WHAT ANNA SAID! EXACTLY WHAT ANNA SAID.
anna has left you a comment:
There's going to be a point where you stop helping her. Either because you won't, or because you can't. With you not there to enable her, she'll be forced to take herself seriously, and make real changes. It would be FAR better for her to hit rock bottom while she is in her 40's than when she is in her 60's. It would also be far better for you to stop helping her because you chose to, not because she has exhausted your resources. She's young enough to be resilient, but she won't always be that way, and while you may be helping her in the immediate term, in the long term, you're actively hurting her. I'm speaking from experience. And from that experience I would highly recommend that you start talking to a counselor, or reading some books to help you establish healthy boundaries with your mom, and to stop funding her behavior. Because you are in your 30's and she in her 40's, I would not be surprised if your mom is mentally ill, and you have been groomed to take an adult role in her life, rather than the appropriate role (as a child.) Do you have 6 months of salary saved in case of job loss? Is your IRA fully funded? If you were physically incapacitated, would you be financially ok until benefits kicked in for you? Do you have property that earns passive income in case you can not work? If the answers to these are "no", then you have to stop this mess with your mom NOW, before you get so entrenched in her life that that there are two people struggling, not just one. Because what happens when something happens to you, and your mom's been the hole in the bucket, unnecessarily leaking out your resources? (From experience - you are in a dicey situation. Not your mom: YOU.)
