Rantings of a Creole Princess

Kanye's Short Film "Runaway"

SIP: Say bruh...about this short film...

Lava, Lava...

It's been a good game.  The course was the most perfect it's ever been and this weather is perfection indeed.  Fall is upon us and the coolness on the end of each breeze brought with it a sharpness that can't be denied.

He concentrated on the ball in front of him and then surveyed the sky determining the best route his ball should take to get it to where he wanted it to be.  This was the 18th hole and he'd been playing well all day.  His foursome had changed from a free for all into a cheering section for him.  Strangers all out for one thing.  Their personal best.

And in him...they'd found their hero for the day.

Truth be told, before he turned 30...he wasn't much to look at.  Good thing he'd married at age 28.  Now at age 36 he was tall and lean and dressed with impeccable taste.  His golf attire would be modest on some but on him...it was sexy.  Long and lean.  Chiseled even.  With the grace that comes from being happy and confident.  Everyone saw it and, whereas he knew it came from the love of his wife and children, he allowed others to attempt to discern it's origin.

Adult braces changed that dorky smirk into a chic grin and money afforded him the ease of a good life.

He'd learned to live in the moment...and the moment was upon him.

He wanted to hit the shit outta this ball and envisioned, as most golfers do, wearing a red shirt and pumping his fist at the British Open.  Kicking ass and taking names.  It was upon him.

He'd think of this day often.  The day his life changed.  Morphed really.  Morphed into a zombiesque trance where everything moved around him as he stood still and watched.  His screams silenced by his identity because where he was from...men didn't cry. 

They dealt.

___________________________________________________

"Dude...I can't believe you got a hole-in-one on the last damn hole!  That shit only happens in movies!" 

"You?  Think of how I feel!"  He was so grinned up the corners of his smile lined up with the corners of his eyes.

"Good round guys.  You got bragging rights that's for sure."  Rich, a meaty guy with a third of his original hair, clapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey...would you mind taking a picture so I can send it to the wife?  She'll get a kick outta this too!"

"Really?  Your wife gets excited when you golf?

"Yeah?  Really?  Mine just bitches.  I'm on my way to fertilize the lawn or whatever else her Majesty wants of me for giving me a reprieve to golf this morning." Said Stan.

"Yeah...I know I'm lucky.  She's always been this way.  She loves it when I get to golf."

"You sure the pool boy isn't home with her?"  chuckles Rich.

"Nah...she's home with the kids waiting on me so she can get out the house and shop."

"Pool boy might meet her at the mall for a latte."

"Whatever...who's going to take my picture?" he laughed.

"I'll take it man."  said Bobby.  "I want to take one with my phone too hell.  Your skills give me hope."

He smiled big holding his hole-in-one ball with one hand and the iron he'd used to hit it tossed casually over his shoulders.

Bobby took one, then two pictures of him and passed him his phone.

Striped shirt, traveler's khakis, Nike golf shoes.  Typical golf wear and yet...on him...it looked as if he'd just stepped off a designer's pallet with six assistants making him look just...so.

Rich and Stan walked off leaving Bobby and Justin to catch up.  A beer was in order, of course.  I mean hell...a hole-in-one was practically unheard of on this course.  The ridiculous fees didn't mean you were a champion golfer...just that you could afford to act like one.

To the clubhouse they went. 

Smiling.

Two peas in a pod. 

Happy dudes.

Happy day.

Justin's phone dinged and he smiled looking down.

"Your wife got your text?" Bobby asked?

"Yes.  She's excited for me."

"Wow...that's pretty awesome. "

"Yeah...she's the shit that wife of mine."

His phone rang and Bobby could hear Justin's wife squealing with delight at her husband's hole-in-one.  He watched as Justin's grin got even bigger and how happy he seemed. 

"Yeah honey...it was awesome.  Everything went my way for some reason.  Hole after hole it just seemed right ya know?"

Bobby took a swig of his beer as he listened to Justin's half of the conversation.

"I'm at the clubhouse having a beer with one of the guys I met.  He was a single too and they put us with a father and son.  Pretty cool guys."  he smiled.  "Yeah...he's cool."  Justin glanced down at Bobby's left hand.  "I don't know...hold on..."

"Hey...I forgot we're having a cookout today.  You want to call your wife and see if yall have plans?  We just live around the corner and Simone already has the grill going."

"I'm not married so I don't need to check in with anyone."

