Rantings of a Creole Princess

CreoleInDC = DWEEB

Taya = DWEEB 2

Honest = Cool azz chick with something to do.

I had such a FABULOUS time today. First I met Honest and Taya at this restaurant for lunch, Busboys and Poets and met THIS FABULOUS dude, Brian, who was one of the managers:

He was our kinda guy. ROFL! You know everywhere we go we meet the person we should meet...and it seems he does the same cuz why when he was looking for a pain reliever he came SKRAIT to our country behinds? ROFLROFLROFL!

Taya had the Aleve, I had the Advil and Tylenol PM and Honet has the big guns. A HOT MESS!

The vibe at this place was kinda cool and I can definitely see myself coming back. I think my sister will LOVE IT! They have lots of events there and some of them sound right up our alley so I'm certain we'll be back soon.

So after this, Honest had to go get her beauty nap because she was attending a concert gala later. We kissed and hugged and said bye-bye (Why do I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE HONEST????? She is just so dang cool and down to earth with her world traveling behind...I am so scared of her passport stamps. ROFL!) and then Taya and I went to see "Reign Over Me". In a word...GREAT. I really enjoyed this movie. I cried like a baby not once...but TWICE. And imagine my surprise that Adam Sandler was the one that brought that kinda reaction outta me. Can't believe this is the same guy that did ish like "Happy Gilmore" *SIGH*

I LOVE Don Cheadle and I was so happy that Jada didn't irk me. Her roll was small enough that she didn't fug it up but I LOVED her hair in this movie and it looked like it was ALL HERS FO SHO!

Don is so fuggin awesome as always but man...Adam BROUGHT IT! This movie was like "Rain Man" but with black people in it too. ROFL! I liked the fact that they didn't sew everything up neatly in the end. It was a REAL ending...(except for the weird chick part).

Once that was over, Taya and I went somewhere we'd been wanting to go for a long...LONG time.

Insert drumroll here.

WEGMANS!

No need to adjust your screen...yup...it's a grocery store...but not just ANY grocery store...IT'S THE MECCA!

Wegman's is so awesome...it's like a picture book. All the fruit looks hand polished and "arranged" and the deli...lawd geevus. Let's just say I had some damn lobster salad that makes me mad that I didn't get more. *sigh*

So...yup...Taya and I are COMPLETE dweebs for getting so excited over a grocery store but hey...YALL ALREADY KNOW WE COUNTRY!

Smooches Ladies and thanks for a FABULOUS day!

What did you do today? Do you get excited about grocery stores too? ROFL! Really good ones? Did you see that movie? What did you think?

PG-13 and P.OR.N.

I usually wash my hair on Saturday mornings but since I have a full day scheduled I decided to do it last night and I didn't get started until late because Robby and I were talking and laughing at stuff cuz we goofy as all git out.

It takes me about two hours to finish my hair and since I was comfortable downstairs, I just brought my dryers to where I was sitting on the sofa. Yes I said dryers. I use a soft bonnet one for deep conditioning so I can lay down and watch television and the hard one for actually drying it.

So I flipped channels and found the Lindsey Lohan movie where she swaps luck with the dude. I'd never seen it, it's a chick flick, and quite brainless...PERFECT! I watched it while deep conditioning and was good to go. When it was time to dry I felt comfortable I knew where the story was going so I stopped watching and got comfortable with my puter while under the dryer.

About thirty minutes later, my hair was dry and I got from under the dryer and started folding it back up to put away. I was having some difficulty because the front button on mine gets lopsided for some reason so I had to stand up and put some elbow in it. I wasn't paying attention to television and when I turned around...I damn near dropped my dryer. Why? BECAUSE P.OR.N. CAME ON AFTER LA LOHAN'S PG-13 MOVIE! Wow. Just...wow. Yes it was soft p.or.n. But nevertheless...it was p.or.n.

Now, I want to say something here to clear up a few things. I have some very definitive thoughts on intimacy and how casual it has become. I know lots of you already know this. Because I feel this way, a lot of folks think I'm uptight or a prude. A clarification needs to be inserted here as a prude I am NOT. I just don't believe in sleeping around with folks I wasn't in a relationship with. Never did. And I get tired of folks trying to make me feel because they are cool with intimacy being more of a "need" thing that I must be some tightly crossed leg church lady type. Well, that's just not the case okay? And that's all Imma say about that.

Moving on.

How do you feel about this following a PG-13 movie on a Friday night? I want to say the Lohan movie went off at 11:00pm. So say you let your 14 year old daughter stay up to watch it and then after it went off and she was gathering her things to go up to her room...THIS MESS CAME ON!

Dude...I was DONE. I thought there were special channels for this stuff so parents could block the channel.

This disturbed me.

How do YOU feel about it?

Kelicia went to Paris, Texas to protest!

