Rantings of a Creole Princess

HOTNESS! Privacy Window Film

Last week I just happened to be standing in the front living room when someone came to the house.

I was startled to see they looked through the little window on side of the door first before they rang the doorbell.

It seriously made me feel some kinda way.

I thought about things I could do to cover up that space but nothing really spoke to me and my take on my personal decor style.

But the kid was mad.

So I started dinking around with Mr. Google and looking into options and I found this:  First Stained Glass Window Film 24-by-36-Inches

Hmmmmm...

Whatchall think?

I'm testing out a couple different looks since I ruined the last one.  UGH!  I.HATE.CHANGE.WHEN.YA.GOTTA.CHANGE!

Scenario from my inbox...

You're all about your quiet time in the morning.

You turn your cell phone on silent at night and don't turn it on again until after you've settled in at the office because you usually forget to turn it back on when you get up.

You look and see a friend has been blowing up your phone BIG.TIME overnight and tells you to call because they have an emergency.

You call the friend.

It's about 10:30am.

The friend doesn't answer so you leave a message and send a text.

No answer all day.

But you see the friend making a few posts on Facebook.

Next day you get an email from the friend saying that they are so upset with you because you weren't there for her when she needed you, yada, yada, yada.

She says she thought you were one of the few people she could count on but she sees that's not the case and she's all hurt, yada, yada, yada and that you've changed since you got married.

o_0

How do you respond?

 

Scenario...

You and your spouse have moved on up.

You live in a penthouse condo in the middle of the city and you LOVE it!

You decide to have a party and invite friends over.

The party is a HUGE success.

The next morning, the maintenance guy tells you that one of your guests threw something on the floor in the lobby that left some damage.

You're shocked because you can't imagine one of YOUR guests would do such so you're all...how do you know it was one of MY guests feeling all Al Sharptonish and whatnot.

Dude is like...you can come see the surveillance video yourself.

So you go down fully expecting to be vindicated but lo and behold...the video shows the wife of one of your guests pull something out of her purse and sling it on the floor behind her.

YOU.ARE.SHOCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just that YOUR guest did it but that ANYONE would be so damn TRIFLING!

The guy tells you that the damage is your responsibility.

What do you do?

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Question...

Do you miss winter in the summer?

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My Car Shopping Basics

1.  Heated seats and windows and mirrors

2.  4 wheel drive

3.  Good sound system

4.  Memory seat and mirror controls

5.  Mirror on driver's side visor

6.  Ability to charge cellphone, etc. while vehicle is turned off

7.  Rubber rain mats

8.  Full size spare tire

Those are the basics of what I'd like to have in a new vehicle.

How does this list stack up with your basics.

Oh...I didn't put air cuz that's UN-DA-MA-STOOD! 

"Oh...they cussing their mamas in Spain now?

If you look real, real close at my face you will note that it is slightly crooked from the time I cussed in front my mama.

What happened the first time you cussed in front of yourN?

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Huh?

I just saw a 9ish lil girl refer to someone as a bitch and her mother said, who?

Am I missing something here? Is this what's hot in the streets?

Sent from my iPad

Gas Pumping?

At what age should a boy start pumping gas for his mother?

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Boy Crazy

How old was your daughter when she started noticing and liking boys? How old were you?

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Hmmmmmmm...

If YOUR teenager daughter got pregnant...would you feel like you failed as a parent?

SIP: Good question.

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Question...

Does your vehicle have heated seats?

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Options...

Would you give your pregnant 15 year old daughter "the option?"

SIP: And don't act dumb either. Y'all know what "the option" is.

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Tell the truth and shame the devil!

Would YOUR 15 year old daughter's father have a problem with putting her on birth control pills? Would you?

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Convo in 13700's ONLY vehicle.

I'm driving.