"You wanna come?"  He held his hand over the phone like it was a home phone.  Like he didn't want to bother his wife with the semantics of the conversation.

"Sure.  Can she cook?"

"Can she cook?  My wife is Creole.  She's been making roux since she was three years old in a high chair with a wooden spoon."

"Then count me in!  I heard Creole women can burn!"

"Alright honey...we'll be there in a few.  Do you need me to stop and get anything?  Okay.  Lava, lava.  See you in a few."  He hung up.

"Lava, lava?"

"That's something we started saying when we were dating.  We knew we really liked each other a lot but we weren't in love yet.  One day she decided we needed a word for between like and love.  It was hot and heavy by then so yeah...lava, lava started."

"Dude...that's so gay."

Justin laughed.  "Yeah...I guess so but hey...she likes it."

And they headed to Justin's.

__________________________________________________

Bobby hadn't been in a relationship in a long time.  Sure...he'd had plenty of sex buddies but nothing stuck ya know?  He was just ambling about biding his time until THE ONE showed up and caught his attention.  He was a handsome guy so he knew it would happen all in due time but...to be honest...he was tired of waiting.  He was ready for his house to be a home.  To have the same warm body next to him at night.  To be in a love so deep that he didn't want anything else.

Ever.

They pulled up to Justin's house.  Justin pulled into his garage and Bobby parked behind his car in front of the garage.   Justin walked out while putting his keys in his pocket and the front door flew open while a woman and two kids piled out squealing.

"Whooooooohooooooooooo!  HOLE-IN-ONE!  DADDY MADE A HOLE-IN-ONE!"  And she threw herself into his arms as the kids attacked his legs seeming to not necessarily understand why they should be so happy but they were just the same.

"Bobby...this is my family." Justin said underneath the munchy kisses his wife was giving him.

Bobby took it all in.  The pretty wife dressed simply but intentionally and the two adorable kids.  He looked the wife from head-to-toe noting she had the biggest, most beautiful smile and that she and Justin seemed too goofy for words in love.  The kids didn't even know he existed as he surveyed them and she, Simone, straightened up, walked over to him and hugged him.

And it was the most genuine human touch he'd had in a long, long time.  As if he was someone more than the body he was in.  As if she genuinely wanted to know him.

He felt she already cared about what happened to him.

It was a good feeling indeed.

For the rest of the evening he laughed and had the loveliest of times.  Their home?  Beautiful.  Their energy?  Amazing.  The love he sensed?  Palpable.  He marveled at the way each guest seemed at home.  Folks were taking off shoes, unbuttoning their jean buttons and lazing around on their floor as if they'd been there a million times before.  He felt so welcomed into their circle and he found himself imagining this was his life.  His house.  His family.  His friends.

He watched Simone.

He watched the kids.

He watched Justin.

And as he swirled the last sip of his wine in his glass he decided that he wanted this life for himself.  He decided he deserved this life too.

He decided that he could have this life...

...if only Simone were out of the picture.

Because  if she was...he could have Justin, the kids and this life...

...ALL TO HIMSELF.

He swallowed the last sip of wine, shared his thanks and left...promising to return soon and baaaaaaaaaaby...when he returned...he'd have his plan in place to get what should be his.

Lava, lava...

Continuation of Beautiful People I See

I love sneaking up on people and catching them in the act.  By the time she saw me aiming and took her finger down...I'd already snapped.  ROFL!

"Mama Is Tired."

These eyes don't lie.

I think they can...wait...they did!

Happy to be here.

If Morgan Freeman hadn't played God...I imagine he could have.

SPILL IT!

How was YOUR day?

Mine?  Busy and long.  Started shooting "Commitment" this morning.

My Irrational Fear!

Do you have any irrational fears? 

Take me for instance.  I've always had an irrational fear of biscuit cans.  You know like if they don't pop open when you open the top wrapping and then you need to use a butter knife to pierce it along the line.

That has always scared me.

Whatchu got?

Interesting comment...

So...I was reading this article, (8-week-old Muncie baby in Riley after alleged abuse), horrified and then scrolled down to the comments. Someone said something interesting and someone tagged their azzes. Curious as to what YOU think?

"Anyone notice that, for the most part, these battered babies do not have parents who are married? They are babies who the taxpayers support. They get the pregnancy paid for, and after birth, their housing, food, utilities, free clothing, etc. provided by the taxpayers."