Congrats to Kelicia for helping to make a difference! I'm proud of you Princess! Texas to Release Girl Who Shoved School Aide

www.Shoes.com

(Insert heavenly music here.)

www.Shoes.com

Code: 20OFFSALE
Get 20% off items* on sale at Shoes.com! Use code 20OFFSALE.

http://www.shoes.com/product.asp?p=5038374&variant_id=EC1040740

That's good for her cheating azz!

Now this is messed up as HELL! But I'm glad she got what she deserved. Humph.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/LAW/03/30/texas.manslaughter.ap/index.html

THis made me BAWL AND BAWL AND BAWL!

I am SUCH a punk!

http://www.nbc11.com/news/11456674/detail.html

You have GOT to watch the video. I'm so glad Mr. Hawes is home safe with his family.

Ugh! Just...Ugh!

Couldn't keep my Friday night date with my guy cuz I feel UGH! I didn't eat lunch today (Robby has already yelled at me (by the way...he been yelling at me a lot lately huh? I might have to call his mother huh?)) and I'm laying on the sofa trying to stay outta Ms. Olga nem's way. Yes...it's 6:30 and they are still here. I don't know why. I don't care. (Or do I? Hmmmmmm.)

I wanted to say thank you again to everyone who commented in the PMS post. And I wanted to point out that if you didn't see the R.Kelly post comments...you're missing out on a VERY good conversation.

Something SERIOUSLY pissed me off today. Like SERIOUSLY.

The last time I had to go to the dermatologist was about 4 years ago. Well...I'm having an issue and called my dermatologist (she's the best in the area yall if you're looking for one) only to find that they don't accept my current insurance.

I went to my insurance company's website and found the list of doctors I can use and did a cross reference with the schools they went to to find out some additional information about them. I found four that I would go to. Well I started calling them.

#1: I'm sorry we're not accepting new patients.

#2: I'm sorry we're not accepting new patients.

#3: Okay, I can see you at on Tuesday at 4:30.

Me: Great. What is your address again?

Her: You're a new patient?

Me: Yes.

Her: Oh well the next new patient appointment we have is on April 26th.

Me: WHADAHELL? I'm having a problem NOW. I don't want to wait that long.

Her: That's the soonest we can get you in.

Me: Let me speak to the doctor.

Her: He's not here, would you like to speak to the Office Manager?

Me: YES!

Then the heffa proceeds to put me into voicemail. *SIGH*

DUDE...I was soooooooooooooooo pissed. What the hell is up with having to wait damn near a month for medical care. I have PPO insurance which is rated pretty dang good might I add. What is up with doctors being so damn cockey they don't TAKE NEW FUGGIN PATIENTS???????????????? WHO TURNS DOWN NEW BUSINESS???????

I cannot tell yall how pissed I got. I was soooooooooooo mad that I just had to take it down a notch and chill the hell out. Did it work? Nope...still pissed.

So I told Robby about it and he was like...just go to your doctor and pay the money. (I love how he simplies things.) So that's what I did. I made an appt. with my doctor and I"ll just pay the damn money. Even though I have insurance. I'll pay the damn money.

Has this new patient thing ever happened to you? What if you're in SERIOUS need of a specialist? What in the hell do they expect you to do? Does this annoy you as much as it does me?

It's prolly why my stomach is still doing flips and ish. Just...UGGGGGGGGGGGGH. Damn PIMPLE POPPERS! (By the way...don't you just HATE that Michael Richards stole the joy outta watching "Seinfeld?" I haven't watched it since. Humph!)

THIS is an EXCELLENT post!

Diva DID THAT!

http://divaindemand.wordpress.com/2007/03/29/curves-are-our-friends/#more-221

My boys are BACK BABY! - Maroon 5

Married Folks / Family Traditions

Whenever you bond yourself to someone forever, you tend to develop traditions along the way that are yours alone.  Me...I LOVE THIS!

We have a few, but the biggest one is our summer trip to Sun Valley which I LOVE.  We go to the Mardi Gras Marathon in New Orleans, we host an Easter dinner at our home and we spend Thanksgiving with my surrogate mom.  Fabulous little traditions that are just the flow of what Monnie and Robby are that have just developed along the way. 

A lot of our traditions are small and cute, but they are traditions nonetheless.  Game night, Friday night date night, "US TIME."  The little things we count on to focus on each other and how WE are doing as a couple together.

I can't wait until we are able to develop FAMILY traditions with kids and family.  Now THAT'S going to be FABULOUS! 

What are YOUR traditions that keep you guys grounded?  What do you ALWAYS do that you look forward to doing together?  Not just those with your significant other...but those with the kids and family as well?

Is it difficult to get the older kids still excited about family traditions? 

If you haven't done some of your traditions for a while...why not?  What happened to get you guys off track?  What will it take to get you back ON track?

YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR!

