So yall know I don't do Walmart (unless there is a major emergency) after the Wall Street Journal story came out about them telling their people to vote Republican. Irked me.
Today Prince Ziggy and I left to go to Target and Borders. I'd read on one of them baby sites that PZ should be stacking blocks and I'm like...would be easy for him to do if he actually HAD blocks huh? So off to Target I go to get wood blocks. You know the kind...same ones you had when you were a kid. Same ones I had when I was a kid.
I get to Target...and...um...no wood blocks. Lots of FANCYish blocks...but no wood blocks. Hmmmmm.
I ponder this out loud and a very helpful mother tells me that Walmart has them. Well...I was on the fence but then looked down into those uber big, beautiful eyes and knew, without a shadow of doubt...that I would go to the evil that is Walmart for this kid ANY.DAY.OF.THE.WEEK.
Off to Walmart we go which is only across the street so cool. Prince Ziggy and I grab a basket from the parking lot and buckle up into Walmart.
So...Walmart has changed. A.LOT. The logo is all friendly now. Like a sunburst waving at you all happy and whatnot. Inside...HARDWOODish floors. WHAAAAAAAATTTTT?
GET OUTTA HERE!
Aiight...so...I just get in and pass a few aisles. I go in the direction of toys when I realized toys ain't there no mo...so I start doing the SMART thing and actually looked up to read the signs (makes sense huh?). As I was doing this I noticed a weird dude with his arms INSIDE of his coat and zipped up. Like...his arms weren't in the sleeves. Weird...okay...moving on.
I go all around looking for them dang blocks. I looked up once and see old boy. Noted.
I go down aisle by aisle of the toy section...I looked up TWICE and see old boy. Noted with SIP eyebrow. I take off my backpack and tighten my grip on the basket.
I go to the baby section and am going up and down the aisle and I look up AGAIN and see old boy. OH HELL NO. I LOOK DEAD AT HIS AZZ AND GET MY MACE OUTTA MY BAG then I roll off in the direction of Electronics where I stopped an employee and let him know what's what. As I'm telling him old boy sees me talking and pointing in his direction and he goes the other direction. I keep my eye on him and watches as he takes off his coat. This really alarms me cuz it's like he's trying to change his appearance.
So Walmart dude calls security on his walkie talkie. A security guy shows up IMMEDIATELY with like a secret service earpiece on and as we are telling him what was going on...DUDE IS LIKE WALKING RIGHT IN FRONT OF US TOWARDS US and then cuts down an aisle. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan...THIS FREAKED ME OUT! Security guys calls more security guys and they go talk to old boy. Me? I'm like...man...I'm getting the hell outta here NOW!
And then...security guys asks me...you want an escort to your car?
Me: HELL YES I WANT AN ESCORT OUT!
Security noted I had my mace and I was like...look...I wasn't trying to spray mace in Walmart and whatnot and start no riot...but I wasn't about to be some victim in the aisle either. Security dude laughed and said he totally understood.
He walked me out and waited until Prince Ziggy and I were in the truck with the doors locked and the key in the ignition. I thanked him and wished him Happy Holidays and took my azz back to Target thinking the whole time that all old boy needed to do was walk across the parking lot and there we'd be again.
*sigh*
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPY. UBER CREEPY.
Robby: Well...you did have on yoga pants.
Me: *sigh*
Robby: I'm just saying...you look kinda hot.
Me: *sigh*
So...two things I'd like to point out. 1. Walmart security does NOT play. I like knowing that. 2. You thought this story was gonna be COMPLETELY different based on the title huh? ROFL!
Anything like this ever happen to YOU?
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