"Why does their parents not being married or being government supported have to do with any thing?It is a direct result of THEIR parents!I'm tired of people bashing my generation for all of its wrong doings, which by the way are in comparison no more than any other, when our wrong doings are a reflection of the privious generations parenting skills.My parents weren't the greatest, we struggled and did wihtout alot!I am glad and very thankful that there are programs out there NOW to help my generation so our children don't have to do without!Why hold against us that we utalize assets available?Be thankful your granschildren aren't doing without because you daughter or son may not be able to provide!"

 

What say you?

Look at me! I'm GRRRREEEEATTTT!

Have you ever worked for a company that made you write your OWN performance evaluations?  If you did...what would you write?

Kanye's Fit: HotNESS or HotMESS? (SM)

SIP:  Don't you have a bracelet like that?

Me:  Mine ain't real diamonds though.  His prolly is.

SIP:  To match his teeth, I get it.

Question...

Where is your cell phone RIGHT.THIS.MINUTE?

In your household...

...who takes the clothes to the cleaners?

Question...

Do you think you look good naked?

Clarence Thomas Obsessed with pron??????????

Lillian McEwen breaks her 19-year silence about Justice Clarence Thomas

I'm not surprised.  You?

Question...

What's your alcohol limit for being out and about?  Like...how many does it take you to get a lil' tipsy? 

Convo at 13700

I was talking to a friend recently who is in a new relationship.

Poor thing thought something was wrong with her guy.

See...he does stuff like...make jokes sometimes when she's being serious.

Laughs at his farts.

Chuckles at boobie references.

Asks her crazy azz questions.

Can be a big baby.

Thinks fart jokes are the funniest.things.ever!

Likes to do weird dancing poses when he's naked.

Pulls his underwear up over his navel and walks around like an old man.

ETC.

As we were talking, Robby was in the background playing Marvin Sease.  Why?  No reason...he just felt like it.  He was listening to the words and straight HOWLING laughing.  Like...it sounded like 6 people.  He then came over in front of me and started weird dancing in that way that men do when they are being goofy but since he REALLY can't dance...it looks as if he would look if I was on acid watching him.  I mean...even his mouth was contorting weird-ish-ey. 

One line in the Marvin Sease song was crude as HELL.  Robby laughed and said..."DID YOU HEAR THAT?  AAAAHHHHAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAAA!  MARVIN IS A FOOL!"

I was quiet.

Friend:  Monnie...

Me:  *sigh*

Friend:  It's all of them huh?

Me:  Yup.

Friend:  So...they don't grow out of that silly stuff?

Me:  Nope.

Friend:  Oh.

Robby:  DID YOU HEAR THAT?  LISTEN MONNIE!  LISTEN!  MARVIN IS THE MAAAAAAAAAAN!  YALL AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON MARVIN!

Me:  I gotta go.  He thinks I'm listening to him.

Friend:  I'm sorry.

Me:  For what? 

Friend:  *sigh*  I don't know.

Me:  Yeah...it's like that.

What about YOU?  Is YOUR man a big kid that sometimes drives you nuts with the silly stuff he does?  What is his FAVORITE silly thing to do that you'd think he'd grow out of by now?

Tell the truth and shame the devil!

Do YOU watch Soledad O'Brien's specials/studies on Black people?

What is YOUR opinion of them? 

Who do you think the audience is?

 

Question...

When a man is wearing a suit and sits down...should he unbutton his jacket?

FINALLY SHE SHARES!!!

Roslyn is pregnant!

Thank you God for answering my dear friend's prayers.

Amen.

HotNESS or HotMESS? (SM)

So Talented Dress Violet/Black

From My Inbox...

Hey Monica,

I read your post today about Juan Williams' firing from NPR. I recently went through the archives of major online news sites expressing outrage at Williams' termination and compared them to responses those same outlets made when other prominent journalists were fired for expressing their opinions:

http://thenextweb.com/media/2010/10/21/conservatives-show-hypocrisy-over-contentious-npr-firing/

Anyway, I thought this was something you and your readers would find interesting.

Take care,
Simon

iCan't...

Crocodile blamed for Congo air crash

AR GAL could have done this!

Comprehensive Glossary Of Gifs

Thanks wifey615!

Did yall see Kanye's album cover they BANNED?

DUDE HAS ISSUES. Seriously. You've been warned as the pic is of a s.e.x.ual nature and he is ca-ra-zy.

Remember Free from "106 & Park?"

What say YOU?

...about this cover?

"My Princess Boy"

Your 5 year old son wants to wear girls clothing and dress like a Princess.