"THE WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!" That's what the crazy woman was yelling at me in Whole Foods because she was embarrassed that she was blocking the entire aisle so none of us waiting could get around her. She got mad/shamed and started yelling at me. "SORRY I WASN'T LOOKING AT YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) LOL! That ish was funny later but I wonder what she would have said had I told her that "Yes honey...it does. MY WORLD revolves around ME and maybe if you did the same...you wouldn't be so obviously unhappy."

When is the last time you stopped and focused on YOU. JUST YOU?

Tell the truth people.

Was chatting with a friend last night and she was telling me about her upcoming weekend. She made me tired just listening to her. In fact...I got annoyed with myself for even asking her. LOL! That's just how long her list was.

Then I asked her..."Well, what are you going to do for you?" And she got quiet.

Sorry if I struck a nerve but hey...you doing all this for everyone else, you're not going to good for much longer if you don't do something for yourself.

One of my FAVORITE people is crlsweetie (heeeey baaaaaaaaaaby!). A few months ago, Shawn and I met her out for lunch, she got there out of breath, looking pretty, and we had a BLAST! She'd found a babysitter for her kids and had been looking forward to lunch with her girls. We spent a bit over an hour together and then...she had to head back to pick up her kids. The transformation, however, from the woman who met us and the woman who left us was awesome. After an hour or so of laughing with me and Shawn's stoopit butts...she looked and felt rejuvinated. Just an hour or so.

Mothers do most of everything for their families. Single mothers do it ALL! More than anything, single mothers need to focus on time for them. You have GOT to do it.

Carving out some time for yourself doesn't have to include spa treatments at an expensive spa. There are LOTS of things you can do if only to go to a Starbucks or a Borders and read a book or flip through a magazine.

Another thing that seems to work is sending the kids to school and taking the day off. DON'T DO ANYTHING. Just chill. No cleaning up, no folding clothes...NOTHING. Just pad around in your slippers and pj's all day and watch mind numbing television. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

What are YOU doing for yourself? When was the last time you did something JUST FOR YOU? Any good ideas on things to do that don't cost much or anything? Do you understand how important this is for your family's wellbeing?

Holla atcha girl.

Discovery Channel: "Planet Earth"

Robby and I watched this show on Sunday. It was AWESOME! ABSOLUTELY AWESOME! http://dsc.discovery.com/guides/planetearth/planetearth.html

When I was a kid, on Saturday afternoons we were allowed to watch "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom" and we were blown away. "Planet Earth" blew that out the water. LOL!

Did you see it? What did you think?

If not, no worries...it's a series and will be on regularly. DON'T MISS IT! And the kids will LOVE IT!

Degree of Separation: HIV

I don't know these people, but know someone who knows them. BUT...this situation bothered me big time. You hear about stuff like this but it's never someone who someone you know actually knew so it comes across as an urban myth of sorts. An urban myth that perhaps you think won't happen to someone like you because it only happens to the poor, uneducated, and drug users.

http://www.nwarktimes.com/nwat/News/51383/

These are the kinds of things that happen that make me so vehement when I say folks need to stop being so casual about intimacy and start focusing on it as the important act it really truly is. Folks research the car they want to buy more than they do a potental intimate partner. Your life or your car?

I'm climbing off my soapbox now. Just the fact that I know someone who actually knows someone that did this creaped me out.

Be careful yall. This ish is REAL.

Have you ever known someone with HIV? When is the last time you've been tested? How would you feel if someone you knew were doing this?

Me LUB Karen!

Friendly Wager?

Fifty cents says Gonzales is out.

Another scandal to hit the administration and a need to place blame and make it go away...election year approaching...and now...THIS ISH? Teen sex scandal ignored by AG, others for 2 years

Anyone wanna take that bet?

"It's all kicks and giggles..." - 23

Robert dropped Adele off at the airport around 2:00pm. She’d be gone for a week and he was looking forward to some quiet time without her always talking or calling him. He was ashamed to admit how much he was looking forward to her being gone, but after 37 years of marriage, it’s the reality of his world.

The Houston day was perfect for golf and he wondered if he should go play a round. He was about thirty minutes from the River Oaks Country Club where he was a member and all it would take was a quick call to get a tee time.

But then again, maybe not.

As was so often in the past ten years, he found himself heading West. He switched to NPR and listened to Marketplace and before the program went to commercial he was pulling into the driveway of a quaint home with gorgeous flower beds and roses all along the fence. He pushed the button on his remote that was in the compartment under his steering wheel and pulled into the garage.

The Mercedes that was usually there wasn’t and he wondered how long it would be that he had the house to himself. He walked in, changed his clothes, grabbed a pair of gardening gloves and went out to the garden in the back yard.

Societal HotNESS or HotMESS: R. Kelly

May I ask yall a (seemingly) controversial question? How do you feel about R. Kelly after the video, the allegations, the charges, the upcoming trial?

Do you still listen to his music? Do you still buy his music?

If you have a problem with him, what exactly is your reason for having the problem?

If you don't have a problem with him, what exactly is your reason for not?

Aarrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuu?

http://www.comcast.net/entertainment/index.jsp?fn=2007/03/29/231861.html&cvqh=itn_halleberry

Me:  I'm a breast cancer survivor.

Halle:  OHMYG!  ME TOO!

Me:  Aaaaaarrrrrrrruuuuuuuuu?????

Sorry...but it seems like she's confessing something different every time a new movie comes out. 

Also...why was she gonna kill the dogs too?  GEEZ?  They prolly sitting there like..."ain't this about a B?????" (stole that from Shell...she too stoopit)

Verizon Bundle!

Might be something you can take advantage of:  Verizon National Bundle

100% HOTNESS!

The One-Touch Any-Media iPod  Uploader. This device, the first of its kind, converts any type of video or audio, including cassette tapes, vinyl records, television shows, and VHS tapes, directly to an iPod at the touch of a button. The device allows you to preserve your audio and video memories without having to rely on a conversion service or risk long-term damage to the original medium, and no computer or special software is required. The converter plugs into any audio or video device equipped with RCA connections and S-Video (standard on nearly all A/V components) with its included audio/video cables. Simply push the record button, and content is converted to digital MP3 (audio) or MPEG4 (video) format, three hours of 320 x 240 resolution video content takes up approximately 1 GB, and is stored immediately onto an iPod (video iPod required for video content). Data can also be uploaded to a USB flash drive or USB hard drive plugged into the converters USB port; it automatically detects if it has attached an iPod or USB key. Plugs into AC.

http://www.hammacher.com/publish/73745.asp?source=NEWS2307&cm_ven=WC&cm_cat=20070329_News23&cm_pla=INQ&cm_ite=73745_Any_Media_iPod_Uploader

HotNESS or HotMESS?(SM): Diane vonFurstenberg

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446157171&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=282574491208767&ASSORTMENT%3C%3East_id=1408474395222441&bmUID=1175185251906&ev19=1:10

Aw Crap...

http://money.cnn.com/2007/03/29/news/companies/tjx/index.htm?cnn=yes

Straight Talk: For women only.

Migraines

How many of you are getting migraines to accompany your cycle these days?  Me.  I'm getting one before and one after.  I don't remember having migraines prior to turning 32 and now they are so bad I have to take Relpax...TWO DOSES...before it subsides.

Gas Cramps and Painful Bloating

Another thing I'm experiencing lately are VERY PAINFUL bloating and gas cramps after ovulation along with another delightful migraine.  I've been noticing that for a bit over two years now and maybe it's been happening longer but I've noticed the pattern because I've been charting for that long and can go back and see what I was experiencing.

Cycle Length

How long are your cycles? Has the length ever changed? What about flow? Have you ever changed from heavy to really light as you got older?

If you get the migraines, how old were you when they started?  What do you take for them?  Does anything help?  Same questions for the bloating and gas cramps.

Do you have any old wives remedies you learned from your elders that you use to help with PMS?  There is a lot of crap out there on the net and I would trust it from yall more.  No telling WHO wrote the stuff on the net you know?

Oh...and yall, please answer. I'd like to know what "normal" women are experiencing as opposed to someone diagnosed currently as "unexplained infertile" as I am. I don't talk much about baby makin anymore...but please know that I continue to live and breathe it 24/7. *sigh*

AND WEEZY I SWEAR TO GOODNESS IF YOU SAY SOMETHING SARCASTIC IN THE COMMENTS IMMA BEAT YO YELLA/RED AZZ WHEN I SEE  YOU THIS SUMMER.

All Rise! The Tuskegee Airmen

It's a good year for Black folks yall. First, Disney decides to create a black Princess and now...the Tuskegee Airmen are getting the Congressional Gold Medal. SIXTY YEARS LATER.

(Okay, okay...sarcasm aside for this one. Imma be good. SIP is being VERY militant however.)

I've talked about my father being a racist often and it's true. He was a product of his environment and added to his strength intellectually and his illness...well...it was kinda special to say the least.

My father used to tell us stories about the Tuskegee airman with an awed look on his face. With respect and admiration. The way he spoke of them was so idyllic that they became mythical legends to me. And he would always, ALWAYS end his stories of how these men were treated when they returned home to the States. After fighting for our country, after some of them were even held captive by the enemy.

There was no internet back then, so the history of Black people had to be researched and passed on by word of mouth because it cetainly wasn't readily available to us in the media or in "our" history books.

It's accomplishments like this that need to be brought front and center and rectified. I don't give a damn about States apologizing for slavery. I truly don't. But it does my heart good to know these outstanding heros of my father and myself, are getting the recognition they deserve. Even if it's coming sixty years later.

I have acknowledged these men all my life as the heros they are. With respect and admiration, I say to them again simply....THANK YOU.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/28/AR2007032802509.html

http://www.tuskegee.edu/Global/story.asp?S=1127695

Warm and Fuzzy

Nothing to say...this just made me smile. :)

I'm going to kick your ABS!

