Tonight I'm going to do it. It's been three months. We should probably be able to talk now. There has been enough time since the breakup to make it so we should be able to talk like we used to. Like it was in the beginning when we had that magical connection.
Wait till he sees me again. Fifteen pounds lighter and finally into that size 14 I've coveted for so long. I did everything the right way. Worked out, ate the right foods...everything...I can't wait to get my man back.
"YOUR PROBLEM IS YOUR DAMN DEADBEAT ASS DADDY! YOU'RE A GROWN ASS MAN JJ. IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO STOP WAITING ON HIM TO BRING YOU SOME DAMN BALLOONS FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!"
God that fight was so silly I still can't even believe it got that bad. I mean I know I can say some pretty hurtful things, but he knows I love him and we've been together for so long. Since high school off and on. Truth be told more off than on...but we've always been there for each other.
"Your mother calls here fifteen times a day. FIFTEEN TIMES! Why? Why Mia? Why in the hell does ANYONE need to talk to their mother that much? She STAYS in our business!"
When I had lunch with his mother after church on Sunday she told me he's doing well. He got that promotion he's been trying for and is looking for a new house. A bigger one I guess, probably closer to his job which would mean closer to me. Closer to me.
"LEAVE MY MOTHER OUT OF THIS! AT LEAST SHE'S NOT ALL UP IN THE CHURCH TWENTY FOUR HOURS A DAY GOSSIPING LIKE YOUR MOTHER. DAMN HYPOCRITE! NO WONDER YOU'RE SO SCREWED UP!"
It's really been more like two and a half months since he's seen me last. There was that night he was upset and came straight to me.
"We could make plans to get married if you'd stop spending so much money on shoes and clothes hell! Shoes and clothes I never get to see might I add! And my boys aint got nothing to do with how I feel! I'm a grown ass man...I can make my own decisions!"
I love that man so much. Can't wait till he sees me again.
"Hello?"
The butterflies in my stomach started flickering and my palms started sweating.
"Hi JJ. It's me. Mia."
"Mia! Hey! What's going on?"
Easy laugh, "Nothing much, you were just on my mind and I had lunch with your mother on Sunday and thought I'd give you a call and see what's going on."
"Well...I guess a lot. But hey...I moved the sofa around the other day and I found your blue-tooth you'd lost a while back. I've been having it in my car and I'm not too far from you so I can bring it by in about thirty minutes okay?"
"Okay."
HE'LL BE HERE IN THIRTY MINUTES!!!!!!!!! THIRTY MINUTES!
And immediately I start running around trying to de-clutter and decide on what I was going to wear and quicker than I could have ever thought thirty minutes would be...he was there.
Standing there looking good, smelling good. My man. My gorgeous man. His key in his hand. I've never taken it away.
"Hey! Wow...you look good! I like your hair that way...those are bangs right?"
"Thanks...yes...got bangs and highlights. Didn't want my 32nd birthday to come without my looking good."
"You know you always look good. Here's your blue-tooth." He sat down.
In his chair.
"Would you like something to drink?"
"Sure, why not?" Looking around. "I'm scared of you and this new plasma. Sounds like you got a good bonus this year." He laughed knowing I always buy myself a nice gift with part of my bonus.
"Yes I did. I've been busting my butt I deserve to see "Grey's Anatomy" in hi-def." I opened a bottle of wine, handed him a glass and sat on the sofa so I could look at him. In my space, in my heart. DAMN HE LOOKED GOOD! I know he noticed how cute these jeans are on me.
"You usually in your pj's around this time."
"Yeah...I know."
"You used to dress nice all the time! Now you only do when you're going to work! By the time I see you you're in your headscarf and sweats! Shit! I don't want to see that all the damn time!"
He winced a little. Sheepishly. But he'd been right. I'll be better this time Lord, I promise.
"Look Mia...um."
"It's okay JJ. We both said some horrible things. It's okay."
Silence as we both sipped our wine.
"So..."
"So..."
We laughed. "You first." I said.
"I was just going to say that I really miss talking to you. You've always been my best friend and ...well...you know...I've missed you."
"Damn...that's what I was gonna say." I smiled deeply, "Your mother says you're looking at new houses."
"Yeah, actually not too far away from here."
"Sounds like it will be easier for us to see each other if need be."
"If need be hunh? Now why would we need to see each other?" He leaned forward.
"You never know." I leaned back...deeper into the sofa.
And that's how it happened. Just as easy as breathing. He and I were...ARE...meant to be together and nothing could ever come between us. His toothbrush is still where he left it, he still has clothes in the closet.
Everything is going to be perfect this time.
When he awoke, he threw his arm over his eyes just as he always did.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"You want some breakfast?"
"Only if it's grits."
"Grits it is then." And I moved to get out of bed.
He stopped me and leaned up on one elbow.
"Mia...you know I love you right?"
"Yeah, I know you do." This isn't good. This isn't right. This is how it always ends in the movies. I can't believe he came here...he did this...WE DID THIS...and he's about to tell me some shit like he isn't ready again.
"Well...erra..."
"What JJ?" JUST GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY! My mind started throwing up walls and I braced myself for it.
"Can we take it slower this time? I mean...can we do it the right way? Last night...I mean...well...it's just that I'd missed you so much...but...well...can we just slow it down and make sure? I know in my heart you're the one, but I also know we have stuff to work on. Your family, my father..."
"JJ..."
"Wait...let me finish Mia. I want us to take some of those therapy sessions together okay? I want us to be right. I NEED us to be right."
I had nothing to say. I leaned over and kissed him tearing up and said okay. Then...I got up and fixed my man some grits.
