Rantings of a Creole Princess

What's left of G-Baby's pedestal...

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Dear Parents:

Do you ever feel like you're in school too just because your kids are?

Scenario from television...

Your best girlfriend is pregnant.

She has no intentions of having the child.

You know the father of the child beause he and YOUR guy are good friends.

The entire thing is weighing heavily on you so you tell your guy about it to get his opinion.

He gets PISSED because he thinks the father (his friend) should know and that it's pretty fugged up yall are conspiring to keep it from dude.

How do you resolve?

What do you do if YOUR guy tells him even though you asked him to please not say a word?

 

 

Scenario from real life...Part 3

So you don't go over and introduce yourself even though you're feeling some kinda way.

You go on about the event doing the wifely duty thingy.

Later, you go to the restroom with one of the wives that you know and like.  You two are gabbing it up in front of the mirror when Pam walks in.

Pam sees you there and turns around and walks out.

The other wife says, "What in the hell was that all about?  She saw you and acted like you were a ghost!"

You good?

Question...

What was the last big project you helped your kids with for school?

 

Ho, Ho, HELL!

Your household income is pretty normal for middle class people.

You have two children.

One of your kids is 15 and wants a pair of $200 jeans, $225 sneakers, $80 graphic hoodie and a $200 thug jacket for Christmas.

You good?

If you're NOT good...what is the alternative that you'd be willing to do?

Stare Dare!

I was in a Target recently browsing in the Christmas decor section.

It was early morning.

I looked up and a dude was standing at the end of the aisle staring at me.

...and rubbing his chest.

JUST.EW!

So I glared in his direction and moved to the next aisle.

Sure enough dude does the same thing and I let SIP speak out loud.

SIP:  What the fuck are you looking at?

...and I glared at his azz.

The startling thing is that my cussing in his direction didn't make him move.  He still stood there rubbing his chest for a few beats before he slowly moved on.

I.WAS.PISSED!

I didn't see him anymore after that but I did a major reassessment of his description in my head just in case some ish went down on my way out and I needed to call the PoPo.

Short, about 5'6", mustache, dark hair, Hispanic, probably in his late 40s, olive green work pants, a brown plaid jacket with like faux sheerling in it and black work boots.

CHECK!

Anything like this ever happened to you?  How'd you handle?

Wine Me up!

How much do you think you spend on wine in a month?

Scenario from real life...Part 2

So...you've never been the type of woman to let some ish ride so you tell your husband Pam keeps glaring at you.

He tells you that  you're obviously imagining things and to not trip at his office party.

You ask him to introduce the two of you and he says no that's silly.

You ask him again and he says, "Go introduce yourself!  You've got two legs."

And he's obviously annoyed.

What do you do?

Santa Monnie

I bought myself two Christmas gifts yesterday.

A BluRay DVD player and the movie "Rise of the Planet of the Apes."

I don't purchase a lot of DVDs.  I only buy the movies I really, really loved.  The last one I got was "Black Swan" and baaaaaaaaaaaaaby...I've darn near wore that thing out.

I  was particularly happy with Rise because I bought the BluRay which also had the regular DVD in it as well as a digital copy.

FOR.THE.WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I put the digital copy on my computer and iPad and gave E the regular DVD.  I kept the BluRay for myself.

How AWESOME is that?  It's like I got 3 movies for the price of one!

GO ME!

Do you buy DVDs?  What's the last one you purchased?  Do you keep the cases they come in or do you put them in a book thingy and toss the case?

FYI!

 

Bath and Body Works has the big three wick candles on sale 2 for $20. 

Even the Aromatherapy ones! 

They are usually $20 EACH and make AWESOME gifts!!!!!

I purchased 8 of my favorite one!  GO ME!

I put mine in the Metal Candle Sleeve at the house so they look nice!  GO ME AGAIN!

Convo at 13700

Phone rings.  I look down at the number that has been programmed into our home phone since we got the damn phones.

I answer...

Me:  What the hell you want?

Shelly:  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I'm calling to check on that other person living on your forehead.

Me:  Everybody got jokes.

Shelly:  (breathing hard trying to push through the laughter)  HOW IN THE HELL YOUR CLUMSY AZZ DO THAT TO YOUR HEAD???????  THE HELL?  IMMA NEED YOU TO SIT DOWN SOMEWHERE HELL!

Me:  Um...hmmmm...by the way...I won.

Shelly:  So ho.

Five hours of phone conversation later...I took my drugs and went to bed.

SIP:  So...yall used to break up every two years.  This time it was about four years.  Yall gonna stick to four again or ya gonna stretch it out to six?

Me:  Shut up SIP.

Robby:  Yall get on my nerves.

I swear I don't know!

My doctor was absolutely amazed at my injury yesterday.  Dude says people who were rear ended by a car usually have an injury like mine.

Robby is threatening to get me a baby sitter.  LOL!  Dude actually told me to stick to filmmaking and leave laundry alone.  LOL!