GLADYS LOST TWO MORE POUNDS SINCE I LAST TOLD YALL! GOOOOOOOOOOOOO G-BABY!

Okay...so today I felt like I needed to workout and I did. I put on some cute workout clothes and went down to the basement to the monster that is known as THE ELLIPTICAL. I've told yall how much I hate that dang thing right? Well...I do. I really, really do.

I set it for thirty minutes on Level 4...the fat burner level and got to elliptic-in!

6 minutes later...I was done.

So...I sat down in Robby's recliner and went to On Demand's exercise channel and found these three chicks with FABULOUS bodies who said they would work out my abs for 12 minutes with results.

Okay...I'm game.

THEM HOOKAS TRIED TO KILL ME! I finished it but lawd geevus it wasn't pretty.

I'm prolly the sloppiest mat worker-outer that you've ever seen. Other folks legs are straight and mine are bent at the knee. Folks touching their toes and I can't even THINK about it. But...I'm always dressed cute so that counts for something right? ROFL!

I'm lying on the sofa already in pain so I just KNOW what I'll feel like tomorrow. I hate Gladys. This is all her fault inspiring me and ish. When I can't move tomorrow she'd better bring her azz over and help me out of bed. Humph.

WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? TELL ME, TELL ME, TELL ME! Did it kick your butt getting back in the saddle?

"Double Happiness"

We're watching this movie and it's really, really good. Shockingly so. It looks like it was Sandra Oh's first film. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109655/

But she yelled at me!

I got yelled at in Whole Foods today by this woman who was blocking the aisle with her basket and her person. I'm talking SERIOUSLY yelled at. Ask Shelly...I was on the phone with her and she heard everything.

I let the woman yell because it was obvious she was missing a few but when she took it too far, I shared with her a few choice words. Shelly was dying laughing. Me...I didn't even look around to make sure there were no kids around which I usually do cuz she took it too dang far.

But ya gotta wonder about a woman walking around yelling at folks in Whole Foods. I got pissed and told Shelly I'd call her back and continued to do my shopping. I went on about my way still annoyed...but hey...no biggie. At least I wasn't HER. And then...I rounded the corner and there she was again picking out boxes and boxes of cookies. I didn't say anything but she started yelling again as soon as she saw me. Me...I burst out laughing at her which made her LOBSTER RED MAD. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

So...I came home and told Robby the story. HE FUSSED AT ME! Telling me I shouldn't have yelled back at her. I tried to get him to see that I was DEFENDING myself but all he could think on is that I was in Whole Foods yelling back at some crazy woman and that his wife was better than that and what if the crazy woman was crazy enough to do something bad to me.

Me...I wonder if I am actually better than that. I don't think so.

I don't like people yelling at me. ESPECIALLY WHEN I DID NOTHING WRONG! I have been to the grocery store a gazillion times without EVER being yelled at by a perfect stranger. So why is he disappointed in me? Sometimes my husband really and truly forgets that waaaaaaaay deep down...I'm gully. For real though.

What would you do if a stanger started yelling at you in the grocery store? Be honest. What would you do? Was I really wrong? I mean hey...I was sooooooooo not in the mood and it was COMPLETELY unexpected!

SPEECHLESS!

llThis article made my stomach turn.  There are no words.  Warning...it will mess with your stomach too.  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17779607/from/ET/

This is the guy:  http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/chronicle/4663500.html

Drama-Queen-Messy-Ish-Starter

You know the person I'm about to talk about WELL.  The Drama Queen/ Messy Ish Starter. 

I'm happy to say that none...not ONE of my friends fit this bill.  And that is 100% intentional. 

Family, however, is a whole other thing.  You can't pick em and no matter how hard you try...you can't get rid yourself of them.  You can go for years not seeing them but yup...you'll run into them some where.  At your favorite Aunt's, at  your Grandmother's birthday party, at Deacon Fred's annual crawfish boil/car wash for the youth center.

These he-say/she-saying folks LIVE for the drama and if none is available to dramatize...they have been known to MAKE SHIT UP.  Everyone is doing wrong and they are better than everyone else because...HEY...LOOK AT US!  AREN'T WE PERFECT? 

BFU.

I travel a lot and go to a particular state two or three times a year where a branch of my family tree resides.  I never tell the self professed matriarch of that branch I'll be there.  I don't even blog about it until I've returned from my trip and sometimes...not even then.  Why?  Cuz that particular self professed matriarch is the messiest, most drama creating mofo this side of East Texas.  And...I CAN'T STAND IGNENT ISH!  I was even visiting Louisiana once during a time they were visiting and lawd...I was bobbing and weaving trying to make sure our paths didn't cross. 

Folks seem to think that just because my mother raised me with manners and respect for my elders and because I always attempt to emulate her in my dealings with certain family members that the way I treat them is indicative of how I feel about them.  NOT.  I'm being polite, mannerable, respectful of your age AND of the DNA we share.  If you knew what I was REALLY thinking...you'd cower and if you knew what I was thinking and tried to get sporty with me...family or no family...Imma put my foot in your azz.

