February 09, 2007
Last
Saturday, I went to a movie in Chinatown with a girlfriend. It was
super cold and when I get the shivers, it makes my incision hurt.
My truck was on "E" because I wasn't feeling well the day before and didn't stop for gas after running errands.
When I told Robby I was meeting Taya, he said he'd drive me to the Metro so I didn't have to get gas and so when I returned the truck would be already warm.
He asked me a bunch of questions, made sure I had my fandango printout and that I knew exactly where I was going. He told me to be careful half a dozen times and kissed me when he dropped me off and said, I love you and be careful just ONE MORE TIME before he watched me enter the train station.
I'm 37 years old. I've rode the train thousand's of times without any mishaps. I'm fully capable of pumping gas as well as remembering to print out my ticket. I'm smarter than the average bear and Robby knows this. But...he also CHERISHES me.
I'm reading the comments regarding the statement my male friend made and I want to point out that I've kinda heard something like that before. In fact...I was just discussing this because I was thinking about something my surrogate dad told me which made me reflect upon our relationship wherein he thinks his job is to take care of me too. He knows Robby is doing a DAMN good job...but he always makes it known he's here for me and I have no doubt that if something tragic were to ever happen...he'd be right there taking care of me.
Where does this come from I've wondered? Why or HOW is it that here I am...a VERY smart, VERY strong woman...and yet...most of the men in my life have felt or feel the need to take care of me. What is it that I'm exhibiting that brings out the protective side of men because it's always been that way. What aura do I put off to my man that my safety is ALWAYS on his mind and even though I'm grown and not a damsel in distress...he still wants to check if I remembered to turn the alarm on because he usually does it and he's out of town and needs the thought of my being home alone safe?
I guess it goes back to interactions with my daddy and watching the way he took care of us when he wasn't sick. He was THE MAN and probably I took from that the unconscious ability to allow the man to take control. Now as to how I maneuver within this without allowing them to CONTROL me...that's what I'm trying to get at.
How do you let a man be in control WITHOUT CONTROLLING YOU?
My best friend, Cojoe, has always "taken care" of me when I was sick. In fact, a lot of times, he was the only person who knew what I was dealing with and would step seamlessly into the lead role making sure I took my meds or did what the doctors said I was supposed to be doing. And this started when we were in college...so yeah...he wasn't even 20 yet and "taking care" of me. Stepping into that lead role naturally.
I've watched women whom this doesn't come easy for. I've seen them arguing back and forth with a man in a way that they didn't think was arguing but to me...was arguing. And yes...about the simplest of things like what would be the best way to go to get to the beltway. Why is that worth arguing? If he's driving...put on your seat belt and enjoy the fact that YOU'RE not the one driving in traffic. Let him handle it.
Is it because you don't want to be wrong? Do you find it an insult that here you are...a grown azz woman...and this fool doesn't think you can do anything? Has this man proven to you in the past that you can't trust his judgment?
Well...know this...if you're thinking either of those...you have a lot of work to do and maybe...this relationship isn't for you. You have to TRUST your man to take care of you. To CHERISH you and want the best for you and deliver.
My husband CHERISHES me. Now I'm not going to say that sometimes his level of detail isn't annoying...but my level of annoyance can usually be traced to what time of the month it is for me. LOL!
Probably one of the biggest reasons I love my guy so dang much is because I TRUST him with my care. And I know that goes both ways. He trusts that if need me...I could be trusted with taking care of us and I trust that until I have to...I don't really have to worry about much that might cause me stress because my guy has it all under control.
AND THEREIN LIES THE BEAUTY OF BEING A CHERISHED WOMAN.
I know I say a lot of off the wall
stuff...I know my thoughts on men and women are archaic
at best...but
hey...I'm happy in my marriage and solid. CHERISHED.
Princes recognize Princesses. :)
Any thoughts? What does the word cherished mean to you in terms of relationships? Have you ever had it? Would you recognize it if you haven't?