Me: What time tomorrow do you wanna get started? It's going to be hot again.
Robby: It doesn't matter. You know this street is photo enforced right?
Me: I was behind an Arcadia yesterday and it was cute.
Robby: I know...I read your post on it. It's an Acadia not Arcadia. You need to slow down...why are you speeding up?
Me: I hate behind behind anything I can't see around or over.
Robby: So you were going to pass it?
Me: Yup, but then he put his turn signal on.
Robby: *TIGHT.LIP*
Me: I don't think the! Cadiz is something I'd want to drive for the next 10 years though. What do you think?
Robby: I don't care. You need something you can drive TOMORROW. Your driving is insane and I don't want witness it. I'm already thinking maybe you shouldn't be on the road.
Me: I know huh? Cuz goodness forbid I go 35 in a 30.
*CRICKETS*

SIP: This adventure is prolly gonna end bad.

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Randoms of a Creole Princess!

I bought myself something to make me smile yesterday.

I'm still smiling.

I did a lot of things today that I've been putting off doing around our home. 

I think I'll finish a few things tomorrow and feel much better about myself.

I hated driving today and seeing people walking  or waiting on the bus.

Everybody looked mad.

And hot.

From My Inbox:

Scenario:
 
You're within your 90 day probationary period of a new job.  You discover that a fellow employee who is not your supervisor seems to think you are their personal assistant.  They ask you to do something by slamming a note down onto your desk while you're right in the middle of your already heavy work-load.  You ask if it's something they need right then, or if it could wait until it lines up with what you have going on, and they walk away rolling their eyes with a disgusted look on their face.  Do you discuss this with your supervisor, or roll with it?

Tell the truth and shame the devil.

Juan Williams said, on NPR earlier, that most people would cross the street but that no one would ever say why because of their desire to remain PC. He also said that if a White person crossed the street and was honest about why they did it...they would be labeled a racist.

What say you?

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Tell the truth and shame the devil!

You are walking alone at night or with one other person. A group of Black teenage males with sagging pants, some with shirts off and tattoos, cussing and talking loudly are headed your way.

Would you cross the street?

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Breakfast Spot

When you feel like have breakfast at a restaurant...where do you go? What do you get? What is the average you spend on your meal?

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Sam Shields' Tattoo: HotNESS or HotMESS? (SM)

HUD Emergency Homeowners' Loan Program

If you need this...get on it!  HUD Emergency Homeowners' Loan Program

Champagne Coupe Vs. Flute

This is seriously how my brain works:

 

I was sitting here writing and thinking of those plastic champagne "glasses" you get at some wedding receptions to toast the bride and groom.

Then I was like...what are they called cuz they aren't flutes...???

So then...I went to look it up and learned this:

The champagne coupe or champagne saucer is a shallow, broad-bowled, stemmed glass,  commonly used at wedding receptions, often stacked in layers to build a champagne tower. Champagne is continuously poured into the top glass, trickling down to fill every glass below. Legend has it the shape of the glass was modeled on the breast of Marie Antoinette, Joséphine  de Beauharnais, Madame de Pompadour, or one of several other French aristocrats, although this is almost certainly false. The glass was designed especially for champagne in England in 1663, preceding those aristocrats by almost a century.^[1]

 

 

The coupe came into fashion in the 1930s. It was popularized in post-prohibition America at the Stork Club, where champagne flowed freely and celebrities had bottles of champagne sent to their tables, compliments of the house. The coupe was the champagne glass of choice through the 1960s.

The broad surface area allows champagne to lose its carbonation more quickly, making it less suitable for the current style of very dry champagnes, compared to the sweeter champagnes that were popular in the 1930s, and therefore fell out of fashion except for traditional occasions such as weddings.^{[citation needed]} The coupe is now more commonly used for certain cocktails such as daiquiris.^[2]

Interesting huh? 

And I'm nowhere near finished with this restaurant scene.  You know...the one where they had champagne.  *sigh*

Champagne Stemware

 

Dear Miracle Whip: HUH?