You good?

Are you good with your child attending school with a 5 year old boy who is allowed to dress as a girl?

Is it hypocritical if girls who hate dresses are allowed to dress as tomboys?

 

Why?

When someone asks to borrow money from you do you believe you should know why they need the money?

P.S. This was typed with my thumbs.

Question...

Do you have dental insurance?  Is it good?

Tell the truth and shame the devil!

When was the last time you had a wardrobe malfunction while out and about?  How did you resolve?

True or False?

"You can't help who you love."

Tell the truth and shame the devil!

When was the last time you had a piece of fresh fruit?  What was it?

Frozen

What frozen foods do you purchase?

Tell the truth and shame the devil!

Do YOU stretch when you get up in the morning?

When your husband is a DUMB.AZZ!

Your husband sends pics of his private part via text to a woman.

The woman doesn't want his azz and has turned him down repeatedly.

He doesn't cheat with the woman.

Because she wouldn't cheat WITH him.

Basically...your husband is a dumb azz.

What would YOU do?

Scenario...

You live with a man for several years now.

You're not married.

He cheats on you.

Yall break up.

During the time yall were together he had a major illness caused by hospital negligence and almost dies.

He has a pretty good case.

His lawyer contacts you for a deposition.

You call your ex and tell him you'll only do it if he agrees to give you half of the settlement.

He doesn't agree so you steadfastly REFUSE to do it.

Was this reasonable?

Juan Williams FIRED from NPR!

I've side eyed Mr. Williams for a while now for his consistent appearances on Fox sounding like an O'Reilly parrot.

Apparently this has been a source of contention for NPR as well.

Last night old boy was on O'Reilly's show and made some "anti-Muslim" remarks.

NPR felt it undermined them trying to be impartial when reporting the news and since he was recognizable as an NPR employee...they gave him the boot.

I know some who are saying that Juan was reminded he's a Black man by this action and can't do as O'Reilly does.  Now or EVER. 

What say YOU? 

NPR fires Juan Williams over anti-Muslim remarks

Keri Hilson: "Breaking Point" - HotNESS or HotMESS? (SM)

What would happened if this aired HERE?

Funny?

HotNESS or HotMESS? (SM)

HotNESS or HotMESS? (SM)

Vince Camuto 'Aphrodite' Sandal

SIP:  HotMESS!  Why?  Cuz they're on sale.  Grrrrrr...

Randoms of a Creole Princess

Dr. Punkin had me HOWLING recently about online dating and grown azz men who can't CONSISTENTLY spell the simplest words.

I'm watching "Sanford and Son" and laughing my azz off.

It just dawned on me that this show couldn't air today cuz Fred is a major bigot. 

I'm so busy I can't stop because if I do I will get too comfortable and find I enjoy doing nothing more than I enjoy the hectic pace.

I try to keep new stuff on the blog daily but it's seriously getting harder to do.

My house is clean.  And it's pure heaven!  I'm walking around here trying not to move or touch anything.  ROFL!

Know that thigh burn from the computer?  I have it.  Funny thing is I was just about to schedule an appointment with the dermatologist to determine what it was and then...they started talking about it.

What did I do for it?

Started using the laptop desk thingy ST gave me for Christmas.

RED, RED, WINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I started buying the stuff needed for my Halloween costume today.  It wasn't intentional however...I was having a mad dash to get something done and realized I'd passed a Hancock...TWICE...I doubled back and bought what I needed.

I Skyped with Tali 2 tonight.  He is soooooooooooo cute and funny. 

Oh yeah...his mommy was there too.  ROFL.

I'm laughing at Shelly cuz Coley doesn't have homework tonight which means SHE doesn't have homework tonight.  She was so happy it was a scream.

Ester sure had unfortunate features.

We're looking for a tall, dark and handsome lead actor and it's proving to be much more difficult than we ever imagined.  It's the "dark" that seems to be the problem.

Folks keep suggesting actors that are tall, light skinned and handsome.

That's not what we want.

Seriously.

I hope yall appreciate how careful we are regarding the "look" of our actors and the development of them.

I also LOVE using actresses with their natural hair.

RED, RED, WINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a big secret.  :)

I seriously shop a whole lot less than I ever have.

And I'm not feeling any withdrawals either.  GO ME.

I'm wearing wool socks.

My feet are hot.

Ugh.

Did I tell yall my house is clean?  GO ME!

Dinner tonight was FAN-TAS-TIC!