BFU.

Until recently, I thought I was the only person with that kind of branch in their family and find, thank God, that it's not just me.  LOL! It seems EVERYBODY has that branch.  That one Aunt who married that dude and they and their kids, your cousins just think they are sooooooooooooooooo much better than everyone and yet...if they sat down and thought about what they contributed aside from the messy azz ways and talking behind folks back...they would see they didn't do a damn thing for "family" and are, in fact, the antithesis of what FAMILY is supposed to be like.  AZZES.

You know the person...the one who supposedly reaches out to you to do something constructive and familial, but it comes out eventually that it was to just be nosey and have an additional opportunity to be MESSY.

Messy Ass Family Member:  So how are things going?  You know we're family and here for you if you need us.

Me:  I'm doing just fine...in fact...FABULOUS!  (Translation...What-cho messy azz want?)

What purpose do you serve?  In my book of FAMILY...none.

Always bringing up old ish.  Well I've decided that YOU are the old ish.  And I've also decided that YOUR life is indicative of exactly what you deserve.  Chew on that for a minute.  Think about what I mean versus what I said.  Wait...you ain't gotta think on it...CUZ I SAID EXACTLY WHAT THE HELL I WANTED TO SAY!

BFU.  RUNTELLDAT. 

I was speaking with one of my Aunt's about this particular person, that I've finally decided to break my silence on, just the other day:

Me:  Hell no, you know I don't like _____.

Aunt:  (laugh)  I don't think she likes herself.

(We both fell out laughing after that.)

Oh...and stay off my fuggin site.  It's not for people like you.  You pretentious piece of nothing.  You're not MY KIND OF PEOPLE.  I don't consider you family.  Never have...NEVER WILL.

RUNTELLDAT2.

What about yall?  Yall got any folks in your FAMILY like this?  In speaking with my friends I find they all have someone like this too.  How do you deal with them?  Do you feel obligated to deal with them?  Or are you just fine with keeping them as far away from you as possible?

HotNESS or HotMESS??? (SM)

http://www.igigi.com/shop/index.cfm?fuseaction=product.display¤tpage=1&Product_ID=412&fromcat=1&disptype=5

From My Inbox

I met my husband when I was in college. He was visiting his cousin in Brooklyn. We dated for a while and when we got married, he moved here but he's never really enjoyed living here.

I've only been to the South with him to visit his family for holidays occassionally and whereas it's nice, I wouldn't want to live there.

We have two kids now and he keeps leaning on me to move our family to the South where he thinks we'll have a better life. I'm a New Yorker, always have been. I love New York and I love the feeling being a New Yorker in New York gives me. I don't think life would be so much better in the South and to be honest, the way I feel right now, I just want to scream no, no, no at him when he brings it up.

He's even started asking out kids questions like, wouldn't you like to have a big backyard and a dog and be able to play outside? To which I don't say much but I think is really low for him to do. I'm beginning to resent this whole thing and it's changing our relationship. I'm a New Yorker. I dn't have a problem with the South, I just don't want to move there.

I know you're from the South so please don't thinkI'm saying anything bad about it area, I just prefer New York.

____________________________________________

All: The South she is referring to is Alabama.

From Dr. Punkin

My sister is an educator and always has been. She's the type of person who nurtures and educates children without even thinking about it...it's second nature to her. Consequently, my nephew is one of the smartest kids I've ever seen and I'm NOT just saying that because he's my nephew.

Dr. Punkin sent me this video. In her email she was soooooooooooooo pissed at the mother of this baby who was in the background interviewing and laughing at her child and I KNOW my sister was LIVID.

What do you think? Does this video piss you off or is it one of those things that all kids try before you correct them? Is this funny as hell or does it piss you off?

I LOVE Wynonna Judd!

Why? Cuz this is EXACTLY what I woulda done! http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Music/03/27/wynonna.judd.ap/index.html

Macy Gray: "Big"

She's one of those folks that has..."that voice." You know. The voice you don't have to think too much about trying to figure out who it belongs to. That can be a good thing. But it can also be a bad thing. With "that voice" it can all start sounding the same real dang quick like.

I like Macy so all Imma say is to just download these three songs as the rest...well...erra...you know. It's just..."THAT VOICE."

#5 - Glad You're Here
#10 - Get Out
#13 - So What

"Philip Michael Thomas Sued Ms. Cleo??????"

Me need new friends. TRULY I DO.

I have two that usually get me in the most trouble. Lesley and Shelly. Now they will both deny it till death...but yall oughta know by now that I don't make this ish up.

I'm sitting here minding my own business writing, (Fun stuff too. WHEEEE!) and trying to figure out what's wrong with Jabber cause me and Diva weren't able to get our nightly chat on for some reason. (User error I'm sure. ROFL!)