I'm thinking this is kinda an odd contest. What say you? I can't wait to see what people come up with.

I LURVE Mr. Google!

I was working on the deck the other day and I saw a weird bug flying around the planter boxes.  Now...yall know I'm from the country but seriously...I'd never seen a bug such as this so I snapped a few pics!

Check them out:

Dude was flitting around like a hummingbird!

So I typed into Mr. Google:  HUMMINGBIRD TYPE BUG GREEN AND BROWN

And this is what I got:  RESULTS

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE, LOVE, LOVE MR. GOOGLE?????????????????????????????????????????????

That was hot.

 

GIVERS.OF.JOY!

Whitney's Look: HotNESS or HotMESS? (SM)

Scenario from a movie...

Your oldest daughter is adopted.

You decided you would keep it from her.

Your middle daughter is a brat who is extremely jealous of your older daughter even though you stop that ish in it's tracks whenever you see it.

Your middle daughter goes looking for her birth certificate for something and finds her sister's adoption papers.

During a fight with her sister...she tells her in order to cut her deep.

The sister is, of course, DEVASTATED.

You tell her she was chosen, blah, blah, blah...but nothing helps.

Do you punish the daughter who told her? 

How?

HotNESS or HotMESS? (SM): Leather Pants

Are YOU going to do the leather pant this fall?

Divorce Cakes: HotNESS or HotMESS? (SM)

Question...

Should the First Lady eat a hamburger?

Do you find this cartoon funny?

Monnie's List: Tri-State American Air Conditioning & Heating

Tri-State Home Services, LLC (866.624.5970) was called at 8:15 am.

It is now 11:06 am and my boy, Donald, from Tri-State has come and gone, came and went.

Donald was a lovely older gentleman who went straight to the problem, changed out something that he said blew up and kept it moving with an extremely pleasant personality and smile.

It only cost $229.  GO ME!

$109 for the trip/diagnostic.

$120 for the part and labor.

Our air is fixed and Jaru, Lucy and I are laid up waiting on it to be 68 degrees up in here again.

Robby:  What did he say was wrong with it?

Me:  Something blew up and he replaced it.

Robby:  Did he say what it was?

Me:  I'm sure he did. 

Robby:  Well?  What was it?

Me:  I don't know.

Robby:  Well what do you know?

Me:  I know it's fixed.

 

SIP:  I can't do heat in the house.  I'm too old for all that.

 

From BJ: Too Much?

 

Black Vagina Wears Afro, Mexican Vagina Says ‘Ay-Yi-Yi’ in Douche Ad

A/C Problems

Further to the shit happens post below...our air stopped working. 

We are the type of people who sleep COLD.  Like 68 degrees.

When we got up this morning...that sucker said it was 81 degrees in here.  I was sitting up like a crackhead shaking waiting for 8:00 am to get here so I could start calling folks to come fix this nonsense I-MEEEE-JET-LEE!

I currently have 3 companies on their way.  See...they all call before they head out so the first person who calls and says they are on their way is the one I'm going to hire to fix it.

Simple.

Homeownership.  Ya gotta love it.

LIVING THE AMERICAN DREAM PLAYAS!

Has YOUR A/C and Heating ever gone out?  It costs a grip huh?  Be honest with me.  I can take it.

 

Moist

I was talking to a friend yesterday who is feeling overwhelmed about the world of homeownership.  See...in the midst of a homeowner crisis the air in her car stopped working.  The price to get the air fixed is outside of what she can handle right now until she finds out what's what with the issue with the house.

Bless her heart.

I listened to her and then told her quite simply...shit happens.

And I'm serious.  Shit happens.

There is not one person in this world who hasn't had a homeowner issue happen when they weren't in the place to deal with it but guess what?  THEY FIGURED THAT SHIT OUT.

Why?

Cuz that's what adults do.  We use our thinking power, figure out that we're not some sort of evil talisman to ourselves and work it out.  We don't DO these things to ourselves so beating ourselves up over them is just crazy. 