Isn't that hilarious???????????

 

Scenario from real life...

You attend your husband's annual holiday party.

Almost immediately you notice a woman glaring at you across the room.

You don't know her.

You ask your husband who she is and he says..."Oh...that's Pam.  She's one of the admins in the department."

Yall continue to hobnob but whenever you see Pam...she is glaring at you.

What do you do?

Shutterfly Crooked Cards:

Today is an official bust.  My Christmas cards arrived and they are crooked.  Same thing happened last year but since Shutterfly gave me such exemplary customer service,  took a chance on ordering with them this year again.

I've learned my lesson.

No more Shutterfly.

*sigh*

Verdict

Doc says I have muscle spasms on both sides of neck. Says I probably already had them from carrying Lucy and reinjured them with head whack.

SIP TRANSLATION: We're gonna be high as a kite from muscle relaxer crap. Ugh.

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Totally wishing I had the patience to do this.

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Question...

What's the grossest thing in your purse?

HotNESS or HotMESS? (SM)

Elizabeth and James Neon Stripe Knit Dress

Instrastin...

It Happened to Me: I Told My Boyfriend I Was Born a Boy

Question...

Where are YOU spending Christmas this year?

 

Scenario...

You go on a date with a guy you met at your local grocery store.

The date was at a local restaurant and you drove your car and met him there.

Yall had a pretty great time and ended up going for drinks at a local sports bar after.

At the end of the date you drive home to your apartment and stop and get your mail.

You walk from under the mail thingy and he has pulled up and is getting out of his car.

You're like...DA HELL???????

He's like...DA HELL???????

Turns out yall live in the same apartment complex and never knew it.

Would this sway your decision to continue dating him?

 

Question...

What's the most you'd spend on an article of clothing for a 6 year old kid?

HotNESS or HotMESS? (SM): A man in a peacoat!

Spiewak 'Dugan' Wool Blend Peacoat

Question...

Do you own anything from the UGG brand?

Scenario from television...

Your ex-husband has a new, younger girlfriend.

You're good cuz really...yall were SO.OVER.

You're dating an awesome guy.

AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

You and YOUR guy are at your home and your ex-husband and his girlfriend show up.

Turns out YOUR guy and your ex's girlfriend know each other VERY.WELL.

Why?

He's her father.

You good?

Update on my head...my mood...my...UGH.

It flattened out. 

You can barely see it unless you're all up in my face which we know you wouldn't be.

There is a bit of a bruise.

It hurts like hell to touch it.

My neck is killing me and last night I had an upset tummy and couldn't keep anything inside.

I wasn't throwing up mind you.

(I'm trying to be PC here okay?)

I didn't sleep well because of my stupid neck even though I took 4 no-name brand Advil (800 mg) before bed and stole one of the REALLY good pillows off the guest bed.

I think Santa Monnie is going to get me a new pillow for Christmas.

I don't think Robby is going to be satisfied until I go to the doctor to make sure my dumb butt didn't cause any major damage to my neck.  *sigh*

I haven't had breakfast yet and I wasn't even thinking about doing any form of exercise this morning.

Not even pushups.

I think my mood plus my neck plus my mood is just really not a good combination.

I've cancelled my RSVP to an event tonight and didn't feel the slightest bit of remorse about it.

AT.ALL.

I want to put up my lights outside today but I have a really big feeling that won't happen.

I don't even want a piece of fruit and I didn't finish my coffee.

I got outta bed much later than usual this morning but I feel like I opened my eyes every thirty minutes to find Robby staring at me.

onefromphilly sent me a text this morning talking about bruised blood draining.

TravelDiva painted horror pictures last night about the things Advil and other meds do to your body.

It's mid-60s today.

iCan't.

iSimplyCan't.

I've been informed that I have a doctor's appointment at 2:45pm.  Apparently they wanted me to go to the emergency room first.

I'd rather die than go to the emergency room.

Crap...now I gotta do something to my hair.

 

 

 

NOTICE!

I'd like to apologize to everyone regarding my lack of cheerfulness this holiday season.  I know I'm usually much more upbeat and positive but sometimes it's an honest struggle for me.  I promise I'm trying, mostly for my guy, but yeah...it's kinda hard. 

I think I might just leave my home today with my camera and roam.

HotNESS or HotMESS? (SM)

Over-the-Knee Biker Motorcycle Boot

 

NSFW! Yall know I NEVER do this...

...but this picture that was posted on Facebook has me perplexed.  It's of a young man who seems to be gay wearing a pair of underwear and a doo rag only so don't open it on your work computer. 

The thing that is perplexing is that he has hips, REAL hips like a woman.  Is it photoshopped or do men really grow this way?

http://images.quickblogcast.com/5/2/5/9/5/268598-259525/tumblrlw7qg2w83j1qa5j7uo1500.jpg?a=11

Christmas Memory

What is your fondest Christmas memory?