So the phone rings and it's Shelly telling me about Heather Mills doing a flip on "Dancing With the Stars." Which makes me think some things that will certainly have me at the gates of heaven begging for a recount on my votes I'm sure.

I changed the channel to see what she was talking about and yup....Heather Mills did a flip. NO COMMENT! :)

Then, Dionne Warwick sings and I say...Dionne need to go sit down somewhere and just fade away gracefully.

To which Shelly replies: "I wonder if she and Philip Michael Thomas still together?"

Me: ARRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUU?

Stoopit Imaginary Person: AAARRRRRRUUUUUUUUU?

Jaru: AAAAAARRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU?

Lucy: AAAAAARRRUUUUUUUUUUUUU?

Me: Shelly...what the hell are you talking bout?

Shelly: You didn't know they were a couple? They been together for a loooooooong time now.

Me: What the hell?

Shelly: Look it up.

Me: (already looking it up) OHMYG! HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS? WHAT THE HELL? AM I THE ONLY PERSON THAT DIDN'T KNOW? http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=philip+michael+thomas+dionne+warwick&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

Now Shelly is DYING laughing because I think I said something like...all I can think of is "Boomerang and Eartha Kitt saying..."Maaaaaaarrrrrrrcus! Purrrrrrrrrrr!"

Yall...how does ish like that happen? PHILIP MICHAEL THOMAS AND DIONNE WARWICK!

So then...I go to Wikipedia and read this outloud to Shelly:

In 1994, Thomas signed an agreement with Florida-based Psychic Reader's Network (later known as Traffix, Inc.) to become the spokesman for the Philip Michael Thomas Psychic Connection. He appeared in television spots and claimed to have met the planet's premier psychics through his "world travels". He dressed similarly to his Miami Vice alter ego, even opening the ads with the phrase, "From Miami Vice to world advice!"

Traffix replaced Thomas as spokesman in favor of Miss Cleo. Thomas sued, alleging breach of contract, and won. In 2002, a New York arbitrator awarded Thomas $1.48 million for improper use of his name and likeness, and an additional $780,000 in interest. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_Michael_Thomas)

And here is our full circle moment folks...where the title of this post came from as Shelly's throwed off azz says: (IN HIGH PITCHED WHAIL no less...)

"PHILIP MICHAEL THOMAS SUED MS. CLEO?????????????"

And there you have it.

*sigh*

Me need new friends bruh. ME NEED NEW FRIENDS.

*sigh*

"It's all kicks and giggles..." - 22

“My mother is coming tomorrow.” Angie said as she flipped through a magazine.

“Would you like me to send a car for her?”

“No, Derek, I’ll pick her up from the airport.”

“Would you like me to go with you?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

“We’ll have dinner out tomorrow night. She’ll be here for a week.”

“Okay. Do you need me to make reservations?”

“I don’t need you to do anything. This was strictly informational only.”

The silence got thicker. Derek closed the file he’d been reading from and looked over at his wife who these days seemed more like a roommate. They didn’t share anything anymore. They lived separate lives and he knew it was because of the mistake he’d made. He remembered the love they used to share and how good it used to be and he knew it was all his fault they no longer had that connection and he knew there was nothing he could do to get it back because he’d tried everything.

“Stop looking at me.”

“Can we talk?”

“No.”

He lay back against the pillows and looked at the wedding photo of the two of them on the fireplace mantle. His dark chocolate skin the perfect contrast to the white sheets on the bed. His body, perfectly chiseled and yet unused, untouched by his wife. For over a year now.

He knew he couldn’t say anything more even though he knew something had to give. They couldn’t continue on in this vein.

Her family was old money and didn’t believe in divorce no matter what. His family, the polar opposite, didn’t believe in marriage it seemed as not many were married. Angie fought her father, the judge, tooth and nail when it came to their relationship. She told her family she didn’t care what they thought of the boy from the wrong side of the tracks. She held her head high and supported him through the trials of medical school. She helped him build his practice into the success it was today. She believed in him and knew the kind of man he really was regardless of what her family and friends had thought.

His mistake would prove them all right and make her look the fool. He wished with all his heart he could take it back. But he couldn’t.

He couldn’t change the past nor did he feel he could change the future from being more of the misery the past year had been. His beautiful, sparkling wife would always see him as slime beneath her dainty Jimmy Choo clad feet and it was all. his. fault.

Spiderman 3

THIS IS GONNA BE THE HOTNESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

From Wanda

OHMYG!  DID YALL HEAR ABOUT THIS?????http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070326/ap_on_re_mi_ea/yemen_refugee_deaths_1

From Sunnyjohn: WHO KNEW?????

Try to stick around till about a minute and a half as that's when it got interesting to me.  This horse dances better than some people!  ROFL!

Just DUMB!

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/03/27/people.eddiegriffin.ap/index.html

Hate Her! - Jennifer Lopez

Shelly: did you see that pic of j lo

HATE HER!