She started laughing cuz you know...the kid can break ish down in an amusing way from time to time even when I'm shaking the crap outta someone.  So then she was like...but I don't know what to do with my car.

And SIP told her azz THE TRUTH!

SIP:  Girl...you're just gonna have to ride around moist for a minute.

And she HOWLED!

I broke it down for her.

See...in my mid-20s I had the same thing happen to me while living in hot azz Dallas.  My air stopped working and I seriously couldn't pay to get it fixed when that sucker broke.  It was HOT.AS.HELL! 

I started wearing all cotton, kept a couple pair of clean underwear in my bag along with some baby wipes and some "talcolm" powder (that's what my Grandmother calls it) and kept it moving.  I got everywhere I needed to be earlier than I needed to be there and hit the bathroom first.  When I returned home I left a trail of clothes from the front door to the bathroom cuz I jumped STRAIGHT into the shower to work it out.  If I didn't NEED to go somewhere...I stayed in the cool comfort of my apartment unless somebody else, WITH AIR, was driving.  Humph.

The kid is NOT joking!

I drove moist for a minute and I lived to tell the tale.

Folks are too soft today.  They all want things to work out like in a Hallmark movie.  Well guess what?

Life doesn't follow a script and sometimes shit gets real hectic real quick.

Does it mean you're doing something wrong?

Sometimes.

But not all the time.

A lot of the time it's simply because...

...SHIT.HAPPENS.

Keep ya baby wipe hand strong.

YOU ever had to drive moist?  Did you ever have a time when your car was running fine except for something like this and you had to keep it moving?

SMACK.DOWN!

Now how many of you would have done the SAME.EXACT.THING?!

From My Inbox: Just breathe...

Hi Monica, I hope this email finds you doing well and in good spirits. Before I go any further please excuse all typos/grammatical errors. I know you've been super busy, I check your blog on the daily (smile) and just wanted to give you a chance to breath before I sent you this email. I haven't spoken to you in a minute and so much has changed. I finally moved from an apt. into a house and it has been a challenge, but I'm tying hard to make things work. I woke up this morning around 2:30 asking God to help me, because I feel like I'm "breaking". It's like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I have no one to lean on or talk to. Don't get me wrong I know someone out there is worse off than me. However, at this time all I can deal with is my issue/issues. I'm trying so hard to move forward and it's like for every one step I take two steps back. I'm feeling some kind of way and just trying to think positive. I've been eating more than I should it seems to help with my frustrations/pain at the moment. I think I've been bitten by the "bitter bug" because lately I've been very bitter. I just want to be happy and enjoy life to the fullest. I've taken so many wrong turns Monica and it's like pulling teeth trying to make those wrong turns right. I wanted to go into detail about some things, but I'm at work and time is limited. It never hurts to ask for prayer, so please do that for me. You know Monica, I think your pretty awesome and I'm not just saying that either. I'm always in awe of your beauty, style, grace and candidness. Well I won't take up anymore of your time I hope you and your family have a good day/night. May you continue to be a blessing to others.

 

I just received this in my inbox and I need help in responding because I'm working on something major today so I don't really have time to say what I'd like to say to the person.

That said...please respond to her.  Let her know we've all been there and felt this.  Let her know we all figured out a way to overcome a lot of stuff that was keeping us down and some of us still are.

Let her know she's not alone. 

Let her know it's okay to BREATHE...

Dear Oprah regarding OWN:

I'm a fan.  Seriously.

I love "The Gayle King Show."

I love the Master Class series.

I LURVE "Season 25: Oprah Behind the Scenes!!!!!!!!!"  I mean really...this show is RIVETING!  LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!

I can watch the Lisa Ling shows if nothing else is on cuz I like her level of detail when it comes to investigating a story even though sometimes I'm depressed as hell after watching.