Birth Hair and Makeup

Did you have hair and makeup done for or immediately after the birth of your child?

 

I remember when Dr. Punkin gave birth to the Golden Boy...I was up in there doing her hair immediately after for company.  LOL!

Scenario...

You're pregnant and the baby is coming.

Your husband is in the room with you.

You're in major pain and requesting an epidural LOUDLY!

Your husband objects saying it's not good for the baby.

Do you remember the mood you were in during delivery?

How would YOU have answered YOUR husband?

"Mama's baby, daddy's maybe????????"

 

WHO IN THE HELL SAYS THAT TO THE MOTHER OF HER GRANDSON'S FATHER????????????

I'M SO, SO, SO CONFUSED!

And seriously...this show left me feeling some kinda way.

 

 

Did YALL see it?

What say you?

TBS WAS ON TV!!!!!

Blogger Shameeka Ayers on DIY Websites: MyFoxATLANTA.com

Blogger Shameeka Ayers on DIY Websites: MyFoxATLANTA.com

Shit...

I just whacked the shit outta my head on a doorjam trying to dodge clothes hanging in the doorway drying.

I WAS NOT ON A LADDER!

Do I need to go have it checked out?  It keeps growing.  *sigh*

Robby is going to have a flipping fit.

SIP:  Yup...he's going to think you were REALLY on the ladder.

*sigh*

THAT'S IT!  I'M BOYCOTTING LAUNDRY!  FOREVER!

Seriously though...yall think I need to go have it checked out?  I hit my head pretty hard. 

Scenario...

Your husband has found someone new.

You are in the process of filing for separation, etc.

You're trying to be a responsible adult about the whole thing because you have children.

You've requested that your husband not have your children around the new woman and he tells you that he is not about to allow you to dictate what goes on in his house.

He's picking them up after school to stay with him for the weekend.

You good?

"Dysfunctional Friends"

"Dysfunctional Friends" is opening in theaters Friday, February 3rd in limited release through AMC Independent in LA/NYC. Dysfunctional Friends will be playing at Universal City Walk in LA and Village 7 in NYC which is on 3rd Avenue and 66th Street.

If you're in LA or NYC...it would be nice if you showed this independent film some love.

Question...

Did you ever go somewhere to stay on your own before you left home for college?  Like...some kinda program or camp or something?

How about your kids?

Thanks Jeff @ Executive Electric in Maryland!!!!!!!!!

I was on the highway the other day and saw an electrical work van with the name Executive Electric on the side along with their phone number.

I called them because our outside sockets haven't worked for a while now and I wanted to put my lights up outside.  Robby was convinced it was something minor because all other plugs in the house work fine but hey...neither he or I couldn't figure it out.

So Jeff from Executive Electric called me back and I told him what the problem was and he told me it sounded like we just needed to locate the GFCI and reset it.

Scenario...

Your family has something interesting happen to them.

One of the big national morning shows calls and asks you to be on their program.

Would you do it?

Would it matter if the interesting thing was good or bad?

What say YOU?

If I Were A Poor Black Kid

From SIP: Erica B. has PISSED.ME.OFF!

By posting this article for me to see: 

Why We Should Let Sasha and Malia Obama Be Kids, Not Fashion Plates

SIP:  I cannot STAND people!  What in the flim flam are they supposed to wear to a damn black tie event???????? 

Netflix Instant Streaming Suggestion: "The Locksmith"

"The Locksmith"

I enjoyed this movie!  It was quirky and fun!  LOL!

Scenario...

You're a locksmith.

You answer a call to open a door for a woman locked out of her house.

You open the door and she goes in.

You're waiting for her to pay you.

She goes inside and starts searching the place and then freaks out and starts busting stuff up.

Turns out it's her boyfriend's house and she just found out he's cheating on her based on the information she found while inside the house.

What do you do?

"Shit Girls Say"

Question...

Who is YOUR Santa?

"Think Like A Man"

Are YOU going to see it?

Me:  I can't WAIT to see it!  It looks like it's going to be good and FUNNY! 

SIP:  Cuz Black dramas don't sell.  Remember that.

Lowe's and the Florida Family Association

So there is a show on TLC which I was unfamiliar with called, "All-American Muslim." 

There is an organization which I was unfamiliar with called the Florida Family Association.

They started a campaign targeting the advertisers of the show "All-American Muslim" basically saying it was un-American to support the show.

UN-AMERICAN?????????  OH HELL NO!  WHY IS TLC AIRING AN UN-AMERICAN SHOW ANYWAY?  LEMME GO SEE 'BOUT THIS RAT.NOW!

THE Anniversary

21 years ago today.

Wow.

One day I'm going to be able to forget about this day as it approaches and look up in surprise to find that the day has come and gone and it didn't hurt.

That day isn't today.

It's been particularly hard for some reason this year.  Seems that as soon as December 1st rounded the corner...it was all I could think about.

21 years marked.

Do YOU notice the anniversary dates of your personal tragedies?