I feel the need to weigh in...
I think it's extremely important for the child to know both sides of his family.
HOWEVER...I understand there is a time and a place.
I think an Aunt can be involved in a child's life without it having to take place during major holidays when it might cause a MAJOR issue.
I think it's the father's place to formally introduce his child to the family...NOT the Aunt.
I don't think the child should call the UNCLE daddy. o_0.
The kid is 5. It won't matter to him if he has Thanksgiving with his maternal or paternal family at this age. As his favorite Aunt...EVERY.SINGLE.OTHER.DAY can be special.
Until such a time as either A.) The father and stepmother step up and be better, bigger people....OR B.) The child is old enough to ask questions he wants and DESERVES answers to.
If you don't care for family members don't invite them over. ALL FAMILY AIN'T GOOD FAMILY.
Period.
Do I think old girl was being messy? Hmmmmm...good question. I don't think that was her intent but I do think she got to the point where she didn't give a rat's azz what two people she doesn't care for thought.
And I understand that.
Why?
I DO WHAT I WANT!