The Robinator did something recently which drove me bat.shat.crazy. Instead of going off and arguing about it, however, I simply said okay and kept it moving.
A framily member was at our home when it happened and weeks later she brought it up to me while we were discussing relationships.
She started off by saying how much she's learned about her failed marriage since she's been divorced and that she's learned a few things recently by being around Robby and I.
I waited until she spelled it out cuz you know this conversation could have gone left right quick and well...let's just say I'm learning to pick my battles.
So she brought up the thing that drove me BAT.SHAT.CRAZY about what Robby did and she said that had that happened with her ex-husband she wouldn't have been able to let it go. She would have argued and bitched until he realized how ridiculous he was being and it would have blown up into this big, huge, THING. She said she knew that was her main problem. That she just couldn't NOT say anything so she was learning how to not even be bothered by it in the first place...like me.
And I stopped her right there cuz I was amazed that she didn't realized that it drove me BAT.SHAT.CRAZY.
CUZ IT DAMN SURE DID.
So no...I haven't learned how to not let stuff irk me...but I've certainly figured out how to NOT say something about stuff which isn't all that major in the grand scheme of things and deal with it internally and LET.IT.GO.
I broke that down to her.
And she latched on to the words LET.IT.GO.
I get that.
Cuz it really is hard to LET.IT.GO.
And sometimes...it won't happen.
Sometimes my husband and I have really good, deep conversations when we're not annoyed about anything. We discuss things that have annoyed us but we're doing it when we're in a good mood. That way...we're able to process it without any bad feelings and, in the end, it helps A LOT. We're in this marriage together and we are the type who take our marriage very seriously. We don't put anything or anyone above us and we work it out so that the best results are optimal to US and that's never a difficult decision. You know...to choose US.
As we were talking she was thinking and she brought up an argument that she remembered that she'd had and wondered why it was just so hard for her to LET.IT.GO. I didn't have an answer for her and basically said that it wasn't easy all the time but that...yes...she was going to have to figure out how to do it.
We then went on to discuss how so many people look at relationships and marriage like it's this fairy tale of epic proportions and aren't equipped to be able to communicate well enough to LET.IT.GO or COMPROMISE. They never saw Cinderella and Prince Charming disagree so they figure if they disagree with their true love...it must not be true, for real REAL love. And this is a conversation I have with people often. Folks are so quick to give up because it's easy to do. Because you don't have to put in the WORK if you've given up.
You'd be hard pressed to find any couple who've been together for years say that it's always goodness and light.
And now I'm rambling.
Last night Robby and I had a disagreement which drove both of us BAT.SHAT.CRAZY.
I was making a new recipe which called for me to roast two tomatoes in the oven on high heat for 20 minutes drizzled with oil and red wine vinegar. It started smoking up the house because of the oil and Robby turned it off. I put it in the toaster oven for the last 7 minutes of roasting them and it started doing the same thing.
I was sitting out on the deck and saw Robby get up agitated and turn off the toaster oven.
The tomatoes had 4 minutes left.
I felt he could have lived for 4 more minutes with smoke.
He didn't think the risk of a fire was worth following the recipe to the t.
I tried not to say much and so did he but it was obvious both of us were straight DROVE.
The recipe didn't turn out like it should have and I got pissed.
He ate all the food on his plate saying it was just fine.
I was still annoyed.
He was still annoyed.
And then guess what?
We LET.IT.GO.
I know some people who would be mad about that for weeks and used the anger to be all passive aggressive in the weeks to come while we're over here laughing about a movie idea wherein "Bruce Leroy is coached by Tom Ford against the Kobra Kai in the All-Valley gaming tournament in Karate Kid 20: Franchise Mode..."
*sigh*
Okay, okay...I'm rambling. I hope you got something out of that and I hope commenters add some insight that my rambling didn't pull out.
Oh...and if you did feel me...let me know.