CreoleInDC: i damn near printed it out and drew a mustache and a beard on that heffa

Shelly: Wait

wait

i damn near spit my water all over the place

you dumb

Question for Mother's

Is it really that difficult to look decent after having a baby?  I really, REALLY wanna know.

One of my neighbors is a new mother and she used to be jazzy as HELL!  The last three or four times I've seen her though, she's had on one of her husband's old shirts and what looks like a pair of his sweats and some damn flip flops (IN THE WINTER!).

Now I KNOW it's hard and that her priorities have changed and I only have the women I know personally to go by...but NONE of them heffas ever had a baby and then started looking like Yoda in a damn mumu afterwards.  Yall shoulda seen my sister.  She was the jazziest pregnant woman in the WORLD!  And after?  The same!

It would seem to me to not be a big deal to already have some transition pieces readily available.  I mean you KNOW you're going to go to the hospital pregnant and leave NOT PREGNANT right?  How difficult is it to have some decent looking clothes you can fit into waiting for you?

I just don't get it.  Please school ya girl.  Tell me if this is, in actuality...THE NORM. Is it really that difficult?

HotNESS or HotMESS? (SM) Paula Abdul

Tony Parker Raps

I'm STILL confused.  He RAPS?  In French.  Blame Shelly for this.

"Just Yell Fire!"

This is excellent and FREE! http://www.justyellfire.com/index.php

Get one for a child YOU know.

Does your heart hurt?

I feel like warm crap. Ugh.

Yesterday it started. I had a fever and the glands on each side of my neck were swollen. Ugh.

I was tired as hell and in a foul azz mood. Ugh.

Usually I stay away from people and mostly I stay off the phone. But I couldn't. I had to talk to a friend of mine who I kept missing but who was dealing with some tightening in the chest area.

Had my dang nerves bad.

Did you know that heart disease is the NUMBER ONE KILLER OF WOMEN? That 1 in every 3 women die of heart disease? THAT MESS IS HUUUUUUUGE! http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/heartdisease/a/heartdisease.htm

Well...I knew that, so when my girlfriend complained of such I got evil with her DEMANDING she take her butt to the doctor. Punkette. She always trying to take care of everybody else and not taking care of herself. Imma get skrait Ninja on her.

It turns out that she isn't having any heart issues, thank God, but we still don't know what's wrong so in my opinion we can't rule anything out right now.

There are lots of reasons why you should eat better and exercise but this one seems to be something that women need to see as a very real danger and act accordingly. We can't be half stepping yall. We gotta get out get up and do something.

This mess is serious yall.

One thing I want to point out is that our county has a whole book of activities that residents can participate in and they usually cost a whole lot less than joining a gym would. For example, I saw 8 weeks of yoga classes for like $60 in ours. You should look into your county's Department of Recreation and see what's available for you.

What are YOU doing exercise and healthy eating wise? Do you understand the severity of this? Are you will to make the changes necessary to make sure you're not the 1 out of 3 that will die from heart disease unless changes are made?

Unecessary Story!

I watch GMA every morning. Sometimes I get caught up in the story and sometimes I get annoyed at how they manipulate the guests into trying to get them to cry, etc. Robin is good at asking those caring but nosey azz questions that cause the camera to pull in closer to feature the raw emotion. I'm cool with that. Hey...all of them do it. But sometimes there is a story so UNECESSARY that it just pisses me off.

You can tell nothing too "news worthy" is going on in the world because they announce this breakthrough: DOES DAY CARE MAKE KIDS BEHAVE BADLY? http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory?id=2980675

*sigh*

Now, I guess there is some information that some parents can take from this story, but for the most part...it annoyed and, insulted me. AND I AIN'T EVEN A PARENT! What parent wants to hear this ish as they are up early in the morning getting ready to go to work and getting their child ready to go to daycare? WHERE THEY HAVE TO GO?

What are the alternatives? What damn options do they have? You can't take your kid to the office in most cases AND MOST AMERICANS HAVE TO WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder who thinks up these things?

Who was it that felt this was a good story to do? That telling parents that, hey...your kid might have a better vocabulary but watch out...THEY GONNA BE BAD AS HELL WHEN YOU GET EM HOME? Come on bruh.

There is nothing parents can do about taking their kids to day care. A lot of folks don't have the option of staying at home with them. What do YOU think? As a parent, how did this story make you feel? As a viewer...would something like this have rubbed you wrong?  Was this ish NECESSARY in doing anything besides making parents feel additional guilt when they drop their children off to day care? WHAT GOOD DID THIS STORY DO?

Or...am I just in the same bad mood I was in last night that reading the comments in the Fur post put me in?

OHMYG! TAYA! OHMYG!

This was sooooooooooooooo funny! http://justanotherdayindc.blogspot.com/2007/03/its-baltimore-thang-yo.html

D.E.A.D.