I saw my neighbor putting out the trash this morning holding her baby on her hip. Her husband lives there. I have seen her put out the trash on several occasions and it makes me go...Hmmmmmmm. I know these people and know that her husband is an azzhole so I wasn't surprised.
Robby puts out the garbage at 13700. He puts out the recycling too. He feeds the dogs, walks them and does the "outside" stuff. He's a neat freak so his man-cave is never dirty. When he comes home from the office he takes off his suit and hangs it up properly. He puts his shirt in the drycleaning basket and puts away his shoes after he has inserted the cedar trees to absorb the excess moisture.
In our house...I'm the messy one. If you see a pile of something stacked up...it's mine. LOL! I ain't gonna EVEN front.
We don't get to spend very much time together during the week because of our schedules so we have adopted certain things to make sure we have the max time to hang.
I cook dinner, he puts away the leftovers. The dishes are rinsed but he doesn't put them in the dishwasher til morning because he gets up before goodness and I get up waaaaaaaaaaaaay after goodness. :)
He does his fair share in other words and I wish I would have to put out some dang garbage while he's home. Humph.
So...to you menfolk who are reading this...I need you to take your azz home and...if you're NOT already...figure out how to get in the process. For Thanksgiving Imma need you to research wines that will compliment the menu and go to the store and buy it. Imma need yall to make sure you have the proper glasses you're going to need for the drinks you're going to serve and Imma need yall to be the bartender when folks are in your home. Imma need you to keep checking the garbage can and empty it whenever it's full because when we are cooking BIG meals...the trash gets full QUICKLY. AND...Imma need you to stay out the way. When you come into the kitchen Imma need you to make yourself as small as possible. No sudden movements and please...baby steps.
If you are cooking something...please ask when is the best time for your oven or stove usage. I can't have you in the kitchen turning the oven down to 300 when it's at 350 for a reason (my father used to do this and drive my mother NUTS!) and whenever you're in the kitchen during the cooking...if you see something in the sink that could be rinsed and put in the dishwasher...hit it okay? Once it's full...start it. Once it's finished...empty it.
A couple of hours before the guests arrive...take it upon yourself to vacuum and light a few candles. Sweep in front of the front door to the house and make sure there is extra toilet paper in the guest powder room. You know...finishing touches that we would do IF WE WEREN'T COOKING!!!!!!
When you see the timer counting down on the stove for the turkey...make yourself available. No woman should have to ask you to take a big azz hot turkey out of the oven for her. You needsta be right there when that sucker starts beeping. But DON'T remove it until she's said it's done.
When the doorbell rings? Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu guessed it! That's all on you. Answer the door and be glad about it. Welcome the guests and put away their coats.
Yall always asking how you can help and yet end up downstairs on the sofa watching the game the entire time.
Last but not least...please...PLEASE put on something that shows we take care of your azzes. Do NOT come schelping downstairs looking like you live in a college dorm. That is NOT.CUTE. and will get your azzes cut by the right woman.
If I didn't love you...I wouldn't say a WORD.
Handle that menfolk. We know you got it in you.
Recent Comments