Now...let's talk about the rest of the shows.

Ask Oprah's All Stars

Anna and Kristina's Grocery Bag

Cristina Ferrare's Big Bowl of Love

Enough Already! with Peter Walsh

In the Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman

Miracle Detectives

Mystery Diagnosis

Your OWN Show: Oprah's Search for the Next TV Star (This one already tanked right?)

Breaking Down the Bars

Finding Sarah

Kidnapped by the Kids

Oprah's Next Chapter

The Rosie O'Donnell Show

Searching For...

Visionaries: Inside the Creative Mind

Why Not? With Shania Twain

*CRICKETS*

SIP:  Let's not.

Okay...so we won't.  I'll just say that nothing else has made me want to watch it.

You're going to have to get some mess up in the programming schedule to attract folks over there.  If not...you're going to end up being just like one of those Discovery channels.  You know...you never think of them unless you're bored out of your mind and you're flipping channels.  Then you see like this huge growth on someone that freaks you out and you HAVE to keep watching so you know what they're going to look like afterwards.  CUZ YOU KNOW YOU GOTTA KNOW!

And then afterwards...you keep flipping cuz nobody cares about someone pregnancy story cuz most folks been pregnant and have their own story.

I'm just saying.

I understand what you're trying to do by attempting to raise the level of consciousness of people with your programming but seriously...folks en masse don't care.  THEY.DON'T.CARE.  They like mess and drama.

Get thee some mess and drama.

QUICKLY.

What say YOU?

 

 

Question...

When you were pregnant...did you ever rock a bathing suit?  What kind did YOU opt for?

*UPDATED* Dear Flexitol:

Hey...this is SIP.

I was just watching television and the following commercial came on:

 

 

 

I frowned at the shoes the chick ended up wearing thinking to myself...what is she...80?

So I wanted to ask yall what yall thought about the shoes.

I asked Mr. Google and then found this version of the same commercial on YouTube:

                                                  

DO YALL SEE THAT????? DOESN'T IT MAKE YOU WONDER WHY THEY CHANGED THE SHOES FOR THE TELEVISION VERSION? I NEED ANSWERS!!!!!

 

"Friends With Benefits"

Is there a safe way to do this?

Are there rules involved that folks need to know about?

If you don't use your home or go to their home...who pays for the hotel?

Are you going to see the movie?  LOL!

 

 

SIP:  Wasn't this just a movie with Ashton and the chick from "Black Swan?????"

Me:  STOP.BEING.MESSY!

Bowling: HotNESS or HotMESS? (SM)

Do YOU enjoy bowling?

When's the last time you went?

Is it something you do with your family?

Do you look for coupons before you go?

The Ick Factor

 

I watched this interview the other day on GMA and was sooooooo creeped out!  The way she looks sometimes is simply gross and yeah...they are just...um...erra...ewwkey. STARTING AT 04:48...SHE JUST LOOKS CA-RA-ZY!

What do YOU think?

Target Flash Mob! Beyonce!

WOW!

Police: Phone-Hacking Whistleblower Found Dead

Alicia Keys' Shorts: HotNESS or HotMESS? (SM)

SIP:  That's Mashonda's son right?

Me:  STOP.BEING.MESSY!

I LOVE CREATIVE FOOLISHNESS!

Tell the truth and shame the devil!

Do you scratch your scalp when you wash your hair?

Me No Likey!

My Godson doesn't eat mushrooms.  He simply doesn't like the consistency of them and refuses to eat them.

I get that.

I don't like pudding for the exact same reason.

Or custard.

Creme brulee?  BLECH!

Weird huh?

Do YOU have anything you don't eat because you don't like the consistency of it?

Scenario...

You're really digging someone and dating them casually.

They tell you they are not looking for anything so it remains casual.

You guys become friends but you're still digging them.

A couple of months later they tell you they are dating someone.

How would you feel?

Would YOU still be able to be their friend?