saying that the things they have done to Ashley are, in fact, to convenience the caregivers (her parents and grandparents) and have not been done with Ashley in mind. Hmmmmmmmmmm.
Everyone wants to point out how difficult it is to care for a disabled child and in the same breath IMMEDIATELY state that they do it out of love no matter how heavy the child gets to transport.Okay...so...what do you think about this situation? Is Ashley being treated unfairly in your opinion? Have the parents and doctors de-humanized her? Are the parents right in doing what they feel is best for their child? Are the parents wrong for hindering her growth so they can continue to care for her with a certain level of ease? And finally...is it anybody's business other than Ashley's parents anyway and should the critics just shut the hell up if THEY are not the ones caring for and paying for Ashley's care?
CNN article regarding: http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/01/11/ashley.outcry/index.html
Ashley's parents blog: http://ashleytreatment.spaces.live.com/blog/
Ethicist Q & A regarding Ashley: http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/01/11/ashley.ethicist/index.html
January 14, 2007 in Society | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)
January 14, 2007 in Sports | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
This looks gooooooooooooooooooood!
Dark Chocolate Winter
INGREDIENTS:
1 oz Irish cream
1 oz Kahlua coffee liqueur
1 oz Amaretto almond liqueur
6 oz hot chocolate
DIRECTIONS:
Pour kahlua and irish cream into a mug with hot chocolate. Add amaretto then stir and enjoy!
January 13, 2007 in Recipes | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
I love that cell phone commerical where the dad asks his kids what he got for Christmas and he answers "No...Dad got hosed." Cracks me up every single time!
Well that's how I felt today when I loaded up my Apple Protection plan...HOSED. Why? Cuz it cost $249. *sigh* But heck...whatcha gonna do? Dole out the cash that's what!
January 13, 2007 in CreoleInDC | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
http://www.cnn.com/2007/LAW/01/13/boys.found/index.html
You KNOW he did something to those babies...but I'm so glad they are home. This story choked me up. It's good to see a positive outcome in a missing child case. *sigh*
Thank you God.
January 13, 2007 in Society | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
Click here: Christmas Cookie Bake 2006!
I'm trying new things with the new puter folks! Be patient with me as I don't know what in the WORLD I'm doing! This is a video of when some of my FABULOUS friends and I got together to bake cookies for Christmas gifts! We had a blast!
January 12, 2007 in CreoleInDC | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)
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