You know the person I'm about to talk about WELL. The Drama Queen/ Messy Ish Starter.
I'm happy to say that none...not ONE of my friends fit this bill. And that is 100% intentional.
Family, however, is a whole other thing. You can't pick em and no matter how hard you try...you can't get rid yourself of them. You can go for years not seeing them but yup...you'll run into them some where. At your favorite Aunt's, at your Grandmother's birthday party, at Deacon Fred's annual crawfish boil/car wash for the youth center.
These he-say/she-saying folks LIVE for the drama and if none is available to dramatize...they have been known to MAKE SHIT UP. Everyone is doing wrong and they are better than everyone else because...HEY...LOOK AT US! AREN'T WE PERFECT?
BFU.
I travel a lot and go to a particular state two or three times a year where a branch of my family tree resides. I never tell the self professed matriarch of that branch I'll be there. I don't even blog about it until I've returned from my trip and sometimes...not even then. Why? Cuz that particular self professed matriarch is the messiest, most drama creating mofo this side of East Texas. And...I CAN'T STAND IGNENT ISH! I was even visiting Louisiana once during a time they were visiting and lawd...I was bobbing and weaving trying to make sure our paths didn't cross.
Folks seem to think that just because my mother raised me with manners and respect for my elders and because I always attempt to emulate her in my dealings with certain family members that the way I treat them is indicative of how I feel about them. NOT. I'm being polite, mannerable, respectful of your age AND of the DNA we share. If you knew what I was REALLY thinking...you'd cower and if you knew what I was thinking and tried to get sporty with me...family or no family...Imma put my foot in your azz.
BFU.
Until recently, I thought I was the only person with that kind of branch in their family and find, thank God, that it's not just me. LOL! It seems EVERYBODY has that branch. That one Aunt who married that dude and they and their kids, your cousins just think they are sooooooooooooooooo much better than everyone and yet...if they sat down and thought about what they contributed aside from the messy azz ways and talking behind folks back...they would see they didn't do a damn thing for "family" and are, in fact, the antithesis of what FAMILY is supposed to be like. AZZES.
You know the person...the one who supposedly reaches out to you to do something constructive and familial, but it comes out eventually that it was to just be nosey and have an additional opportunity to be MESSY.
Messy Ass Family Member: So how are things going? You know we're family and here for you if you need us.
Me: I'm doing just fine...in fact...FABULOUS! (Translation...What-cho messy azz want?)
What purpose do you serve? In my book of FAMILY...none.
Always bringing up old ish. Well I've decided that YOU are the old ish. And I've also decided that YOUR life is indicative of exactly what you deserve. Chew on that for a minute. Think about what I mean versus what I said. Wait...you ain't gotta think on it...CUZ I SAID EXACTLY WHAT THE HELL I WANTED TO SAY!
BFU. RUNTELLDAT.
I was speaking with one of my Aunt's about this particular person, that I've finally decided to break my silence on, just the other day:
Me: Hell no, you know I don't like _____.
Aunt: (laugh) I don't think she likes herself.
(We both fell out laughing after that.)
Oh...and stay off my fuggin site. It's not for people like you. You pretentious piece of nothing. You're not MY KIND OF PEOPLE. I don't consider you family. Never have...NEVER WILL.
RUNTELLDAT2.
What about yall? Yall got any folks in your FAMILY like this? In speaking with my friends I find they all have someone like this too. How do you deal with them? Do you feel obligated to deal with them? Or are you just fine with keeping them as far away from you as possible?
