A woman I know stopped talking to me after I was really blunt with her about something. Like...there wasn't a fallout or anything...she just stopped talking to me. She didn't call, didn't write, nothing. Just radio silence.
I understand radio silence.
Since I was so busy I wasn't even keeping up well with family and FRAMILY...I didn't really even notice she'd stopped talking to me.
She called me recently and I was driving so I answered the phone. I was all like...heeeeeeey! I've been meaning to check in with you! How's it going?
And she was like...um...I wasn't talking to you.
And I was like...DA HELL? Why weren't you talking to me?
And she was all like...cuz the last time we spoke...you hurt my feelings.
AAAAARRRRUUUUUUU?????
News to me.
So she reminded me of the conversation.
Now, keep in mind that she is one of those type of women who has it all together. Fly as hell, educated, successful, lovely home, from a REALLY good family.
She's active in her community and is always posted up on Facebook looking FLY.AS.HELL at some high falootin' event. Old girl is DOING-T IT!
In her mind...the only thing she's missing is a husband.
She would call me and complain about the guys she was dating and I'd listen cuz that's what friends do. Yall know I don't believe in giving folks advice all willy nilly unless I trust you to be the type to take advice from me so yeah...I would simply LISTEN UNLESS YOU ASK ME A DIRECT QUESTION.
And then...yeah...I'll answer based on MY personal experiences and outlook on life which might not gel too well with YOUR personal experiences and outlook on life.
So...at the time she was dating a guy who sounded pretty nice IN MY OPINION FROM WHAT SHE SHARED WITH ME. She started having a problem with how gross she thought he was.
Her: Monnie...he blows his nose in the shower by shooting out each nostril on the shower floor.
OR...
Her: He is the loudest damn eater in the world...I mean it's just GROSS!
OR...
Her: He keeps too much shit in his front pocket so his pants are always uneven and he looks a mess!
And on and on and on...
I'm listening to this and thinking to myself...hell...he's just a dude. Dude's do gross or crazy shit from time-to-time.
But I don't say ish.
And then one day she complained to me that he always leaves shit in her car. Gum wrapper. Water bottle. SOMETHING and that it's no surprise because the inside of HIS car is always nasty which is why they always take HER car.
She was at the end of her rope.
And then she asked me a question. A DIRECT question.
Her: Do you think I'll EVER find someone who doesn't drive me crazy? What's WRONG with men?
To which I replied: Look...do you want a MAN or a MANNEQUIN? Cuz men are intrusive as hell. Hell...ANYONE is intrusive as hell if you're used to being alone, ENJOY being alone and are extremely anal about the way you like things done. If you're not willing to be flexible on stuff like this when he's a good guy to you...then you might not find someone who doesn't drive you crazy. Truth be told...you might actually be HAPPIER being single and just dating. When you need an escort...hell...hire you one. You've got the money. They show up looking and smelling perfect, take you to your function, drop you off and you can walk around in your perfectly decorated home touching shit smiling cuz ain't shit outta place. AND YOU'LL BE HAPPY. If he's about to leave a water bottle in the car and you know it drives you nuts...remind him to take it with him. OR...here's an idea...GRAB THE BOTTLE YOURSELF! Gum wrapper? Girl please...my purse is ALWAYS filled with my trash remnants AND Robby's trash remnants. And sometimes...the shit stays in there for WEEKS until I clean out my purse. Couples drive each other insane in relationships sometimes. That's just the way shit goes. I honestly think that if we all lived with a clone of ourselves the damn clone would drive us insane sometimes hell. You'll be sitting there watching yourself eat a damn apple thinking...FUCK! I HATE THE WAY I BITE AN APPLE! LOOK AT THAT DAMN JUICE RUNNING DOWN MY DAMN ARM! AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!
When we got off the phone she was like...
Her: Alright girl...I'll talk to you later.
Me: Okay. Have a good day!
And I didn't think a thing was wrong.
And still didn't until she called talking about some she wasn't talking to me.
Well...when she called recently she was calling to tell me that old boy broke up with her because he thinks she's too hard to get along with and that she's really been thinking about it. She then said that I was right...she really does enjoy being alone in her own space and that she's trying to learn how to be more flexible.
She then asked me a DIRECT QUESTION...
Her: Do YOU think I'm inflexible and hard to get along with?
Me: I gotta go. Robby's calling me on the other line. Talk to you soon.
SIP: Sometimes I lie.
Hey...her direct question answering from me days are so OVER...it's like 1982 up in this joint.
Thoughts? Should I have answered? Would YOU have answered? Do YOU know anyone so comfortable being alone they might not meet someone they can get along with SIMPLY because they just like things their way? Is YOUR S/O gross sometimes too?
Do YOU get what I was trying to say to her?