It's no secret I'm a simple girl with extremely simple views on marriage. The simplest one being...married people can't date. Married people can only have affairs.
Why? Because as long as someone is married...they are NOT divorced.
Now, of course there are grey areas as far as this is concerned but...for the most part.
That's how I feel.
I don't care if you're the "date" or you're the married person.
It's so funny how things happen in life that make you really think. I had someone recently tell me that the guy she's been dating is still married but separated. She had a good point about their relationship and I walked away from that conversation still feeling kinda weird but not completely weird. He's separated right?
He should be able to date while this is all sorted out if he meets a good person and he's good to them.
Right?
Well...that's how a lot of folks feel so...I guess...
The next day I was headed out somewhere and I saw a friend who looked devastated. I asked her what was wrong because her look startled me and she damn near collapsed in my arms and told me she doesn't know where her husband is and he's leaving her.
They have two children in diapers.
*sigh*
SHE.IS.DEVASTATED.
Later that evening Robby and I were headed out to this thingy and I stopped by to check on her. I felt so badly for her because she was just so raw. I hugged her and told her we'd be out and about but to text me if she needed anything.
When we returned home she texted me that she'd found out her husband was in another state visiting a woman he is dating. He told the woman he and his wife are separated. I went over to her home and tried to make her see her way clear. Told her all the things you're supposed to say. Reminding her that couples survive infidelity all the time. Reminding her that she can't curl into a ball with the pain because she has two babies who need her.
She was so hurt. She is so devasted. All she kept saying over and over and over again was..."WHO DOES THIS?????"
And I had no answer. I just sat and listened to her and watched the anguish she's in. The emotions of pure anger to devastation to remembering when they started dating to how they fell in love, etc.
The whole nine.
And he's posted up with some chick in another state who thinks he's separated.
Kinda puts a new perspective on it huh?
Kinda makes the simplicity of that whole separated thing not really be all that simple.
Kinda makes you think about all the what if's surrounding it.
*sigh*
Have you ever been there for someone going through this? Did they work it out? Did they survive?
