Growing up I had a cool Aunt. You probably did too. She gave it to you straight, no chaser the way your mother wouldn't. See...your mother could only see you as the precious baby she protected and raised. Your cool Aunt straight up knew who you were and that you weren't slick.
Seems a lot of folks don't have a cool Aunt cuz if they did...they wouldn't fall for a lot of shit that seems to be shoveled out these days. At age 43 I'm too young to be your mother...but I'll be that cool Aunt fo' sho.
You can call me T-Monnie and Imma tell you like it is or like I see it. If you don't like it...oh well. It don't make me no nevermind if you listen or not cuz seriously...you'll learn.
The hard way.
Now...here's some cool Aunt advice right up off the bat. Consider this your introduction to me. What would T-Monnie do? I'm about to tell you.
IF A GROWN AZZ MAN ASKS YOU FOR MONEY YOU LOOK HIS AZZ IN THE EYE AND LIE. TELL HIM YOU AIN'T GOT IT. SIMPLE. TELL HIM A BIG AZZ WHOPPER IF NEED BE. THE GOVERNMENT GARNISHED YOUR CHECK CUZ YOU OWE TAXES OR SOME SIMPLE SHIT LIKE THAT. AND THEN...YOU FADE HIS AZZ TO BLACK CUZ SERIOUSLY...IF A GROWN AZZ MAN IS GOOD WITH ASKING YOU FOR MONEY WITHOUT IT BEING EXTREMELY DIFFICULT FOR HIM TO DO...HE AIN'T WORTH THE LOTION HE SMEARED ON THAT MORNING.
HELL.
NO.
BUYING SHIT FOR A GROWN AZZ MAN? HELL.NO! If it ain't his birthday or Christmas...Imma need him to buy his own outfits and sneakers. Being nice turns into being a damn doormat swiftly. Don't be that fool. DON'T.BE.THAT.FOOL.
And...further to that...if you're a woman and in need and he knows and ain't offer up any assistance AT.ALL...Imma need you to leave his azz solo. YOU CAN DO BAD BY YOUR DAMN SELF!
That sounds contradictory I know. Cool Aunts don't always dish out fair advice. We're too busy being the Cool Aunt.
PAH-DOW!
