...I was so sad.
There wasn't anything I could do about it either.
I went shopping and didn't find a thing that made me smile.
Those who truly love me understand how painful the day is for me and sent texts or emails letting me know they love me in a quiet way. Not really all up in the middle of the topic...but just letting me know they know and they love me.
Pictures and ehugs of and from the children I love. Nephews, Godchirren, etc.
The closer the person to me...the simpler the check in because they KNOW me.
"Say bruh...I lub you."
"Miss you."
"Yall having good weather today?"
My baby brother called me 4 times yesterday.
I answered every.single.time.
I knew he needed that connection and honestly...so did I.
My mommy us long ago.
I don't have babies even though I gave it a MAJOR try.
It was bad. Like...it was WHY ME LORD bad.
I go shopping when I feel like that because I know I won't burst into tears in public. I just keep moving.
One foot in front of the other.
The calls, texts and emails kept coming showing me I'm loved.
And then I got a call from my main Godson while I was looking for new placemats which made me smile:
E: T-Monnie...I saw a butterfly I want you to help me look up tomorrow.
Me: Okay. What color was it?
E: It was black and yellow but it didn't have the traditional markings of a Monarch.
Me: Cool...don't forget and we'll look it up. (Nerd thing.)
E: T-Monnie?
Me: Yeah baby.
E: I want to thank you for everything that you do for me. (He lists things he appreciates.)
Me: Do you know why I do those things for you?
E: Because you're awesome?
Me: (laughing) No...because I love you very, very much. You are a good person, you're smart, you're fun and you're funny. You are an extraordinary young man and I see in you traits that will help change the world for the better. That's why.
E: Gee...thanks for the pressure.
Me: (laughing) You can handle it punk. See you tomorrow.
And then...I went home and made guacamole for my husband and played around with my camera. It's hard shooting by yourself. LOL! Especially close ups and extreme close ups. Sure...you can do a wide shot or a medium shot with no problem. Just mark the spot and stand there.
Sorry...rambling.
My husband is always at a loss for what to do when I get down like that but he always figures it out. The thing about unconditional love is that it shows you how to pace it out as needed. Step back, relax, HUG. Stop hugging when the hug has helped to heal.
I was really sad yesterday but I loved all of the Facebook posts about the love of being and having a loving mommy. They made me smile. Bittersweet smiles mind you...but smiles nonetheless.
I missed my mommy BIG.TIME.
I guess I always will.
Please tell me about YOUR day. Was it good? I hope so. What did you do? How did you celebrate? Share your mommy love with me.