I think it tasted better because my house is clean.

My truck started having some problems last night when I was on a long, dark road.  I got kinda scared if ya wanna be real with it.  My imagination kept picturing me getting stranded and straight JACKED before Land Rover got to me.

I have an extremely active imagination.

Do you see the website header on my site?  I don't and it's been happening for a few days now.

I'm ready to watch the Boris Kodjoe show.

I love meetings on Skype.

Face-to-face but no drive time.

Why did Fred just pull off Ester's wig?

Imma fight Fred.

When I was doing online dating I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever talked to someone who constantly misspelled words and had jacked up grammar. 

Typos are one thing.  Not knowing?  Um...no.

Imma need some DARK SKINNED Black people on The Boris Kodjoe Show.

Tyler Perry was on Oprah today.

I thought there were going to be some new revelations but nah...I'd seen it all on "60 Minutes" before.  In fact...there was even footage from that "60 Minutes" segment. 

He did have some revelations about trying to be with a woman but hey...that wasn't a stretch for the imagination ya know.  Same as a woman who was molested would have.

I was kinda turned off by the fact that he started tearing up after only like 5 minutes though.

Yes I'm going to see his movie.

I can't help myself.

I'm addicted.

That ALDI store?  The kid won't be shopping there unless there were serious dire straights 'round these here parts.

I'm a food snob.

The last pair of shoes I bought were by a designer I was unfamiliar with but yeah...they're hot.

I'm SO unfamiliar with the designer I can't even tell you the name right now.  All I remember is it's a dude's name and Erica B. might remember cuz I told her via text. 

Imma post the shoes cuz they weren't expensive AT.ALL and folks seem to like them as a replacement for some seriously FIYA shoes I forgot to pack to take with me to Chicago.

I don't like preachers who do all that whooping and hollering. 

What's going on random with you?

 

 

From My Inbox...

You're the mother of the 4 year old daughter.

You're hanging out with a female friend.

The friend says about you're daughter, "She sure is a sexy little thing."

You good?

From My FB Inbox...

Subject was:  Bey and Jay's Daughter

SIP:  Imma fight yall for messing with Bey and Jay.  You know I LURVES me some them!  Humph!

Bey and Jay Preggo...So they say...

Beyonce's pregnant! Beyonce Knowles and Jay-Z expecting their first baby: report

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/10/20/2010-10-20_beyonce_knowles_wife_of_rapper_jayz_is_pregnant_with_first_baby_report.html#ixzz12vtHr9Qo

Racism Question...

Is this racist?

I went down this morning to sign up my Dog for welfare.

At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare".

So I explained to her that my Dog is black, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and has no frigging clue who his Daddy is.

So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify...

My Dog gets his first check Friday.

Is this a great country or what?

Or...is it no more racist than redneck jokes?

Virginia Beach GOP chairman agrees to resign over racist e-mail

Ms. Anita Hill CONTINUES to be a class act!

So...what did YOU have to say about Clarence Thomas' tea party wife calling Ms. Hill and asking for a GOT.DAMN apology? 

Clarence Thomas’s Wife Asks Anita Hill for Apology

My FAVORITE part? 

Ms. Hill wrote:  “And one can imagine that she is guided by her own romantic interest in her husband when she assumes that other women find him attractive as well.”

Seriously...Clarence and Virginia should defect to Venus or something.

Kanye's Diamond Teeth Convo

Shelly:  Did you see your boy Kanye got his bottom teeth replaced with diamonds?

Me:  AAARRRRRROOOOOO????

Shelly:  Yeah.  Diamonds.

Me:  Da hell?  See...just when you feel comfortable enough admitting you're a STAN he goes a bit further than you're comfy with.

Shelly:  Yeah...dude is a bit off.

Me:  I wonder what Beyonce and Jay Z 'nem be saying to him?  You know they're all friends.

Shelly:  Yeah...he's like the oneblackman of their crew.

Me:  I'm telling.

Aldi Grocery Store

This place just opened near us. Are you familiar? I took a look inside and didn't recognize many of the brands and thought that was a bit odd.

Halloween!

I passed by a Hancock and doubled back to run in and get some of the stuff I need for my Halloween costume! Are you dressing this year? As what?

Tell the truth and shame the devil!

"For Colored Girls Who Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Wasn't Enough"

Wht did YOU think of the book when YOU read it?  DID you read it?  Did you connect with it?  Do you consider it the Black woman's BIBLE??????????????